• Member Since 9th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Nov 3rd, 2020


“I need you, the reader, to imagine us, for we don't really exist if you don't.”


Celestia lets her mind wander as she waits patiently for Twilight's student and her friend to show up for dinner.

Audio readings of this fic are available! #1 by Voiceguy #2 by ABagOfVicodin

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

An enjoyable look at what happens when a mind that's had to run a country for a millennium is forced into neutral. Thank you for it.

And remember, everyone: It's rarely if ever a good idea to stab the donkey.

A really cute and creative look at Celly's thought process.

Congrats on successfully squeezing meaningfulness out of a fork.

Also the title of the chapter and story are something to be proud of, too.

Stab the donkey, cheered an inner voice from nowhere.

Oh go ahead and take my upvote.

Me thinks Cranky is jealous.:twilightoops:

Sometimes the minutiae this fandom can focus and expand upon worries me.

Okay, this was... weird. But sometimes weird is good. The fact that you expanded on something as small as a fork and made it something good is very awesome.

Why does this remind me of the spoon scene in The Matrix trilogy

Stab the donkey, cheered an inner voice from nowhere.

Celestia blinked. No. I am not stabbing the donkey.

What a killjoy. It's never bad to be spoontaneous.
I mean, I guess if you're assaulting someone it's bad, but potato potato.

... Huh. This was a bizarre little forray into Celestia's boredom and I found myself enjoying it.

... And at times narrating it in whoever the hay they got to do Gummy's voice.

Haha. Nice fic

7186864 I saw that pun. It pleases me.

Stab the donkey, cheered an inner voice from nowhere.

Celestia blinked. No. I am not stabbing the donkey.

Do it, and then stab the elephant in the room.

Funny about the fork. I was guessing that Celestia's thoughts were something like:

I wonder how long it would take Twilight to die if I put this through her neck?

But that's probably just me.

7186864 Ha! I like that! Knife one!

Gummy has a voice? Oh, wait, that was from that weird episode, wasn't it?

Thanks for reading and commenting! :twilightsmile: Much appreciated.

7188958 Yep. That's the one. Slice of Life, episode 100.

And people think you have to be high to extract meaning from perfectly ordinary things.

Funny you should mention that. Unrelated tangent, but miners in Australia, up until they banned legal marijuana around 2013(?), used to extract gold and copper from perfectly normal dirt while high...

That's... wow, that's actually a good catch. Sure, the connection to him being given the closing line in the episode is casual at best, but this is a fic about Celestia spinning a fork so tiny catches are essentially canon this side of town :trollestia:

7191976 At least someone broke the monotony of the situation & tried a conversation starter. Poor fella has to wonder why he is stuck with a piece of his friends mustache for a hairdo when princesses get swirly hair.

Let's Spoon~

I am... wow. I am so stoked that you did this. Thank you so much!

One of the top 5 portrayals of Princess Celestia I've read, and the only one to do it in under 10k words.

You give an impressively credible presentation of an ancient mind. Inherent precision in thought as she strays from politics to the mundane to philosophical terms and connects it back. The narrative comes across as so relaxed and deliberate, as though nothing is really new or even that unpracticed to her. I felt an inevitability hanging in the air - even as she lets her mind wander and will have a realization, she knows herself well enough to sense the direction she's moving.

Almost ironically, and unlike other stories of this type, you avoid seeming overly contrived and successfully instill all this substance in a true slice-of-life moment. It captures with Celestia a simple thoughtfulness that springs benevolence.

Wow. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment! I dish out these more than I receive them, so it's a real pleasure when it happens. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

This is amazing!
I was rather irritated to see Celestia reduced to an unflattering background gag in that episode!
And then this little ditty comes along and completely flips every perception of the scene on it's head!
Have all my favorites! :raritystarry:

...Celestia has issues.

And how does she get her hair to do that all the time, really? Inquiring minds want to know.

The only actual problem I can see with this story is that she would KNOW Cranky, because she DID attend his and Matilda's wedding in Episode 100 "Slice of Life."

Now, if you'd like to write another story detailing just HOW Cranky and Matilda managed to get ALL the Princesses of Equestria to RSVP some small-town wedding, then I'd be very interested indeed!

I love this story. It has this charm to it, like you have to be in the right mood to appreciate. Sort of like classical music that feels complex and intricate, but only when you spare a moment in time to soak it in. This is so Celestia that if it isn't, I wouldn't know what is.

Have a well deserved acclamation and digital approval.

Thank you for the kind words! The right mood transforms reading the romantic thing of beauty it is, doesn't it? And I know I wasn't being too subtle by directly calling it out, but sometimes you just want vindication.

I have a theory that Celestia actually does it deliberately. All the time. And the other alicorns don't do it because they can't be bothered, but they don't say anything, because sometimes Celly be craaay.

Snap, that's actually a really good catch. Nice one.


A: Did other people really not catch that?

And B: It's envious :trollestia:

That said, this is a nice bit of fluff, fairly entertaining for a meandering bit of bored thoughts.

A very interesting ret-con of what was going on with Celestia in that scene, which was bugging me anyways. Headcannon adopted!

Author Interviewer

Stab the donkey! :D

I've been very slow to watch season 6, so to avoid spoilers, I've been trying to avoid reading fics that were first published after the season started. This one, apparently, slipped in.

You can imagine my confusion when I finally sat down for No Second Prances tonight... :twilightblush:

Heyas! Sounds like you had an interesting experience. The "ohhh that makes sense now" moment must've been palpable.

Thanks for reading! :)

7454443 It was more "did they just blatantly reference a fanfic again?!" and digging through three-month-old reaction threads only to discover that somehow I was the only one who caught on and knew what they were up to :pinkiecrazy:

I then went looking for this fic only to question my own sanity when I couldn't find it - turned out, it didn't make it onto my Favorites for some reason (I've fixed that now.) And then I saw when it was written. I swear I read it last year or something...

You basically wrote a story about Celestia twirling a fork. :rainbowderp: Okay... and thinking. :derpytongue2: This was... engaging, and I liked the way you wrote the ending too. Celestia's pleasant motherliness is more than merely a public guise, but I suppose that were she in a particularly unhappy mood, she could reflect on herself feeling that she didn't live up to the sweet and polite political persona it seemed her duty to show everypony. Thanks for sharing! :twilightsmile:

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