Pipsqueak the Valiant's Adventure Journal!

by Casca


Vol. 2 Epilogue

It was a beautiful sunny day. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and ponies were out to work and play, quite often both at the same time.

In the stuffy, curtain-shaded confines of her office, guided by the light of a candle, Mayor Mare wrote.

XX October, XXX

It has been two weeks since our return to Ponyville. A sufficient amount of time has passed for the dust to settle and for the haze to clear; though I do not make a habit of it, this event is worth noting on paper.

According to Pipsqueak’s diary, we left Maretopia on the 36th Honesty, which is the XX of October in the same year. That places my meeting with Copper Mast on the night of the 35th Honesty, the XX of October, the conclusion of which being the deal: for granting us passage to Eastside Port, I will grant him directions and papers for legal passage to Ponyville in seven years. An additional payment of 2000 remii was made for the toll at the Il’yashamine Passage, which allowed us to traverse the five-day-journey distance within a day. While the location of t

The crumpled failure joined its brethren on the floor, which had been surprisingly clean despite being left derelict for the past Celestia-knew-how-long. She suspected Twilight Sparkle was the cause. Mayor Mare ran her hoof down the jagged remnant of the page in her notebook, feeling the thick, pulpy paper brush against it.

She wanted to make a memoir of her little journey with Pipsqueak. Adventure, to be precise. But the words weren’t coming out right. That had been too dry; the last few attempts had been overladen with details, the burdens of the successors in the series only marginally lightened than their predecessors. She just couldn’t quite capture the vivid surreality of it all. It was so far removed now that it felt more and more like a dream as she pried open her memory, grasping at wisps of scenes.

Then again, she mused, few other ponies had bothered with such an endeavour; those who had the right to write didn’t think much of it, and those who were fascinated obviously had never tried it before. In all her years as mayor, she had never come across books on Maretopia. Just as well; heaven forbid that anypony might read them and be intrigued enough to want to go there.

She checked the grave black-and-white clock hanging above the fireplace. An hour and a half had passed. Time for a break.

She placed the notebook to the side, returned her quill to its stand, capped the ink bottle, and gave her schedule a long, hard look. There were two or three businesses which she was to inspect before sunset, plenty of paperwork to deal with, and that was not including the backlog that had piled up in her absence. It was not as tall as it should have been, thanks to Twilight Sparkle taking on the Princess-appointed mantle of Acting Mayor, but there were still bits and pieces of it. Most involved the approval of loans of considerably large sums of money which the treasury did not have. But of course Twilight wouldn’t have approved it; she wasn’t as open as Mayor Mare to the idea of credit.

Speaking of credit...

She opened her notebook at the back and scrawled, in large letters that covered the whole page, “XX-8-XXX: COPPER MAST’S RETURN”. Mayor Mare didn't trust her memory these days. She was, admittedly, old. That was simply how she was now. No reason to fret or fuss or frown.

Then she turned back to her schedule, and perused it with a fraction more interest.

“Loan. Loan. Loan,” muttered Mayor Mare, dragging her hoof down the list. “Inspection, loan, inspection...”

She could not help but wonder what kind of company Ferriham was working for, and what kind of education Gilda was getting. There were schools in Maretopia, the same way water was served in restaurants. You assumed it in good faith, and got this uniquely profound disappointment when proven otherwise.

Not that it mattered. She wouldn’t see either of them ever again. Same with the shopkeeper in Sector 14, Clack the dragonfire clerk, the stallion at the casino counter who had the face of a Joe. Something Joe, or Joe Something.

She circled a few of the easier inspections, closed her eyes, remembered faintly the names of the owners, and nodded to herself. Life moved on. It was the best approach she could take with this kind of situation. It was all about the approach.

Approach, mused Mayor Mare.

Beforeshe left, she opened the bottom drawer, gave the dice a roll, and smirked dryly at the mediocre result. She returned to her notebook for a brief moment.

She needed to take the right approach. Obviously her current approach wasn't working for her. Perhaps somepony else's would.

Her next appointment was in five minutes. She didn't have time, but she wrote down the beginning anyways, in her spidery, half-cursive writing, before rushing out the door to plunge herself back into life:

Dear Adventure Journal,


39th Honesty, Setting Sun

Dear Adventure Journal!,

It’s been really busy the past few days. We’re finally home and I can write in you properly! But I have to stick the new pages in you too. I hope the glue keeps. Glue didn’t work very well in Trottingham but it seems to be better here. It’s a pity that I didn’t bring any of the journals from my trip with Jangle and his friends, but it’s okay. Apart from the griffon attack nothing special really happened.

I can’t believe I was asleep for the trip although I remember the friendly captain friend! He looked a lot like me with a brown patch on his eye too, and his crewmates were all seasoned sailors with bits of them missing like manes or teeth. And the ship had my name which was super cool too!! Maybe I should name my ship after him to return the favour, when I get one.

The past few days a lot of ponies have been talking to me and it’s kinda tiring now. I can’t say anything, because when I woke up in Eastside Port Princess Luna made me sailor swear to keep our adventure a secret. I couldn’t let anypony know about it, because the adventure is a top secret mission that could put ponies’ lives in danger! I’m a good pony so I definitely wouldn’t, so I promised her. But all these ponies keep on asking me how’s it like and I keep on telling them “I can’t tell you because I promised”, and they asked me who I promised to and I tole them “I can’t tell” because that’s part of the promise too, I can’t mention Mayor Mare, although everypony knows that Mayor Mare went looking for me too.

A lot of the adult mares gave me presents like carrots and cakes. Pinkie Pie threw me a welcome back party but it was really loud and I got dizzy halfway through so I had to take a break outside. Mayor Mare says that I’m not used to “high frequency proximity”, whatever that means, although I guess it means I’m not good at parties or places with lotsa ponies.

Mummy was really happy to see me but in a quiet way. She just hugged me for a really long time until I got pins and needles, and then I tole her because those are really annoying. Then we had a lot of my favourite seaweed-and-shellfish soup! She must have been lucky because last time she tole me that seaweed is hard to get in Ponyville because there’s no sea around.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were really excited and wanted to hear all about it but were kinda disappointed I didn’t find my cutie mark, but I tole them it was super adventure fun so that was okay. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laugh at me a lot but privately and to each other and I don’t care. Snails and Snips brag about adventures that I think they didn’t actually have. But the good thing is that now I’m good friends with Dinky! I think. Because when she saw me she ran into me and hugged me like she was about to cry, and kept saying “I’m sorry” and I asked her what for and she wouldn’t say, but then I said I’m okay and I tole her I missed her, which is the truth, and everypony else too but I think she missed the last bit. She didn’t hug me again after that which is good because hugs are icky and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would sing that annoying me-and-filly-in-a-tree song, but it’s also good that she hugged me I guess because it means we’re friends. So now we’re proper friends instead of awkward almost-friends.

I have a lot of homework to do with is going to be a pain but Miss Cheerilee says it’s okay, she’s sure I can manage it, as long as I do extra sessions after normal class. I gotta try or else I won’t have time to play Sail Ship ever, and that’s crazy!

It’s been such a long adventure and it’s been so much fun, but I think I like it best back home. I’ve got friends to play with and a school to study in and Mummy at home and Mayor Mare to have our special secret with, and I’m really really happy. And when I grow up, I’ll get my cutie mark in sailing and exploring, and I’ll find Daddy and we’ll have more amazing adventures together, Mummy and Daddy and Daddy’s friend Jangle and my friends and even Mayor Mare.