• Published 12th Dec 2012
  • 4,935 Views, 555 Comments

Shadow of the Sun - Starwin



The sun has stopped moving! Twilight and friends must set out on a dangerous adventure to discover why.

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Chapter 28

Shadow of the Sun
By Starwin


Chapter 28


The blazing golden disc of the Sun raced across the sky, as though it couldn’t wait to finally set. The eight friends and Luna stood atop the far west tower of Canterlot castle and watched the setting Sun in silence.

The magical window that let them exist in both dreams and the waking world remained in place. Through the gap in reality the top of the tower was a fluffy white cloud, with different parts of it either cracked or missing completely.

The sky overhead darkened rapidly, as if a second eclipse were taking place. Yet, the Moon was still high above them, the rainbow ring around it becoming more prominent as day faded into night.

From atop the tower, the friends could see nighttime at last roll across Equestria, painting the land below in a soft blanket of shadows.

Yet even as the Sun set in the real world, in the dream world the Sun was just starting to rise. The white cloud beneath their hooves changed color, becoming a light pink. Although this went unnoticed by most, as they were transfixed with the rapid sunset of reality.

The edge of the sky in the real world turned orange, then red, before settling into a darkening purple and at last, a deep blue. Finally, the Sun vanished behind the rim of the world and only the Moon shone bright overhead, with the faint stars only now starting to twinkle into existence above.

“I don’t believe it,” whispered Luna in awe. “How… how did you… what did you…?”

“We restored balance,” answered Twilight, still watching the lingering edge of the Sun. “The elements alone weren’t enough to move the world, but all of the ponies, their strength, their courage and their magic was. They just needed somepony to guide them and the elements let me bring harmony to the chaos of their multicast.”

“So it’s all over then?” whispered Spike.

“No,” said Twilight, turning to look at Luna. “Not yet. Not everything. We still need to see if the nightmare magic is really gone, now that the Sun has set.”

“I can do it,” said Rainbow with a confident smile. “Just be ready to zap me or something if I turn all mean and screechy again.”

“On it!” shouted Pinkie. She leapt over to Twilight and lifted the unicorn up like she was some sort of pony canon.

“Pinkie, we talked about this,” said Twilight, sounding a little embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, I’ve been working on my aim,” answered Pinkie as she sighted Rainbow Dash down Twilight’s horn.

“Just... just go,” sighed Twilight as Pinkie pointed her at Rainbow, ready to unleash a barrage of magic if the pegasus so much as smoldered even a little.

Rainbow trotted to the edge of the cloud-tower-dream-thingy and pushed a hoof through the golden barrier that separated the worlds. Her hoof remained exactly as it was. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she jumped of the edge. Her wings hummed and there was a slight shimmer of light as she passed through the boundary, but otherwise nothing remarkable happened and she remained her normal self.

“Okay Pinkie, you can put me down now,” said Twilight, struggling to be back on her hooves, instead of pointed at somepony. “I think we should be okay to get rid of this thing now,” said Twilight waving a hoof at the magical window in the dream world. “Although, I’m not really sure how we…”

Luna’s hoof suddenly rushed through the air between Twilight and Trixie. For an instant there was a glimmer of a golden thread that Twilight had almost completely forgotten about. The thread stretched then snapped. All Twilight felt was a slight tug on something that was not her body and then the sensation was gone.

In an instant the clouds around their evaporated and the dreamland Ponyville went with it. The friends all stood upon the top of the stone tower which looked like it had seen much better days.

All of them had returned to normal. All of them except Luna. As the dream world evaporated into the night, so did she. And it was Nightmare Moon who stood before them once more, although something about her appearance was slightly off.

Rainbow Dash rushed back to stand with her friends as they looked at Nightmare Moon with fearful, yet defiant eyes.

“Have all the nightmares been returned to normal?” asked Twilight, her eyes locked on the tall dark pony standing before her.

“Yes,” answered Nightmare Moon. “The curse upon them ended with the setting of the Sun.

“So,” continued Nightmare Moon. “What will you do with me now now? Send me back to the Moon perhaps? Or would you prefer me as Luna? Or maybe, you want another statue for my sister’s garden?”

“No,” answered Twilight. “Right now, I think we need your help.”

