Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 6
By TDR
Spike Up Your Life,
Part 3
[Canterlot]
Rahs tilted his head at the set up. Pinkie Pie and Rarity had gone with counter paths while he had been out spreading the word about this place.
The Tasty Treat was a small shop not far from the main drag of copy cat restaurants with three stars. They had entered the building and found the owner Coriander Cumin and his daughter Saffron Masala had been arguing about the lack of business.
The five of them had been seated, and then treated to one of the better pony meals Rahs had had in a while. It was no Canterlot Castle Kitchen meal, but then again there wasn’t any where else that was. Still it might be a place to take the non-carnivores he was dating. Which oddly was only Trixie and Saturnia, though there were a few meat dishes, so the others were also possible. Rahs also learned what pain was when he sampled some of Pinkie's dish of 'Fire Curry'.
After Rarity and Pinkie Pie decided to get involved with helping, certain this was what the problem was, Rahs was sent out to see about attracting some business. Not seeing how the pair staying here would be much of a threat, given the recent destruction and imprisonment of the local Thieves Guild, he and Private Dew Leaf set out to post fliers and spread word of mouth, the pair of them splitting up to cover more ground.
Rahs came back before the Thestril Guard and was followed by a small crowd of those curious on exactly what the Moon Dog had been going on about.
Rarity and Pinkie were arguing over the display in the main room, with Rarity trying to set everything up the way the other places had been while Pinkie was trying to go harder into the native theme of the place. Rahs wasn’t sure what the ethnic theme was, but he liked it much better than the ‘cookie cutter’ designs that had been in all the other places.
Things were going rather well of course, those who came in tried the food and were enjoying themselves and the business was booming in truth. Rarity had slipped out to do her own form of networking and Pinkie had gone all in in helping Saffron in the kitchen. Rahs and Sergeant Nightsky stayed in the lobby helping Coriander when need be, but the older stallion seemed to have this sort of thing will in hoof.
The only worry was that Private Dew Leaf had not come back yet, and both Rahs and the sergeant were a little worried about that.
However before they could go look for him Rarity came back bringing with her a gaunt, stern looking white unicorn mare in a aristocratic coat.
There were a few mutters from those who were eating or still waiting for a seat, as Rarity presented the food critic, Zesty Gourmand.
[Sweet Apple Acres]
Witch-Jack paused her eyes closing as she counted down to her self, her ears flat to her head. Her mother was going off again about the Sparkles, her ire directed completely at Witch-Jack, and her interest in Rahs.
The Witch-wolf reached down picking up the main bulk of a old dead tree that she had been in the process of removing, Big Mac would come along later and pull up the stump, but tearing it down and carting off the brunt was her job. Her claws dug into the apple tree trunk, the hard wood splintering under her claws as Pear continued.
She finally let out a growl as chunks of the tree she was gripping turned to saw dust under her claws and the weight of the log hit the ground with a dull thud. Witch-Jack stood up straight, towering over her mother as she brushed off her claws, then she turned to face and stare down at Pear Butter.
“Alright. That’s enough.” Witch-Jack growled. “Ma, yah know that I love yah, and I’m ecstatic yer back and alive, but yer fulla shit and yah need tah shut up.”
“Applejack don’t…”
“NOPE. Yer talky time is done, yah been bitching nonstop about who all three of us have been interested in fer weeks now. First off yer not gonna complain about Applebloom and Spike again, PERIOD.” Applejack loomed, her mothers ranting finally pushing the farm mare to the point she was done with it. “Ah trust that dragon mor’n ah trust Twilight, or Princess Celestia. He’s tha reason a lot of things didn’t go too far, and why a’hm even still walking around. There ain’t no one gonna treat Applebloom better than he will. Even Big Mac didn’t bother with tha overprotective big brother stuff on him.”
Pear Butter blinked, not the slightest bit intimidated by her daughter looming over her, but she was rather annoyed that Sunset, Granny, the blue one of those fish ponies that was hanging around town, and that weird snake pony jumble of animal parts guy, were all in lawn chairs nearby with popcorn.
Witch-Jack spared a glare their way, but was building up a rather sizable head of steam and didn’t even bother to slow down.
“Second, an ah say this with tha utmost disgust, Twilight and Big Mac have been knocking horseshoes fer so long now a’hm surprised yah ain’t a grandmother yet. An lemmi tell yah those two are waay too intah each other. It’s like a goofy egg head romance from some bit store novel. Bitchin about them two ain’t gonna do a dang thing cept annoy tha crap outta everyone.”
Pear blinked, hiding a small smirk on that.
