Crowd (rewrite) - TwilightUCrazy
It was Applejack's baby shower, and to be honest... Rainbow really hadn't expected such a huge turnout. Half of Ponyville had come, not to mention all of the Apple family. The crowd flowed right out of the house, into the barnyard, and all over Sweet Apple Acres. The cider stores were getting hard to keep wet. Thankfully some of the Apple family had brought their own along.
Rainbow Dash had needed to do much of the prep work herself. She had finally gotten the hang of fritters, and had spent the better part of the last few days helping Big Mac with making a big enough pile of them for the party.
“Everypony good?” she shouted over the crowd.
All the ponies in the farmhouse turned and offered a cheer to the soon-to-be papa-mother.
Sweet, thought Rainbow, and trotted over to the stairs. Applejack hadn't yet made an appearance at her own shower, so it was time to fix that.
As she scaled the steps and knocked on the door, she swore she could hear the rustling of bedsheets.
Rainbow entered the room slowly when she didn't get a reply. “Applejack?” she whispered softly.
Her wife lay on her side over on the old twin bed, her face buried in the sheets.
Whatever joke Rainbow had in mind to try and rouse Applejack's annoyance evaporated. Her playful expression was replaced by concern. Her wife looked like she'd taken a Rainboom to the face. Her hair was doing everything but laying straight. An empty picnic basket that had held Rainbow's weight in food lay empty on its side on the floor.
It'd been three nights, and she'd only gotten a few hours of sleep put together. Their child was anxious, and wouldn't stop kicking for anything.
“AJ? You okay?” she asked, closing the door behind her and trotting around the bed.
Judging from her body, Applejack was crying. Again.
Where once it was hard to imagine Applejack ever crying, over the last couple weeks it was becoming more difficult to think of a time she wasn't.
Rainbow settled on the narrow strip of bed left to her and nestled against her wife.
“Hey beautiful,” she whispered softly.
Applejack looked up with bloodshot green eyes, and an orange face stained dark by tears.
Rainbow's heart wrenched in sympathy.
“Rainbow, Ah can't do it...” she wept.
The cyan pegasus blinked. “Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, calm down,” she said softly. Rainbow had learned an awful lot about tenderness over the past few months. “Applejack, you're just scared. It's normal, remember? The doctor said it was just your hormones out of whack.”
“No, Rainbow. Ah ain't ready to be a mommy. Ah have no idea what Ah'm doin'...”
Rainbow blinked and frowned, nuzzling in closer and draping a wing over her mate.
“Well, of course you're not,” she said softly. “Come on, do you think anypony is ever ready to be a mom?”
“No, no, no,” Applejack whimpered, burying her face into her hooves. “Ah'm gonna screw it up. Ah'm gonna ruin everything. It'll be all mah fault!”
Rainbow wrapped her hooves around Applejack and pressed a soft kiss to her ear.
“Of course you're gonna screw up,” she smiled gently. “I'm gonna screw up. Hay, I'm the most screw-upingest pony there is!”
It didn't help Applejack's mood as she continued to cry into her bedspread.
“But you know what?” Rainbow asked, moving closer and pressing her forehead to Applejack's. “We'll learn not to screw up. We'll stink at being parents at first. Then we'll get better. When we do screw up, we'll screw up together. And we won't be alone either. Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy? They'll all be there to help us when we need it. And we'll always have each other too.”
Applejack seemed to stop crying as hard, and looked up to her wife.
Rainbow smiled.
“Being a mom is what you wanted, right?”
“Of course it's what Ah wanted! Ah want it more'n anything, but...”
“But what, then?”
Applejack pressed her muzzle into Rainbow's coat and cried more.
They stayed that way for a long time. A trio of birds perched on their window sill and flirted for awhile and then left. The sun cast a slightly different shadow through the glass by the time Applejack dried her eyes.
Rainbow nuzzled her wife's nose.
“Come on. Let's go get you washed up. You'll feel like a whole new pony. Maybe you'll even feel like going to the party. Everypony can't wait to see you!”
Applejack sniffed and smiled.
“Will you wash me?”
Rainbow tinged just the slightest shade of pink as some somewhat-naughty thoughts entered her mind. She banished them quickly, and bit her lip. She didn't want her smile to blind the mother-to-be. “I'll wash you with my own two hooves. You won't even have to do a thing.”
Applejack pressed against her side and nuzzled her cheek against Rainbow's chest.
“Will you hold me while ya do?”
Rainbow grinned and met Applejack's lips with her own in a brief and playful smooch. “I won't even let go of you once.”
It wasn't always easy being awesome. It was hard for crowds. And it was especially hard for your wife. Especially especially when she needed you to be a little mushy for her. But hay, Rainbow didn't mind if it was just between her and Applejack.
Every once in awhile, when it really, really mattered, being awesome just came natural.
“Rainbow Juniper Dash?”
“Hm?” Rainbow looked at her wife as she heard her middle name mentioned.
Applejack kissed her cheek. “Ah love you.”
Rainbow tossed a smug expression her way. “I love me too!”
Applejack made a delightful, irritated smirk that she hadn't seen since this whole pregnancy ordeal began, and her heart absolutely soared. It felt like a return to normalcy. The pony she loved and married was still very much alive and well.
Rainbow chuckled. "But I had to put the Eternity anklet on the pony I love the most..." she said, her hoof nudging the golden band around Applejack's fetlock.
Any signs of Applejack's despair vanished with the glowing smile she wore, and the musical laughter that echoed off the walls of their room.
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A lot better than the previous version. :)
Now this. THIS is awesome.
I'm in the minority here, I suppose, in liking the original better. I've never had a kid but I'll be the first to admit I'm beastly when PMS hits. Love isn't about being nice or even tolerable all the time, but about loving one another all the same- I think Dash showed resillience and strength by just being glib about the hormones.
That's just my opinion, though. :)
3538285
See, I'd hoped to convey that...
I just think I didn't have enough space to work it over as thoroughly as I would have hoped. That's the kind of thing I guess you deal with in longer, more dedicated fics.
3538285 I think fr me the issue was it was just too fast. It felt all crammed together, this way we can see the crying fits that do happen with pregnancy. You do get scared or sad or tired and often you do get incredibly angry and rage (So I'm told, my uterus is off limits for such things right now.) but the stereotype is the raging monster because that's funnier. So to use that in such a short piece felt a bit...lazy almost? This feel more natural and solid. I really love the show of Dash's strength and AJ's fragile state. It really makes them feel more well rounded.
The first version was pretty funny but I think I prefer the rewrite because it gave me the warm fuzzies.
Awwww...I like it, but the previous version, in my opinion, was way better. Maybe it's because I find cursing funny...
This one made me cry, the first version made me cackle 🥰🥰🥰