We all make choices. Decisions that are often thrust upon us by circumstance more often than personal desire. For Orion, his choices will lead him through the veil of our world and into the wonder of another.
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Guess who…
11447144
Bruh, sleep.
I was wondering if we were going to see Twilight discovering Orion's departure from Equestria before his trip was over. And now she knows who Scream is. I wonder how long it'll be before she starts to believe that the reason Orion never returned her feelings and left for Griffonia was so he could be with Scream. If her mind does come to that conclusion. I can only imagine how badly she's going to overreact.
As for what's currently going on with Orion. I'm guessing that the upcoming incident with the Diamond Dogs will not end as well as it did in the original. Between the mercenaries that we know are on the way and how much more "interesting" the trip has been this time around. I'm betting that some bloodshed will be unavoidable.
Anyway, thanks again for both of today's awesome chapters! See you again in January!
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Good chapter!
Nice chapters! Looking forward to Celestia's reaction when the Griffons get steel.
I get the feeling that twilight is going to run over to griffonia herself
All this spying, the constant playing of the Great Game, plans within schemes. I feel sorry for Orion, caught up in all this bullshit, constantly on the edge of getting killsquads sent after him. Hell even now there's mercs on the way to get his head.
Even now, he's straining his own relationship with poor Screaming by making himself look like an idiot on purpose.
Do hope your holidays end up great! Great chapter as always, and see you next year!
So here it is... Almost 4 am. Smh.
Anyways glad to hear your prioritizing familial relations. You said you'd continue writing, is this going to be a backlog or a combo for when you return? I'd suggest a backlog for more manageable relaxation times.
Take care of yourself mate, you deserve it.
As for thr chapter, I like how we have Orion trying to help Screaming (and most likely having to fight mercenaries and diamond dogs) on one part of the country, while having Shining and co. fighting bandits on the other side,searching for the same colt while getting further away from him.
Ugh please not the bullshit kidnapping and attempted rape. You are far to interested in attempted rape and torturing your MC in one way or another. Well whatever it's a remake so I know what happens and can just skip it I guess.
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11447181
It was done… and happy holidays! Take all the time you need, cause we will still be here upon your return. Have some fun!
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11447503
*grins* not this time.
11447756
Noice my two least favorite parts got cut
The Diamond Dog kidnaping and attempted rape. The other one being the Apple's untimely death.
Now the worst I have to suffer through is a bit of politics but that helps build the story so its alright.
Thank you for creating and uploading these two chapters!
11447808
Last time, Orion was dumb enough to walk right up to them. I think that was my biggest problem with the mutts.
11447836
Thank my editor for putting up with my insane timeline.
Hello, my friend, How are you doing? I expect the answer to be very good and thank you. :D
Anyway, i have some opinions about the two chapter and the path the story is taking and how it compares with the old version.
First, I like the new pace and how you established Orin’s Strong points and how you are using POV to show the inner working of other characters – something i know can be hard.
Another point I really like is how you already put the hook for nightmare’s return and Twilight departure to Ponyville in the story (also, the relationship between Orion and the M6). Even so, I’m really curious to how our friend Orion gonna change the timeline.
And I really appreciate how you did the way the kingdoms of Equis, when faced with the destructive power of the immortal princess of the sun.
What I mean is: GREAT JOB, THIS STORY IS AWESOME!
11447756
i FEAR you, and it is a good thing.
11447530
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Good chapter, as always. Take your time and rest.
I like the world building and such but I think there are some glaring flaws that prop up now and then. Such as when Orion had comforted a child, Celestia said he spoke as if he had done this before but we're barely given information on that. If he had gone through the same thing wouldn't he have dreams about it or horrible reminders? Scars of some kind? Or if he had comforted before then why was he not more emotionally empathetic or more courteous. The habit of Orion bitting the inside of his cheek is never truly a downside when it could create sores.
The time skips were disorienting as you didn't give it a proper period and left some characters just out of place. I understand if you mean the dreams to be like how you forget them but not inputting the suspense of the scenario can create a big distance of it for the readers and offput them at first.
I also think it's weird how even if Orion can't be punished Celestia never punished his care taker, y'know the orphanage caretaker? Seems she's been neglectful of his well being outside. Also I had a question, back when she read the memory of the fight in the cafeteria, why did she say she had to prepare the mind reading spells hours in advance when she could do it to the bully. Did she have Orion in chains for like hours? Also it feels like the canterlot guard is ridiculously underpowered, like requiring 6? To hold point spears at Orion? I know it might seem cool but it really puts into perspective how pitiful the guard is, especially in a world full of enchantments and magic, would Celestia seriously not be able to train better guards whether physically or magically?
It just seems like the story tries too hard to put Orion as some powerhouse sometimes, like he could fend off Timberwolves and kill one of them, destroy a swarm of colts but had trouble deflecting Gilda's attack? I get strength and defense don't correlate, really I do, but it seems like the powerscale for Orion is just weighing one side or the other. At this point it makes me think he'll just take on the mercenaries with a bit of help and that's that.
11448778
Well, where to begin.
First off, a lot of what your speaking of is already going to be explained away during the next couple of books. Talking about it now will give away important context as to what is really going.
The point of this first book is basically to bring up those very questions, then have them answered as the story carries on.
As for the scene during Orion's first...court appearance, nobles are known for conflating a situation to their views as much as possible. Our MC assaulted a noble and his son. The chains were for that reason.
