Chapter 3
As Applejack passed the next day with farm work and chores, the wall of determination started to crack. Once again there was nothing left to do but think, and the feelings that seeped in tore at her already tender heart. Every hope and dream she had for the future included Rainbow Dash. Most of her happy memories included Dash, too. In some thoughts it was a huge, gaping hole, and in some it was just the nagging feeling of some missing detail, but none of her thoughts felt right. And as soon as she remembered why, the pain returned.
She bucked a few rows of trees, no longer looking forward to a few years from now, when Dash would come home to stay, or a few months until her next vacation, or even Friday. There might be a letter Friday, but it wasn’t one to look forward to. Thoughts of cider season or Hearth’s Warming were clouded, knowing that even if Dash wanted to see her by then, things would be awkward. She knew that new dreams would come along someday, but until then the future felt like a blank calendar, page after page of nothing but uncertainty.
The past was worse than that, every beautiful memory turned into a weapon against her. Too many fun parties, or joyful runs, or nights under the stars came back to her painfully. So many times she had done little day-to-day things with her pegasus there, smiling in the background. The greatest victories of her life, Rainbow Dash stood next to her. Even getting her cutie mark was tied to her now ex-marefriend, and Applejack wondered if she’d ever see another rainbow that wasn’t bittersweet.
One memory came back again and again as she worked that day, the first time Dash had said she loved her. It wasn’t exactly romantic. In a way it made her feel justified. But it nagged her more than the others, maybe because it reminded her that when things were different there had been a chance for them.
They’d been dating a few months, and were walking home from a party. It was dark out, but a full moon lit the path. Applejack had been getting slightly uncomfortable, they kissed and went on dates, and had a great time, but she wasn’t sure exactly where they stood.
So that night, at the gate to Sweet Apple Acres, she turned to Rainbow Dash and said, “Dash, I love ya’.”
Applejack stared at Dash, daring her to hesitate. Which she didn’t. She just said, “I know,” and kept walking.
Applejack grabbed Dash’s tail in her teeth and tugged her back. Dash landed on her rear, looking confused.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack challenged.
“What? I just meant, of course you love me.” Dash rolled her eyes. “That’s why we’re dating, AJ.”
“Do you love me?” Applejack asked, almost as confused as Dash now. The pegasus seemed to be oblivious to how a relationship was supposed to go.
“Yeah! I’ve said it, like, a million times.” Dash claimed, but Applejack was absolutely sure that wasn’t true.
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Name one.”
“I mean, I must have.” Dash stammered. “I brought you those flowers. . .”
“Never said it. ‘Sides you ate most of those.” Applejack smirked.
“They were good! But- but- I said it when you had your mane down last week! I totally said it then!” Dash looked to Applejack for agreement.
She just shook her head. “Nope.”
“I did-” Dash started to argue, then her face fell. “Oh. Yeah. I remember now, I thought it would sound sappy. It was when I wanted to say how pretty you looked.”
Applejack smiled. “You thought I looked pretty?”
Dash’s eyes went wide. “In a totally cool way! Not, like, I thought your mane looked really soft, and your eyes looked all sparkly in the sun. . . ‘Cause that would be lame. Heh.”
Applejack just chuckled. “Ya’ know, Dash, you can tell me this stuff. I ain’t gonna go spreadin’ it around.”
Dash eyed her suspiciously. “Promise?”
“Yup.” Applejack nodded.
“Uh, okay. . .” Dash looked down and rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof. “Well. . . I guess I love you. And you’re pretty. And stuff.”
Applejack kissed Dash on the lips. “I love ya’ too.”
Dash grinned. “That’s kind of cool. Does it always work like that?” she said, and she wrapped her wing around AJ as they finished the walk to the farmhouse. After that night, Dash had said she loved AJ countless times.
And now she wouldn’t, ever again. That was gone.
Applejack hauled a load of apples to the barn, feeling the pain at that fact overwhelm any common sense. If they’d had that conversation by letters, it would’ve taken Dash years to say she loved her. That was why this couldn’t work. They’d been doomed from the start, they just hadn’t realized it.
She knew all of that, but. . . Rainbow Dash would never say she loved her again.
In the barn, she unloaded her apples from the cart into barrels, and put the lids on tight. She was just finishing the last one when she heard a soft sound from the door of the barn.
“Um. . .”
“Hey, Fluttershy.” Applejack said, giving the top of the barrel a good thump, then turning to look at her friend. Fluttershy was looking at her from behind her mane, even more concerned than usual.
