- Member Since 14th Oct, 2015
- offline last seen Yesterday
Unwhole Hole
Digging it deeper. Always deeper.
Unwhole Hole
Joined 14th Oct, 2015 ·
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Yep, I recognize Spoiled's persona. Still makes me want to crawl through my computer screen and hit her with an arbitrary sharp, blunt or poisonous object. Written just the way she should be.
Wow, this story is bombing. I kind of expected it would. If anyone cares to tell me why, it would certainly be helpful.
7546172 100.000 words in one go, it's too much to read. That will deter a lot of people. You should have post chapter by chapter, one chapter per week, so people won't be discourageb by the lenght and your story wouldn't sink unnoticed so quickly and easily.
7558863 Thank you. That is helpful. Unfortunately, I do not know how to post one chapter at a time. It is not well explained in the how-to for this site.
Oh yes! The same high-quality, slow burning horror I remember from Desert Water, only it feels even more sinister this time. If I recall correctly, in Desert Water it was never much of a question that there was some vexing presence in the old mansion. It was never in question whether the malevolent force was physically real or not. Here, I am not so sure. From what I have seen so far, everything is in Diamond's mind, while in Desert Water Silver Spoon saw the same things she did and was able to help her friend keep her sanity. Now she is all alone.
I fear the worst is yet to come for Diamond Tiara. This time I fear she will have to face the darkness alone.
This is going to be a good read, even if I wish the chapter length was shorter later on. Finding time to read a near thirty thousand word chapter in one sitting is hard. Just thought you should know.
Eat your heart out, Franz Kafka.
I thought it was a good story. In my opinion you have written better stories but this is still a good one and it does stand on its own. I always have mixed feeling with your stories cause once I start reading them I know I wont be able to put it down until I have finished it. Which honestly is very rare with the stories I have read here.
Even stories you have might consider not as good as others can still do that to me.
Dagon? As in, God of the Deep Ones?
I don't quite get the ending.
It was left vague as to whether or not it was real or hallucinations, and it seems rather forced. A "gotcha for the sake of a gotcha" kind of thing. Like the end of The Descent Part 2. That is my only issue with this story, but it is a pretty glaring one.
Maybe if it had been just a few chapters longer to show a) that Diamond was really insane, and that twist is what finally breaks her, and destroys her entire life, or b) it was all real, and Diamond has to watch as everything and everyone she loves is torn asunder, that twist wouldn't be an issue for me.
That being said, this was still phenomenal. So tense and atmospheric, creeping and eerie. The first story in this duology, I give a complete, unabashed 10/10. This sequel, because of how I felt about the end, is docked down to a 7/10. Taken as a whole, both stories together get a rough 9/10.
Idk if you're still writing, but if so, keep up the good work. Your stories in general are extremely underrated, both on this site as a whole, and in the horror community, and they shouldn't be. Your works should be as grossly overpopular as Anthropology at the very least.
~ Silver Hoof
All I can say is wow! This story is so good and severely underrated! I recently finished another one of your works (This is the Last Train Car) and had been thinking that it was my favorite horror story on here, but this one blows it out of the water (which is really saying something because I personally think it's one of the best horror stories that I've read here). I look forward to reading the rest of your works!
I actually really enjoyed this story. Admittedly this one was a little harder to follow than its predecessor: with the world constantly shifting and all, but that did a good job of getting you into the mindset of Diamond Tiara, who was constantly disoriented by the world constantly shifting. I also thought you tied it all up at the end pretty well, considers all the unraveling mystery.
Honestly, I really hope one day we get to see more of DT and Diamond Pick, even if it's not in a horror setting. The two of them and Silver Spoom make a fun main cast and you write them really well. Their chemistry was always a pleasure to read.
Also, I do think my reading of this story was benefitted by having read Hand of Doom and Penumbra Heartbreak first. As, having done that, a lot of the things featured in this story where things I had seen and knew glimpses of, but this story flashes them out far more. As its stands it was a cool elaboration on the Morlocks, the yellow mare, and the pale alicorns.
