Pipsqueak the Valiant's Adventure Journal!

by Casca

Vol. 2 Epilogue

It was a beautiful sunny day. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and ponies were out to work and play, quite often both at the same time.

In the stuffy, curtain-shaded confines of her office, guided by the light of a candle, Mayor Mare wrote.

XX October, XXX

It has been two weeks since our return to Ponyville. A sufficient amount of time has passed for the dust to settle and for the haze to clear; though I do not make a habit of it, this event is worth noting on paper.

According to Pipsqueak’s diary, we left Maretopia on the 36th Honesty, which is the XX of October in the same year. That places my meeting with Copper Mast on the night of the 35th Honesty, the XX of October, the conclusion of which being the deal: for granting us passage to Eastside Port, I will grant him directions and papers for legal passage to Ponyville in seven years. An additional payment of 2000 remii was made for the toll at the Il’yashamine Passage, which allowed us to traverse the five-day-journey distance within a day. While the location of t

The crumpled failure joined its brethren on the floor, which had been surprisingly clean despite being left derelict for the past Celestia-knew-how-long. She suspected Twilight Sparkle was the cause. Mayor Mare ran her hoof down the jagged remnant of the page in her notebook, feeling the thick, pulpy paper brush against it.

She wanted to make a memoir of her little journey with Pipsqueak. Adventure, to be precise. But the words weren’t coming out right. That had been too dry; the last few attempts had been overladen with details, the burdens of the successors in the series only marginally lightened than their predecessors. She just couldn’t quite capture the vivid surreality of it all. It was so far removed now that it felt more and more like a dream as she pried open her memory, grasping at wisps of scenes.

Then again, she mused, few other ponies had bothered with such an endeavour; those who had the right to write didn’t think much of it, and those who were fascinated obviously had never tried it before. In all her years as mayor, she had never come across books on Maretopia. Just as well; heaven forbid that anypony might read them and be intrigued enough to want to go there.

She checked the grave black-and-white clock hanging above the fireplace. An hour and a half had passed. Time for a break.

She placed the notebook to the side, returned her quill to its stand, capped the ink bottle, and gave her schedule a long, hard look. There were two or three businesses which she was to inspect before sunset, plenty of paperwork to deal with, and that was not including the backlog that had piled up in her absence. It was not as tall as it should have been, thanks to Twilight Sparkle taking on the Princess-appointed mantle of Acting Mayor, but there were still bits and pieces of it. Most involved the approval of loans of considerably large sums of money which the treasury did not have. But of course Twilight wouldn’t have approved it; she wasn’t as open as Mayor Mare to the idea of credit.

Speaking of credit...

She opened her notebook at the back and scrawled, in large letters that covered the whole page, “XX-8-XXX: COPPER MAST’S RETURN”. Mayor Mare didn't trust her memory these days. She was, admittedly, old. That was simply how she was now. No reason to fret or fuss or frown.

Then she turned back to her schedule, and perused it with a fraction more interest.

“Loan. Loan. Loan,” muttered Mayor Mare, dragging her hoof down the list. “Inspection, loan, inspection...”

She could not help but wonder what kind of company Ferriham was working for, and what kind of education Gilda was getting. There were schools in Maretopia, the same way water was served in restaurants. You assumed it in good faith, and got this uniquely profound disappointment when proven otherwise.

Not that it mattered. She wouldn’t see either of them ever again. Same with the shopkeeper in Sector 14, Clack the dragonfire clerk, the stallion at the casino counter who had the face of a Joe. Something Joe, or Joe Something.

She circled a few of the easier inspections, closed her eyes, remembered faintly the names of the owners, and nodded to herself. Life moved on. It was the best approach she could take with this kind of situation. It was all about the approach.

Approach, mused Mayor Mare.

Beforeshe left, she opened the bottom drawer, gave the dice a roll, and smirked dryly at the mediocre result. She returned to her notebook for a brief moment.

She needed to take the right approach. Obviously her current approach wasn't working for her. Perhaps somepony else's would.