“Finally, Ah git yah got issues with Diamond Dogs cause what almost happened, but first off Rahs ain’t even a Diamond Dog, he was nearly killed by a group of them in fact. Not that that means jack any way since that lot is all dead and buried. As fer tha rest of yer complaining, he ain’t leading no one on and he ain’t being a wuss either. Ain’t a damn one of us girls told him to choose yet and we could at any time and he likely would, or he’d run off screaming tah be a hermit in a cave. Ah spect whatever would be tha most dramatic at the time in truth, but anyway. In case yah ain’t seen tha kinda girls he attracts, we’re all way too damn busy to keep all our focus on just courting him. Jynx is running tha largest pack of Diamond Dogs any one’s ever seen and more keep flocking to her and she’s working her tail off tah make sure none of um start anything. She’s also taking time out tah help train me a bit with this cursed form ah got. She’s prolly been on maybe three dates with him since they first met a couple of years ago cause she ain’t got tha time.”
Applejack continued not allowing her mother to speak.
“Saturnia’s pretty much tha go between from tha local government, the Changeling government and tha Goddess of Changelings, not tah mention she’s helping a mess of changelings settle inta town. She’s prolly managed tah be free about four times fer a date with him in tha last couple years. ” Applejack continued. “Trixie is always working and barely even manages tah show up here in town. She’s only managed about three or four dates. “
Applejack gestured a claw to Sunset.
“Between her getting accustomed tah modern Equestria, the crap with her mom, dad, whatever, helping around tha farm, helping Twilight with stuff, and now whatever thing she’s working on. Sunset how many dates yah been on?”
“Just three.” Sunset huffed. ”Not for lack of trying but no one schedules ever meet.”
“Then Aria’s shown up an been immediately swept up intah that new embassy stuff plus reconnecting with her mom, and now Sunset’s project. She’s only going on tha second date next weekend. And that’ll git canceled if tha table has anything pop up.” Applejack continued. “Everyone of us who are after Rahs ain’t in tha slightest bit of a rush. All of um are immortal save me an Trixie. Ah got no clue how long ah’m gonna live now, and knowing Trixie, she’ll either git Luna or maybe even Bleu tah help her stick around a lot longer so ain't any of us in a hurry.”
“Then there’s the political ramifications of everything.” Sonata chimed in. “Every one of the girls after the puppy are connected some how to a god or goddess or both. Rahs is the grand pup of Princess Luna, Twilight's his sister, Saturnia is the daughter of Queen Chrysalis and Empress Cadence, Aria’s the Daughter of Discord and Queen Aqua, Jynx is a God herself, Trixie was Trained by Princess Luna, Sunset is Princess Celestia’s Daughter, and Applejack is one of the best friends of Twilight, and currently under the watch of every god every where EVER!”
“Then there’s the betting pool.” Discord pointed out. ”Which makes things even weirder with who is betting on who. Let alone who’s eligible for what bets. The current prediction is this gets resolved in season nine. So only two to three more years if you count this one. Lyra bet on that one and so far no one’s bet against her. Nor does any one know how she got into the betting pool to begin with.”
Witch-Jack and Pear Butter both blinked in confusion at these rants, though Witch-Jack recovered first.
“Now fer Rahs you clearly don't know nothing at all. Him and his siblings have saved everything from a lost empire, to they world and everything in between. Including me and including you and Da. He's practically working fer tha Guard, considered royalty himself, and tha god of his own race. And aside from being as annoying as all git out when Zap apples or a certain annoying rabbit are involved he ain't a bad guy.”
“Well that's all nice but I still think you should find someone else.” Pear countered.” There's got to be a nice stallion some where.”
“Given time and poison joke he's that too.” Sunset smirked.
Witch-Jack stared at her mother a moment more before throwing her hands in the air and storming off.” Nope ah'm done. Applebloom's got tha right idea of avoiding yah until yah calm down.”
“What... hold on .. Jacqueline Jolene Joyce Apple get back here this instant!!” Pear Butter shouted at her daughters back.
“Jolene Joyce?” Sunset questioned.
“She's a JO JO!!” Sonata cried out.
“OH.MY. GOD!!” Discord cried out in a weird monotone voice.
Pear Butter and Witch Jack both looked over as Discord, Sonata and Sunset all suddenly adopted weird poses, and Discord and Sonata both had brightly colored wigs standing at weird angles.
Aria walked up on the other side of them looked at the Apples, then over to her family and Sunset as they flexed holding their poses, before she tilted her head glancing back at the Apples.
“Is this a Jo Jo reference?”
[Canterlot]
Well that was interesting and rather sad Rahs thought to himself. This unicorn mare hard ripped apart everyone involved in this set up and she hadn't even tried the food. The verbal berating had the entire crowd staring and wondering why they were here.
Rahs could see the flow of it oddly, the self important noble tearing down any one who didn't conform to their world view. It wasn't even a power from his portfolio, he just had seen a lot of day court growing up.