“Hello, Applejack. I. . . um. .. thought you might want to talk to somepony today. Unless you don’t.”
Applejack sighed. “Ya’ talked to Rarity?”
“Yes. . .” Fluttershy admitted. “She said, well, that you might. . . need a friend.”
“I did it,” Applejack said, feeling a lump in her throat. “I sent Dash a letter.”
“I’m sorry,” was all Fluttershy said as she gently walked over to Applejack and gave her a nuzzle.
“I am too. I never meant to hurt her.” Applejack looked down at the floor of the barn, not sure what else to say.
“Applejack,” Fluttershy said softly. “Sometimes these things, well. . . they just don’t work out. If that’s what happened, it’s nopony’s fault. You feel bad, and Rainbow Dash will feel bad, but your friends still love both of you.”
“I know y’all will. And I love y’all. Even. . .” Applejack swallowed and cringed a little.
Fluttershy nodded, biting her lip.
Applejack went on, “I had’ta do it, Fluttershy. I was hurtin’, and I was just gonna go on hurtin’. This way. . . it hurts now, but we can get through it.”
“I know. It’s okay,” Fluttershy whispered.
“Thanks. I- I’m just tryin’ to get on with things now.” Applejack nodded to the barn. “Get through it. It hurts, but that’ll go away. Will ya’ let the girls know I’m kinda stayin’ clear of town right now? I ain’t quite ready for ponies askin’ questions.”
“Of course. Take all of the time you need. But. . . maybe in a few days you’d like to get together with us? We want to be there for you.”
Applejack smiled a little. “Tell ya’ what. If you promise ya’ won’t let Pinkie out here before then, I’ll head into town on Friday, and we’ll all have lunch. I just ain’t sure I can stand bein’ cheered up by Pinkie just now, bless ‘er soul.”
“I’ll ask Twilight to help. I’m sure she can keep Pinkie distracted,” Fluttershy agreed. “And, well, you know where my house is, if you need to talk.”
“Thanks. Thanks so much, sugarcube.”
“You’re welcome.” Fluttershy gave Applejack another quick nuzzle, and turned and walked out of the barn.
When she was well out of earshot, Applejack sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said, knowing there was nopony there to hear it.
***
The week went by, the pain dulled to an ache. The belongings Dash kept with AJ were carefully boxed up, and the photo on AJ’s nightstand was moved to the bottom of a chest, along with the magazine from under her mattress. She wanted to throw the magazine away, but the simple fact that it was Rainbow Dash’s picture made it impossible to resign to the trash barrel or the fireplace. Someday she would look at it again, when it didn’t hurt so much.
By that Friday, Applejack almost felt ready to face the town. She trotted to Sugarcube Corner, only feeling the occasional twinge in her heart. She nodded to ponies, who thankfully kept their distance, until she came to the bakery. There she cautiously opened the door and peeked in.
Her friends were already there, so she entered the shop and smiled. “Hey, y’all.”
Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy smiled and greeted her. Pinkie, looking decidedly uncomfortable, was squinting and trying to remember something. Then she gave a huge grin.
“Hello, Applejack! I hope you’re feeling. . . better.” Pinkie turned her head back to Twilight. “It was better, right? Because I wasn’t supposed to say good or okay because she might still be really sad, and it might make her even sadder to have to say she’s okay when she’s sad, and-”
“Pinkie!” Twilight hissed, smacking her own face with her hoof.
“What? I didn’t say anything about Rainbow Da- mmmph!” Pinkie’s mouth was suddenly filled with a cupcake surrounded by a blue glow of magic.
Rarity smiled at Applejack. “How are you feeling, darling?”
“Fine. Just fine,” Applejack said, taking a deep breath.
“Good.” Twilight smiled and seemed to relax a little. “Would you like a cupcake?”
“They’re really yummy!” Pinkie added, having finished the one in her mouth. “I made them myself! Apple cinnamon, your favorite!”
“Well, don’t mind if I do.”
“I have a hundred and twenty more in the back!”
Applejack stopped with her mouth halfway to the cupcake, and raised her eyebrows. “A. . . hundred and twenty?”
“Yup! I wanted to cheer you up, but Twilight said cheering you up wasn’t going to cheer you up, so I asked what would cheer you up, and Twilight said I could bake you some cupcakes! But you’ve been sad a few days, and every time I wanted to go cheer you up I baked more cupcakes. . . I wanted to cheer you up a lot.”
