Hello? Is anypony there?
Huh? Why is it so dark? Can somepony turn on the lights? Ugh, why does my body hurt all over? Must’ve been one heck of a crash this time, huh? I guess I was being a little too reckless again. I guess it must be night time and everypony’s gone home. But wait, that doesn’t make sense, right? There would be nurses and doctors on night shift, right? I guess I’ll just wait until somepony comes by so I can tell them to tell me what the heck happened.
Wait… what was that? I can feel some sort of vibration. Is… is somepony there? Hello? Why can’t I speak? I can’t seem to make a sound. Hello? The vibrations got closer and closer. No, not just vibrations. They were hoofsteps. Why can’t I hear them? Did I hurt my hearing somehow? Oh sweet Celestia, your hoof is cold. The pony is touching my chest. I can feel it. I have to let them know that I’m awake! Hello! Hey! I know you’re there! I’m shaking my head! Can you see me? Hello?
Oh, she pulled her hoof away. What’s that? Is… is she leaving? No, please don’t leave. No! No!
I don’t know how long I had been sitting in silence before the pony returned, but I could feel more than a few hooves enter my room. One… Two… Seven? Seven ponies? No. One of them is too light to be a pony.
Suddenly a hoof traced a heart on my chest. Then… wait. Are they trying to talk with me? Are they writing to me on my chest? R. A. I. N. B. Rainbow Dash, that’s me! I nodded my head as much as I could and felt another heart traced on my chest. The next thing they asked me is if I could understand them, and I nodded yes. I felt multiple hooves on my body. Not just hooves. A claw as well. Could it be? Girls? Oh thank Celestia you’re here. Please! Please help me! I’m scared! I can’t talk. I can’t hear! I can’t even feel my hooves or wings! Take this bandage off my head so I can see you! Please!
“Oh, I can’t stand to see her like this.” Fluttershy sobbed, sitting down on the floor. The rest of the ponies and dragon looked over at their friend who lay in the cot. Barely recognizable. Once, a proud pony, now all of her limbs amputated.
“Now, I know you all really want to talk and spend time with her, but you have to understand that she has awoken for the first time in six months. I only let you in here because Princess Twilight directly ordered me to, but you can’t stay here. Right now she needs her rest so she can get better.” Nurse Redheart stated.
“Get better? Get BETTER?” Twilight shrieked. “She’s… She’s… It’s a miracle that she can even understand us.”
“Well, unfortunately, Princess, it’s up to her parents whether they want to keep her, or let her go peacefully. They’ve already expressed that they don’t want her to suffer any longer.”
“No! You can’t do that! She’s our friend. She’s gotta make it somehow!”
I don’t know what’s happening. I can feel a lot of stomping and my bed is shaking a bit. Are they arguing? Guys, please. Just get this bandage off of my head. Please… I want to see you guys. I tried to make my point by swinging my head as much as I could. The stomping and arguing seemed to stop. Suddenly, I felt another heart on my chest. They’re gonna explain what’s going on! Yes!
I- I’m blind? Deaf? My jaw was destroyed? M-my wings are gone? My hooves? I’m just a torso? No! No! This is a nightmare. Please... somepony save me. This can’t be happening. Please somepony help me!
I tried keeping track of the days at first, but it was hard. I eventually memorized the routines of the day shift and the night shift, so I could at least count the days that way. I’ve been awake for about ten weeks now give or take. Every once in a while, one of the girls comes in to visit me. It’s always nice to have them here, but over time they’ve been coming less and less frequently. Eventually, the only two that would visit me anymore were Twilight and Pinkie Pie. I can still smell, so I could tell that every time Pinkie visited, she brought me something sweet to eat. Too bad I’d never be able to taste her cooking again. I don’t have a tongue anymore after all.
Months turned into a year. One of the nurses traced ‘happy birthday’ today. Nopony else came to visit today.
“I’m sorry Princess, but we just can’t keep her in the hospital any longer. She’s taking up the space that we desperately need for other patients! I understand, but you either need to get her a full time nurse, or let her go.”
“No! I can’t. I won’t let her go until I figure out a way to make things right again. I’ll take her to the castle. She can stay there with me.”
“Princess, please! I beg you to reconsider. It’s not right! I wouldn’t want to live like that. Nopony should have to do this as long as she has.”
“My decision is final, miss Redheart.”
I’ve lost track of the years. I wish I could just fall asleep, but I can’t tell if I’m awake or dreaming anymore. If I had my voice, I could scream or at least be some kind of company for myself, but no… nopony is going to help me. If I only had my hooves I could kill myself. If I had my legs, I could run away. If I had wings I could fly far from here.
Somepony, Anypony? Can you hear me?
Help Me
Help Me
Help Me
Kill Me
Kill Me
Kill Me
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...Holy crap! And I thought things could go worse for Dash than Cupcakes!
Excellent work, I got chills reading this! I've never heard of the book/movie but I'm terrified to check it out.
It had me thinking of Metallica's music video "One" and I feel so bad for Rainbow having to endure that horrible torture. :(
Very good work BTW.
I think this is one of the worst 'fate worse than death' scenarios I ever heard.
Bravo man, the part where Twilight decides to keep Dash alive legit made me nauseous.
All in a thousand words, great job!
WHY ARE THESE ALWAYS SO FREAKING CREEPY?!
This could be the basis for a ponified version of Metallica's 'One' video.
