• Member Since 26th Nov, 2017
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Even the smallest idea can become a great story

Comments ( 734 )

First comment and I’ll see with my own eyes how this plays out. Thank you.

The prologue is quite the experience in the good way. We got a bit of the protagonist as a person and now we move onto the GAME.

This chapter was like the five stages of grief but written in a marvelous way.

La historia tiene un comienzo prometedor, la función del “GAME” no es prioritaria y le haces funcionar de una forma maravillosa al crear un inicio al estilo “New birth” en lugar de ocupar un cuerpo.

Es como mencionaste previamente, no se trata del tan llamado héroe ni los monstruos vendrán a él. Él solo está viviendo una vida más.

Buena suerte (Put the translator on), yo tambien he leido las novelas y webcomics.

The way this story is written give us the emotion described, I empathize because of the emotions and the way is written. You, good sir, are a good author and writer.
(I clicked the right button and pressed on ‘cut’ by accident and I thought

You have my attention dear author and I'll be keeping an eye out for further updates. :twilightsmile:

[Unicron heritage]
Unicorns are from birth on talented in the arts of controlling both Aether and Mind, even if it put the average horned pony to great risk of being corrupted without having a way to stabilize these two forces.
Intelligence by 25% minor spelling error. on a better note. story is amazing so far, prehaps ill have something other than article IV to look forward to :D

I haven't seen that error despite checking several times. I thank you for the help and I am happy that you are enjoying this story.

My ears, those weird flaps of meat and skin, rotated abruptly into the direction of the mare next to me, taking the words in like a net, deciphering and decoding in an attempt to fully understand her words. Star Touch. Perhaps one day, I will live up to that name, and my stats will indeed touch the stats.

The last part is confused with “and my stats will indeed touch the stars”.

I just one upped a german saying that basicaly means that something reaches the ceiling because it is so high. Or the saying to reach the stars.

I really enjoy this story it's a nice twist to the gamer ability that helps this story to stand out keep up the good work!!!:raritywink:

I am happy that you enoy this story and the mystery of the game will sadly not be revealed for quiet a while so have fun reading this little journey.

I hate waiting for the next chapter in stories

So do I, but these fingers sadly can't write as fast as I can think :(

For a new Dawn character sheet, you forgot to add the name Star Touch

When will the next chapter be out I wonder

Not sure. I wrote all chapters up to now during my holiday break, but I already have nearly 2k writen. The next few weeks should not be too hard so I doubt it will be too long until the next update.

This might or might not be a stupid question but is Gentle Touch pregnant?

That will be explained once the story has advanced a bit further, but no, at the moment she isn't pregnant. No question is dumb, but not asking someone is, my smart reader.

Are you gone skip head to the point were he is old enough to go to school

Not yet. The first week or two will still be mentioned along with the first dungeon trip (maybe) before the years will pass. But I agree that it will be necessary for the story not to grow stagnant. I'll just have to not add too many or few stat points after the skip.

though i would love to see a story go long. at the current pace its gonna be 300 or so chapters before he's a year old. i do hope these things either get slightly shorter. or cover several days. not to say the detail isn't great. but this infant stuff isn't going to be interesting for to long even with the GAME here to keep spicing all this stuff up

be a candidate for this words SCP foundation.

Do not worry, only the next two or so weeks will happen before the time skip, and the next chapters should also have a much faster pace. I agree that it would become boring over long periodes of time.

I LOVE this story and I hope you continue!

Then I have a little suprise for you. The chapter is written and only needs a bit of editing. I'm not promising, but the next chapter should be released within the next 24 hours.

Thanks for the chapter. ^^

10076836 That is a WONDERFUL surprise! Oh, such consistency with the updates! I adore this story already.

Meelee Proficiency (Novice)

also, i must say that switching to bold text 3/4ths in is a massive eyesore. and though i dont plan to reread the whole thing to spellcheck i can assure you there are a few other ones.

Ummmmm...so something the game said earlier peaked my intrest. If john ever gets pent up... will the game take control and... relieve him??? Will that even happen in the story???

I have never thought about it, but since the Game does have complete control over his body it's technically a yes. Though I doubt it will ever be used in the story.

Oh, that was actually an error. I must have deleted one of the symbols that limts the thick text. It should be corrected now. Is there anything else you might want to tell about the chapter?

I smirk revealed itself on my face,

I instead of A

Wisdome: Wisdome describes the user's ability to act on instinct as it sharpens their senses and allows for better decision making where information is lacking. High levels of Wisdome

self explanatory

It was actually more beautiful than I initially thought with literally dozens of stalls and shops placed every,

every is out of place

'Wait, you gotta be kidding me right now, there ain't no way that this is the name of this city!' I thought in outrage and shock.

doubled 'this' does not read well imo

"Now... where is it?" Gentle Touch asked herself as she looked through the somewhat limited amount of books present, though then again, if they were anything like the toddle books from Earth,

As prompted i have reread the chapter, picked up a few things i missed along the way too, great chapter nonetheless.

I wonder when the next chapter will be out

I didn't want to make an update, but basically my school decided that the idea of doing school on a Saturday would be a good idea, which meant I was not able to write Friday as I had to get to bed much earlier. The chapter is already longer than the other ones, and with the delay, it might take another week before it gets released. But I am continuously working on it.

Cool and do you best off the story and on it because you are awesome

Thanks, all the support I get is really a great boost for writing. I hope you have a nice day.

*The sex tag is for the mentioning of sex, detailed descriptions of it as
well as the few scenes where sexual moments and or organs might be mentioned. If actual sex scenes will take place is something I am not
entirely sure yet.*

But... There isn't a sex tag.

Opps... I seem to have made quiet the mistake there. Thanks for informing me.

You should do another story like this but he chooses the mage class

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