Applejack stared at Pinkie and blinked. Then, for the first time in almost a week, she chuckled. “Well now, thank ya’ Pinkie. That sure does cheer me up.”
Her four friends smiled and relaxed, joining in the laughter and cupcakes. Everything felt normal, it felt good. Twilight talked about a book she’d been reading, Rarity complained about a picky customer, Fluttershy sat next to Applejack, smiling to see her friend smile, and Pinkie was Pinkie. It was exactly what Applejack needed, she could feel herself relaxing.
Until the shop door opened, and she heard a scratchy voice behind her.
“Hey guys, what's the party for?”
Everypony froze, and eyes went wide around the room. Applejack shut her eyes, she couldn’t turn around. But she had to, it was only fair. This had to happen someday, and it might as well be sooner rather than later.
When she opened her eyes again, her friends were glancing around frantically, but none of them had answered Dash. So Applejack took a deep breath and turned around.
Rainbow Dash wasn’t wearing her uniform. She didn’t look angry, which was good. She didn’t look happy, either. A small smirk played at her lips, but her face looked tired and worn.
“Did ya’ get my last letter?” Applejack said softly.
Dash took a shaky breath and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well, I been down since. . .” Applejack hesitated, but decided there was no sense in beating around the bush. “Since I broke up with ya’. That wasn't how I wanted it to go anymore than you did. The girls were just tryin' to cheer me up.”
Twilight added apologetically, “We, um, would have done the same for you, Dash. But you weren't here, and AJ was. . .”
“I know, guys. I get it.” Dash said with a sad smile towards her friends. Then she turned to Applejack, and her smile turned to a look of determination. “But, I'm not accepting the break up. I'm not breaking up with you.”
“Uh. . .” Applejack just stared. Then she shook her head. “I ain't sure you can do that, Dash.”
“I can at least ask you to talk to me, right? Tell me face to face, if that's what you really want.” Dash looked AJ in the eye, refusing to break eye contact while Applejack felt every bit of pain come rushing back to her.
It was Applejack who finally cringed. “It ain't what I want! But I can't have what I want. I just can't make ya' see things right through the letters, and that's all I get for a good long time. So will ya' please just lemme be?”
“I can see how upset you are. And I can totally see how that's my fault. So just gimme a chance to talk to you.” Dash smiled sadly and shrugged. “I mean, what've we got to lose?”
“I guess I owe ya’ that.” Applejack admitted. She turned to her friends, “Y’all mind if we-”
“Oh no!” Twilight said, “Go talk, you two.”
Fluttershy nodded, as Rarity added, “Take all the time in the world.”
“Take some cupcakes!” Pinkie said frantically to Dash, shoving a bakery box into the hooves of the confused pegasus. “Girls love cupcakes!”
“Uh, okay.” Dash agreed.
“We’ll be-” Applejack hesitated, unsure if both of them would be coming back to Sugarcube Corner that day. “We’ll seeya later.”
She walked out the door, Dash flying after her. Outside, Dash moved to her side. Applejack caught ponies in town staring at them. Most of them had probably heard some version of what happened, or pieced it together between the tabloid article and Applejack’s public breakdown and disappearance.
The two walked towards Sweet Apple Acres. AJ couldn’t help stealing glances at Dash, feeling guilty that she couldn’t think of anything to say. A week ago, just having a walk like this would have been a dream come true, but now it was a private torture, a reminder of how much she’d lost for the decisions she made.
“So, how long are ya’ here for?” Applejack asked, to fill the awkward silence.
“Heh, I’m not technically here. . .” Dash blushed and smiled a little. “I’m in Cloudsdale, for a family emergency. But Spitfire didn’t buy that for a second. She knows about the letter, she’s just giving me a break. I’ll have to get back by tomorrow morning if I don’t want her to call me on it.”
Applejack smiled a little and shook her head at Dash. “Must be hard, to have’ta sneak off to take care’a somethin’ like this.”
“Nah, you do what you have to do for what’s really important,” Dash said with a shrug. “Hard is flying from Fillydelphia to Ponyville and back in a day.”
“You flew all the way from Fillydelphia?” Applejack raised her eyebrows.
“Non-stop,” Dash answered with a sad smile.
Applejack knew a flight like that must have taken hours. Dash would have had to have left before dawn, just to come and have Applejack really tell her it was over. No wonder she looked so tired.
As soon as they started passing apple trees, Applejack spoke up. “This look okay? For a talk, I mean.”
