Ink Stroke
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1508813 I can respect the grammar errors in the first fanfiction. It's a huge step; not everything can be perfect; no one ever expects it to be.
However, I love this fic so far
Keep up the awesome work.
I find the synopsis rather...difficult to read. You might wanna work on that.
Well, besides a few grammar errors, I like the way you wrote this - let's what more will you come up with
This story is promising. *In before being featured*
I will return to read this later
Finally, another Spilight fanfic! There are grammar issues, as everyone else has mentioned, but the story so far is enjoyable. I can't immediately recall having read any Spike romance (well, the kind that doesn't friendzone him) that dealt so heavily with the species difference. Keep this going.
Thanks to everyone so far, i'll try to cut out a bit of my worktime on chapter 2 and try to clean up this chapter
A thing you might or might not want to know is that I really relish some of the more underused types of fictions, so I decided to test out a spilight fiction since it is pretty much the most underused catagory I know of.
Interesting, very interesting... It's true when you say this premise is underused and yes, like the others there are some grammar errors but still very much readable all the same. Keep up the good work sir.
Great defiantly keeping my eye out on this one
I can't wait for it to update. a very good first fic
It's been a while since I found a Spilight fanfic. I like you aproach on the conflcit and how Spike has kept his fellings hidden or rather, forgotten for so long.
Again, thanks to those who watch my fic. Honestly, I didn't think it would hit off like it did, it makes me feel great that this fic isn't forgotten in the browsing bin. So for that...
CHEERS!
Where did you say the gems where
1. Were.
And now... plot
development
1514227
Thank you, dear reader, I shalleth fix it!!
YES THE PLOT THICKENS NOW!!!!
Slow dow a bit man, or else this is going to become a rushed story very soon. Either way, it was a good chapter. I was expecting Twilight to get mad or at least yell at Rarity for rejecting Spike or something, but it was better the way you carried it out.
I hope to read more.
i enjoy twi-spike fics
4.bp.blogspot.com/-RVz5u-lhUAA/T2ZN9yEM9HI/AAAAAAAAA20/QpG9kU6tK9M/s400/BuenoRainbowDash.jpg
because reasons
:3
and yes the plot thickens!! >:D
Indeed, as Rennes said, don't rush it. You have a nice setting, and I'm sure I speak for everyone that a longer story is a better read (as long as it isn't long for the sake of being long).
Either way, keep it up! You're doing good
Ohoho, don't worry, dear readers, I don't just plan on having Spike's internal debate as the only conflict in this story.
There will be drama, there will be external conflicts, and I'm debating getting things saucy at one point, but whatever, I'll leave that last one up to you.
1514356
Yeah I can see why you thought I might make Twilight mad at Rarity, and I thought of doing that for a while, but no, I just don't see Twilight screaming at others just because things didn't play out like Spike wanted.
1514458
Oh, great, now I'v got Rainbueno on my comments section
Here you go, dear readers, have a extra long chapter as a 'thank you' for your audience.
I like the premise, it's familiar but has its own twist on things.
It was a good read.
-Sturrn
Now to wait to see what the Princess needs
1517984
Hello there, dear reader, I am going to go ahead and say that the plot is thicker than it seems, try seeing beyond the princess, and find the root of old and new problems, besides you won't have to wait, I'm working as we speak.
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRH5-d0TTWD1HiGSWep4fPQoBtWEJjSBfJSnf7yWqEf7YNSubum
1518011
I prefer not to think too much ahead so I don't spoil anything for myself, no matter how much or little obvious it is... If that makes sense
Still, ayness for more soon
1518028
Indeed...hmmm...YOU KNOW TOO MUCH!!!
*PRESSES SELF-DESTRUCTION BUTTON*
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQPs3r6oEH46fKutgaBJfSW9krlAiHa-0vBAqRJIvqt9e7Yclc8xQ
1518047
Actually I know too little thanks to not thinking ahead
Now... That is a good thing, right? Right?
1515792
I was thinking more about Twilight being mad at Rarity for being the cause of Spike's suffering. But never mind.
moar... i love twispike...