Orion's abilities are not as great as you may believe. Think about who he matched up with in that fight, spoiled, rich, asshole kids. Of course it's going to be like a fox in the hen house. With the Timberwolves, the fool got lucky. Yes, he managed to punch a hole in one, but that was panic fueled, only after he made the area brittle with fire. Perhaps I didn't convey the right amount of fear.
Surprise was Gilda's real weapon in the brief scuffle. However, a shitty night will also lend to his lack of performance. Do you ever feel at your best when you wake up and got like 3 or 4 hours?
As I said before, I cannot explain it in any greater detail than that because I don't want to give away key elements of the story.
The time skips...eh, they are what they are. I'm not one to stuff my readers with a ton of fillers. Too much white noise.
Thanks for posing the questions, this is what I like to hear.
I am wondering about what happens after this arc, mostly because what Twilight said to Celestia earlier:
"Why does Orion get to do as he pleases while only getting a slap on the wrist? Princess," she gazed up at her, eyes very hard, "he continuously flaunts rules placed by you and others. He endangers himself with his own actions. He-" She stopped short, her voice increasing in pitch as she had gone on. Coming from Twiliight no less. Dude needs to know that he's probably gone a step too far...
"Twilight, I can honestly say, that Orion Falls shall not get the slap on the wrist a young foal might normally get. I plan-" -Celestia.
So, is Orion going to be punished and head back to Ponyville... or is he taking a trip to the dungeons, or will he be Celestia's personal Beard? If you know what I mean. Now despite the amount of blundering that Orion does, I think it'll actually put his friendship on the line between Twilight and Orion. The beginning shows how much the two haven't talked between the two since Orion's shenanigans. I can see quite the dressing down from the two of them, and no amount of souvenirs and trinkets will get out of that one I guess.
Can't wait for the next one. And again, love it, hope you've been better man. Don't let this get ya sick, it's fun but it's not worth getting sick over!
I have to say, Twilight is clearly more attached to Orion than she even realizes; and its making her do stupid things. How can she have the nerve of being upset with Orion for his 'prank' in the shadow of her "near miss?" Then Twilight has even more nerve to be bitter about the prank and avoid talking to him after Celestia said she found the prank amusing and thought it wasn't a big deal? Now she's going to Celestia trying to make sure he gets punished, despite learning he skipped town to visit a friend he hasn't seen in a decade? Silly purple bookpony, the was lonely because you were giving him the cold shoulder.
She considers herself Orion's FRIEND, yet acts like this? He really needs to tell her that Celestia forbade any romantic entanglements between them, to at least get Twilight to stop working herself up and acting dumb. She's too smart for that.
11449073
Muahahaha, I'll remind you of that the next time I put together a theory and DM it to you. I almost don't want those future books to come out as its fun trying to deduce what's actually going on.
Though, can you answer the following without Spoilers: Is the art of Enchanting linked to humanity in some way? Like, can only former humans (like Orion) or their close descendants become artificers? An earlier chapter said that constructing enchantments looked a lot like making circuitry, which is only done by humans (from all the other species in the story.) Also, all it took was a book for Orion to pick the art up, so unless their is something else in the works then Twilight should have had no problem whatsoever picking up the art from the same book (or a similar one). Yet she, and all of Celestia's scientists, have not. Why?
11449803
Well, when Celestia figures out Orion is to blame for Griffonia getting back on track, including having functional steelworking and even innovations he didn't bother to share with Equestria before, she is not going to be a happy mare at all.
No, Orion is going to get far more than a slap in the wrists.
I think I've caught up on this story
Why can't he watch him like a griffin?
I got so caught up in reading that I hit the spot where the next button would be and was confused why nothing happen till I realized I had reached the most recent update.
Please don't pair Orion up with Twilight, her personality WILL ruin his character, just make them enemies. Orion character is just very important, the way she is will just kill the stories vib.
But so far everyone in this story is spot on there character.
Great chapter. I wait with baited breath for the next one.
11447200
(Back in Ponyville with a random foal, immediately after Sunbutt learns of Orion helping out Griffonia.)
The Foal: (Sees a bright flash of light in the corner of their eye in the direction of Canterlot, looks over at the city and sees what is actually happening.)
"OH WOW! DAM, LOOK AT THAT! IT LOOKS LIKE CANTERLOT HAD THE SUN DROPPED ON IT, AND THE SUN MELTED THE WHOLE TOP PART OF THE MOUNTAIN!"
The Foal's Dam: (Looks over and to their horror, sees what the foal was talking about is actually true, as other ponies also turn in the direction of Canterlot after the foals exclamation.)
"Oh dear Celestia help us... Canterlot is in some serious trouble by the looks of it."
(Meanwhile back in the area that used to be the top of the mountain Canterlot sits on, with a seriously pissed off Sunbutt.)
Celestia: (Uses the Royal Canterlot Voice at full volume in pure, undiluted rage as she literally burns with the intensity of the sun itself.)
"ORIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
(Back in Ponyville at Sweet Apples Acres in the orchard with Applejack and Big Macintosh/Diesel.)
Applejack: (The pony's ears perk and her head turns as she thinks she hears the sound of somepony screaming out in pure fury what sounds to be her troublesome Canterlot friend, Orion Falls, name.)
"Hey, Big Mac? Didja happen tah hear sumthin' that sounded lahk screaming off in tha distance?"
Big Macintosh/Diesel: (Looks at his sister with a deadpan as hell look, as if he didn't want to get involved with whatever she had said she had heard going on.)
"Eeeenope..."