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Botched Lobotomy


Imprisoned (without charges) by the Paw Patrol

T

A recently discovered batch of 42 lyric fragments by the ancient poet Sappho seem to revolve around her attraction to a pony called Rarity. Scholars are puzzled what to make of this seeming descent into madness.

Botched Lobotomy here presents an arrangement of these "figments of imagination", suggestive perhaps of a narrative quite different from the popular interpretation.


An reflection/homage/companion to the remaining fragments of Sappho's poetry through the medium of fanfiction. Specifically, this translation. Familiarity with Sappho is recommended (because she's great), but not necessary.


An entry to Bicyclette's Twilight Files contest for epistolary fiction. Check out the other stories here!

Chapters (42)
Comments ( 61 )

I say as something of a fan of Sappho, this is one of the most audacious and boldly WTF ideas I have ever seen on fimfiction.net. Rewriting an episode or plot arc of MLP:FiM to ask and address a "what if?" question is one thing, but trying to rewrite Sappho is...I really don't know what to say.

That said (or not fully said) I have to applaud your choice of poet. But I don't really agree with what seems to be your interpretation of the sparrows and the chariot (EDIT: I mean, in Sappho's actual, original poem).

between such creatures...
...the animal and I
but does not Aphrodite ride a chariot with sparrows?
Does not love make animals of us all?

I mean, I do think the birds are merely pulling the chariot, not serving or hinting at serving a rather different and more intimate role. Ok, now the 'ALL COMMENTS MUST BE POSITIVE IN EVERY PART' people can come and hate on me.

On the other hand, the whole endeavor might be well worth it just for fragments like

They say that Leda once found
an egg—
like a hyacinth.
I have found a creature
far stranger.
Eggshell elegance,
indebted beyond mortals for her beauty,
her mane—

(because she's great)

Is that why Wonder Woman keeps talking about her so much?

If I had a nickel for every ponyfic I've read that featured Sappho of Lesbos, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

In any case, brilliant work in conveying a plot largely through implication and a few of the larger fragments. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.

Hilariously/Annoyingly, because of the incredibly short chapter lengths, only 4 out of 42 chapters were marked as “Read” because I never had to scroll down for the rest. :facehoof:

Regardless, a quite intriguing work that does a lot with very little words.

Hillbe #7 · Aug 8th, 2022 · · 1 · 42. ·

1- Ember's angry flames
2- A crush not meant for who?:moustache:
3- An egg?
4-Dragon & I
5-Rarity's tired
6- He's overwhelmed
7- She's eating ice cream again
8- More ice cream
9- She's a splendid mess:raritydespair:
10- Oh Celestia! A bright idea!
11- Missing the parade
12- Where are we? lost...
13- Twilights opus continues:twilightoops:
14- Spike begs She laughs
15- Oh dear, Opal needs fed
16- Oh look Lunas twin moons!
17- I can't even control myself
18- Twi? I'm leaving for an ivory mare
19- So long Ponyville
20- Gossip gossip at the Spa:flutterrage:
21- Whispering Twilight casts her spell
22- Long ago times were strange:pinkiehappy:
23- No pomes, Ran out of ink
24- It's cold, Close the window
25-Stupid tub can't find the leak
26- Burping & fire leaping in the boutique
27-Apple Jack dumps fruit on a sleeping dragon:ajbemused:
28- A Lady never argues "SPIKE ICE CREAM"
29- White Purple and green
30- My garments! Spike! Our foals!
31- Smoke & Perfume, You know them
32- candles who needs matches? Spike, Light!
33- Soft scales and fur, warm
34- Wake up wake up, Where's the case of cider? Rainbow's here:rainbowlaugh:
35- Well Tirek's dead
36- Luna's off the moon and in the Post Office, Stamps 5 bitts
37- Sitting I think,
38- Oh Celestia not again,,,Ash:trollestia:
39- Dash battering my window
40- Twi sees an error what agony :facehoof:
41- I keep forgetting , that's future Spikes problem
Hyacinth is Bon Bons older sister

11324735
I found it easier to simply download the story as a text file, so I didn't have to press Next so much.

11324588

this is one of the most audacious and boldly WTF ideas I have ever seen on fimfiction.net

I try.