Overall I loved it! And as always I enjoyed peeking into your take on canon, and it held my attention the whole way through. Good shit.
Holy crap, this was an intense chapter.
Honestly unsure how I feel about this. I thought, as always, it was really well-written, and it was great to come back to these characters.
But I guess that I still want some sort of closure regarding "hallucinations" vs. "reality." I respect the decision to leave it open-ended, but to me, the story feels incomplete as a result.
I did enjoy this (and Desert Water) a lot, though. Thank you for writing.
Humm...It's funny, but the ending doesn't read quite as 'HAHA vat a tweest!' to me as you get from some horror movie endings, because it's fairly well established (at least in the Seventh World canon, and as she says here as well) that Satin does win in the end, regardless. At least if you take everything as real, she basically has no reason to do anything particularly bad right now because in the blink of an eye DT's soul is gonna be hers. So, she could literally just be here to poke at her 'friend' for all the difference it makes...though when I say it like that it sounds like an 'odd couple' sitcom. Though...huh, if she does have Harvestor here, that would imply that she kept him alive through him pulling a star down on them, since alicorns don't have souls.
Overall I'd agree with some others that it feels a bit...annoyingly open? as to what (if much of anything) was real. I suppose especially since, given your other works, the 'hallucinations' fit entirely plausibly into the 'real world'. Or...I suppose the flip side would be that the 'real world' of the Unwhole Hole meta-canon is largely plausible as a hallucination of some character or another.
I suppose the other big question to me is whether Diamond's 'brain worms' and the cacti in general are Satin's work, or just bystanders, and also whether they're actually detrimental, or were trying to help or in some other way on the neutral/good side of things (Harvestor does call them symbiotes).
Taking everything here at face value would certainly boost the status of Satin a bit in the overall pantheon, since she at least believes herself capable of consuming/assimilating Dagon. Though maybe that's just hubris, since the fact that Harvestor calls Twilight a 'protothebe' implies a rather broad multiversal (or trans-temporal) view of reality that I'm not sure Satin has ever matched. Also interesting that Dagon is stated to be the last of a whole species, but looking back I guess this is heavily implied in other fics (that blue-lit machines/flowers were present on Equestria, along with dragons, before the Aurasi were created).
That said, at the same time for me the goings-on here reinforce the split (or parallel world thing) between the Seventh World canon and Hand of Doom canon, if they can even be said to be two well defined and wholly separate things. This world and this Satin feel less like the Penumbra ones and more like Strange Alchemy (although nowhere near as extreme...but perhaps time mellows both universes and their 'gods').
I'm not sure whether I agree that it was better to have read other fics before this. I did see the 'twist' of Lucy's identity coming (even caught the four alicorns thing), but...maybe that's not a bad thing. The whole deal might have felt very out of left field and confusing if I didn't have prior knowledge of Satin and how things work in this multiverse. In this way I do agree that Strange Waters was a more complete story in that it was very self-contained.
Still an enjoyable ride, and I really do like Diamond, Diamond, and Silver and their little microcosm. Despite all the questionable reality in this story, as characters they feel more 'real' and down-to-earth than others.
Oh my god that's- Jesus. Fuck me, holy shit.
My cousin's mother treats her exactly the way Spoiled is treating DT. This is gonna be a hard read for me, but I can't resist sequels.
Wew, that's some SPICY family drama to start things off, especially first thing in the morning! I wonder if they keep this up during the few social situations where those two have to be seen together, or if they try and keep it suppressed with subdued, but no less cutting commentary between each other. Along with wondering which kind of social interaction would be more entertaining.
Oh I hope this comes back later to be 100% true.
She really should have looked into having those brain worms removed.
I enjoyed the story as a whole, the character development was good, as were the settings and overall plot, though the ending seemed a bit rushed and had a few too many twists that seemed to come out of left field.
Luciferian!