“Yeah, this is good.” Dash nodded. Applejack jumped the fence into the orchard, while Dash flew over and landed next to her. They both settled in under a tree, just out of view of the road.
“So. . .” Applejack sighed. “I wasn’t sure you’d wanna talk about this. I thought ya’d be mad at me.”
“I was. I mean, I think it’s a good thing you sent a letter. I’ve had a day to cool down.” Dash set down the box of cupcakes and leaned back against an apple tree. “Reading that hurt, and sometimes I’m not the smartest pony in Equestria when I’m hurting.”
“I’m sorry,” Applejack said softly. “But, I meant it, Dash.”
“I'm sorry, too, AJ. I messed up.” Dash looked at the grass, and fidgeted with tree root growing through it. “When I got that letter from you, telling me it was over, I was really confused, and hurt, and angry. And I wanted to talk to you, but you weren't there. I broke a lamp in my hotel room, I threw it at the wall, and Spitfire made me tell her what happened. Then, when I was telling her, I kinda realized. . . you were probably feeling the same way when you got those letters from me.”
“I darn near bucked a hole in the wall of my room.” AJ said, but she had to smile a little at Dash finally understanding how she felt.
“Okay, so let's not do this stuff anymore. Do you even know how much hotels charge you for a lamp?” Dash rolled her eyes, and gave a nervous smile. Applejack had to chuckle, and Dash’s smile relaxed. “We're both here, so let's talk. I love you. Do you still love me?”
“Yeah. I do,” Applejack said, not meeting Dash’s eyes. “But that ain't gonna fix everythin', Dash.”
“I know. But it's a start. Now, tell me what's wrong.” Dash said seriously.
Applejack sighed. She thought all of this was behind her. “I already wrote ya’-”
“And that worked really well,” Dash cut in. “So tell me.”
Applejack swallowed, and remembered all of the problems and pain. “Famous ponies. . . they're different, ya' know? Ya' see 'em on a magazine, and ya' never think that's somepony's friend, or marefriend, or somepony who's got a family. And they don't help matters none, by doin' all the crazy stuff they do. So when I see you there, and I get your letters, and I can't talk to ya', I feel like you're different now. And I don't wanna be with somepony different, Dash. I wanna be with you, but you're just. . . not there.”
There was silence for a few moments. Applejack stole a glance at Dash, who seemed to be concentrating, thinking carefully about something. But Dash caught her eye, and nodded.
“I get it. But I'm here now, right?”
“For a bit,” Applejack said sadly.
“I mean, I'm the pony you wanna be with? I’m not a different pony, just me?”
Applejack looked at Dash, with her bright magenta eyes, and her vivid colors, and that sweet, hopeful look on her face. “Yeah. Ya' are.”
“Good.” Dash nodded and smiled. “I'm always this pony, AJ. Really. On photoshoots, or at parties, or wherever. I told you all about the stuff I was doing because it sounds cool, I thought you'd rather hear that than the stuff I think about. But the stuff I think about, that's all about you, and Ponyville, and how much I miss you. Before I got your letter, I spent a whole evening last week at some party, and all I was thinking was, is this really worth it? Is being a Wonderbolt really worth being away from home and the pony I love?”
“What'd ya' decide?” Applejack asked, softly.
Dash frowned and looked down, her ears drooping. “I decided this is a once in a lifetime chance, and that if there was one pony in the whole world that I could count on to wait for me, it was you. And that's what made me feel better, knowing that I had you waiting here, and I didn't have to choose between my dream and my life. 'Cause, this is my life, AJ. Here, with you.” She sighed, and AJ thought she saw the gleam of tears in Dash’s eyes. “At least, I thought it was.”
Applejack felt her heart beating, like it had somehow been stopped and she hadn’t noticed until it started again. She bit her lip, and reached out a hoof to touch Dash’s. “You never did say that.”
“I didn't.” Dash shook her head, still looking at the ground. “I'm sorry. It's just. . . Remember when I said ‘I love you’ for the first time?”
“I was thinkin’ ‘bout that the day I sent that letter.”
“Well, then you should know that sometimes I’m not good at saying stuff like feelings. It feels sappy and corny, so I don’t say it and I figure you’ll know.” Dash gave a snort, still looking at the ground. “We’re gonna call that bad idea number one.”
“I know, and. . .” Applejack hesitated, then dropped her own eyes to look at the grass. “I ain't always been helpin'. I been scared of all this for a while, but I never did say it before ya' left. I just wanted ya' to be happy.”
