We all make choices. Decisions that are often thrust upon us by circumstance more often than personal desire. For Orion, his choices will lead him through the veil of our world and into the wonder of another.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Duplication
Great chapter! Also, I'd try using an app called Hemingway in addition to grammarly, it's free and offers some things grammarly does not that I've found very useful when writing.
11250584
Thank you, I'll take a look at it when I get off work.
11250584
And holy crap how had I missed that?!
Thanks for yet another awesome chapter!
I never get tired of reading Celestia and Orion's interactions. Almost every conversation they have seems like a battle of wits and will. So It's always fun to see if our favorite smart and snarky asshole will be able to one up the scheming demigoddess of the sun and cake.
How long do ponies live? Because unless they live for centuries, that is not how gender balance works. Just because a lot of males died doesn't mean they'd suddenly produce less.
Unless Sombra cursed their balls or something.
I can see such a great relationship blossoming between Celestia and Orion here. Just wow! I'm also guessing the last passage of the Great Colt Chase won't be here this time around... hope it does, it was pretty funny. Though I can definetly see a 11-12 year old Orion do that.
Orion is still blundering around, and I get the feeling Golden is coming back with a vengence. Oh, and Orion hasn't turned the bed into a bonfire yet... good for him!
Unless at the end of the next chapter when he's dealt with all the crazy of that particular blundering and about to head to bed, he sees the pink duvet.
"and there was no sign of marijuana in any botany books he could find."
Oh. Well. Now it's clear that God hates Equestria.
So, Orion is not OP in this version. Good.
Argh, as much as I hate the wait between chapters, I really do appreciate having a lot to read in each chapter. Another great one, from some comments and the prologue I am soooo wondering what is going to happen with Celestia's character, she seems so normal, but I haven't really pieced anything solid together yet. I eagerly await the next one.
11251037
A bit repetitive, I read a lot of stories that got the MC crippled or disabled trope for building "character".
I hope there is something special down the line.
Bro 🤨🤨🤨
11251158
YOU KNOW WHAT SHES SAYING. THOU SHALT NOT SLANDER OR IMPLY IN THE HOUSE OF THE SUN.
11251091
Granted, but Orion's situation I like to think has a good reason for being so.
11251179
Yeah, if there was nothing special then the first chapter where he somehow defeats Celestia would be unbelievable.
It would be a situation like Touma from To Aru Majutsu No Index, the MC only survives because of thick plot armor and forced stupidity from his opponents.
11251179
It will not be some gimmicky power that only works for plot reasons, right?
I really like the story, it is really well written. So having to turn on my suspension of disbelief in later chapters will be a bummer.
11251179
Maybe this time Orion will use enchantments to augment himself?
11250923
He had this problem in the old fic. It was overcome
11251416
Orion's Life Motto is: "Blindly solving one crisis. And stumbling into the next".
Meaning he figures out how to fix an issue, but something new will always crop up. Not that he is an idiot, but as a once human, he has never had to deal with such bullshit.
11251470
No there are draw backs in the skills he earns, gaps in knowledge, that sorta thing. He will improve however. And as he learns so too does his problems grow.
11251539
That's good, so the magic shenanigans will have a solution.
I think the best stories are balanced. No super OP Gary Stu nor over the top hardships.
The MC needs challenges that he can overcome. After that, there can be new challenges that takes into account his new experience, abilities, etc, to maintain the tension.
Love the chapter! It really shows how you are trying to show Celestia as not outright evil like the previous rendition, and Orion acting like himself in front of Celestia was written very well.
I feel the following though -
Is a bit of an overstep/mistep on Celestia's part. My reasoning is;
if like in the previous rendition she has plans to use her to make powerful magic wielders, If she still has a similar goal, she wouldn't openly admit this, even to Orion at this point. Though, I do feel like it is more a set up for what is to come, and justifies her reasoning later for Orion and Twilight. I still feel that her outright admitting this is a break of character. Let me know your thoughts, Morgan?
Perhaps a "Her future partner will very likely be...more... well..", that way it doesn't imply she is making the choice for Twilight, or that Twilight would have some kind of say in it.
11251639
In this regard, I had to balance the world of MLP with reality. Kings and Queens, or whatever you want to call a ruler, almost always arrange things like this. As gracious as Celestia was in the show, I feel reality is far more unforgiving.
A person in her position is going to want to plan for the future. Twilight being so powerful is an asset to the nation she would not want to see squandered.
It's even expected. Remember, this isn't the modern times and certain cultural norms are expected to be more base than what you and I may experience.
11251657
Oh absolutely! I just feel like Celestia openly stating it is... a bit much. I feel like she would imply. Someone who has been in the game of politics for so long that even she admits it's natural for her to begin manipulating others, and as old as she is? Again, I just feel someone as old and experienced as her wouldn't admit to, essentially, arranging marriages. She plays off the "you have a choice", not a "You must do this...", I feel she would imply 'helping' find Twilight a suitor, but she wouldn't admit 'Yeah, I picked the most magical of stallions for my student, just wait!"
11251700
Very true. But she never directly said it either. Just implied. And only implied that the stallion in question would not have hang ups like Orion does.
Ultimately Twilight would have a choice. But the ones she would be choosing between would be carefully chosen. In her sentence she was only stating it would not be him.
But perhaps I was a little heavy handed in that one.
11251707
Again, this relationship between Orion and Celestia is going to be something! Wow! 😏
They're for bitting ponies who pester him with annoying questions, obviously
"Bye bye birdy." -Stewart Little 2
She was acting despondent because she didn't know how to tell him she was leaving... That's rough.