Lighting Ace
Joined 4th Nov, 2012 ·
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Understandable black cut outs are easy to describe it with the background images.
I don't think he was pretending 😂😂
Also love the story, Love the concept and can't wait for more.
An interesting take, and I'm already rooting for Purple! :D
Interesting! Looking forward for the next chapters :D
11867701
Thanks for understanding, I will keep that in mind
11867721
So glad to hear you like the idea so far, behold the Prince of the Hobos! Not to be confused with the prince of the Homos, I'm pretty sure that is a gay bar somewhere in the world
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Don't worry Purple is a pal, took plenty of inspiration from a character in AAA story call Bulk, but slightly different. I'm planning to give him a more significant role later on, and maybe he may also be related to one of the mane six, the question is which one?
11867913
Well hope I disappoint, I'm considering posting the next the day after Master Roshi post his new chapter, consider it a nice little cookie after one big cake treat jeje
The concept is interesting. I don't remember having read a fic of this style. I'm curious to see how far you can develop it.
Knife?
Nice, I've read Tripple A before and loved it so I'm looking forward to see how this story continues since it inspired you!
The chapter had a couple spelling mishaps but nothing to big, if you keep at it I'm sure this will turn into something amazing!
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I'm also wondering is this also a rgre like AAA? Because so far I don't think it is because i've seen a lot of males in the guard.
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Well at first I consider making Purple a mare but decided against it, thinking it could be a nice spin the nice saint guard to be a stallion for a chance, the mares still outnumber stallions and Canterlot is the capital of perverts in that regard but I want to see how that plays out.
Specially since nurses are about to see Ragged without a shirt.
Also don't get used to that name, is not his name. And more the nickname Purple give him because he is always wearing raggedy clothes. I plan to give him another one soon enough
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Understandable have a nice day
Continue
Is English a second language to you, Author? Not ragging on you, just curious. Your editor either didn't notice it, or what cause there's a lot of little broken pieces of dialogue here and there.
I think the story has potential. Just make it your own thing, don't try too hard to be another story.
"Where's your crown, King Nothing?"
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It is actually, and don't worry. I'm seeking authors and always welcome those that would like to lend a hand there, glad to hear you are enjoying the story so far
I can't help but think of the song seeing the tile
Loving this already
Yeah, I'm Liking this I can't wait for the next chapter.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, keep it up 👍
ooooh a competitor to AAA. i love competition. it breeds creativity. i.ytimg.com/vi/XsOPpquoy4w/maxresdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEoCIAKENAF8quKqQMcGADwAQH4Ac4FgAKACooCDAgAEAEYSiBaKGUwDw==&rs=AOn4CLDmD6Dhrhy94X0MGb0XhWmsrtykHw
oh fuck yes i love these kind of stories
Interesting. I like the premise quite a lot. The pacing is a little fast and the Grammer a tad wonky in places but is also very much enjoyable and can be followed with only a few pauses and re reads.
For English being your second language it's very good. Improvement will come quickly as well.
While I am assuming that Deutsch is your first language, it would explain the somewhat A-typical sentence structure.
Either way, good work, look forward to more.
11869841
Close actually, it Spanish, but thanks
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JA more like an apprentice, AAA is the master and TKON is still barely it Padawan. But let see what the future has in store for both stories
Good story intro.
What is this AAA story that people are referencing as inspiration/competition here? I'm assuming Ascension, Abdication, or Abduction but I could be wrong.
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It is, the story that inspire to write this version.
You read that one and you could see what I mean.
Here is the link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/540211/ascension-abdication-or-abduction
I recommend you give it a view if you haven't yet, is just that good
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JA? which story is that?
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Ah it was me trying to think of an abbreviation for "The King Of Nothing" sorry for the confusion
I fuck with this heavy, AA&A is also one of my many inspirations for writing. Cant wait to read more!
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*The wordsmith wizard dies of 1D4 Positive Reinforcement damage.*
Need moorrreeeeeee
bro you did that Mayor so dirty. name, stature, manors,...
I cant help but give her the most annoying voice with the ugliest face I can imagine as I read.
10/10
I can immediately tell this pony has terrible opinions.
And there it is.
A lot of exaggerated corruption The princesses in this AU cannot be competent in the slightest if they can turn a blind eye to such obvious and extreme levels of corruption in their very castle. All the extreme negative stuff contrasts with the normalcy of the main character's personality.
Giving a character the short end of the stick in life will not protect them from becoming a Mary Sue; so keep that in mind.
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to that I have to say two things.
1) You mean GARY-STU, Mary is for females,
2) ...how exactly? Gary-stu by definition means that everything is handed on silver plate, the guy is literally homeless, no friends, cursed, and be an alicorn so far has only make his situation worse. Twilight is leagues more a Mary-Stu so far so what is your point?
Also, more than corruption I say this fall more into incompetence, and Shiitake has a point. She did routine work investigating if a homeless need help. Wouldn't be strange and changeling behavior if he doesn't have any record? no past, no birth, no nothing. And has been operating for a long time everywhere.
Yes the police there were simply assholes, but tell me, doesn't that sound like something Chrysalis would have done? Disrupt peace and generate panic? So far Shiitake is just been paranoid and impulsive but that is it.
11873241Mary Sue and Gary Stu are mostly interchangeable and can be used in gender-neutral contexts
He may not be a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu yet (and not in the obvious definition), but he has the potential to share similar problems. Because there seems to be a focus on extremes. Extreme negatives vs extreme positives in the different character outlooks. I could go into more detail if you wanted. It's hard to put into words.
Corruption and incompetence in of themselves aren't unrealistic. But they are taken to absolute extremes here. I cannot, in any stable society, see someone being arrested straight from a hospital bed while still recovering from injuries, and it would be a massive failing of any society for any pony to think that to be okay. The mayor pony here is also very over-top cliche.
Course, it is your story so I shouldn't be too critical of your choices. I don't want to discourage you.
11873248
Ah ok, yeah that seems fair. And for the most part I will try to balance both good and bad things here, to avoid just that. I want to make things interesting.
I agree the Mayor is over the top, I was mostly thinking how in the show there were soldiers that were like that, but I will keep your notes in mind
11873133
Delores Umbridge? Is that you as a pony???
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OH SHIT, DOES ANYONE KNOW RAT CPR?!
Definitely needs a quite a bit more polish grammar and sentence structure wise, but aside from that an interesting start.
Definitely needs some work in the grammar department..... But, I like where this is going.
11874615
Damn if only Eddy Murphy was here