Dash raised her eyebrows. “How'd you expect me to do that if you're not happy?”
“I was bein' a fool.” Applejack smiled sadly, looking at Dash again. “Guess that was bad idea number two, huh?”
“Yup,” Dash nodded. “And bad idea number three was that I didn’t listen when you tried to tell me. It just seemed to come out of nowhere. I didn’t see that it was a big deal.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “When we ain’t face to face those letters are real important, Dash. They’re the only way I can know what you’re thinkin’, and the only way I can try to tell ya’ what I’m thinkin’. If I take the time to write somethin’ like that, you better believe it’s a big deal.”
“I know that now. We can do better at this. I know neither of us is the best at words, but we’re the best at each other. And if staying the best at you means I have to get better at words, I can work on it.” Dash looked to AJ with big, hopeful eyes. “Just, let me work on it.”
Applejack sighed. With Dash looking like that, it was so tempting. And so messy, there would be more waiting, more hoping, more misunderstandings and magazines and stories she’d have to fend off herself, with nothing but trust that she knew her marefriend better than anypony else in the world. She was beginning to think that she did, with Dash here next to her. It was when Dash flew away that things would get hard again.
“It’s still a long week between letters, Dash. And when ponies are askin’ me ‘bout you and somepony in a tabloid-”
“Hold up, that was not my fault!” Dash cut in, anger clouding her face. “I didn’t even know the guy’s name! We were at a party, and he told a joke, and I toasted him. Then all of a sudden, camera flash, and we’re in the paper and I’m his new marefriend? That was so not fair! Soon as I saw it I knew you were gonna freak out.” The anger dropped, replaced by a dejected pout. “I’m so, so sorry, AJ, but there was nothing I could do.”
“I never believed it, sugarcube.” Applejack reached out and patted Dash’s foreleg. “And I never thought those magazine pictures meant you wanted to be messin’ round with other ponies. But you gotta remember that there are lots of other ponies thinkin’ ‘bout you, and they’re gonna make up stories ‘bout who you are. And maybe they don’t talk to you ‘bout it, but they talk to me.”
“I don’t want ponies making up stories about me either, but I can’t stop them,” Dash said with a shrug. “But that’s why I was so excited about doing those pictures with you. I was hoping I could do some stuff that gave them the right idea for once.”
Applejack drew her hoof back quickly and glared, wondering if she was wrong about really knowing Dash. “Rainbow Dash, how in Equestria do ya’ think takin’ sexy pictures so that ponies can look at me like that is gonna help ‘em stop lookin’ at you like that? Not to mention that you must’a lost your mind if ya’ think I’d ever-”
“What?!” Dash’s eyes went wide, then a grin started to cross her face, like she was trying not to laugh. “That’s what you thought I meant? No way, AJ. It's nothing like that. I promise. I talked to the guy, and I talked to the press manager for the team, and I explained stuff. They thought it was cool that I have an earth pony marefriend, and spend my time off on a farm. Ponies magazine was gonna do a little story on us, and the photographer was gonna come out and take some awesome pictures of us just hanging around the farm here. Nothing you wouldn't be proud to show to Granny Smith.”
“Really?” Applejack asked, amazed. While their communication skills needed a lot of work, Dash’s heart really had been in the right place.
“It would be awesome publicity for the farm,” Dash tempted her with a smirk.
Applejack grinned as her eyes lit up. “Darn right, it’s gonna be! Oh, me and Mac are gonna have to get things cleaned up! New coats of paint on everythin', prune all the trees right before. . .”
“They aren’t coming tomorrow.” Dash giggled. “You really thought I was gonna try to get you to take sexy pictures?”
Applejack blushed. “Well. . .”
Dash wrapped a foreleg around her and nuzzled next to her ear, then whispered, “AJ, if I thought I could get you to let somepony take pictures like that, I’d have them already.”
Applejack chuckled and didn’t push her away.
“So, I guess we aren’t broken up?” Dash asked softly.
Applejack still took a moment to consider. She considered the feeling and smell of Dash right next to her and the pain of those times when she was away. If it had just been that, the pain would have won. Dash was going to be gone more often than she’d be there. But there was something else, those hopes and dreams she’d lost when she sent that letter. Her heart felt full right now, and then some.
“No. No we ain’t. We can give this another shot.” Applejack said, wrapping her forelegs around Dash and completing the hug as a grin of pure happiness lit up Dash’s face. “I love you.”
