• Member Since 17th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 1st, 2015

Sectus


I am a fanfiction writer, mainly based off of the website newgrounds.com. I hope you will enjoy my work as much as I do writing it.

Comments ( 46 )

um DA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
did i just read :rainbowderp: and first and if im wrong Crap

What...Well, I liked it....so....:moustache:

Poor Spike, never gets a break.

Clean Version MY Royal Canterlot ASS

1928408 I did my best to snip out the offensive or 'sexual' bits. Sorry if I missed too much.

I'm not saying it wasn't. i was just expected the details of spikes story to change i guess, like maybe playing the suave talker. Like talking up the Beauty of each character as apose to whatever his story initaly entailed.

Right now, I'm pretty angry at select ponies. Namely Twilight, Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Rarity. They have no right to get mad at Spike for doing something he enjoys, something that every organism on God's beautiful earth is hard-wired for. It was an unfortunate accident that Twi read his fiction in front of a crowd but, as Spike said in your very story, that was more her fault than his. It's understandable that it would make them a little uncomfortable, but becoming resentful toward him for his private thoughts? Not okay at all.

What is essentially happening here is, ponies are getting mad at Spike for engaging in a hobby that he intended to keep to himself. Does Equestria prohibit sexual satisfaction? Even Spike's closest friends are acting out of character, since they're basically refusing to accept something that makes him happy and are frowning on a part of who he is. Twilight was pretty horrible in the end for obvious reasons, but Rarity was especially insensitive. She knows how Spike feels about her, yet didn't seem to realize how much damage she could do by being so cold toward him. The only reason that encounter didn't tear his heart halfway through is partly because he's a very optimistic guy, but mostly because you, the author, thought her attitude was justified.

What Spike should do is just leave Ponyville. It's obvious his friends can't accept who he is or what he enjoys, which means they are not true friends. This should probably be an AU fanfic, since it both cheapens the bond the ponies share with Spike and goes against the show's message: that friendship overcomes any and all obstacles...not that this should've ever been an obstacle to begin with.

1928698 I'm sorry you were unhappy with the story. Honestly it was just intended for comedic effect, and it isn't one of my more serious pieces. I hope you will still read my future submissions when I release them. Thank you for your comment!

aww poor spike but Rainbow Dash was awesome :pinkiehappy::yay:

1928698
Aye. Just think of Twilight's letter:

"Dear Princess Celestia,
I like punishing my ward for my own mistakes!

Twilight Sparkle"

Special points go to AJ for this:
"Well next time, try thinkin' about how other ponyfolk are gonna react to somethin' before ya actually go n' do it."

All he did was write. To himself. What do you care?

Liked it but srsly Rarity? Da hell?

Applejack would never be sarcastic. :ajbemused:

Also as everyone else has so glady pointed out the ponies are seriously OC here and for all the wrong reasons. It's Twilight's fault not Spike's. :facehoof:

Still nice job. :eeyup:

1928408 Yeah you didn't censor the title or what Rainbow Dash was going to suggest. :twilightoops:

1928927 Well, it was just a comedy fanfiction and wasn't ever meant to be taken seriously. Also, if you had read Friendship is Sexy, you would understand exactly why the others were upset.

Either way, thank you for reading my fanfiction, and I hope you'll read my future submissions!

And then Applebloom gets away with punching out a dragon in broad daylight. Huh.

Next Chapter, Spike Runs away or kills himself.

Lmao! Poor Spike all that for a bath which by the way made me die of laughter. Nice Work!

1930452 Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! :pinkiegasp:

1928787 S'cool. It still paints a pretty ugly picture, but it's nice to know you weren't writing it seriously.

Spike should become the Jiraiya of Equestria :moustache:

he should send a copy to Celestia for the lulz :trollestia:

Man, spike's so-called "friends" are just not okay with him having daydreams. Like Swashbucketlist said, they hate him for private thoughts that he is decent enough to keep to himself. I can see its a comedy and played for laughs but after Twilight accidentally reads his porn there's really nothing to laugh at. Just Spike getting hurt and abused by ponies he once trusted as friends. Is that what's supposed to be funny?:ajbemused: I'm not laughing. I'm tempted to make a sequel for Spike's revenge that picks up right where this left off. Twilight's the one who embarrassed Spike by reading his porn and then punished him worse than the others did for her own mistake, screaming at him and then making him think his fantasy was about to come true just to cockblock him.:fluttercry: He should punch her in the face and leave her bleeding on the floor. you know what would also make a good letter to the princess, twilight? Everything you still have to learn about friendship.

I wrote it with the intention of making aomething adult and explicit like FiS and turning it to the humor that an FiM episode would use if they had to feature the subject. :pinkiegasp:

Comment posted by Sectus deleted Jan 9th, 2013
CIA

Didn't twilight have the choice to stop reading at all?
Ponies......these ponies are irrational man. Wasn't it said that you respects ones privacy, even their work?
If so then they really should apologise to spike for outright screwing him over for twilight a mistake of reading it. Out loud. To all of ponyville.
i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/010/277/genius-meme.png
A sequel would be nice.

great story... love that AJ was the only reasonable one. although Twilight seemed ok by the end of the day. I think her yelling at spike was just an inital reaction brought on by embarisment of her reading it out loud.Rarity seemed like a bitch but if you read between the lines when Spike ran from the botique she sounded concerned, I believe she was just mad that Spike thought of them all that way, although she can be a bit mean. The only one I found COMPLETLY unexcuseable was Applebloom, and I hope she got scolded when she got home. And what's with angel acting out all the parts?