All right. I have two things to say.
The first is: Wow. For 1k words, it was a beautiful tragedy. I don't know if others felt the same, but I felt worse as the story kept going. That's kinda the goal, isn't it? Catharsis and reflection.
The second: I know it's supposed to be a tragedy with a sad outcome, but I can think of many solutions to Rainbow's "isolation". Of course, maybe you know this as well, but since it's a 1k words type of story, this is how it must be.
Overall, I felt Rainbow's situation, but I cannot deny the beauty of how it was crafted.
Amazing work
11194889
Thank you! Definitely check them out. They're amazing.
11194895
Thanks!
11194896
Read the book or watch the movie. It's truly horrifying way beyond anything that I could've written. Thank you!
11194903
Thanks for reading!
11194907
Great song
11194925
Yeah I wanted to add more, but it was really tough to get this in 1000 words as is. I could easily write 2-4K on this prompt. Thanks for reading!
Yeah, that's one way to put it, i guess.👀
WAIT WHAT THE FU
Oooooookay, this is... the end of the story, okay, cool, uh...
10/10
Imma go cry in a corner now....
For a very short story, this was exceptionally good! Great job!
Mindlessly dark and tragic. I hate it.
11194895
Exactly what I thought of too
It's not really the worst part of the ordeal, but what really sticks out to me here is that she can't even sleep. Just... I can't image the suffering that alone would cause a normal person, on top of the fact that she is not afforded even the smallest relief from her other injuries and disabilities.
"Horror" is right. Good work.
*sees title and short description*
Hmmm, I wonder... This sounds like "Johnny Got His Gun"...
*Reads A/N*
Yup!
As others have mentioned, Metallica's One is based off this very premise (in fact their music video incorporates several clips from Johnny):
While I cannot say I fave'd this story (it hits way too close to home for... personal... reasons), it is well written
For diarchy any stallion would give his only begotten daughter.
Twiggles could've stoned her and had all the time in the world, though.
Oh my Celestia, poor Rainbow! Talk about a horrible fate, and she can't even die despite badly wanting to. If Twi knew what Rainbow was thinking and wanted to die, but couldn't because Twilight wouldn't let her go...
Good work! This story really shook me up. It's different yet still nightmare fuel, but the state Rainbow was in kinda reminded me of the real condition "Total Locked-in Syndrome/Complete Locked-in Syndrome." You'd be awake, like Rainbow was, and you can see and hear, but not only can't you talk, but you can't move at all, not even blink to communicate, like someone with a "classic" version of LIS can at least do.
I have no mouth and I must scream.
Marefriend in a coma, I know I know, it's serious
Marefriend in a coma, I know I know, it's really serious
There were times when I could Have murdered her
But you know, I would hate Anything to happen to her
No, I don't want to see her
Do you really think She'll pull through
Do you really think She'll pull through
Marefriend in a coma, I know I know, it's serious
My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye
There were times when I could Have strangled her
But you know, I would hate Anything to happen to her
Would you please Let me see her
Do you really think She'll pull through
Do you really think She'll pull through
Let me whisper my last goodbyes
I know, it's serious
Apologies to The Smiths.
Kudos.
Yes! Glad to see I'm not the only brony who's a fan of Johnny Got His Gun, you made amazing story!
Although familiar with the source material, the story also reminded me of the story of Hisashi Ouchi, a victim of a radiation leak who was kept alive at the insistence of his family even when he was well past the point of no return.
11195473
O hi!
Truly disturbing stuff... though it almost crosses over into absurd comedy given the sheer scale of the injuries and Dash still managing to survive them. Plus, it would have been nice to pay a little lip service to any possibilities medical magic might offer. Yes, this probably far exceeds what even pony medicine can heal, but it still merited some degree of acknowledgement.
In any case, thank you for entering and best of luck in the judging.
WELL THIS HIT FUCKING HOME IN ALL THE WORST WAYS
I'm sorry for yelling.
I'm not mad at you.
I just...
...In 2015, my Dad had a severe stroke, one that left him...
...I had to make That Decision. I chose to let go...
This just... triggers some bad memories, I'm sorry...
...The worst thing? I can see Twilight being this stubbornly stupid...
11268404
I'm sorry for your loss
aww, loved this detail with the heart drawn on the chest! finding a way to communicate and truly touch another when it seems impossible, there is something nice about that
and oof, that is a lot to be told as a friend! i can imagine that being horrifying to witness while locked-in, but Rainbow's not locked-in here, they know she can communicate!
and oof, what a horrible fate! Rainbow is really being let down by the ponies that are supposed to care about her here, and that is just heartbreaking :( poor Rainbow Dash!
DARKNESS
IMPRISONING ME
Well Rainbow Got Her Gun
This line right here contains lots of swearing but the rest of the spoilers are fine⬇️
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCKER THE FUCKEST OF ALL FUCKERS.
...
I'm sorry, I had to let that all out somehow and since I can't scream since it'll scare the neighbours I had to write that above.
This was...horrifying...Twilight's decision to keep Dash alive truly sickened me so much, she's being a... I'll say bitch because of a lack of a better word, the last lines "help me, help me, kill me, kill me" truly horrified and saddened me beyond measure
Meh...I prefer the theory that those in comas are trapped in dreams. Which could be worse, come to think of it.
My Little Reviews & Feedback I reviewed this in 2022.