The Client
The city of Canterlot could be a cruel mistress. You pour all your love and attention into her, and she ignores you like a dead houseplant in the kitchen window. That's how I felt now: disregarded and desiccated. That doesn’t mean I desire you any less. Plus, business was slow. Who am I kidding? I hadn't landed a case in two weeks. A private detective without a case is about as useless as, well… a dead houseplant.
As I sat at my desk considering my place in the universe, there was a knock at the door, and she walked in. I first noticed the two pairs of shapely gams with perfectly manicured hooves. She had all the right curves in all the right places. A translucent sundress teased at her svelte figure. The forward tilt of her wide-brimmed hat shaded her eyes in mystery. She moved as if working a fashion show runway with every part of her body enticing some unseen audience. I’d have bought whatever she was selling.
This was a mare of class and distinction. So what was she doing here?
I stood up. "Good afternoon. I'm Dark Steel. Would you care to sit?" I gestured at a chair. She ran a hoof across the back and checked it for dust. After evaluating the risk to her dress, she sat down. I inhaled a hint of honeysuckle.
She lifted her head to reveal piercing blue eyes. “Good day Mr Steel. My name is Jasmine Chapeau.” My brow furrowed slightly. "I see you recognize the name."
With a single nod, I admitted, "I do."
The twinkle in her eye was both enticing and terrifying. "Please, tell me more."
I took a quick breath to refocus. "Last month, I received an anonymous retainer. The note that accompanied the rather substantial bag of bits said simply: Investigate Jasmine Chapeau. I’ll be in touch.” I opened a desk drawer and extracted a half-empty bag. There was the unmistakable metallic rattle as it landed on the desk. "Your change."
She glanced at the bag as if gauging the number of bits remaining. "Why do you assume it was I who hired you?"
I leaned back. "Do you deny it?"
After a pause, she asked, "And what did your investigation reveal?"
"You are a mare of substantial influence." That is, insanely wealthy. "You own a chain of stores located in Manehattan, Canterlot, and other large cities." Which is why you are insanely wealthy. "Those stores sell, of all things, hats." I gestured at the hat tree by the door. "My fedora was purchased from your store here in Canterlot some years ago."
She smirked. "I noticed that when I entered. A classic design that remains popular year in and year out, despite the season or the fickle whims of fashion." Her gaze returned to me. "Please continue..."
"You’ve had a long line of potential suitors over the years," Leeches looking for a free ride, "Which you have consistently turned away.” From the trail of names left in your wake, you always made the correct choice.
"Social flotsam, all of them." A nicer description than what I was thinking.
“This pattern has led to some…” I grinned, “Colorful rumors.”
A shadow of emotion crossed her face. Pain? Regret? “Rumors can hide a less desirable truth.” Probably best to move on.
"Multiple sources were consistent in describing you as a reputable business mare with an aggressive, yet honest approach. The employees I spoke with were satisfied with their jobs, salary, and working environment."
Her face lit up with a smile and I immediately understood why there had been so many stallions, and a few mares in that line. "I find that satisfied employees are both loyal and hard working. A company is only as strong as the foundation of its ponies."
“And not the owner?”
“The owner is the architect. But without that foundation, it’s destined to collapse sooner or later.” And that’s why you own a chain of successful stores.
"I also discovered I was not the only investigative archeologist to dig into this case. Some of the ponies I interviewed were amenable to the influence of a few bits and provided the names of other firms who had questioned them. It's a veritable who's who of major detective agencies with a few wild cards, like myself, thrown in."
"May I see the list?" I opened a manila folder packed with papers. “My file?” I nodded as I handed her the list. After careful review, she placed it on the desk. "Impressive. That appears to be complete."
"I am not in the habit of overlooking details in an investigation." I hefted her file to emphasize the thickness.
She scoffed, “Unfortunately, that’s not the case for the others. My research suggested you were different. That’s why I visited you last.”
"Interesting. I have learned something new in the last few minutes."
Her eyebrows lifted slightly. "Do tell."
"You like games. A psychological competition to challenge the mental agility of the participants." I've never been much of a game player myself. "What I'm uncertain about is the purpose of this particular… contest." Although I have my suspicions.
“Let’s call it an interview.” She winked.
“And have you selected somepony?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, I have.” She pulled out a bag of bits from her satchel and tossed it on the desk with a heavy thunk. It dwarfed the previous retainer and spoke of a case that would be long, dangerous, or illegal. Perhaps all three.
“You assume I’m in a position to drop everything to take on a new case?”
One of her eyebrows arched dramatically. “Please, my dear Mr Steel. I believe we’re done playing games.” She turned her hoof over to reveal a folded sheet of paper. Rather than place it on the desk, she hoofed it to me with a soft smile. I unfolded it and began to read…
I blinked a couple times and looked up. “Are you bucking serious?”
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And now I want to read more
Great job, you certainly know how to catch your audience's attention
11225600
This does sound like chapter 1 of something longer. You could go read his full-length stories.
11225612
Already did that, all of them
11225648
Great. There's another one on the way (draft complete, about ready to go into pre-read). It's a bit darker, and more intense than any previous Dark Steel story.
Can’t have a detective story without a cliffhanger in the first 1,000 words!
I get that this was written for a 1000 word prompt/contest but I beseech you to keep this one going, I am feeling curious about this scenario and this mystery mare.
11226131
I'll make you a promise. I can't force ideas, but if I wake up in the middle of the night and realize who this mystery mare is, I will follow up on it.
On the other hand (as noted below) I have another Dark Steel story draft completed, and a working idea for the sequel after that.
11226139
Absolutely, the beseeching was meant in a melodramatic teasing manner anyway. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Classic detective story starting, checked. Making people want to know what's coming up next, checked. The detail that shows it has a connection with other stories, checked. The day we can see more of it, not checked.
11227943
All we can do is hope that one day, Jasmine tells me what the case is.
I believe I said this before, but I’ll say it again, you’ve gotten really good at pulling readers in. I forgot I was reading a story with only a thousand words. I think the worst part about that is this sounds like a really interesting lead in to a good story that I’ll never know.
Keep up your hard work, it’s paying off with each story entry.
Don’t let it go to your head though. 
Where's chapter 2?
11247218
Hehe. As noted below, if I find out what the case is, I'll document it. We'll have to wait and see.
In the interim, my I recommend some of his other cases in the Dark Steel series.
That was a interesting story. I hope we get a sequel someday.
An excellent first scene... but I have to ding you for only writing that first scene. I know, fitting a whole story into a thousand words is an incredibly tight squeeze, but that's part of the challenge of the contest. That said, this was still some outstanding noir. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
ah, great noir line to set the mood!
oh no! feeling useless as a private detective and as a noir protagonist that's supposed to come up with clever analogies all of the time for the reader!
yeah, i really would have too, with such a description! very vivid and alluring, love it
ehehe, classic!
aww, love how this small gesture says so much about how she feels in a place like this
hehe, nice way to get some exposition in natural dialogue
aww, that is exactly what all the fedora wearers say!
aww, evaluating the skills of various detectives and agencies by hiring them to investigate oneself, classic! though with too many they start to layer up on each other like this, making the investigations a clue to follow themselves
aww, i really want to know what it is, but an actual reveal without any remaining mystery wouldn't have been the way to go, especially with so little runway to build up to a satisfying answer directly.
this does feel like a first chapter of a larger story in a way that makes it feel less complete as a story, but a dip into this well-crafted noir atmosphere was quite fun nonetheless. thank you for it!
11298031
Which is being written as we "speak"...