Interesting that you modify the story about an hour or so after I read it for the first time, at The Lost Narrator's suggestion. You do need an editor to smooth out some of the grammar/spelling mistakes, though.

Other than that, this was probably the most effective horror story I've ever read.

7333414 Glad you enjoyed the story.

Most of the spelling 'mistakes', like the British spelling of the word liquorice and the southern speech, are intentional.

The modifications were mainly because this was the only story in the series that wasn't divided into chapters. I hope that the chapter titles will also help people have an easier time following the timeline. (I've gotten so many people that keep thinking it's a plot hole that Applebloom is alive in the story after her death scene that it's become a little vexing now.)

Tell The Lost Narrator I said 'hi' and I hope she's feeling better.

7333433 Well I figured that for most of the spelling errors, but there were still a fair amount that were actual errors.

And yeah, Lost is doing fine, last I saw (this past Sunday) so I'll be sure to send her your regards.

Before I read... is this based on the movie "Trick or Treat"?

I don't normally read scary fics because I don't usually find them, but I love a good horror game, so I'll add this to my (lol) ever-growing read later list, and get back to it later. So many interesting-looking fics, and so little lifespan!

7333532 It's one of the things it was inspired by, but no, it wasn't based on the movie.

7333452 Well, if there are any particularly glaring errors you remember, feel free to point them out in an IM.

Scary as hell. Liked, added to The Best

Thank you for making separate chapters. When I first read this, I had to do it in one go. It was fun, but a little annoying seeing how long it is.
...
I digress. Thank you again.

7336163 You're very welcome.

It's nice that you've split this into seprate chapters, but at the same time I miss the old format.

7454235 I do too, honestly.
I just got too many complaints about it being too easy for first time readers to lose their place or feel as though they had to read the entire thing in one go. While I would prefer to think the story is short enough, and captivating enough, that a reader would want to finish it in one go I also know different people read at different paces. your mileage may vary.

Howeverm, It is preserved in its original format, errors and all, in the Explicit FiM Fan Fiction Archive.

7454304 I understand how some people may have had problems with the old format and that this change was something that needed to happen, but you may be pleased to hear that I found the story both short and captivating enough to read in one go. I also thought that the story had a sort of campfire ghost story feel to it that is all but ruined by splitting it up. either way, this is still one of my favorite grim/darks. Also, thanks for the link, that is awesome.

hungry......

I just realized that you could just put the whole story the way it was before you split it into chapters as it's own chapter after all the other ones.

images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35000000/Creepypasta-creepypasta-35029583-750-600.jpg .......fuck, there goes me sleeping tonight

One Word "Damn".

7717024 That is a good lesson.

This is definitely one of my favorite horror stories I've ever read

This was really fun to read. Good job

7778860 Thank you!

Soooooooo.... I- Wow! Who what? WHY? Twilight, why the fk didn't you send a letter to Princess Luna in the first place?!

Cool story though! Not gonna read it ever again, but cool story!

Wait! Fk! So when Rarity ate the candy the candy mare left at her doorstep, she turned into a marshmallow?! SO THAT MEANS FLUTTERSHY SURVIVED ONE OF THESE HORROR STORIES FOR ONCE!!!

7844264 For a given value of 'survived'. She did have a sweet taste in her mouth, although she didn't remember eating any candy...

7844402 Oh........... st........ I'm going to read the second one now. God damn!

I am not the biggest gore story fan, but I must say one thing: you did a great job on this story! It was scary and that's what u were going for.

I approve.

I haven't read this i listened to it on YouTube and its sooo goddamn disturbing but its a good read and i recommend it. and if you think its stupid without reading it ,Fuck you and your family.

can someone tell me what happens in spoilers because I don't want to read it..

Hi hihi! I have a problem that I explain: I am French and I would like to know this story more than anything except that I am very nil in English ... "How do I understand this, in particular, that Google translation n 'Is not reliable ... :( And I think no French will translate it before the years: (especially that nothing scares me "except for the vergots" beurk ... :) I can not believe A Candy pony can scare someone? I hope to be surprise (Candymare I come! Make me piss me off !!) Help me please :)) thank C: sorry for the mistakes :/

8220335
Quelqu'un travaille sur une traduction en français.

Vous devez contacter Nomad Flicker pour plus de détails.

Je ne sais pas jusqu'à quel point ils sont, mais ils seraient votre meilleur espoir.