As such he had picked up a few pointers in watching said nobles be torn down, either by other nobles or by the Princess. After all, the mares words had marked her as little better than a bully, and trash cans and snark were unisex.
“Who exactly are you anyway?”
It was phrased loudly in a pause for breath in the tirade the mare was giving.
She snapped her attention immediately to Rahs who stared back impassively.
“I am Zesty Gourmand Canterlot's finest judge of proper dining.” She snapped at him.
“And who awarded you that title?”
“What?” The mare questioned, though the rest of the crowd seemed to start to wonder that themselves judging by the murmuring.
“What?” Zesty demanded again, her gaze shifting back to Rahs who stood before her staring down at the mare his arm crossed.
“He has a point darling.” Rarity chimed in rolling the 'darling ' in a way that any one who knew her would be worried about. “Something like what you claim, an accredited food critic, likely only would be earned by either a Royal Decree, or years of training with some kind of school. I don't recall such a proclamation nor such a school existing here.”
“The ponies of Canterlot needed me to tell them which restaurants are worth their time and attention.” Zesty snapped.
“Pretty sure that's what taste buds, noses, and eyeballs are for.” Pinkie Pie chimed in.” So they can taste good food, smell good food, and see something delicious. They don't need some one to tell them that.”
Zesty huffed her ears flattening to her head as she glared at the three before her, the murmuring of the crowd growing a bit louder.
“Well who are you three to tell me what I do is not important to Canterlot, that my words hold no sway!?” Zesty snapped.
“Two of the six Element's of Harmony and the fourth in line to the throne of Canterlot just after Prince Sombra, or Princess Sweetiebelle, depending on the day.”
Zesty whirled on the new speaker to see a green maned Thestril in Ponyville Guard armor, backed up by six Canterlot Royal Guards. Two of whom were staring at her while the others were running their gaze across the rest of the place.
“Ma'am if you are finished with your meal please move on as there is a line forming and we would prefer if everything remained calm and orderly.” one of the Royal Guards stated looking directly at Zesty.
Zesty blanched at the statement though she whirled on Saffron.
“I will see this place fail, everyone will know how terrible this is. I will make sure you never work in this town again so much as scrubbing dishes for this!” Zesty growled.
“Ma'am I would just like to point out that communicating threats of any kind is frowned upon in Canterlot, particularly in front of eight Royal Guard, and after you have already been asked to leave.” The first Guard spoke up again. “If I need to tell you to move along again, I will ensure that you are moved along to a cell for processing, for failure to abide by a lawful order, on top of anything else we might witness here to use against you.”
Zesty tensed looking like she was going to argue before huffing and storming out of the restaurant.
After she was gone the first Guard sighed and looked to Private Dew Leaf.
“Rookie, when we agreed to check this place out after you described it, I didn't expect that would mean I would have to work on my lunch break.” the Guard offered.
“Yeah sorry about that, but I didn't expect all..., well whatever that was. Coriander can we get a table for six?” Dew Leaf asked gesturing to the Guards behind him. “These guys are from the local posts around here, after the whole three star thing started it got too pricey and too stingy to eat near their posting. I figured I'd point it out to them.”
The Guards were seated and orders were given, the rest of the customers continuing on as they were.
The Table Team set back to work helping out the Tasty Treat ensuring that Saffron could keep up with the orders.
With the Guards satisfied, word spread rather quickly among the ranks and the rest of the day had Guards in and out with either take out orders or stopping for a bite. Unlike the nobles, the common ponies of Canterlot did still know what the Guards did and had respect for them. And this many Guards in one place drew their attention rather quickly, and the smell of the food plus curiosity kept many more around to sample the place.
By the time the day was over Pinkie and Rarity hadn't even noticed their cutie marks had signaled mission complete, and Saffron Masala and Coriander Cumin were already discussing needing to hire some more ponies on to help if business stayed any where near this level.
Rahs of course had already reserved a table for two at the end of the week for his date with Aria and another two weeks later, because if any one would appreciate fire curry it would be Sunset.
What tipped you off, genius? (EDTA: by dragon law, it constitutes a Sunset emoji)
About time Applejack put her hoof/paw down with her mother.
I can't stop imagen all of Rash girls teaming up on him and get his due mating in a row. Glorious death by Snu-Snu. It might become a joke that he was to breed all his females at once so he literally died and his god restore was used to make him contine.
... Until he died again
Yay another good chapter
I got one day to watch this JoJo stuff. I hear since last years again and again referances and recommendations. Is it really that good?
Sunset it fire and flames for anything hot. Be it open fire, Rahs or Pyromaniac themed things.
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I haven't had a chance to watch it myself either, but I've heard quite a bit from Anime Youtubers. It is apparently that most over the top, crazy, anime cheesiness that there is. In the best ways possible. Seriously, just wait till you see the main villain's "Road Roller!" attack. Just don't get the wrong idea about the writer's view on dogs since they don't tend to fare well in the show. The original writer apparently actually liked dogs, and since hurting one was one of the most evil acts he could think of he would have the villains hurt one just to show how evil they were.
