Being a detective on the Canterlot Police Force was exactly where I was meant to be. When that was taken away from me, I started down a path that was not likely to end well. Then I found a unicorn filly lost on a rainy night. I was less than enthusiastic, but I couldn’t just leave her. The search for who she belonged to sent us down a path more dangerous than I would have thought possible. The destination would change the course of both of our lives.
This is another in the spin-off series from The Quicksilver Chronicles featuring the private investigator Dark Steel.
Featured on 1/21/22 and 1/25/22.
Cover art by Calena.
Thanks to my pre-readers OConnerGT-R, Airy Words, With a special thanks to my editor EverfreePony.
Chapters (7)
Please dont be a sad story
Glad you are getting this posted. I’ll ask a few folks if they can promote this story in their blogs.
*inhales* *exhales*
Me to brain: don't you dar- oh fuck you!
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I think you'll find it a bit of a rollercoaster ride.
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True. My stories are wholesome. So, no, don't go there.
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Aye aye cap'n
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Surely I can promote this story
I like it. Eager to see where it goes.
If there's one bkc's story I really enjoyed editing, it was this one. There were some bumps here and there, sure, but there were also large sections where I could just recline and soak in the emotional atmosphere. I like when that happens. Not because it means less work for me, but because it clearly shows the author enjoyed writing the section in question and cares about it. If you're wondering whether or not you should read this story, give it a chance and read it. That is, unless you're afraid of reading about cute filies and dark mysteries.
I loved the alchemist, and I love this story
Better this than a changeling foalnapping
I’ve seen many of your stories over the years but I’ve never bothered to properly read one of them until yesterday, gotta admit I was missing out for a good long while. Now though I’m definitely going to have to read through everything.
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I'm glad you're enjoying it. We got three chapters (plus a tiny epilogue) to go. Hopefully, you'll enjoy some of the other stories too.
Congrats on the feature!
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Thank you. It's my first one, ever. But it's gone already, so not much visibility...
I’m gonna bet you have them meet Princess Celestia for the ending. You’ve already had him reject the medal he got form his first meeting with her because he was just one of the whole squad of ponies there, but now I’d imagine her attention would be focused squarely on him.
Definitely a deserved feature!
I salute the Captain of the CBI. We could use more of his type in our world.
ooh, cool
Great way to end the story. The bracelet is a nice show, not tell way to demonstrate Steel’s affection for Wildflower.
How many stories are going to be in this series?
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That will totally depend on how many viable ideas I get. There are currently three: Dark Steel (the spin off from One of Us), The Painless Murders, and Little Filly Lost. I am in early development on a forth story, but I don't know yet if it will make it to a published story. And I have three other higher priority stories in the queue to get through editing before that 4th story gets any serious attention.
All that to say: I ain't sure.
This was a great story! Well done. I'm glad that Steel and Windflower did stay good friends and keep in touch over the years. It's wonderful that he got to be a part of her life growing up from time to time while pursing his own business as well. :)
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Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Very enjoyable story.
A good story with plenty of wholesome moments, balanced with a tragic happening that paves the way for a good mystery and a well described combat scene. I enjoyed the detective aspects of it and found the writing/overall story to better than some detective novels I've read before.
A wonderful cozy-crime novella, the only thing missing was a pet cat and a tea/coffee/sweet shop.
Some thoughts:
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Thanks for the comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
On Point #1, I'm in early development of a new story in the series set some years in the future when Windflower is grown up. Of course it's too early to tell if it will make it to completion.
On Point #3, that would be the traditional feel-good ending. But I didn't want to go there, and there was no mention of her in the other story. Hence my choice. Although, given the choice you listed, I think his choice would be obvious.
Former pre-reader here just giving my thoughts on the final product.
I think I said this during your first draft, but I’ll say it again here. I really like how you went about getting Dark Steel fired here. It make sense. Dark Steel is a mighty fine detective, and I doubt he would ever present a case where he didn’t have sufficient evidence to support his claims, so in order to take him down you picked something, or rather a pair of someones, that could bend the rules due to their influence and power in society. It’s simple, but effective, and it works rather well here.
I still really like this paragraph. I’m fairly certain most people can relate to feeling down like this. I mostly relate to the part where Steel sleeps until noon.
I really like this. Standing up for what’s right always gets a thumbs up from me. A little sad it won’t change what happened to Steel, but I like the kind jester.
So that's how Dark Steel gets his fedora hat. A filly who looks similar to the ancient alchemist chose it for him. That's so cute! What an interesting and lovely new character we have here. Something tells me that she may be the important character of future stories. At least I hope so. I want to see what would happen when she meet Quicksilver and Misty. A good cozy story as usual.
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See my 2/11 comment below.
I love this interaction. Homestly, Steel’s correction was going through my head when I read Windflower’s speech error.
There should be a quotation mark in front of “We have small.”
I forgot about this part. That hits me right in the feelings.
Good emotional stuff so far
First you have an exellent emotional scene and then you ruin it by the end of the chapter
My little Reviews & Feedback
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Thanks for the review. Sounds like you enjoyed the story.
That was a good story.
*From chapter five.
I actually forgot about this little twist here. While reading this off and on I couldn't remember how Windflower's dad was caught up in all of this, glad to see he was an undercover agent rather than a criminal as the latter is what I kept thinking he was until the reveal.
I don't think I can fully articulate how much I like the epilogue. It's great to see a flash forward of where Windflower is in life, as well as where she will eventually end up as time goes on. As I said when I first pre-read this, I also like that it gives you the chance to return to Windflower in another story.
You've done a great job with this story, and the edits made it even better. You've done a good job of making the Dark Steel stories standout from the Quicksilver and Misty stories you started out with, which is a good thing for any writer to do. I look forward to seeing where you take Steel as you write more stories for him. I also think you could do something with Windflower at some point, possibly even make her own spinoff story as a law enforcement officer of some kind. Keep up the good work.
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Search your feelings. You already know it to be true.
I'm not a cop, or a detective, but from my experience as a veteran reader of various stories, I can say I like your approach.
Most of the time when I come across characters who happen upon a ransacked room/home, it is quick and details are slim or are a reach in logic. But this chapter, as well as the story thus far for that matter, feels believable.
It is nice to finally see Mr. Steel in part of his element.
Ah, how bitter-sweet. But the moments we hold dear only hold value because it must end one day.
And once it ends, we owe it to ourselves to find to the next dearly valued moment.
Mmh, how fitting.
A mare whose childhood was robbed from her by pain and loss, saved by a small but powerful act from an ex-detective--an act which also positively influenced the ex-detective--and now she goes on to begin a career to help those who are like her.
Her past has become the very fuel that pushes her ever-on upward.
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Thanks for the comments. It sounds like you enjoyed the story. I hope you'll keep reading the series.