We all make choices. Decisions that are often thrust upon us by circumstance more often than personal desire. For Orion, his choices will lead him through the veil of our world and into the wonder of another.
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11351675
Thank you! I am much happier with this rewrite then I was with the other. I still love that first book for the help it gave me in finding my path to becoming a better writer.
I remember all these events from the old story, It's interesting how you're expanding on them. I looked back again and I'd forgotten how compressed the old versions are in comparison.
Orion is quite the character. I don't typically read anthro stories on here, but this is one of only 2 that have been able to hold my interest.
This is easily my new favorite fic.
The second I see an update, it's "drop everything it's storytime now"
Rewrite is better than the first by a lot.
Just freaking promise me that you are not going to make Orion one of the neurotic, touch shy Sex-phobics that this site is so famous for.
I'm so sick of those characters.
A character that actually has a healthy outlook to sex would be a pleasant change.
Monk
"not only was love blind but it must have some severe mental disorders too." -Recteik Shade
11351844
My main complain is that, so far, nobody has managed to push back Orion in any verbal exchange. All ponies including Celestia seem to hold such simplistic views that he can drive them into a corner just by pointing the obvious flaws in their arguments.
There goes the Heat-problem session. And now Twi holds the big secret that can absolutely ruin a friends life for good if revealed.
11351914
Its a fair complaint, but don't forget that this is a RGRE. One done well, but still a RGRE. No one really has any expectations of Orion so when they meet him, they basically get blind sided. Since he is a loner, few people get second or third chances to interact. People who have pushed back on him are generally those who see him semi regularly. That one guardsmare, Celestia, eventually the child protective services/church lady.
I can see what you're saying. That a hero needs a strong villain and its the back and forth that builds the strong story. But people forget that not everything is chicken soup. There are tons of other kinds of great soups out there, and the man vs man style isn't really what this story is. This is more a man vs culture or man vs environment. A lot like the Classic Twilight Zone episodes, "The Obsolete Man," or "Eye of the beholder." It's a different kind of conflict. It can still be interesting without strong foils, but you are right, the best villains are those who pose a real chance of stopping the hero. While it's always helpful, man vs environment doesn't have to have them to work well.
I have a link in one of my blogs I think you might like. Specifically on villains.
Monk
"Thirty minutes, Celestia. I was gone for thirty minutes," he said to her in an annoyed tone. "And in that time, Canterlot has been overrun with insect-like creatures, the groom is hypnotized and unable to perform his job, and you are being flung across your own throne room by...whatever that is. In thirty minutes." -Onomonopia
Thank you for this new chapter!
Orion needs a hug
Thanks for another awesome chapter!
Twilight's conversation with Orion on why she chose to befriend him explains why she gets so jealous when Orion mentions the other girls in his life. I can only imagine how badly it must've hurt her to know that everyone she thought was her friend was just using her. And now that she's finally found someone she can genuinely call her friend. I imagine that her biggest fear is that one of the other girls Orion knows will take him away from her and she'll be alone again.
Now I'm really curious to see what's going to happen when Orion returns from his trip to Griffonia. When Twilight learns that he decided to spend an entire summer with one of his friends in another country. She may believe that her fears were true. So when Orion returns from his trip. Even if he's able to convince Twilight that her fears are unfounded. I'm guessing that she'll be glued to his side for the first month or so after his return.
Fat chance.
11353090
11353202
Friends respect boundaries, Twi.
You mentioned before how in the rewrite Celestia/Daybreaker was meant appear as a non obvious villain. I imagine international politics are going to be more complicated than "Sunbutt wants to take over the world."
I'm up to date! Awesome so far
11351791
Well, I am happy to have caught your interest! And I know I compressed the hell out of a lot of story, in this iteration I have changed certain things around and removed certain b.s. stuff from the equation.
11351830
Thank you! I am keeping it to a twice a month schedule, every two weeks!
11351844
It's not that he is neurotic. Orion just feels super dirty about being a grown-ass man in a child body, well, teenage body now. Fear not! For while I shall not have the sexy times be the forefront of the story, there will be appropriate moments.
11352015
And Twilly Billy is a spaz....Orion is screwed.
11352220
I was gonna answer, but you beat me to it.
But yes, Riki is right. As of right now, Orion is more in contradiction with the nature of that world than any one specific person. Villains are not just tossed in, but are meant to have a story of their own. And boy let me tell you something, it's gonna be a story.
[Enter Hank Hill reference here]
As of right now, I am setting the stage. The story will actually have an original villain that fits in and ties the lore of this world together.
Sorry I didn't answer sooner than this, Wednesdays are my days off so I figured I could respond now. Thanks Riki for answering.
11352496
You're very much welcome!
11352603
Orion needs a drink.
11352642
I saw something in the first version of this story I did not like. There was not a real reason for Twilight to act as she does.
In this version I wanted to make some sense of her study focused nature. What better way than to show the cost of sudden elevation of status? The world of the wealthy is a particularly cruel thing, one I have personally glimpsed a few times.
(Not rich at all by the way, just a very strange walk through life.)
11353231
Twilight is unfortunately naive, as any high-school student is. And considering that she mostly has her head in the books, it makes it hard for her to rationalize what she thinks should be the right path, to the one the world shows.
11354847
Glad your up to date, I only wish I had more chapters for you.
11355089
🍺 Cheers! ("Have A Drink On Me" by ACDC starts playing)
11355084
Even if Twiggle Spriggle is kind of a spaz, I really don't think that she would spill the guys secret on purpose. Not unless she had an incredibly good reason to.
Say, maybe her nation had war declared against it by several others and Equestria was getting seriously stomped into the ground and she thought that maybe he could help turn the tide of battle and so she spilled his secret and tried to get him to help.
Honestly, that is one of the only ways I can ever really see Twilight breaking her promise to Orion and spilling her guts to Celestia that he is the Enchanter everyone has been looking for.
GIRL
WHY YOU ALWAYS JUMP TO EVERYTHING BEING HIS FAULT!?