Ohhh merci merciii!!!!!!!!!!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🍬🍬🍬

Wow. I've never cried out of fear before. This isn't like Cupcakes or Sweet Apple Massacre, where it evokes a natural feeling of revulsion to gore and death. This was fear, a primordial fear that I don't think i've felt before. When I first heard about this story, I thought it would be silly, and I do have some problems with it, but the fact that it pumped me with enough adrenaline to skyrocket my heart rate and keep me awake all night from the first chapter alone proves how wrong I was. And it was so good! I love how the type of horror changes through the story. How it starts with suspense and classic bump in the night fear, then leads to unholy heart crushing dread after the fluttershy chapter, then finally to a queasy and sick gut wrenching feeling at the end when it all comes to a disgusting climax. The short lull in the story near the end, after the false victory but before the inevitable, that had to be one of the longest and most intense twenty minutes of my life. This is easily the best piece of horror media i've ever consumed, I congratulate you on significantly lowering my life expectancy!

Wow. Just wow. I can't remember the last time I read a story that was this unsettling.

Well this looks promising. Shame I found it so far from nightmare night. Guess I'll just be back in about six months.

8282047
Will you give the candymare a roar? Whitch is discribed to be a thousand screaming corpses, like a death whistle?

9224724
I imagine she could produce such a sound and has on occasion.

She prefer to stick to childlike singing and giggles most of the time though. It's more fun that way.

9225589
May I borrow the candeymare for one of my stories? I was thinking of an alternate version of the candeymare, when she was actualy a successful sales pony who was infected py a Plegue that turns other species (including ponie) into monsters based off their negative persona. Triggered by stream emotion, or stress.

The childlike singing and giggling; including the roar I came up with, had came from the fact that the virus was erationalized her head to the point of insanity and cannibalism. Whitch were the sintoms other than her monstrous transformation.

In something sweet to bite, the siantist kidnapped the filly and uses it as an exparament. In my story however, he was her husband and the candymare was a young adult; unlucky; depressed: and pessimistic. The scientist is trying to cure the virus that she had been infected with, but she ran away from him k owing that she might kill him if she had stayed. But unfortunately it backfired, thus losing control and kills her husband. And now she's on the loose looking for pony flesh.

What the candeymare looks like before she was a monster, she looks like pinkamena, but her coat was a darker pink color, and her mane and tail are red. Her cutie Mark is a beignet with two candy corn pointing at it like arrows (In the shape of a candy wrap). But as a monster, her cutie Mark disapeared

9225869
You've kind of changed enough that you might as well make it entirely separate character from the Candy Mare. If you still want to claim her as inspiration that is fine, but from the sound of it you have a decent idea for a stand alone story.

9225912
The reason why I want to barrow the candeymare. It's because the candeymare from my story is a sepperate entity from something sweet to bite.

For example the unicron from the classic transformers movie is a sepperate entity from the multiverse singularity unicron.

The candeymare from my story is also a different character, instead of a childlike personality, the personality of my oun version of the candeymare is basically a violent alter ego she cannot control. She has lost her friends; her career;and has fallen to despair. And her despair leads her to madness. I want my oun version to be more of a tragic villain. I may not pit it on fimfiction, I might put it on YouTube who knows.

Keep in mind I was following under fair use, like the cute Mario bros on YouTube falling under fair use. I was doing something transformitive

9226295
Do as you like, so long as you give credit to me as the original author, go nuts.

However, please leave any future corrispondence to private messages so we don’t end up cluttering the comment section here, thanks.

9226469
How do I give credit? I understand how fair use works but... do I have to put a link to the original fic and your profile?

Also have you played or even seen YouTube videos if the god of war series?

I am a huge fan of god of war and was planing to make a mythos out of it

9240869
Just one line "original story and character "Candy Mare" created by Knackerman'.

9241286
Thanks

9241286
I finished the story All ready what do you think of the story I made about a diffrent origin story of the candeymare allthough it is simaler to something sweet to bite i edmit

Link to the story
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/422075/what-a-fright

9241286
What do you think of the story I have read?

Dude, for some reason I'm feeling that they should make a movie of this or a comic. You know? Or sell this amd turn into a book. But this story is amazing, creepy and has some twisted ending. I love it!!! Wait.... Did Fluttershy Died?? I got a little lost so, did she died??