Her next appointment was in five minutes. She didn't have time, but she wrote down the beginning anyways, in her spidery, half-cursive writing, before rushing out the door to plunge herself back into life:

Dear Adventure Journal,

---

39th Honesty, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

It’s been really busy the past few days. We’re finally home and I can write in you properly! But I have to stick the new pages in you too. I hope the glue keeps. Glue didn’t work very well in Trottingham but it seems to be better here. It’s a pity that I didn’t bring any of the journals from my trip with Jangle and his friends, but it’s okay. Apart from the griffon attack nothing special really happened.

I can’t believe I was asleep for the trip although I remember the friendly captain friend! He looked a lot like me with a brown patch on his eye too, and his crewmates were all seasoned sailors with bits of them missing like manes or teeth. And the ship had my name which was super cool too!! Maybe I should name my ship after him to return the favour, when I get one.

The past few days a lot of ponies have been talking to me and it’s kinda tiring now. I can’t say anything, because when I woke up in Eastside Port Princess Luna made me sailor swear to keep our adventure a secret. I couldn’t let anypony know about it, because the adventure is a top secret mission that could put ponies’ lives in danger! I’m a good pony so I definitely wouldn’t, so I promised her. But all these ponies keep on asking me how’s it like and I keep on telling them “I can’t tell you because I promised”, and they asked me who I promised to and I tole them “I can’t tell” because that’s part of the promise too, I can’t mention Mayor Mare, although everypony knows that Mayor Mare went looking for me too.

A lot of the adult mares gave me presents like carrots and cakes. Pinkie Pie threw me a welcome back party but it was really loud and I got dizzy halfway through so I had to take a break outside. Mayor Mare says that I’m not used to “high frequency proximity”, whatever that means, although I guess it means I’m not good at parties or places with lotsa ponies.

Mummy was really happy to see me but in a quiet way. She just hugged me for a really long time until I got pins and needles, and then I tole her because those are really annoying. Then we had a lot of my favourite seaweed-and-shellfish soup! She must have been lucky because last time she tole me that seaweed is hard to get in Ponyville because there’s no sea around.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were really excited and wanted to hear all about it but were kinda disappointed I didn’t find my cutie mark, but I tole them it was super adventure fun so that was okay. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laugh at me a lot but privately and to each other and I don’t care. Snails and Snips brag about adventures that I think they didn’t actually have. But the good thing is that now I’m good friends with Dinky! I think. Because when she saw me she ran into me and hugged me like she was about to cry, and kept saying “I’m sorry” and I asked her what for and she wouldn’t say, but then I said I’m okay and I tole her I missed her, which is the truth, and everypony else too but I think she missed the last bit. She didn’t hug me again after that which is good because hugs are icky and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would sing that annoying me-and-filly-in-a-tree song, but it’s also good that she hugged me I guess because it means we’re friends. So now we’re proper friends instead of awkward almost-friends.

I have a lot of homework to do with is going to be a pain but Miss Cheerilee says it’s okay, she’s sure I can manage it, as long as I do extra sessions after normal class. I gotta try or else I won’t have time to play Sail Ship ever, and that’s crazy!

It’s been such a long adventure and it’s been so much fun, but I think I like it best back home. I’ve got friends to play with and a school to study in and Mummy at home and Mayor Mare to have our special secret with, and I’m really really happy. And when I grow up, I’ll get my cutie mark in sailing and exploring, and I’ll find Daddy and we’ll have more amazing adventures together, Mummy and Daddy and Daddy’s friend Jangle and my friends and even Mayor Mare.

Author's Note:

I'd like to take the time to acknowledge RogerDodger for organizing the Write-Offs. Volume 1 was written for the first ever write-off, and without it, none of this would exist. I would also like to strongly plug this - give that account a follow and that website a tracker! Writing with constraints is a good way to improve the craft and actually get work, well, done.

Thanks to all who commented on it during the write-off, too - while I knew what the spirit of the story is, you helped me remember it when I was deep in Volume 2.

I thank Jmozziel a.k.a LunarShadow for reviewing Volume 1 and the front half of Volume 2. He's the reason why Vol. 2 is a lot more readable than it originally was.

