Short Shorts

by Coranth

152. Displaced?

Last night I fell asleep... and then, the next day I woke up in Equestria, as a "pony" of myself.

No special powers.

No wings or horn.

I was literally a 'pony' version of myself; just a rather plain, tan-coated, brown-maned, hazel-eyed Earth Pony, with the image of a computer crossed with a screwdriver on my flank. I even had my glasses on - just adapted for my muzzle - and even wore the clothes I was wearing back on Earth, too: navy-blue shorts and a yellow shirt with aboriginal art dotted on.

"Well, shit..." I grumbled, swearing I could hear a ROB - a Random Omnipotent Being - laughing in the distance, one who wasn't Discord. A breathy snort escaping me, I checked where I was - yep, entrance to Ponyville - then headed into town and straight to Twilight's Library. Or should I say, her new Castle. Hmmm... that wasn't there the other times I've been here. Ah well, doesn't matter... No sooner had I knocked on the door than Spike was there opening it--and giving me a bone-crushing hug! "David," the little drake cried joyfully, "you're here again?"

"Yep, again," I replied, returning the hug. "Twi in?"

"Uh, huh," he replied. "Just a sec..." Spike turned about then hollered "Twilight! David's here--again!"

No sooner had he yelled then there was a crack of displaced air and - "Oof!" - I was being winghugged and nuzzled-nuzzled-nuzzled by said lavender mare, laughing as I tried to fend her off. Suddenly - CRACK! - "That's for leaving without saying goodbye first," she yelled as I nursed the bruise on my cheek. Then, " - and this is for coming back to me..." she healed the bruise even as she touched noses with me and blew, sharing breath with me. I returned the gesture, and then we went indoors.

Inside, we settled down by a warm, crackling fire in some kind of sitting room as Spike went to prepare us some tea. Therein, Twilight laid it all down. Her ascension. Tirek. The loss of Golden Oaks. Her adventures so far. I took it pretty well. "Damn, mare, you ever catch a break?"

Twilight sighed, cuddling against me, "Not recently, no. So... how long will you be here for this time?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. For however long the ROB wants to fuck with me, I guess. Normally I'd love to stay for a bit, but I gotta go to work on Wednesday; fix more Computers for the shop..."

At this, Twi's ears perked up. "How's that going, anyways?" she asked.

"Eh, okay. Damn Site Manager keeps changing things about, and there's barely any volunteers there so the unloading area is always a mess; makes it difficult for me to actually get to the computers I'm trying to fix... In other words: the usual..."

Just then, Spike returned with some tea for us all. As we were drinking it, I looked to him. "You still got that Ghost Rider Comic I gave you last time?"

The little dragon nodded. "Sure do!" he replied, "and it's in its backing board. That was so awesome; I've never read anything like it. Can you get another issue?"

"Can do, little man; I'll see what I can do when ROB sends me home..."

"Awesome!"

We lapsed into comfortable silence for a moment--but then Twilight looked about, shifty, before she looked at me guiltily and said, "I... I have a confession to make!"

Oh, boy... I thought, then asked, "What is it this time?"

Twilight whimpered, and then she answered, "I... IwatchedMadMaxFuryRoadandIlikedit!"

I looked at her blankly for a moment. Then... "My Skyways bag is still here."

Twilight nodded.

"From it you took my portable DVD player, and you watched Mad Max Fury Road." I stated with a frown. "I thought you ponies didn't like violence."

"Normally, we don't--but... but I just had to see it, okay?!" The little lavender mare huffed, misty eyed.

"Heh," Spike stated, a shit-eating grin on his face, "this isn't the only time she's watched one of your action films from Earth; I caught her watching Terminator 2 one time when I went to get a midnight snack..."

"Spike!" Twilight whined angrily, but the dragon waved her off.

"What did you think of it?" I asked.

Twilight looked as if she might burst into tears for a moment--but then she swallowed and gushed, "Ohmygoditwasamazing! I-I've never seen anything like it. It didn't have much of a plot, of course, but still... what a spectacle; it was fantastic! I..." and here, she whispered, "I went as Immortan Joe for Nightmare Night after that..."

At this I near bust a gut laughing! "Bullshit; proof or it didn't happen!"

Twilight growled, miffed--and then with her magic she blacked out the windows before dashing upstairs to her wardrobe, opening a secret wall where she kept her stash of 'taboo' things... When she came down, my jaw dropped open, for there before Spike and I stood a pony version of the terrifying Immortan Joe; Twilight had used a simple spell to bleach her fur and mane and she'd gotten the actual costume perfect, mask, air bellows, armor and all!

"Rev it up, for the Immortan Joe!" Spike crowed, getting into character.

... and then, Twilight spoke, pitch perfect, in that terrifying, booming voice...

"Once again, we send off my War Rig to bring back guzzoline from Gas Town and bullets from the Bullet Farm! Once again, I salute to my Imperator, Furiosa! And I salute my half-life War Boys, who will ride with me, eternal, on the highways of Valhalla. I AM YOUR REDEEMER! It is by my hand you will rise from the ashes of this world! Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you and you will resent, it's absence!"

Spike and I cheered when she was done, and the poor mare blushed beneath her mask. "Oh, my GOD, Twi, that was awesome!"

Author's Note:

A Displaced human who's gone to Equestria so many times that the ponies think nothing of it...

Comments

[Oddboy]

Visitor from another town: "Did... that pony just appear out of nowhere?"
Lyra: "Hm...? Oh, that's just David. He does that. Pay it no mind, he's harmless. Nice guy, good at fixing stuff."
Visitor: "But... he's an earth pony! They can't teleport!"
Lyra: *shrugs* "Yeah, I got nothing. David says something named Rob likes to screw with him. I get the feeling it might be a relative of Discord."
Visitor: "I... what?"
Lyra: "This is Ponyville. You'll get used to it. We did."

Basically just another day in the world of Ponyville and inhabitants.