- Member Since 9th Oct, 2016
- offline last seen Monday
Bolbrony
I am from Bolivia and I like read this fanficitions and I know enough english to understand the fics.
Bolbrony
Joined 9th Oct, 2016 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Bolbrony · 129k words · 23 8 · 745 views
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Wait a minute hold on.... is that post to be Prince Blueblood?
Yes, it belonged to Prince BlueBlood, but I don't understand what happened there, I wrote his name correctly, I think, now I'm going to always check if I write their names correctly.
I admire the effort you're putting into this, and I wish to see it continue, but you definitely need someone who better understands English to do a HEAVY proofread of this chapter and any future ones. It's mostly sentence structure and grammer issues, but they are numerous and constent. The story doesn't flow well at all because of it. I'm also pretty sure this is the first time I've seen someone use a hyphen at the start of a dialogue. This might need a complete rewrite from top to bottom.
I upvoted to offset the negativity a bit as I don't want you to quit. However, if you get a good proofreader to help you then you will most likely start getting more positive feedback.
11416422
Thanks for your advice, I'll take more time to translate them properly so it doesn't seem so weird.
Your grammer is really rough my friend
This chapter is a vast improvement in comparison to the last one. Although, there is still room to iron some things out. Especially with some grammer and pacing.
I like how realistically you are setting things up for the future. With this kind of subject matter it's easy to make this into a situation with a clear cut villain and victim, but you seem to be avoiding that.
11456995
Thank you, the advice you gave me helped a lot, but as I said, English is not my mother lenguage and I may have missed something in the translation, but yes, the margin of error is less and less each time.
And with the story, well yes, I like to make fanfics that have a unique touch. And that the unexpected happens, but of course, that it makes sense in the long run and is not something taken out of nowhere.
oh great faust this story looks very interesting
Why did this chapter's title give me a foreboding feeling?
That's Season 8, not 7.
11474785
Ohh, I have to correct that, thanks for noticing.
No idea if I want to read the story or not. The synopsis is so obnoxiously vague that I don't have a clue what the story is about. Might want to either add in more detail or maybe give a little author's note with a tad more descriptive depth to entice viewers in. And no, the fetish and character tags aren't good enough to get an idea of what the story is.
for some reason, maybe i was wrong. I feel that Luna's plan will not turn out as she expected.
11509357
It is a yes and a no at the same time.
11509113
Oh, thanks for the advice, I'll see what changes I make to the description to make it more attractive to read my fanfic
damn this is going to get out of hand
Well, aren't we left with a lot of cliffhangers? And oh boy, I hope Vic can live in peace where ever he ends up.
11532361
Yeah.
i feel bad for out main cahracter a bit.
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I also wonder if he knocked up any of the princesses
11532569
Given that we have four potential fathers for each child and vic went last. I'd say his chances are good on not being the father. But given the amount of potions involved who knows. But if he is they have to find him first. So unless someone placed a tracker on him. Or follows his trail, which I don't see happening as they have much more pressing matters to attend to first. Like the potential divorce, shining's trial or cover up of his crimes, whatever Blueblood has planned. Vic seems like a low priority right now.
You said my throat I think you mean her throat
I noticed you say she a lot when you mean he use a me meet her and you sometimes say he when you mean she I’m just curious is English or not your first language is it Spanish usually a gender language
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Yes, it is not my first lenguage
11533144
Yes, sometimes I miss a word when I correct the translator because as you noticed it is not my first language and my English is not good enough to write everything in English from the beginning but it is enough to understand grammatical mistakes and correct them.
1153
Yes, all chaos since that is what happens when you take zebra potions without a prescription.
11532361
It's that I prepare a whole world for it, so that it lasts longer and sexual situations don't end so quickly.
damn what an end, I'm speechless my respects
I'm most curious about the sequel, let's see if there are mares like Zecora or Manes 7, it would be poetic if Vic ended up fucking twilight between the cliffhangers. the one that aroused my curiosity the most is blueblodd's plan
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Thanks, everything is going to get out of control in the sequel in more ways than one, hehe. just have a little patience
Hope Vic impregnated the princesses, striped foals would make a good scandal.
11534551
I cannot wait
I'm going to guess that English isn't your first language. Interesting concept for a story but I couldn't read it for how bad the grammar errors were
is this supposed to be "as he writhed in pain"?
Also intresting, and hot, start.