She had never realized how much Dash gave her until she pushed her away, and she needed that like she needed her family and her farm. It brought tears to her eyes thinking that she’d nearly lost it, and that she now had a second chance. It would be hard, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that it was worth it. She buried her face in Dash’s shoulder to wipe the tears away.
“You're gonna get all sappy on me now?” Dash teased.
Applejack pulled away, still crying, but she smiled through the tears and punched Dash playfully in the shoulder. “Shut up, you. I had a rough few weeks.”
Dash laughed. “That's more like it. I love you, Applejack.” She leaned in and kissed AJ, and AJ wrapped her forelegs around Dash. They held each other for a long time, sometimes breaking the kiss to nuzzle each other and just enjoy the feeling of being safe and happy and together. But their lips always found their way back to another kiss.
After what somehow managed to be a both long and frustratingly short make out session, AJ noticed it was late afternoon. She broke their latest kiss and smiled.
“Come on, now. Let’s go tell the girls they can stop worryin’.”
Dash nodded. “Good idea. I wanted to see them too.” She smiled sadly. “I miss you guys.”
Applejack nodded and sighed as they got up, and started to walk back to town. “It’s gonna be a long time ‘til August.”
“Yeah, about that. . . I was thinking, AJ. I’m in Manehatten for a week, next month. Maybe you and the girls could come up. You have family there, you could visit with them and see the sights while I’m at practice, and I could bring you to parties, and you guys could all come watch me fly.” Dash grinned and flew over to AJ’s other side to demonstrate.
“Well that’s a great idea!” Applejack grinned back, then raised an eyebrow. “Ya’ know, I got family all over, Dash. Maybe it’s time I got a little more sociable with ‘em.”
“Family’s really important.” Dash smirked.
Applejack chuckled as she spotted an orange blur headed toward them from the other direction, moving quickly towards Sweet Apple Acres.
“Hi, Applejack! Hi Rainbow-” Scootaloo called, then she skidded to a stop. “Rainbow Dash!”
“Hey, squirt!” Dash said with a friendly smile.
Scootaloo just stared and moved her mouth, trying to form words.
“Uh, you okay?” Dash asked, raising an eyebrow as she flew over to the stunned pony and looked at her face.
As Dash got closer, Scootaloo’s cheeks turned bright red. “I- um, you- um, uh, I gotta go!”
Scoot started again towards Sweet Apple Acres even faster, trying to look over her shoulder at Dash in a way that AJ was sure was going to result in an unhealthy meeting with a fencepost. Applejack just chuckled as Dash’s face grew more confused.
“What’s up with her?”
Applejack smirked. “She gets Flyers Illustrated. For the articles.”
Dash’s face went from confusion to understanding to shock. “I, uh, really didn’t wanna know that.”
Applejack laughed. “Welcome to my life, sugarcube.”
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This should be a fun read.
Looks like you've done it again, Bookplayer. Yet another new, creative take on a concept that has been done to death by other writers (the done to death part being Dash and Applejack being split up by Dash being in the Wonderbolts). The story takes itself seriously but not so seriously that it's unrealistic. Bravo.
Aha!
I have been waiting eagerly for a couple days for this. Thank you for yet another - I assume beforehand - terrific work of AppleDash fiction.
The dead horse of the concept behind this fic has been ELECTRIFIED and lives once again! Excellent work.
I was a little iffy on a few paragraphs, but then again, I come from a poetry background, so I'm sort of inclined to flowery prose and shit. The really compelling bit was how it seemed very in-character for all those involved. Applejack's reaction was appropriately frustrated and begging for normalcy, Rainbow was casual and dismissive, it really felt in character, and I was impressed.
There's also a few punctuation issues in small spots that make it a bit of a tough read, but overall you did nicely and need more love.
I don't read non-humanized fics often anymore, but I'll make your stories an exception, Book. This was really swell.
Very lovely. A terrific take on the difficulty of communication and the breakdowns that can result in it when going through indirect channels, especially between two characters that aren't the best at expressing themselves through words. And for the record, I think you made the right choice in leaving the sad tag off.
Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts is a contention for pretty much romance story written including her (
). The expectation she has to leave at some point and spend extended periods of time away from her loved ones is a big sticking point which is rarely addressed.
This story is probably one of the sanest approaches to it. Let the characters communicate and talk it out. Eventually, Rainbow Dash has to return when things get messy and try to soothe things over. As a character, being forced to divide time between her loved ones and her dream is especially tricky. The resolution in this story is probably the most practical as well.