“With, what?” asked Nightmare Moon, sounding genuinely surprised by the request.

“With… your Sister,” answered Twilight.


The walk back to the throne room was short and silent. The many statues of frozen ponies that lined the halls stared blankly at the group as they trotted past. The feeling of being watched by statues was still uncomfortable, but hopefully they shouldn’t need to endure it much longer.

Celestia stood right where the group had left her. The cold, unsettling feeling that had lingered in the air in the throne room from the damaged æther was gone or at the very least so minor none of them could feel it anymore.

“So what exactly do you expect me to do?” asked Nightmare Moon, standing at the door but unwilling to get any closer.

“I want you to change her, and all of Canterlot back,” answered Twilight. Her voice was strangely quiet. She was not demanding, or accusing, she was simply asking. The tone seemed to be unexpected.

“Why do you think I would do that?” asked Nightmare Moon. “Why would I bring my sister back for her to imprison me once more or send me away?”

“Not just your sister,” corrected Twilight, “all of Canterlot.” Nightmare Moon searched Twilight’s face for some hint of deception or trickery, yet there was none to be found.

“You have the elements,” said Nightmare Moon at last. “You can bring everypony back.”

“Maybe,” answered Twilight. “But I’m asking you to do this.” There was a long moment of silence in which the two ponies simply looked at each other.

“Fine,” answered Nightmare Moon at last. “I will break the curse upon them.” She moved to Celestia’s side and placed her horn against her sister’s stone one. Dark, swirling magic began to curl its way around the statue before jumping outwards to the other ponies around the room.

Then the magic leapt out the door and down the hallway, jumping from one statue to the next until the magic was out of sight.

Nightmare Moon’s eyes flared with black magic and she let out a shout that almost sounded like a nightmare screech. Then the magic pulled back into her and she took a staggered step back. Yet Celestia still remained stone.

“It didn’t…” began Applejack, but as she started to speak, there was a cracking sound. The stone skin began to tumble off the guards around the room, revealing the ponies underneath. As the stone bits hit the floor they turned to dust.

The guards looked around confused. From their perspective it must have been as if a huge group of ponies had suddenly appeared in the throne room.

“Nightmare Moon!” shouted one of the guards. “Advance, surround her!”

“What has she done to the Princess!” shouted another guard.

Nightmare Moon began to back away, suddenly looking panicked as the guards advanced on her.

“Stop!” commanded a voice that made the whole room still, like it had turned them to stone. In the center of the room, the stone shell was falling away from Celestia. Her horn glowed with magic so bright that no pony, except for Nightmare Moon, cast any shadows. “So, sister, this is what you have chosen,” said Celestia, it was not a question.

“It is,” answered Nightmare Moon simply.

“I see,” replied Celestia impassively.

“Princes! Wait,” cried Twilight rushing forward. Celestia turned to look at her student and her expression softened somewhat. “She isn’t how she used to be! She helped us, she even brought you back!”

“Did you?” asked Celestia turning towards her sister. Nightmare Moon looked away. “So what is it you desire now, my sister? Do you still wish to bring eternal darkness now that you have witnessed eternal day? Do you still want to rule over Equestria and make its citizens into your army?”

“I… no,” said Nightmare Moon after a moment. “But I can’t pretend things are how they once were either. I’m not Luna anymore. I haven’t really been her for a long time now.”

“No, you haven’t,” agreed Celestia a little sadly. “I was foolish to want it to be so. I knew it was not Luna the elements returned to me but just an echo of her. You can never again be the little sister I remembered so fondly.

“But that does not have to be a bad thing, for even we grow and change, in our own way. I can long for the past, but forcing it into existence can only bring you hardship.

“And yet,” continued Celestia as she looked over her dark sister. “Nor are you Nightmare Moon either. You are somepony new, somepony different and we cannot simply hide you away.”

As Celestia said it, Twilight could see there was indeed something different about the pony standing before them. Her eyes were different somehow, more silvery. Her mane was filled with stars but Twilight was sure she could see what looked like shooting stars racing through it every now and then.

While the pony retained her dark black coat, there was something of a soft silver shine to it. And most different of all was her cutie mark, which had once been a crescent moon yet now seemed to be only a dark circle on her flank. Twilight didn’t know how long the change had been there but she was sure the Princess had looked like that atop the tower.

