This story is a sequel to Little Filly Lost
Stunningly beautiful, high class, and extremely wealthy, Jasmine Chapeau was nothing like my typical clients. Only then I went and botched the job, lost the client, and almost died. I’ve never failed a client before. And by Celestia, I’m not starting now.
Chapter one was written for Bicyclette's A Thousand Words contest in 2022. The feedback was clear: a cliffhanger ending just wouldn’t do. So now we have the rest of the story.
Thanks to OConnerGT-R for pre-reading, Airy Words for proofreading, and PopMediaVagabond for editing.
Cover art by: •rae•#0800 (discord), @raeano06 (Instagram).
Chapters (10)
And now I want to read more
Great job, you certainly know how to catch your audience's attention
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This does sound like chapter 1 of something longer. You could go read his full-length stories.
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Already did that, all of them
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Great. There's another one on the way (draft complete, about ready to go into pre-read). It's a bit darker, and more intense than any previous Dark Steel story.
Can’t have a detective story without a cliffhanger in the first 1,000 words!
I get that this was written for a 1000 word prompt/contest but I beseech you to keep this one going, I am feeling curious about this scenario and this mystery mare.
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I'll make you a promise. I can't force ideas, but if I wake up in the middle of the night and realize who this mystery mare is, I will follow up on it.
On the other hand (as noted below) I have another Dark Steel story draft completed, and a working idea for the sequel after that.
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Absolutely, the beseeching was meant in a melodramatic teasing manner anyway. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Classic detective story starting, checked. Making people want to know what's coming up next, checked. The detail that shows it has a connection with other stories, checked. The day we can see more of it, not checked.
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All we can do is hope that one day, Jasmine tells me what the case is.
I believe I said this before, but I’ll say it again, you’ve gotten really good at pulling readers in. I forgot I was reading a story with only a thousand words. I think the worst part about that is this sounds like a really interesting lead in to a good story that I’ll never know.
Keep up your hard work, it’s paying off with each story entry.
Don’t let it go to your head though. 
Where's chapter 2?
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Hehe. As noted below, if I find out what the case is, I'll document it. We'll have to wait and see.
In the interim, my I recommend some of his other cases in the Dark Steel series.
That was a interesting story. I hope we get a sequel someday.
An excellent first scene... but I have to ding you for only writing that first scene. I know, fitting a whole story into a thousand words is an incredibly tight squeeze, but that's part of the challenge of the contest. That said, this was still some outstanding noir. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
ah, great noir line to set the mood!
oh no! feeling useless as a private detective and as a noir protagonist that's supposed to come up with clever analogies all of the time for the reader!
yeah, i really would have too, with such a description! very vivid and alluring, love it
ehehe, classic!
aww, love how this small gesture says so much about how she feels in a place like this
hehe, nice way to get some exposition in natural dialogue
aww, that is exactly what all the fedora wearers say!
aww, evaluating the skills of various detectives and agencies by hiring them to investigate oneself, classic! though with too many they start to layer up on each other like this, making the investigations a clue to follow themselves
aww, i really want to know what it is, but an actual reveal without any remaining mystery wouldn't have been the way to go, especially with so little runway to build up to a satisfying answer directly.
this does feel like a first chapter of a larger story in a way that makes it feel less complete as a story, but a dip into this well-crafted noir atmosphere was quite fun nonetheless. thank you for it!
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Which is being written as we "speak"...
I've always been intrigued by your detective stories, and I'm glad you've decided to expand this one. Waiting for more!
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It's coming at a chapter a day through next weekend (10 total).
Stubborn earth pony genes working up, eh?
I like Steel's determination and care for others' wellbeing above his own. And I'm glad that he has some emotional and social support from Citrine and Nightly, something he'll need for the next few chapters.
Hmm, often times normal plans can turn into a complicated affair at the slightest hiccup, I can only fear how much can go very wrong when one makes plans so close to the edge of uncertainty.
Somedays it doesn't pay to be right.
I missed that detective work, it's so good
Awesome job
That was a good chapter.
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Thanks for your positive comment. It's fun to watch Steel doing what he does best.
The world is more complex than we can ever realize, and every person has a story that has not been told.
It can be so easy to takes things we see and hear at shallow value.
Hostages and negotiations, what bitter work.
The future is not going to be any easier to navigate than the past. There are still many questions with no answers and missing pieces to this puzzle.
We know the culprit had to be close to Miss Chapeau, close enough to know about the threatening notes being sent to her so they could send their own to throw off the investigators. That puts us with close friends, her legal team, and the staff of her Main Store where the notes were delivered.
Not much was given into regarding Miss Chapeau's inner circle. The socialites she encountered the most would be likely suspects, the cafe would be a good start.
It would be easy to suspect the legal team entrusted with Miss Chapeau's situation. They would be directly notified of any new note's arrival as soon as its appearance, and have some deep knowledge of her available assets to bear. I particularly find it suspiciously coincidental that Miss Chapeau was kidnapped right before the planned time after informing her attorney.
Of the Store Staff, upper management should be checked first. Considering Dark Steel's words on his initial investigation into Miss Chapeau's employees, had the general staff known about the death threats towards Miss Chapeau, Dark would have likely found someone mentioning it. Since Miss Jade is already here, asking her a few questions would be an easy start, and I'd keep a close eye on her reactions.
Those are the biggest things at this time. The only other thing I can think of right now is possibly getting a recording of the magical signature from the spell that hit Dark, that way they can cross-check it with anyone they catch that matches the description of his assailants and Miss Chapeau's kidnappers. That would be really slim now though since hours have already passed.
But those are my thoughts on the matter. I look forward to the rest.
Is there an Equestria Girls version of Jasmine Chapeau?
And so the buck stops here. All that remains now is to wrap up the remaining loose ends and fill in the gaps in the puzzle.
{ { Spoilers ahead } }
You've read the story then?
If you haven't read this story and you still want the end spoiled, why are you reading a mystery?
Anyway, with Jade now in custody getting Mr. Twillery to talk shouldn't be so hard do. All that needs done is to remind him that if Miss Jade didn't plan and order him to do this, then the kidnapping charge would be pinned on him. However, If Miss Jade did in fact plan this, and Mr. Twillery can prove it, he could ask for a plea bargain and trade information for a chance to lower his sentence. If he can prove it.
From here we can assume a thorough search of Miss Jade's office and home to possibly reveal more evidence and the testimony of Miss Chapeau should finish things up nicely.
All in a weeks work.
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Not that I know of, but she'd be stunningly beautiful.
A quick ping to all the early contest entry readers who lamented the cliffhanger ending..
I promised that when I found out what Jasmine Chapeau asked Dark Steel to do, we'd get the rest of the story. Well... here it is.
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That was a good story goodluck with whatever you write next.
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The next two stories are already written and currently in Edit. The second one is another Dark Steel story.
A minor typo I found: A crimson tale swished across her perfectly white rump.
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Fixed. Thanks.
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This would make for a great Noir-style audio drama. And I look forward to seeing what you have in store for our grit-hooved detective next.
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It's already written and paused at about two-thirds through editing. The stakes have never been higher.
Finally, the long-awaited story has come at last. Now here is what I thought about this story. I really like Dark Steel a lot. This kind of hard-boiled detective always attracts me very much. And I personally hope that it can be something like Kamen Rider W since it's a magical world filled with fantasy power. That might be asking too much, so you may ignore it. This story is good in its own way, though. So keep going.
Loved it