I also thank Rodinga for reviewing Volume 2, and generally convincing me it was a good idea to go on.

I sincerely thank all of you who've commented, followed this, fav'd, everything. The notifications you guys send my way make my day just a little brighter, and keep me mulling on Pipsqueak for that much longer. I hope you enjoyed it; thank you for telling me that you did/did not.

This used to be a paragraph full of pretension. It isn't anymore. What I will say, though, is - thank goodness for kindness in the world. There's still enough to go around, as long as we're willing to share.

I did an interview with the Royal Canterlot Library. Check it out for some post-production goodness and discussion.

Au revoir, good readers: may you be able to find adventure in all your days. With a bit of simple wonder, it isn't hard.

Comments

[Djerid]

well this is a fitting end to a decent story.

i hope there is no sequel to ruin it.

[PresentPerfect]

Whereas I want more and hope for a volume 3. :D You set up so much awesome stuff!

Edit notes: there's a "Beforeshe" and a bunch of X's that I think are meant to be dates. :B

[Firebirdbtops]

The trip home actually happened with much less fuss than I anticipated. I look forwards to the rest of this tale.

[Casca]

2201889

strange magic

Maaaybe. ;)

2219043
Heh, thank you kindly!

[NaiKujibo]

It was definitely interesting to see the difference between the innocence of Pipsqueak and the cold hard reality of Mayor Mare. I'm looking forward to the next set of stories.

[Siegfried]

I must thank for writing this fic. It's witty, endearing, adventurous and lighthearted; and doesn't try to be needlessly 'edgy' for the sake of shock factor unlike many MLP fic's I've stumbled across. It's also one of the few fics that actually tread the character of Pipsqueak well and gives him gives him a little bit of respect. Perhaps that is subjective to me; but so be it.

I consider Pipsqueak the Valiants Adventure Journal a underrated fic that unfortunately need's more views.

[Casca]

3336062
Thank you kindly for the praise! I'm glad you like it, and it means quite a bit that you found it nice enough to comment on.

[Mayhem Darkshadow]

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

Adorable

[Casca]

3607540
Gosh, thanks! This is a nice thing to wake up to in the morning Glad you enjoyed it!

[PresentPerfect]

Waitwait...

Is this story done now? c.c

[Casca]

4556118
Until I finish the final volume (which will not be in forever) I guess so =x

[PresentPerfect]

4556192
Ohh, okay. :O

ps: do that plzkthx

[Batbrony]

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Pipsqueak the Valiants Adventure Journal

Grammar score out of 10: 10

Pros
Intriguing and surprisingly gripping storytelling

Excellent work capturing Pipsqueak's mannerisms and personality

Superb worldbuilding, especially with original settings

Cons
Maretopia plot-thread far less slice-of-life than traditional adventure

Pipsqueak seemed to really take everything in stride, unnaturally so at times, though that might just be author's interpretation of his innocent personality

Mayor Mare interludes could be distracting at times, though they served a valuable purpose

Notes Section
Well, well, well, I gotta say this was a surprising gem to stumble upon. I've never read a fic starring Pipsqueak as the protagonist (nor Mayor Mare as the deuteragonist), but I gotta say you set up an intriguing premise and ran with it to your hearts content. These are my favorite types of fanfiction, the ones that take characters on the show whom we don't see or know that much about, and show just what exactly you can do with them. It's a reason fics like "The Life and Times of a Winning Pony" are among my favorite on Fimfiction, and also a reason why I myself have stuck with Derpy Hooves as the star of my only fic to date. That's not to say that fanfics starring the main characters of MLP can't be great, I've read plenty that are, but I just think that authors are afforded more creative opportunities with fics like this, and this fic is a perfect example of that.

With a character like Pipsqueak, not only were you able to show familiar settings like Ponyville from his POV, but you were able to craft all sorts of original backstory and locales without the fic ever feeling like this didn't belong in MLP, primarily because, again, we haven't seen much of Pipsqueak. From Trottingham to Maretopia, you crafted an intriguing version of the world Equestria inhabits somewhat similar to others I've encountered in fanfiction, albeit this one was bleaker than most, with Equestria as a rare gem it would seem. Still, I do like the idea of the world around Equestria being a lot rougher cut and scarier, always have, and so this was a treat to read in that regard.