“Beg’in your pardon your highnesses but, we still have a major problem on our hooves,” interrupted Applejack. “Our crops have been completely destroyed, our food store whittled down to almost nothing. It will take months before we can grow anything and then there is winter to think about too. Aint no way we’ll have enough food by then.”

“Well, we still have that apple forest,” reminded Spike. “What’s left of it anyhow.”

“Maybe, but I aint sure that will be enough,” said Applejack. “We got a whole darn country to feed.”

“Well what about Hoofington?” asked Pinkie.

“What about them?” replied Applejack in confusion. “Their crops are in just as poor a-shape as Ponyville’s, worse even on account of most of them being burned up in that firestorm.”

“No silly,” answered Pinkie rolling her eyes. “Hoofington has lots and lots of food. Long Star said so.” Applejack looked completely confused.

“You don’t mean that foul tasting moss!” exclaimed Rarity in horror.

“Actually, I didn’t think it was so bad,” added Fluttershy quietly.

“Yeah, Long Star said the caves are full of it and that the caves go on and on forever!” cried Pinkie in more excitement than anypony had ever before expressed when talking about moss in caves.

“It might be viable,” agreed Twilight thoughtfully. “We just have to transport it somehow.”

“That can easily be arranged,” said Celestia. She turned her attention to one of her guards. “Prepare an envoy to be sent to Hoofington, as many as are able. This is of the utmost urgency.” The guard nodded before departing.

“But what about all the others stuff!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. “What about the crops and weather and the animals and what about Cloudsdale!”

“Equestria will recover in time,” answered Celestia calmly. “Some things will heal on their own, others we must work hard to mend ourselves.” She looked towards her sister. “For the moment, I believe that all of you have earned a rest.

“As for you sister,” continued Celestia, her attention returning to the dark mare who stood listening to the conversation, but had thus far said little. “It seems that you too have been mended, that much of the anger and hate and fear that was within you is gone.

“I believe you have changed my sister. You no longer possess the anger of Nightmare Moon nor the insecurities of Luna,” said Celestia. “I believe you should have a new name. One that reflects your new strength. What do you think of Selenia?”

“I… I like it,” answered the dark princess. “I like it a lot better than the last name I chose for myself…” Celestia smiled.

“Tell me sister,” asked Celestia. “Will you still stand by my side and protect Equestria? Will you raise the Moon at night and make way for the dawn in the morning? Will you rule with a just hoof and work for the betterment of all ponykind?”

“I will,” answered Selenia at last. She turned to look back at Twilight, who smiled warmly at her. “I will guard this world and its dreams for all of my days, and all of my nights. Let us keep the balance and share the sky so that neither endless day nor eternal night shall ever threaten our world again.”

END

Author's Note:

Well dear readers we have at last reached the end of this extremely long journey. I hope it was an adventurer worth taking and that you enjoyed it. I worked really hard on it and it's been a crazy 11 month long ride for me. (and around 700~ish hours of work, that's more time than I've spent in Skyrim!)

There was actually a fair bit more content that didn't make it into the final cut. My original chapter count comes to 47. That's not to say we are missing 19 chapters, some of that got rolled into other chapters in one form or another. But I did end up cutting out a fair bit so that we could finally get to the end. So the battle with Trogdor will just have to wait for another story.

Just as most stories go, things changed along the way. In the original draft (the one I prepare before I start posting) the story didn't include Spike at all beyond the first few chapters. Yet, I was asked to add him and I agreed that his presence would make the story better. And it did! (or at least I think it did).

I know some readers may not like the ending for whatever reason (and despite previous, uh, story reactions, this is it and it won't change (save for typo corrections or perhaps better clarity)), but this story is more about the journey. Not to say the ending isn't important to me, it's just not the most important thing.

This is a type of story I have never really tried before (and by far the longest amount of time I have spent posting new chapters (not my longest story mind you, just the longest time I spent working on it)). I think it came out okay (having now re-read it several dozen times I've kind of lost perspective), could it have been better? Yeah, but I think everything I write could always be better than it is. Could it have been shorter, yes... yes it could have been.

Anyhow, that's all for now. I have an epilogue for this, but I don't think it's needed so, story complete.

Now I'm off to work on other things and stories and such.