1938353 Thank you for the comment, I really appreciate it! I'm glad you enjoyed my characters. Applebloom's reaction was mostly for humor, but I based it off of the fact that she would have an irrational reaction. Whether or not she got scolded after hurting Spike is up to the reader. :derpytongue2:

Now I shall read friendship is sexy IMMEDIATELY.:rainbowlaugh:

it was alright... makes me want to write a story like this... but one where he actually gets some... maybe... I duno...

nosy ponies need to get out of others business:ajbemused:

1965450 The purpose of this story was to make fun of clopfics. By writing a sequel where he gets laid, you would be missing the point entirely. :trixieshiftright:

1938353

I know this comment is several weeks old, but how is AJ being reasonable? At all?

She yells at him for not thinking of how others would react to what he was writing. Which he intended to keep completely private, and make sure no one else saw it.

AJ was just as stupid as everyone else in this fic seemed to be.

Comment posted by Still Wearing Black deleted Mar 8th, 2013

1938353 Adding to what TheArchive has to say, Twilight wasn't "ok" by the end of this story either. She hurt Spike more than anyone else by making him think she was comfortable with his fantasies and that they were about to come true. She, his closest and most trustworthy friend, betrayed his trust. It was an extremely low blow. After her tirade, her actions in the end were equal to rubbing salt in his wounds and kicking him while he was down just for good measure. All because she made a mistake and didn't like the side of her friend her mistake revealed. At that point in the story, she was basically conditioning him to associate sexual fantasies with feelings of pain and betrayal. She was almost worse than Apple Bloom.

I'm just sitting here, trying to understand why people are submitting in-depth and serious reviews of a parody / comedy fiction. :facehoof:

Co-author here.

This fic wasn't really meant to be taken seriously. We just wanted to make fun of clopfics like Friendship is Sexy.

Lighten up a smidge. :twilightsmile:

2237073 That would be because no one saw it as a comedy. And that is probably because it didn't make those of us laugh. It's just a story in which all the characters are being stupid and/or being complete jerks to Spike. No real humor. Maybe Pinkie Pie's scene was funny, but that's it.

A shame, really. A couple of tweaks here and there, a new/extended ending, remove/change that epilogue… This could have been a marvelous sadfic. Inspiration gnawed me into submission—forgive me the following.


"Bath time!" Twilight exclaimed, a smug grin plastered on her face.

Ice-water dripped languidly down Spike's scales. Already, he could feel the chill of it seeping in, the metal of the bucket against his back lancing him through. Still, his eyes felt hot. "Why?" he managed, barely above a whisper.

"Because, young drake," Twilight said, now staring hard down her snout at him, "you need a lesson in how to control your urges."

Spike tried to pull himself out of the bucket, managing only to trip over the edge and fall to the floor, the bucket itself following suit. Twilight backed up instinctively as cold water spilled out around her hooves. Spike scrambled to his feet. "Why?" he repeated, all but a pained moan.

Twilight searched Spike's expression as though trying to glean his meaning from it. Her eyes widened as they met the bruise on her assistant's jaw, almost hidden beneath the thin, purple scales of his face. "Spike…" she began, sounding almost fearful. "What happened today?"

The little dragon's nostrils flared. "What happened today?" Pitiful cracking belied his anger. "What happened today? You happened!" His jaw clenched shut. His eyes. His fists. His whole self seemed to be curling up.

Twilight held up a hoof and moved it towards Spike's shoulder, but just before she could reach it, his head snapped back and his arms flew outwards. Before she had even the time to retract her hoof, Spike was shouting.

Spike was screaming.

It was a primal thing. He was roaring at her—warning her to leave, begging her to run, asking her to die. One awful, glorious, guttural sound…

It ended.

The dragon was staring up at the ceiling, expression blank. Tears streamed down the sides of his face and past his neck plates, dripping into the lukewarm puddle at his feet.

Twilight knew deep down that she didn't know how to react. But she still tried. "Spike?" she squeaked. Spike angled his head back down to look into her eyes. They were unreadable to her, but the tears hadn't stopped coming. She couldn't think of anything further.

A while spent simply staring at one another.

"I'll be in bed," Spike uttered. He began walking towards the stairs.

As he passed her, Twilight reached a hoof to her ward's shoulder again, this time making contact. He didn't recoil, but he didn't hesitate, either. He was halfway up the staircase when she finally managed, "H-have a good sleep."

This story has been reviewed by The Equestrian Critics Society

Story Title: Friendship Isn’t Exactly All That Sexual

Author: Sectus

Reviewed by: Errant

Good characterization doesn’t outweigh this story’s other faults. While it won’t make a reader wish for a refund of the time spent reading it, it also isn’t especially noteworthy. Summarily said, this piece of comedy commits the ultimate sin for its kind: it isn’t all that fun to read.

Full Review

Score: 4.5/10

i am ultimately confused as to how i should feel about this but damn spike you dun goofed son:rainbowlaugh:

Sweet story and cool ending. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

2315135 Ikr they were all being complete dicks to spike

Comedy sans comedy, and I am a easy guy to get to laugh from.

Login or register to comment