1511461 You I will have to watch my dear firend, almost anyone on this site can tell you that Spilight is my favorite pairing now and forever, I could give you many reasons why and to be honest and in my own personal opiton, I despise Spike/Rarity but I could never hate many author friends that enjoy that pairing...you have a few slight grammer errors that should be corrected other then that really, really amazing job, will be reading more, you got my vote100%
1509348 Brohoof me brother!
1518989
Don't worry, dear reader, MOAR is on its way and I won't stop until my brain looks like a crumpled up piece of paper.
1518999
Ah, it looks like I'v found my dear reader of the week.
I can agree with things getting more...heated as time passes and I like the bit of swearing you add to this because it's Teen rated you know, please keep that up also those bully bastards are jack-ases I just want to puch them in the face...but I think a hoof would hurt a lot more then a hand huh?
Also one or two slight errors with grammer nothing major though, onto the next one!
I fucking love this.
Jus' sayin'. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png
1518047 So THAT'S where my bomb went off to...knew I should have never trusted Luna with it, damn. Also, HA! Those bastards got what they deserved and you got to love Spike he's such a smart ass, one of my favorites really....hmmm...not sure why there is a big gap towards the last line and end of the chapter but whatever. Remember they are only five, maybe six years apart not a big deal at all
1518989 We have got to STOP meeting like this bro.
Nah, I'm kidding, we both seriously love Spilight so it's only natural that we would both read and comment on such a very well made story right? Go get Reaper, 27, see if he'll like this
Also, mind adding a bit of Derpy Hooves to this as well?
1519146
By a teenage filly, I meant around fourteen.
Probably should rephrase that right?
UPDATE:Chapter three 'Dream Walking' is halfway complete, dear readers, BASK IN THE TIME UNTIL I FINISH IT!!
1519176 Hmmmm.....nah, your good bro, I don't think many would care about it to be honest, also welcome to the Spilight Army, I'm your second in command and as soon as I find the #1 fan of Spilight I'll be sure to intoduce him/her to you...once I meet them myself
1519216
Glad to help, now tis be time for me to return to make Spike continue on his trippin' quest.
1519227 Same here and count me in
Also, you ever need any help, ideas or advice, I got your back bro
Maybe you should stop giving us both Spikes' reactions to his memories. Memories don't work like that. I'm don't know jack about psychology, but it seems pretty obvious that when your mind is busy recovering a lost memory, it's a little to occupied to let you stop and have an emotional reaction to it. Memories don't work like movies in that regard, where you can draw an opinion while your past-self is some kind of detached avatar. Also, having the thoughts and emotions of two Spikes described at the same time is confusing and more than a little annoying. Describe the memory, then save his present reactions for when he wakes up and is capable of mulling it over.
Now, I am eager for some tense drama to take place between Spike and Twilight, and for it to be followed by their first make-out scene, clop scene, what have you.
1519330
Very well, dear reader, I plan on approaching Spike's upcoming memories in a new method anyway, but for the dream sequences I'll put your advice into effect.
1519146 i love meeting like this
i will go get reaper!
1519404
Please do...MUAHAHAHA MORE SOULS FOR US!!!
1519433 the deed is done... Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa
1519404 Same here brother, same here
An evil laugh, how come no one told me? Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahah........
Hoping he likes this, though I think he is one for Spilight...the best pairing ever created for MLP (in my own eyes)
1519749 yes yes and all of my yes... i also like spitdash/dashfire
1519749
Because it is.
1519761
I like any pairing save for Spike/Rarity, Twilight/Big Macintosh, Celestia, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash...other then that I can handle any and alomst every pairing created
But that's just my opition, I would never judge those who like the pairings I dislike, no need to, everyone has their own choices correct?
1519765 Brohoof, always and forever it is
Do you like any other pairing besides Spilight as well, fellow Brony?
1519790
Of course I do, I don't like to judge other people because of their likes or dislikes, heck, there are even stories of pairings I like that make me want to pummel my laptop out of existence.
1519790 HOW ARE WE SO ALIKE?! I LIKE ALL OF THOSE!!!! and yes, that is correct, you read for the ones we love right?
hopefully twi and spike if they get together can prove rarity wrong about dragons and unicorns