Thank you all again for taking this journey with me. It has been an amazing experience reading all your comments and hearing your insight. The story is always fun, but it's the community that makes it worth doing.

Comments ( 43 )

Great story, thanks for all the work that went into it and sharing it with us.

a few typos in this chapter:

The cure upon -> the curse upon

need you help -> need your help

you to changer her -> you to change her

Also not sure about the name "New Moon" seems just a bit hokey, probably would have gone for "Selene" to sound more regal and match Celestia and I would probably change it around so that it is Luna/Nightmare/New moon/Selene that makes the decision to choose a new name, again so we see her as changed and equal to Celestia, as Celestia's current dialog comes across as a little paternalistic.

Thanks again, cant wait for your next story. :twilightsmile:

It's finally over. It doesn't feel real. It's been a fantastic journey and I'd happily do it again! :pinkiehappy:

3169403
Typos corrected. :twilightsmile:
Yeah I did consider Selenia / Selene though I though it was a little too similar to Celestia. Although, maybe it does work better. I think I will update it too...

DUDE you have made an amazing story!!! from the moment i saw the description i was f***ing hooked like a fish. i love how you sometimes ended the chapters with cliffhangers cause that made me like the story even more and it kept me on the edge of my seat!! GREAT WORK MAN!!! im sad that this is over :fluttercry:
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is there at least going to be an epilogue? it'd be nice to see how things get better a few months (maybe a year) into the future.

but this story is more about the journey. Not to say the ending isn't important to me, it's just not the most important thing.

This ending just seemed rushed and almost lazy. The journey was very enjoyable and reading each new chapter was almost always a treat. :twilightsmile:

Now we need a squel where something else goes wrong :)

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!



IT'S FINISHED!!! I LOVED THIS STORY SO MUCH!!!

Funny, I was hoping Twilight would become an alicorn herself when she helped restore harmony to the world... I mean, it is in her name. She brought harmony between Night and Day, a Twilight. I thought it would be fitting.

Overall I loved this story. Great work!

Also you got me curious about this epilogue...

neither day nor night shall ever be eternal again

You ponies keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.

Cute. I enjoyed everything leading up to Canterlot more than everything after. But still enjoyable overall.
The ending could have been better served as implications rather than being outright wrapped up. I always find endings flawed because nothing ever really ends, does it?

behind the rim of the world and only the Moon shown bright overhead

Should be "shone".

T'was a pretty good ride.

And thus one of the more amazing fics on this site comes to a close. :raritycry:

Bravo! I gift you five Spikestaches! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

3170023
Eternal(s) or The Eternal may refer to:

1. Eternity, an infinite amount of time, or a timeless state
2. Immortality or eternal life

I think we do.
We are using 1 in this context.

3171693
Corrected, thank you. :twilightsmile:

Epilogue!
Epilogue!

Maybe a short sequel solely dealing with giving damage report and casualty number from this mess. Additionally Twilight should demand the Princesses get the moon and sun to automatically cycle seeing as their control nearly turned Equestria to ash.

3172139 My point precisely. It has ended. Therefore it was not eternal. Nightmare Moon can have a goal of eternal night, but unless day is prevented from occurring ever again, the night can only be extended, not eternal. If say, the night lasts a millennium, then it was a millennial night, not 1000 years of eternal night because that's a contradiction in terms (unless there is something going on with time travel).

we still have a major problem on our hoofs,”

Hooves, silly.

Well it certainly was one doozy of a journey! Like I said earlier, though, it seems as though it was more about the journey than the people in it. Not that's a bad thing, as it is somewhat similar to how Tolkien's stories went, from what I'm told. I read somewhere that Tolkien's motivation to craft Middle Earth was to create a mythology for England. Shadow of the Sun is very much a non-canon extension of Faust's mythology for Equestria. It's all about the princesses, the Elements, and the forces that keep their universe in order. As such, I find Princess Luna's change very appropriate; there's no way such grand, earth-shattering events to pass by without changing all of Equestria in some big ways, neither its economy or its people.

It's just the tiniest bit of a letdown that this focus on the mythological aspect of your adventure was given priority over the characters themselves. Sure, they did have their personal trials and feelings, but there was a lot of room to expand on it all and add a more personal aspect to the whole story. I wouldn't know exactly where to start building and where to go from there, but I also can't help but feel there was a missed opportunity to weave a stronger character-driven narrative in with the action-driven one. It certainly doesn't suffer much for the lack, but it does leave me with the feeling that a little more could have been happening.