It's a good read.
Oh those silly, lovable ponies, I just want to hug them all 'till they beg for mercy. Especially the silliest, most lovable of them all:
PinkieScootaloo.A wonderful story Bookplayer. Greatly enjoyed, and deserving of a place on my Favorites list.
Keep up the wonderful tales.
2230138
I hope it is!
2230157
Thanks! I often find myself looking for different ways to tell old stories, I'm glad I made it interesting!
2230221
Thanks so much for giving it a chance! Especially since I'm the least poetic writer on this site, and commas are my nemesis (and no number of prereaders can tame them.) I'm so glad you found it compelling anyway, and thank you for the detailed comment.
2230334
Aww, thanks! I'll be writing you a humanized fic soon, so you don't get overloaded on ponies.
2230371
Thanks! Yeah, my prereaders voted unanimously against the Sad tag. I'm just a wimp, I guess.
2230386
Thanks!
I wish I'd been able to go more into Dash's side of things, but to me that just lessened the tension. Keeping it with AJ let me really go into what AJ was feeling, but you comment reminds me of my thoughts that the same story from Dash's POV would be just as interesting- Dash is dealing with new situations, being away from home, and all of a sudden (to her, wt least) this comes out of nowhere. But that's a maybe-someday story to tell.
2230417
Nope. As long as there are ponies in love, ponies will be dumb about it.
. . . at least, that how it works for people.
2230442
Scoot is Best Awkward Teenager Pony. Hooves down.
2230458
Thank you very much! I'll try!
I'm not a fan of AppleDash, but I'll say that this story is okay in my opinion. I didn't notice anything glaringly annoying about it. I do feel like the play on distance was actually quite great, although the whole "Wait, I got an idea!" phrase (and I mean the phrase itself) in Dash's letter did seem unnatural to me. It's a nice story; I can't say anything stronger than that. Sorry.
2230635
Great things? Really? Well, I'll do my best.
2230669
Thanks for reading it. Not every story is for everyone, and this may not be my masterpiece. But I appreciate you taking the time to look at it and comment, and I'm glad it was at least okay!
2230683 Anytime. And since you probably didn't read my review of Martian's "Dance" in the blog, I was wondering if I could do a blog-review of one of your stories I particularly enjoyed. If not, I'll leave a review of it in a comment.
2230704
You are absolutely welcome to review any of my stories, good or bad. I actually considered asking you to preread this one for me, but your last blog said you were busy with stuff.
Yeah... that "busy" thing somehow isn't keeping me away from poni poni poni. Well, I may have it done by the end of the night (PST). Off to it I go.
2230609 It is known.
Knew it was a matter of time before I saw this in the featured box. Well earned.
2230896
HUZZAH!
Fantastic and realistic. As per usually from you. Couldn't stop reading and I'm not even into Dash shipping.
oh scootaloo, i love that lil filly
Well, DAMN.
Psh, book player, the goddess that you are, you don't need my justification to know you knocked another one out of the park. So, don't mind me. I'll be sitting back here, just being jealous.
Promise you'll be like Dash, and won't forget all us little authors when you're big and famous?
2231068
I know, right? Heck, I still have a copy of the 1986 issue with Elle Macpherson on the cover stashed away somewhere. And as a horny, pre-internet teenage boy I read it for the articles too. Totally. /liarjack
I am most definitely adding this to my read later list!
Beautiful. Seriously, that was absolutely wonderful. I think I even teared up once or twice, and that's no easy feat.
Short read. Fun read. Emotional read. I laughed my flanks off at those last few lines...
This shirt describes my feelings about this fic perfectly:
welovefine.com/2794-7297-large/rd-so-many-feels.jpg
2230535
My favorite author is writing a humanized story? BEST DAY EVER!!!
Also, I really loved this story. Also, I had a better comment that I wanted to leave, but my keyboard is pretty broken, so this is all I can do for now. Expect a better one in a couple days.
Commence read.
AppleDash imminent.
i forgot to turn my view mature on and clicked this thinking it was a well made clopfic,
fool me once, shame on you.
Wow that was a fun read, great job man
The ending with Scootaloo was an incredibly funny way to end it
I'm not a huge fan of romance stories, and this story isn't an exception to that. I felt that Applejack was just too annoying of a character for me to really care about how the story resolved; not like the resolution was very hard to see coming in the first place. She also seemed a bit too emotional at some times, and threw logic right out the window at other times. There were some punctuation and spelling errors as well, and just a small amount of confusing passages.
