We all make choices. Decisions that are often thrust upon us by circumstance more often than personal desire. For Orion, his choices will lead him through the veil of our world and into the wonder of another.
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Great chapter 👍
11381116
Thank you!
Honestly not what I expected in the changes but I like it.
11381125
In my original story. I felt that it was too simplistic. As I began book two, I noticed the vast change in my writing, that prompted me to update the original work.
I am happy to see that despite the vast changes, that you and others are enjoying the improvements.
Blessed be my sore throat for waking me up at 4am. Be damned if I'm not reading this in the middle of the night
11381136
Lmao, get your butt to sleep, and losange for your throat. Seriously, stay healthy my dude.
"fat bill" makes me think of the shoebill
This guy
11381201
Yep, but while I know that information, Orion would not. It was never a primary focus for him to know such random knowledge. His interests are elsewhere
Thanks for yet another awesome chapter!
I'm definitely loving how much more complicated Orion's little "vaction" is going to be this time around. With all the political intrigue that's happening in Scream's life right now. I'm thinking that in the very near future. Orion is going to be forced to kill an assassin and maybe a noble or two in order to protect her.
Also, since the king and those loyal to him have a decent idea of how capable Orion is. I wonder if he'll try and convince Orion to be Scream's personal guardian once he's believes that Orion does genuinely care for her.
Damn.
Now I really want more updates sooner.
11381287
I update every two weeks. In the meantime, I try and do a lore chapter here and there but that's more filler for the story and to inspire others.
Coming off work and score another great read!
Thank you for this new chapter!
I do believe Orion will be smashing griffon nobility shortly.
Orion and monarchs. What could go wrong?
Some good political intrigue ahead it seems. And rather nicely written too.
I wonder what this problem-noble might try? Add more slander, or maybe try to either "get rid off" or even try to turn Orion to their side? Nobles can be dangerous if needed...
11381561
Indeed.
Oh man this is getting exciting
I wonder if the different direction will be him joining the Apple family or falling for Screaming?
Anyway whatever direction this story goes it will be interesting
I know it's a bit weird to ask but do you have any art of Screaming as she is currently?
11382552
It's not weird, and sadly no.
I am poor and currently working on a 200 dollar laptop. My talent for art died years ago, so I fear ant attempt to draw what is in my head will make children cry.
11382439
Mysteries shall abound, as Orion's journey will span the course of 5 books. Fun for me....
Awesome chapter!
11382720
Yo.... Just curious... Do you know how much a commission of Screaming similar to the art done of Orion on your twitter would be? I maaayyybee want to sponsor a comm of screaming in the future, if you'd be okay with it of course.
11383494
Atm, I am not really asking I'm still sitting on a 150 donation for an art piece I have yet to commission. That's to start the art images for Orion's story, in which yes, other characters will be featured in those pieces.
(I am stupidly ambitious.)
I still need another 100 bucks. I'm looking for cheaper artists if I can find them, but atm, the one I usually commission is not that cheap.
I'd ask you all to refrain from sending me more money till the first piece is done.
11383356
Thank you!
I already know the napping pone Gilda’s referring too lol
Good stuff, keep on keeping up!
11381303
More lore on the world you’ve created is always appreciated, at least by fellow authors. Gets us to think of things we wouldn't have necessarily before. But speaking of lore, is the lore for this version roughly consistent with the original story? Like, in the original story Orion decided not to invent (re-invent) guns because he didn't want to be responsible for introducing such an invention to his new world. At the time that decision made sense because the old-story Orion was significantly more powerful after getting his enchanted items that enhance his abilities, he really didn’t need one. But the whole timber wolf situation for Orion in the re-write would be a pretty solid and rational argument for why he will need guns to keep himself safe. Does he still refuse to make guns now because of the same reason, or does he have a more compelling lore reason despite his lack of power? (Tbh, it sounds like Griffonia could use a few guns with null-stone ammunition considering tyrant-Celestia.)
Keep up the good work though, I’m still loving the re-write.
11385907
Man, you ask the difficult questions. The only answer I can give you right now is that it is legitimately just a roll of the dice. A lot of the major, and some plot line, events are determined solely around a literal roll of a 20D dice. I let fate determine Orion's path through Equestria. I will say that the option of a firearm came far to early in the original story.
11385940
I'm sorry bud, this is a complete rewrite of the original story. Going forward this is what the rest of the work will bring based upon.
11386015
Then why doesn't the prologue explain who Orion is and why we should care about him? Is he a human? How did he get to Equestria? What's his relation to Twilight? What is this war he finds himself in the middle of? I've read through it three times and I'm still struggling to understand what's going on here.
11386137
This is rewritten to give a glimpse if what is to come early before actually setting the stage for Orion to grow in the world of Equis. Kinda a premonition of what is to come, and setting the stage for all the intricate details that will make up this story.
11386157
But it's so confusing. I don't know these characters or what's going on in this timeline. I skimmed through the second chapter as well thinking maybe it would jump back to the chronological beginning of the story and explain where Orion comes from - the point where he ended up in Equestria would be a good start - but it doesn't seem to do that either.
11386166
It's not a linear story. Chapter one is the beginning, but after that there are flashbacks that set the stage of how the story is supposed to go.
11386237
Okay. I don't think I'm too interested in this story in that case. I prefer stories where I can understand what I'm reading as I'm reading it.
11386244
That is fine. I imagine it might not be everyone's cup of tea.
11386014
I seriously considered using this method (rolling dice) to write stories myself, as I thought it was a good check against making the story too much of a power fantasy. Though I imagine it makes things complicated, or does it making writing easier?
Also, thanks for your dedication; and don’t mind the comment trolls - You’ve got an upvote/downvote ratio of 27. That's 96%+ of people who read your story like it.
11386499
Not trolling, I genuinely can't wrap my head around what's going on in the prologue. I'm not going to downvote the story though.
11386499
In all honesty, it takes a lot of pressure off for me. I set the parameters, roll the dye a series of 3 times to get the best average.
I usually give 3 options as well, that way I am not stuck. It either becomes a bit of a power boost, a lot, or none at all depending on the average. This method has worked extremely well.
It also helps solve for more social issues, and has forced me to think creatively when the roll is not favorable or a little odd choice has been chosen by chance.
11386736
I appreciate that. I don't judge you for not understanding the path of the story. The way it is written is meant not to be boring, it fills in the gaps as you go along so that you get more and more details about the history of this world and the character's pasts.
You don't hate kids xD