As you say, though, there's always room for improvement. I loved the story, I'm ecstatic that Spike could be part of it with his friends (his presence was definitely an improvement), and I'm pretty darn glad that I could follow the entire adventure from beginning to end! Thanks for writing it. :ajsmug:

Now you just need to submit that epilogue where Spike and Trixie hook up. 'Cuz that's what happens in it, right? Right?

3173374 LOL I think you read that wrong... that was the point of the sentence. Eternal Night and Day was prevented from happening. If nothing was done to stop NMM we would have Eternal Night.... if Nothing was done to fix the magic... we would have Eternal Day. Because something was done, there is no prospect of facing Eternal Night/Day hence "neither day nor night shall ever be eternal again."

I guess one way to make that a more solid statement would be to remove the "again."

That was such an awesome story thank you for writing it!! I really enjoyed reading :rainbowkiss:

3174082 and 3173374
Thank you both for your input. :twilightsmile:

You both have a valid point. Neither night nor day has ever really been eternal, just much longer. Although hearing Celestia say neither will be really, really, really, longer every again does sound a little silly (pinkie might say that though).

I use the term eternal because that's how Nightmare Moon originally refers to it, 'to bring night(time?) eternal' even though it only last a few hours extra the second time around (and we don't know how long night lasted the first time she appeared).

While it's true neither day nor night has ever really been eternal before (because, it can't have been) the reason there is an 'again' at the end is because it has almost been, or at least the intent to make it eternal has been.

So, is there a better term than eternal? Maybe... I will have to think on it. I'm also considering removing 'again'.

3173855
Actually, both Hooves and Hoofs seem to be correct as far as I can tell. But I'll change it all the same. :twilightsmile:

You are absolutely correct, the only characters that have any development in this story are Trixie and Luna/Nightmare Moon/Selenia. And that's actually sort of by design here.

Writing for nine characters is pretty tricky (and I would prefer not to do it again). Writing for nine characters and a cataclysmic ending world event is even more so. Adding in a personal struggle for each of them to overcome and grow, well, that's a little too much.

The biggest problem in having so many characters to deal with is that the impact of each ones personal struggle is diminished, because the audience has already seen it. If I'd had every character dealing with some internal turmoil then when we got to Luna at the end her 'transformation' would have been overshadowed by other characters.

There is a lot that could have been added, such as Rainbow overcoming her traumatization after her ordeal as a nightmare. AJ's mental break down in loosing all her crops. Fluttershy's anger and rage (and transformation into Fireshy) at abandoning all her animal friends. Just to name a few.

But I could write an entire story for each of those (I did for Rainbow, as reference, but cut the idea from this story). Trying to fit it into this already overly long story just never seemed to work.

And with so much already going on, having another seven plot thread to follow just makes this more of a tangled mess. Although there are remnants of some of what I mentioned above still left in the story.

For this story I set out to right as close to pure adventure as possible. Could more character development have made the story better... maybe? I don't really know.

Thank you for sticking with me through this adventure (both in terms of the story and in writing it). Your comments have been invaluable to helping make this journey what it is (and convincing me to bring Spike along, which I agree, improved the overall adventure). :twilightsmile:

The whole epilogue is dedicated to the love triangle between Trixie, Spike and Rarity... :rainbowwild:

3174321 *completely ignores everything you said except...*

Trixie, Spike and Rarity?? :pinkiegasp: That's the hottest thing imaginable! Bring it on!

But yeah, I have no doubt it would be a headache to balance that many storylines amidst an ambitious tale. When Joss Whedon finished writing and directing Serenity, he vowed to never again involve himself in a project with seven major characters. When he was two weeks into production for The Avengers, he suddenly realized what he was doing and mentally facepalmed.

3174082

I think you read that wrong... that was the point of the sentence. Eternal Night and Day was prevented from happening

Let us keep the balance and share the world so that neither day nor night shall ever be eternal again.

"Be" not "threaten to be". Clearly implies that eternal day was happening rather than threatening to happen.

