Wuten
Joined 28th Apr, 2012 ·
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looking forward to reading this
Nice.
I can very much empathize with Anon, but I can't fathom why he did things the way he did. The grace of a bull mid seizure in a China shop.
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I can easily fathom it, but absolutely does not mean I agree with it. His logic was sound, but his methods were flawed through and through. All the more reason to show his flaws in the open, that he may yet start to make amends. He's got all the time in the world, after all...~
Banger glad to see you write again :)
Don't leave us waiting for this long ever again please, and don't leave YouTube either, we lost StraightToThePointStudios to the YouTube Copyright Crap late last year and we don't want to lose you too!
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Only way you'd lose me permanently is grievous injury or death, I'll always be creating whether MLP or not~
Oh I really hope his immortality isn’t from a potion he has to keep taking. That’s just begging someone to steal it.
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:3c
Love that you used The Sub Orchid Elixir from Pathfidner. I kind of caught on to where you were heading reading before you mentioned it by name.
The story so far is amazing and I hope you release more chapters soon.
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Yup, that one was a deep cut for my Youtube D&D stream fans~ glad to see someone caught it!
I like it so far!
A bit heavy-handed on all the eternal depth and celestial etherial-ness. But otherwise I like the idea of two ancient beings reunited and struggling with modern vernacular.
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I'll be the first to admit to succumbing occasionally to purple prose lol
Glad you're enjoying it all the same!
Eyyyy Wuten! Nice story!
dang interesting start. I'm going to be honest when i first look at this i was not expecting a lot but when i started reading i started to get glued to it and i did not expect it to be really good I'm looking forward to what comes next.
While I have nothing against the story, it felt jarring when speaking lines taken from the show snapped into overly verbose fan interpretations of how Luna talks.
I'm sure it doesn't matter much, though. Disregarding that, welcome back
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Totally understandable. For what it's worth, I actually debated on that start for a while before deciding to leave it in, so you aren't the only one who had those thoughts!
There was an early draft I had written up where it was just Anon walking into town to start, but it seemed rather bland in comparison.
I actually really liked the jump to fancy olde speake, although with such a long chapter it was getting a bit grating by the end. Maybe if more characters join in with standard speech there will be enough to provide some variety.
As it stands my biggest complaint is that Anons story doesn’t make a whole lot of sense so far. Maybe with further explanation it will, but it doesn’t make much sense about why he was completely cut off from communication for all these years. Even serving as a servant and apprentice it seems he should have been able to send letters to explain to Luna why he was unable to return. And why leave on the wedding night? That seems needlessly cruel for no reason. He’s abandoning Royal duties either way, seems pointless to leave before the big wedding and honeymoon.
I was expecting something like being imprisoned and forced to serve for a thousand years as payment, something he couldn’t escape from our communicate out of, but it sounds more like he just worked a job.
Despite this I did enjoy this first chapter, I hope there will be regular updates, something like this will be hard to read if it’s very infrequent since there’s a lot to keep in mind between each chapter.
Well, that’s one way to start off a story. But since it’s Luna, I’m all for it! That and I’m immensely intrigued to see how this goes. Oh, and I’m just waiting for the drawback to having everlasting life in a bottle/vile. There’s always bound to be drawbacks to something like this…
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Understandably the first chapter is a lot of setup and a lot of story seeds planted. Hopefully I'll be able to deliver on them~
And yes there will be more than just Luna and Anon talking, especially in the next few bits. Guards, nobles, and even Celestia herself speak in much more modern tongues, so it should give a bit of a break between the archaic speech.
Fundemental things wrong aside, a inovative concept with youths folly. Anon and Luna both have been without love for a thousand years.......
Not much would differ if they ended up alone now aswell..............
Interesting yet sort of unbelievable...................
Im waiting for more.... post haste my good writer
(ye olde speak, love it)
Can't wait for more
8/10
Perfect but for the fact that there's no violence nor lewdary.
Also, at the risk of killing the mood;
THE CBT ANON WILL ENDURE SHALL BE SLOW AND MERCILESS
Obsession driven by obsession. What a monumental fuck-up. Quite frankly, I can't see any love between them. Not again. Friendship, perhaps, but no love. The wounds are too deep to ignore- to forget what caused them. It would be an ever-looming shadow over any relationship they could have and it would likely tear them apart worse than last time.
A truly glorious story, i just can't wait for the next chapters!
Damn that's a good start.
Looking for a solution to his mortality problem without apparently trusting Luna enough to share his concerns and maybe even just ask her to help him did not bode well for Anon’s whole enterprise from the beginning, I’d say. That relationship would seem to have been flawed from the start, and now showing up a whole millennium later with, basically, a “Hi honey, I’m back!”...yeah, I kind of wonder what our protagonist was even expecting. (Even if the whole Nightmare Moon incident had never happened, a thousand years would have been plenty of time for her to get married several times over if she’d felt so inclined -- imagine walking in on your flame from all those years ago and her current husband.
)
Shall be tracking this to see where it goes from here, though.
Wouldn’t it have been in Luna’s interest for him to be immortal too. He should’ve just told her, made plans and maybe she could’ve gone with him. He had very little reason to not say anything about what he was gonna do.
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Glad to see that folks' gears are turning at possible solutions and scenarios; rest assured I've already taken a lot of these into account for future chapters, it's just a matter of me getting the time to write them out proper.
I wanna just call Anon an idiot and leave it at that, but assuming what he did was genuinely the only way for him to obtain immortality… I don’t know.
If he stays, I suppose there’s a short stretch of everything being swell right up until his hair starts graying and reality crashes down on them. Then, with their obligations forcing them to stay put, it just becomes a long torturous stretch as Anon fades away and Luna probably becomes increasingly desperate to find a way to save her husband.
I think both choices end in absolute heartbreak and Nightmare Moon, but with the one Anon took… at least they’re both still alive?
As an added bonus, Luna hasn’t turned him into a pile of ash yet!
Great start, looking forward to seeing more.
Okay, I must say Anon was wrong for leaving her at the altar. I mean there's literally ways to find immortality without doing that. He could just say that to Luna that he's gonna travel to find something that doesn't make him die of age and maybe Luna understands that and probably come along too to be with her lover. I don't know if Anon's plans were to "surprise" her that he's now technically immortal like "Tada! I'm immortal now, we could really be together this time!". That was not a well thought out plan. Though probably born out of a sense of inadequacy of being engaged to an immortal as a mortal, that in itself is a can of worms that I'm not about to crack open. Still, a plan not well thought out. Celestia might even have some choice words to say to him.
Interesting premise, though! Love your work! Keep it up!