Originally the intention wasn't really to rewrite, but as the story took shape, well...there's a reason I put arranged and rearranged beneath the title.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Re: your spoilered comment, please, critique away! I have to agree, it almost certainly wasn't Sappho's original intention, or even a particularly valid interpretation of the poem. That said, if you'll allow me to defend that choice a little, I felt I needed to address the fact in the story that, sapient or not, Sappho has relations with what is, aesthetically, an animal. Harkness test or no, some hesitation is almost guaranteed.
Perhaps the fragment

Again love, the limb-loosener, rattles me
bittersweet,
irresistible,
a crawling beast.

would have been a better choice here. But I liked the play between sparrows/arrows already suggested in chapter 1, all wrapped up as it is in ideas of death/animality/love; and I feel the Sappho in this story starts out with a very selfish definition of love. Arrows/sparrows as penetrative, in some sense a "claiming" (blegh), and the submission of the sparrows to Aphrodite (as animal, as labour), are meant to play into this idea.
I totally acknowledge it may be a bit of a reach, however. :raritywink:

11324735
Thank you!
You know, that explains why fimfic claimed I hadn't read them, either...

11324703
God, this is Gertie the Dinosaur all over again. I even used the same cover art, this time! Looks like I have another fic to check out.
And thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Arranged and rearranged by Botched Lobotomy, 2145

hehehe that is a great pony name

for my breast is pierced with beautiful black arrows, Feathers weighted down with bronze, Dipped cold into the bottom of my love. I really wish that I were dead.

mood

missing the now-missing delicate agony? ran being past tense

augh just love this! can't wait to find an excuse to call Rarity "eggshell elegance". the "creature far stranger", what depth! the distance and curiosity those words impart are just so fitting to the heady mix of familiar and alien that comes with finding allure in an elegant talking pony. "her mane—" indeed.

the struggle is real! it seems so reductive to think of the person that Rarity is as a "creature" or "the animal", but of course that would be the first thought to come to mind. yet in Greek mythology, in so many mythologies, the line between animal and deity and human are all blurred in their own way, anthropomorphism running both ways. and i had to look up the sparrows bit, very nice.

i do prefer this to the 21st fragment that it was based on. the weight of the original is lost on me, and i am thankful for that.

augh i love it, sounds very nice

and augh, yes. with only this mere brushstroke of it i feel the sting myself

oof, speaking of stinging

so true. i kind of want to inscribe this phrase into the fabric of the universe somehow.

the portal to Equestria? it could stand to be described this way more often

oof, just who is this subtweeting? that last line is vicious i love it

possession and domination against love and beauty. well-trod ground but this treads it well. and those last two lines, augh. honestly they work as a love poem just by themselves, and if i'd ever found a love and a moment and a spark to create something on par i could die happy

i, too, feel this way about her laughter

augh the connection! the meaning of the moon in Sappho's world and in Rarity's, the contrasts and the similarities. augh there is just so much that can be said here in that but yes this is exactly the kind of thing i picture them talking about while gazing up at the moon, against each other...

hinting at things that cannot be overcome separating them?

i was waiting for this one and i got exactly what i wanted and more and i love it thank you will definitely call her an "ivory mare" forever now

i do wonder about the "divinely" here. animated by a spark of the divine that inhabits anything that transcends what seems possible in the mundane everyday?

augh i adore this. "tiny breaths", "small high noises", this is my everything.

haha, lovely inversion of Fragment 17. "graceful creature" indeed.

truly a Rarity, isn't she? and yes, i cannot imagine her belonging to any pony or poem. she cannot be constrained, contained

a portal in the sea? "window" feels anachronistic here. (though i then wonder what the Ancient Greeks used for that metaphor)

a continuation of the window beneath the sea? a retelling of Rarity's arrival? love this beautiful description of her, but the "they can't see you" seems to be hinting at something. it resonates with the idea of most people not being able to see just what is there to be seen about this ivory cartoon horse that to us would so obviously completely capture the heart of Sappho.

had to read Fragment 19 since i figured this is playing off its end. and augh, that was a farewell scene, wasn't it? remembrance?

so true. i know those bitter fruits well, which makes this sound all the more heavenly. and soft.

augh. being held by Rarity... and "limb-loosener" is great both in the original and here.

i would not either. Rarity my beloved...

oof. that last line is hard to imagine in our world. but in another one, young maidens count as people.

all this imagery about a finite amount of time burning up. which, no matter what happens, applies to my time with this fic, and also life and existence in general. really makes me think.

augh "hoof to heart" love it so much. augh "marriage flowers". augh there's just so much here in so few words! an entire sensorium unfolding like origami. just this feeling of being Sappho in this moment. augh. how precious. i really want to keep coming back to this one.

and augh, the war motif again. ominous. is that how it ends?

sinking, dreading. i fear the worst

well now i am crying. like this isn't the first time i've read something similar said in a tearful parting. but damn does this one mean more for who is doing the parting.

augh. i do too.

it is amazing how this transmutes the cold, dead gods of the original Sappho to something that actually resonates with me. the hope and anguish in the beseeching, the fate and cruelty in the response. and augh. that point, that any given reunion also being fated to end. it's a theme i've wanted to explore and i love that i am seeing it happen.

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