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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/061/7/f/picture_unrelated_by_madnessabe-d4rhxp9.jpg
1782453 i have removed the pic, because you didn't like it.
any other things i should do?
1782491 What do you mean, I didn't like it?
1782502 you said unrelated.
how it shouldn't, is basically a TwiLuna...
1782507 Are you saying that you didn't like it because its unrelated?
did you meant something else?
please explain
I'm... not sure I want to read this. I'm guessing English isn't your first language, so I have to ask, do you have someone editing for you? I'm sorry, but if the language alone is driving me nuts for the whole story I just won't wind up enjoying it.
Kinky.
1782577 I have someone edting the formatting,and yes, i'm not english at all.
You did not understand something? PM me :)
1782582 What do you mean by " Kinky " ?
1782610 It's kinky.
1782622 And you have not even read the real Kinky chapter!
1782627 Oh my.
google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=https://static.prtst.net/asset-proxy/e8020ebf29863456e6d9c644d26f750eca141246/687474703a2f2f332e62702e626c6f6773706f742e636f6d2f5f77596b664b45456d6745672f53354b4c696247314642492f414141414141414142596b2f31553631414230715770512f733634302f4925323063616d652e6a7067/http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_wYkfKEEmgEg/S5KLibG1FBI/AAAAAAAABYk/1U61AB0qWpQ/s640/I%20came.jpg&sa=X&ei=ZZ3HUN--JK7viQLQiYCQCg&ved=0CAkQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFhYYuMeO8Qt5TzWvWSJddbjZNdTw
don't post that again
hoiwever, i'm not kidding, you might get burned in chapter two
1782659
I doubt it.
Regidar has the stamina of a racehorse on viagra. It's hard to find a clopfic he hasn't read.
1782888 If you say so XD .
Now for the important question: did you like the first chapter?
1782947
Si. Mucho bueno mi amigo. La ficcion es muy guapo.
Yes. Very good my friend. The fiction is very handsome.
(But a bit rushed)
1782996 is not so rushed.
I would make you shiver if i say what is waiting in my head, waiting for a form in words...
1783022
Don't underestimate people like me and Regi. We've seen things that would break most people.
Sounds interesting
1783149
Do your worst.
i will try, however i will do two versions of the chapters: one with the best clop that i can imagine along with the plot and one version story-only
I was really hoping for some real clop moments, but the first chapter was a bit of a let-down.
You are going to get into detail just what happened that night, right? RIGHT!? (Please say yes, please say yes...)
Hmmm, I'm not so sure about this, but I always trust 1782637 , I will read later.
1782599 Alright, I'll give it a whirl then. I'm glad you have someone editing. I've nothing against taking a crack at writing in a language you're not as familiar with, but a lot of people do so and then don't have it edited, which can be frustrating to read. I'll get back to you once I finish reading.
Edit: Well. Good premise, but it feels kinda rushed. Also, definitely needs more editing. It wasn't so bad as to be painful to read, but it could certainly improve a lot with more time spent editing. You may want to ask a couple people to do pre-reading for you, and take the extra time to clean the chapter up before putting it out.
1785411 The other chapter will be really cloppy, so wait :)
and READ.AUTHOR .NOTES :)
1787005 Author's notes... I probably should have looked at those first before saying anything. Oops.
1787509 do not worry
Awesome... Awesome... Awesome...
-pulls out a folding chair, sits on the chair- Yea I'm going to wait for the next chapter!
I am making this story at least readable for you, My Little Ponies.
Heart 97 has an idea, but the formatting needs to be a bit polished and edited.
Enjoy your... clop
1795437 he is right!
I think the plot and i write it, then he cleans formatting and do some edits
Wow, some night these ponies had.
...I wish I was there.
I dunno... I think it needs like... 20% more clop!
1798008 Indeed. I miss a good clop.
1796722 Lol
1782453 easy they wanted to have a threesome with fluttershy but the officers caught them and they were like but ya they tryed to f each other but almost fail
"Ahem... After drinking some cider I flew upside down for three or four minutes. Then, I found Soarin' that was criticizing me for not being able to fly like them.”
"What have you done then, dear?” said Rarity with curiosity.
"Well... I punched him on his dirty cheek and i sat with my flanks over his face, ordering him to lick the hole. Let me say this, he was pretty expert, ahaha!”
dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmqmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm didnt know dash was a fucking bitch about sex and also wats with all the lesbo stuff still good i give out of
twiliht and luna.....oh dear my house is going to be fooded by me going "i came" after reading this.....im going to enjoy this passionately (jk im stilll gonna enjoy reading it)
OOOOHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH
MY BONER JUST REACHED A UNIVERSE OF EQUESTRIA 5 BILLION LIGHT YEARS AWAY RIGHT INTO LUNAS PLOT!!!!
THIS WAS UTTER FANSERVICE FOR ME!!!
HOLY CRAP NUGGETS IN A SHIT BISCUT I LOVE THIS!!!
and no im not messed up luna is my favorite character..... which means this is heaven
my life would be complete if i woke up next to luna and twilight...them staring at me when i wake up going..."ello sweetie"
that would make my life complete....hell yeah
and if that situation was in the bed both luna and twilight woke up in...that same day
An Editor is needed here, for minor things and such. other than that statement it is going pretty nicely plot wise from my point of view as the reader.
This guy here has talent, he knows what he's writing. I'm trying to edit this story, removing basic errors and misspellings or sometimes serious grammar mistakes.
But my English is not the most perfect in all of Equestria, but being Polish I think it's good enough to help making this story readable for all of you, folks.
I love to be the one responsible for editing this story. I'm improving my English a lot by that. I'm trying my best.
good job, I doth enjoy this tale
CLIFFHANGERS!!
Tis a good story, HOWEVER
I believe that your characterizations of Pinkie Pie and Applejack were a bit off.
Pinkie would have probably have given them a "Happy Couple party"
And Applejack is usually the odd one out in these situations.
Good story, but needs work.
1828098 thanks for the idea for one of the endings, I think that it could work.
Ah, and thanks for reading my story, really
1827872 That's a relly small eufemism