That being said, the story isn't horrible, as there were indeed SOME good qualities to it. You did an exceptional job at keeping Applejack and Rainbow Dash in character (for the most part) and the way you handled a long-distance relationship between two ponies who aren't the best at expressing themselves to begin with.
Overall rating: 6/10
This needs a sad tag for all the angst that's in it, but it was well-made and I enjoyed it for the hurt.
oh my what did i just read
2231571
>Doesn't like romance
>Thinks character is over-emotional
>Thinks character should be more logical.
New theory. You don't like romance because you've no idea how romance works.
Not bad for a shipfic.
I like this. Well done dood.
....I really wanna know what happens when August rolls around....
Another fantasticly superb AppleDash from the all mighty Bookplayer. I absolutely loce these stories of yours and I can't wait to see more.
I haven't seen many people tackle this subject matter, at least not well. Lack of communication and intimacy, and uncertainty of the future make long distance relationships a tricky subject to write. But you nailed it. You addressed problems like separation anxiety and the break down of trust in a believable, compelling, and in character way. I can't say enough good things about your masterful characterization, and how much of Dash's character you were able to capture in those two short letters. With that said, as happy as I am to see them together, I'm not sure if the problem has really been resolved.
All of these same problems Applejack faced, she's going to face again, and she's going to face them over the course of years. She even acknowledges this, but continues on anyway. It seems like they're both making the exact same mistake they both made in the first place, leaning on old promises that they'll do better next time. It stinks of self delusion. Mostly, it feels like this story isn't finished yet. You stopped writing just as the real story began.
And that bit at the end with Scootaloo, I'll admit that it was funny, but it was random and out of place. It didn't fit the tone of the rest ending and ruined what would have a been a very sweet, if somewhat unsatisfying, resolution.
That seemed very negative. I'll say this: you kept me reading from straight to finish, and you got me thinking after it ended. I'm not sure if I can ask for much more from an author.
yes
2232160
I came here to comment, but this said pretty much everything I wanted to, and more.
So, thanks for that.
Excellent work!
I adore the characterization, everypony felt spot on. Poor AJ
, I felt all of your feels.
Congrats on a well deserved feature.
2230896>>2230920
Thanks, you guys.
2231063
I'm glad I could make it interesting! Thank you!
2231160
You stop that. I do not need to be getting a big head.
But seriously, I'm so glad you liked this one, you were one of the folks I had in mind as I was writing it. I thought to myself, BronyNeumo likes some good angst in with his AppleDash. I hope he likes this!
2231197
Aww, thanks! I'm glad I could really make you feel it.
2231233
Thanks!
2231291
Aw, thanks.
2231297
It'll be set in Merc/Peregrine Caged/JJ Gingerhooves Heistverse (between Fool's Luck and Diamond in the Rough.) It's one of my very next projects.
2231508
Thank you!
2231571
I'm glad you enjoyed it somewhat. I hope I'll do better next time.
2231675
Oh, the Sad tag. I went back and forth on that so much. I polled all my prereaders, I had a long discussion on my blog about what the Sad tag means to people. In the end, I still couldn't figure it out. I'm sorry if you got angst you weren't looking for, but I'm glad you were able to enjoy it anyway.
2231852
Aww, thanks!
This story was VERY well-done.
It's not often when I'm in the middle of a story and have to take a momentary step back because my feels have been punched in the gut. I can think of only two others in recent memory.
Also, Pinkie's my favorite pony, and what little time she's on screen for is pretty much why.
And that ending was hysterical. I was really expecting this to be a much more lighthearted fic than it was, but I'm glad you went this way. It was really good.
Verdict: Loved the whole thing, start to finish!
I really like how you tackled the long distance relationship thing - most fics I read either don't address it or have Dash give up being a Wonderbolt to stay with AJ. Which is cool, relationships require compromise and all that, but I just feel that if Dash had to quit before she could achieve her dream there might be some lingering resentment, even if she didn't want to feel it. The "what ifs" and all that jazz.
Also, this was adorable. All I could think of when Pinkie was talking about cupcakes was: I'll get her a cupcake - b****es love cupcakes! Oh, and leaving the sad tag off was a good idea - I would've assumed a non-get-back-together ending if there had been one. All in all, thanks for another great read
2231949
Thanks!
2231954
Thanks! I'm probably not going to get around to a sequel, though.
2232099
Thank you. I'm always working on more stories.
i need that pic of wet dash...for science...