We all make choices. Decisions that are often thrust upon us by circumstance more often than personal desire. For Orion, his choices will lead him through the veil of our world and into the wonder of another.
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Another great chapter!
Good job 👍
This is the best equestria fic where the gender roles are reverse that I've ever read.
Good save there. Even though some parts of it have now caught the interest of a journalist.
Typo
Damn, this is picking up! Cant imagine any of Celestia's "testing" will be good though.
Wew, and with that chapter the rewrite hit 100k words!
It's the highlight of my day when I spot an update to this gem of a story. You have my utmost respect for the dedication to his work, and I hope you are satisfied with what you are writing, as I certainly know I am.
I know you mentioned it before, but this rewrite's Celestia is certainly more... I guess relatable is the word I'm looking for. Having her as less of an outright antagonist, at least in these beginning chapters, is looking to be a fantastic choice for her character. The beginning of the chapter had me a little thrown, as for a moment I thought I had missed a dream sequence, but I like the building of tension with the dreams. I look forward to how he nightmares will be handled in this iteration. The interaction s with the press also look to be shaping up nicely, I wonder what the extra attention will bring to Orion's already chock full life.
Thanks for another awesome chapter!
Well that incident has definitely put Orion on the radar of a lot of important ponies far earlier than the original version. I wonder if Backwater will somehow use this as an excuse to make another attempt to get her claws on Orion.
Well, as the saying goes; "The plot thickens!" It was a nice taste of Orion getting notice by the Press, and how his past deepens, as there are consquences for the choices you make, and Orion sure has made his, despite the reasons.
Celestia has seen that as well and is also looking into it. I also wonder how others at the Orphanage/Gym/School will take it. Surly, some will make a piece about him, and not in a good light with Orion I'm sure. (Despite what Petal is going to be doing, whether that's a good thing or bad...)
My God have mercy on Orion's blundering soul...
Well done and I have to say that after really putting off reading this version as I liked the original so much, Im impressed.
It's better than the original. I like the way this chapter unfolded. It's realistic, or as realistic as horse words can be. There is a much more complex weave in the plot and storytelling.
My only real nit pick was in the previous chapter between Orion and Celestia. Orion didn't hit up Celestia for any money for befriending Twilight as ordered to. It's his time and his having to put up with her, he should have said, 'This is a job, Im getting paid for it.' But thats my only real complaint.
Looking forward to more from our thickly eyebrowed Author.
Monk
"I could kiss this guy right now, but I should probably not, I doubt these guys are Italian." -Dadecious
I also like to say you, and your editor are paying off dividends! You literally have us about approx. 35,000 words and 3 chapter this past month. That’s amazing! Keep up the great work man and I’m sure you’ve already heard plenty of praise but this is one of the best fics I look forward to coming back to!
Thanks so much for the awesome fic!
You know.. if I were him I'd probably be looking for ways to permanently sterilize myself. Just to discourage the mares.
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I will do my best to keep it going. It's hard to write a scene just right sometimes, so to hear that praise is very encouraging.
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Well, the vultures...I mean the journalists are always seeking to profit from the ruin of others so one was bound to notice.
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Corrected, thank you post-production editor
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I wanted Celestia to be more approachable. When I first began to write this story, my mother had recently disowned me so it ended up coloring my view of the Marshmallow Monarch. Clearly, that was a horrible comparison. I am far more satisfied with this iteration than the past one.
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The ramifications of his actions will only serve to further his own character growth, right now I feel he is still trying to find his way. And yes, the plot does thicken. With every piece of cake Celestia inhales.
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It will, the effects are going to be FAR reaching in this regard. Ponies are gonna know of him just on rumor and hearsay alone.
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WELCOME BACK!
I know that feeling when you look at a story and see that it has been altered from a beloved original. I get all twisted inside thinking how badly the changes in characters can be.
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Considering the level of technology and the overall understanding of biology, I can see only disaster.
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We are both working hard. They have been nothing short of amazing and supportive of what I write.
That's not to dismiss you guys. Without your support and comments I would not be where I am at today.
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Even so, one has to protect one's precious bodily fluids from the mares who seek to sap and impurify them.
Actually, Air-Conditioning might spring up if your Equestria is early 1900s. The first powered air conditioning unit to be established was about 1901-1902 by William H. Carrier. And installed it at the Sackett-Wilhelms Lithographing & Publishing Company in Brooklyn, New York. Later making an air conditioning company that’s now worth $18.6 billion dollars.
Not saying it could be Orion but you are in the right timeline of someone making the first and might see it spread like wildfire!
11259986
That is a good point, and he is looking for ideas to make his fortune.
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The fact CFP has planted a spy in the orphanage just to investigate Orion is both worrysome and quite petty.
The fact the organization apparently has the power to make people disappear for a extended period of time, is downright scary.
How powerful they really are, and why does Celestia let them get away with so much?
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This is one of those; "The dragons are coming."
There is a reason they get away with so much, but I cannot just outright tell you. Just trust me I do have a reason for it, and the story will explain it.
Welp! You've gotten yourself another watcher and follower mien fruend! Quite the enjoyable story with such a unique premise and build up, all while being the update of an older work as well! Fabulous, mien fruend, fabulously done. Keep up the good work and good job with Celestia, making her not outright the door clearly being the BBEG was a smart choice. As well as giving the slightest of hints that it's clear somethings up but never elaborating upon how is a swell way of developing an antagonist for a story.
Love the story so far, keep it up!
Hey now! I'll have you know that reading is a perfectly legitimate hobby.
I know this is supposed to show that Celestia is capable of evil etc, but it's just endearing me to her. Even mass-murders look at pedos with disgust.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm betting the real reason CFP wants to get ahold of him is because they've recognized him as a rogue element that knows the Church of Sol has no authority other than what they can twist out of others through being pushy and heavy-handed. He represents a threat to their tenuous control, and they don't like it. He'd be shoved through those doors and never be seen again.
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With arrogant people, it's hard to tell what trips their proverbial trigger.
Fucking vultures