3174194

I use the term eternal because that's how Nightmare Moon originally refers to it, 'to bring night(time?) eternal' even though it only last a few hours extra the second time around (and we don't know how long night lasted the first time she appeared).

Other people do too, and I was commenting on this general tendency. I've seen references to "three hours of Eternal Night" for instance.

So, is there a better term than eternal? Maybe... I will have to think on it. I'm also considering removing 'again'.

One way would be to rework the sentence to Equestria being threatened with/by Eternal [time of day] but a specific better term would be "endless" I think. By default it means the same thing, conveying the message, but coupled with a specified time period means not ending in the given time period (even though it should) which is factually correct.

3174383

"Be" not "threaten to be". Clearly implies that eternal day was happening rather than threatening to happen.

Not to beat a dead horse here but Eternal Day WAS happening. What I said still stands... if NOTHING was done then Eternal Day would have BEEN Eternal. So the cast referring to it as Eternal is correct... because that was the implied intent that they were aware of.

The way this is being argued here makes me think you had issue with the first ep of MLP to begin with on that word.

ANYWAY back to Starwin! You did a great job man and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us next.

3174427

Eternal Day WAS happening. What I said still stands... if NOTHING was done then Eternal Day would have BEEN Eternal.

1) So everyone ever sick was suffering from an incurable disease, because if no one cured it then it wouldn't be cured? Seriously. It has ended. It was not eternal at any point. Of course nothing is eternal, because you can only say something was eternal after eternity passed and it didn't end, which obviously can't happen.
1b) Actually, I think something being [period of time] at any particular point in time isn't even coherent.
2) It wouldn't have been eternal or even very long. The end of the world was pretty imminent.

1) So everyone ever sick was suffering from an incurable disease, because if no one cured it then it wouldn't be cured? Seriously. It has ended. It was not eternal at any point. Of course nothing is eternal, because you can only say something was eternal after eternity passed and it didn't end, which obviously can't happen.

Let me fix this...
1) Everyone sick from a disease that has no cure is at that moment incurable.

You are stuck on the fact because it ended means it wasn't Eternal... well that is right, HOWEVER if no one STOPPED it then it would have gone on for their life time and forever. So in their point of view it would be Eternal if not stopped. You can't look at this from the readers point of view you have to look at it at the ponies point of view at that particular point of time.

Example:
For Luna(an Immortal/Eternal Being) she was after a Night time that would last forever/Eternal unable to be changed by those around her or Celestia. She wanted a domain that was hers forever but the elements of harmony prevented her from accomplishing this goal. What would happen if there were no elements to stop her? Would you still say Eternal Night can't happen?

p.s. Starwin sorry for spamming ya inbox on this. If ya want it to stop please say so. ;)

3175587, 3175499
Taking both of your input into account, I think I have come to a better version:

Let us keep the balance and share the sky so that neither endless day nor eternal night shall ever threaten our world again

What do you think? :twilightsheepish:

3176473
hehe I like it. :D

3176473 Well, either of my suggestions would have sufficed, using both got a touch verbose... in a way that captures exactly the way Celestia talks in her speeches at the end of Return of Harmony and The Canterlot Wedding. I like it.

It ended? :rainbowderp:Wat. :pinkiegasp:Luna is gone. :twilightoops:Sad.:raritycry:
My thought process when I saw 'END'.

3182930 My sentiments are echoed here. It was a great story. I'll be watching for more of your work. Write on! :moustache:

Wow, this was a really great story! Well written, overall - a few typos here and there, but not so much that it obstructed the narrative. The characterizations were solid, the descriptions well-done, and themes well-explored. The pacing was a little stilted in places, tending towards the sluggish in a few parts, but it kept me immersed regardless. And I really enjoyed the mind-trip sequences (something I also loved in Veil of Thoughts).

I do, however, think an epilogue would do the story a favor. Things were wrapped up rather quickly, and there's sort of an unresolved feeling to it. You tied up the Celestia/Luna arch really well, and we get a good feel for what Equestria's near future will look like, but I feel like the Mane 6 were kind of left out of the resolution a little, like they were spectators at the end of their own story. What are they thinking or feeling after this? Are their nightmare selves completely gone? (It seems like it, but there was also talk that it would be very difficult to cleanse them completely, and implications that the solution was temporary). And what of Trixie? Will she be going to live in Ponyville like they talked about? And how did Ponyville - all their friends and family - fare during all this? I don't know, there just seems to be a lack of closure, a vacuum in the story crying to be filled. Perhaps an epilogue, taking place at some point in the near future, would work. I mean, it's your call, of course. But something feels missing.

