Short Shorts

by Coranth

209. Bureaucrat.

Red Tape frowned. “Look, Mr. Boucher, I know that not all... beings... are as happy as I am in regards to doing bureaucratic paperwork, but this is very important. If this paperwork isn’t properly filled out, then... well let’s just say that you don’t want to know what will happen, as I can assure you it will not be a pleasant experience.

At the unspoken threat from this... this barn animal that had dared set hoof on our land, had dared to teleport into our home, Ieesha loosed a dangerous rumble, the slit-pupils of her midnight-blue eyes narrowing. "Really?" I sneered, hazel eyes cold chips of ice. "Really? 'It will not be a pleasant experience?' Please. There is little that you, or your Princesses could ever do to us, pony. Astra Solamina - the Tirek-corrupted Celestia of the Conversion Bureau Universe - couldn't enter the Dragon Weyr at the height of her power; compared to her, an uncorrupted Princess Celestia is nothing."

I shook my head, and Ieesha snorted. "You are here only at the behest of the Weyr - it let you in - and... I was going to 'play nice' as it were -- but then you just had to go and threaten me and mine. So here is my response to your hollow threat, little pony: I have no intention whatsoever of becoming an Equestrian Citizen; I will not work for you, nor pay taxes, as I have no need of anything you primitive little animals could ever provide; the Weyr is completely self-sufficient and has always provided whatever I and Ieesha need. The land upon which it rests--is ours; other than that, we have no need for you. Good day."

With but a touch of psionic power, I forced the horrid bureaucrat pony to take a deep breath of air; then a moment later the Dragon Weyr blinked him, unprotected, into the unreality of warp -- before he was rudely spat back out into reality at the Gate of Dawn, outside the Weyr. Covered with a light layer of frost due to his brief warp exposure, his eyes wide with terror, Red Tape whimpered and scrambled back to where Prince Blueblood, Twilight, and Lyra waited. Through chattering teeth, he told them what had happened. At the mention of Astra Solamina, Twilight went very still; at the threat Red Tape had given to the human Lyra grew furious, and at the whole debacle Prince Blueblood groaned, face-hoofed, wondered if the situation was salvageable.

"It has to be!" Twilight Sparkle thundered at Blueblood, later. "'Astra Solamina' - Princess Celestia corrupted by Dark Magic? We need to know about this! And the Conversion Bureau Universe? What the hoof is that?! No guards, no more nonsense with bureaucrats; Lyra and I will see if we can go inside the human's pyramid, the 'Weyr', ourselves -- politely this time!" At her words, Lyra Heartstrings nodded, still seething internally at the complete mess the bureaucrat Red Tape had made.