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Yeah... I just put watch JoJo show right behind my continue to write story updates and get your kitchen done. Literally already one year on it because by the love if all it is holy... I apperently can set up complicated sleeping system and help repair cars under youtube instructions, but can't get my bloody kitchen done right...
I just know if i ask someone of the street to do it he or she can do it in under 4 hours...
TDR has pretty mutch given me a hole new view point of mlp fim... Maybe we should make him president and see how he changes everything for the better by simply being himself:
Awesome
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And her arguments are glorious
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Wait... Was there ever a bad one?
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I could kiss you for that videolink. But i am currently tear up in laughter. Very nice 👍
Such the gentleman.
Oh Lyra! What are the odds of Rahs getting all 6 members of his harem pregnant at the same time?
Could be worse - could be Bobobo Bo Bo Bobo.
For some reason, seeing Granny classed at this level, made me think of Tryptitch? As in, Granny Knows what the world is pulling?
As for Rarity going daarling, is it me, or is it supposed to make me think of Assasins Creed? D, the sniper crossbow fires, aaar, the bolt flies near silently through the air, ling, the bolt comes a terminal halt?
I have this feeling I have watched one episode of JoJo once, many years ago.
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Or Fooley Cooley.
Or P&SwG.
Or Shimoneta.
I do wonder exactly when he is going to decide and of course who he going to pick or if he will get more before then. As for applejack she was completely right in what she said.
A Jo Jo reference? Didn't expect that! Also, kind of mean that Discord and Aria didn't give Sunset a wig as well.
Mission complete, help out a small food shop in Canterlot and destroy some self important food critic. Not a bad use of a day I suppose.
Yes yes it is. Now you either join them or walk away.
https://tenor.com/view/jojo-yes-gif-14878013
Of course Applejack has Jolene as a middle name. Now I’m going to have Dolly Parton in my head all day 😂
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Oh, that'd be the absolute most dramatic thing to possibly happen! XD
Lol, that caught me surprise. So much so that I broke down into giggles.
Surprise d there was a no show from Gordan Ramspone. Little Easter egg of him showed in this episode.
Nope.
Okay yes. Yes it is
Probably yes
I'd suspect she'd go to Bleu, so she would get a little more dragon in her, and to protect herself from her own firework, and because she'd more exotic that way which could attract more customers to her shows
Wait when did Rahs turn into a bitch?
Wait her full name is what?
I am Discord in this scene... though nowhere near as dramatic
...yes
You mean you wanted everything to fit your own personal style and taste.
Which is really not a good thing, since you look like someone who hasn't had a proper meal in weeks, and your taste in decor leaves something to be desired
If you don't mind me asking, is there anything in particular you don't like about it or is it just the general feel?
That was awesome! I expected the zesty situation to end in violence, but considering the ponyville guard was involved, I'm not surprised, nor disappointed.
Excellent JoJo reference!
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You leave BoBoBo out of this.
Something tells me, the whole 'star' system is going to implode fairly soon.
I smell trouble
oh no
OH NO
Rahs with the armor-piercing question
hahaha BURN
Glad that worked out
I'm predicting Sunset will order the hottest thing they have in the store and give it a "Not Bad"
Yes it is a JO JO reference to which I'm laughing my ass off
Gods no wonder Rahs likes her... Jojos are just prone to drama no matter the universe.
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i do love this episode and you did this greatly in story form.
While the main drags quite often have good or at least acceptable food, the REALLY good are the mom&pops usually just off the main strips or a ways back a few streets
Mission complete. Palmer level up
So glad AJ told Pear Butter off about her behavior regarding the Sparkles, let's see if it sticks!
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I too have yet to see anything other than JoJo memes so you're not alone. That said, I put it in the same basket as Spongebob; another one I see referenced/memed daily but have no inclination to watch.
what you can't blame them for wanting to see a good show
...!
Yare Yare Daze...
I finaly understand the referance
I damn near bust out laughing at work. It was a struggle to keep it in.
Damn nice chapter, this probably will fix the Restaurant equalizer movement the mare pulled.
Wonder if she was a Starlight Glimmr follower at some point? Maybe a study buddy?
There are people who earn their titel and recognition properly, but than try to act very differently than what they originally learned to use their reputation for a brute force chance. Unfortunately this probably was a attempt like this. To bad there wasn't a bugger motive behind it like health inspections reason or them all to chance devoration via renovation and kitchen getting cleaned more thoroughly or even updated in more efficient or user friendly appliances.
Ever seen a eggless Omelett?
I am seriouse:
O... damn!
They forget to give Sunset Shimmer a over dramatic wig!