Regardless of that suggestion, it was an enjoyable story, and I look forward to your next project (whether it's the eagerly anticipated VoT sequel or something else entirely).

I guess I'm one of those readers that didn't really enjoy the ending. I just don't really like the concept of Luna not really being Luna. Also it kinda feels like its missing an epilogue, like Equestria a few months down the line, how the country recovered, how ponies feel about it, how Selena is adapting to her new self...

I do think it was very creative and wraps up things pretty neatly. Overall it was a fascinating adventure tale and rather well written.:raritywink:

3195088
Thank you for the thoughtful and well written comment! It really made my day :twilightsmile:

I agree with everyone of your points and observations about the story and its ending. You have certainly given me something to think on as to the inclusion of an epilogue.

I will give it some more thought but your comments have swayed me from 'no' to 'maybe.'

While I can't promise it will happen, it is more likely that I may post one. I just need a bit of time on my end to recover.

As to other projects, I have three that I want to post. Two more this year (both short stories, a 1 shot (in editing) and a 7 chapter(in 2nd draft)). Then, most likely, the next installment for VoT (in very slow 1st draft of attempt 8 atm. I have made it to five chapters thus far and I don't hate it, so that's a new record) coming next year... at some point :twilightsmile:

Finally got around to finishing this story and I have to say it was overall an amazing story.

An excellent story, definitely. There were quite a few typos along the way ("the" instead of "they" and vice versa, along with several others), but they didn't detract from the story in the slightest. Like many, though, I have to agree this needs an epilogue; and my reason for saying this is simple. In the author's notes, you said this story is about the journey. Well, in every sense of the word, the journey hasn't ended yet. With the kind of story you've written, it won't end until they do one thing: make it home.

This story began in Ponyville. We were given not just what was happening with the Element bearers, but with the populous in general. Despite the overall goals of finding answers and saving Equestria, the initial reason for the starting this journey has always been saving Ponyville. We, the readers, became invested in its fate. As such, seeing the restoration of Equestria is ultimately unimportant. For the readers, the journey simply isn't over until we see that Ponyville still stands.

Hopefully, that makes some kind of sense. It sounded good in my head.:twilightsheepish:

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Hellos Fuse! I'm glad you liked the story. Thank you for taking the time to both read my work and leave me a post (which means a great deal to me).

In the end I am just one person on a deadline proofing my own work (yeah I could have a beta/proofer but I publish on a fairly strict schedule and its never worked well for me before). I try to catch as many typos as I can but there is only so much I can do.

You do (as many have) make a good argument for an epilogue and I do (as I've mentioned before) agree it probably needs one. I have been working on a few different iterations but none of them 'fit' the way I want (and a couple launch us into dreaded sequel territory, so no way they will ever see the light of day).

While not impossible that I will add one, I am currently focused on other things / stories. After reading your post last night I did revisit some of my epilogue (and deleted chapter) drafts from SotS. So... maybe?

That's the best I can manage for now. But it's not impossible.

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Mostly just included for laughs but not really meant as a plot point. Maybe a better distention would have been between precious / semi-precious gems and common crystals.

Ah, this was an excellent story. Things got a little confusing towards the end, but then they settled themselves out. And now I'm late for class. Bugger.

I agree with the person who posted before me. This story isn't quite finished. We need one more chapter on this story to tie everything up. We're invested in the fate of Ponyville and have been since the beginning. We need to have a chapter of the Mane6 returning to their home. We have to find out if Ponyville survived, and how well? And how it's going to survive in the future. We need ONE more chapter to end this great story perfectly.

This story reminded me way too much of the first LotR book. That's not a good thing; I never even tried to read the other LotR books.

I read this whole story and... didn't care for it. I don't feel strongly enough about it to give it a thumbs down, but I really didn't like it.

That was a good story, although I'll admit, at the end, I got rather confused as to what was happening. I didn't quite understand the whole Nightmare/dream world/Celestia talking to them part. Regardless, I really enjoyed it.

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