I guess my only complaint would be that the Mayor Mare subplot was a bit distracting at times and kinda wrapped up very suddenly, at least concerning her gambling past. We learned hardly anything about Fair Weather and surprisingly little about her past even other than she was a high-stakes gambler once in Maretopia, but harder for me to swallow was how it would butt in every now and then right after we'd read more about Pipsqueak's own experiences. Don't get me wrong, her chapters were valuable narratively, I understand why you had them here, plus it was impressive how you were able to switch from a 1st person POV to a third person POV, and between completely different characters no less, just like that. I just found myself enjoying Pipsqueak's naive and innocent POV so much some times that it was just unpleasant, even if, again, it was necessary, having to switch back to Mayor Mare's much more knowledgeable and learned POV where it was a lot easier to determine what was going on and what adults motivations were.

Still though, this was a delightful fic, and working in these two characters very separate plot threads was impressive and fun to read through at the same time. I would love to see more from you in the future concerning Pipsqueak, and definitely plan on checking out more of your work to be sure. It's a shame this hasn't seen more exposure, and quite surprising as well considering the high accolades it's received from both EQD and Twilight's Library. We need more fics like this, ones which experiment in fun and imaginative ways with the characters and setting of the MLP universe. Wonderful work sir, and once again, thank you very much for the supremely enjoyable read!

Final Score: 9.5/10

Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Batmare Begins

[horizon]

Stumbled across this via an offhand mention from 4557442, and ... wow. This is just adorable and epic and ... hm ... big in the ways it needs to be and small in the ways that ground it. Pip's voicing is remarkable and Mayor Mare's character is unexpectedly epic, and I don't think I even mind that you've got Equestria sharing a planet with a techno-dystopia, because as deeply weird as the juxtaposition is, this was never less than engrossing.

Thank you for it.

[horizon]

... Uh, but seriously, though:

How is this not tagged [Adventure]?

[Casca]

6426512
6426546
Heyas - thank you for the read, the library add, and the kind comments! =) I'm glad you liked it.

The tagging is a bit of mischief, I guess - the idea going in was an adventure veiled as a SoL, and to temper (subvert?) reader expectations I kept it at just that. =P V1 is still about 5k words of daily life, after all.

[TheJediMasterEd]

Pipsqueak's narrative voice reminds very much of Lord Dunsany's "The Pirates of the Round Pond."

In fact, Dunsany's pretty good with straight-up pirate stories too: I strongly recommend A Tale of Land and Sea and its sequel, "The Loot of Bombasharna."

(In my mind, Jack Sparrow will always be the son of Captain Shard and the Queen of the South).

Very enjoyable--thank you!

[Casca]

6700270
Thank you, and I'm glad you liked it! I'll pay attention to the name for when I go book-shopping next - see if I can't add a piece of his to my collection

[Casca]

6716709
One of my favorite parts. Hope you enjoy the rest of it, and thanks for commenting =)

[CrystalWaters]

A question occurs that I didn't ask before:
At the Dragonmail Centre in Maretopia, was the "patch of diamond-shaped white, bare skin" on the chimera's side meant to be where a cutie-mark was or should have been? If so, then

6717481

A wonderful tale.
I suspect I'll be both happy and sad when it comes to an end.

And here we are.
No sorrow, only pleasure at a well-deserved happy ending.

I'm reminded of classic adventure stories I've read where the protagonist returns home and goes back to their previous life, not quite understanding why such a fuss has been made about their return.

[Casca]

6717564

At the Dragonmail Centre in Maretopia, was the "patch of diamond-shaped white, bare skin" on the chimera's side meant to be where a cutie-mark was or should have been?

yes

I'm glad you liked the ending. I love ones with maximum satisfaction, and I tried to go for a really wholesome-feeling one with this. Thanks so much for your comments and for reading!

[Casca]

6773464
Thanks! Hope you like Volume 2 =)