28 Perns Later
Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 6
By TDR
28 Perns Later
[Canterlot Mid summer]
The castle was on fire.
It was also half frozen, half turned into sand, and half grape jello.
There was also a half that was a bit too much like a 3/4ths, rather than a half, but the other dozen or so halves of the castle allowed it's existence.
That 3/4ths half was currently a very confused sperm whale.
It was on speaking terms with the ground however, or at least the over grown neon orange spider plant that took up most of the mountain top.
Inside the castle was a bit stranger. Hallways lead to no where, portraits of the Princesses were decked out with goatees and Fu-Manchu mustaches, certain doors were on different levels than other doors, and all the pictures and windows were tilted just a bit to the left.
A rather large ax was embedded in the marble floor at the entrance of the new hall of pictures and foal artwork sent to Princess Luna, and as such that particular hall was unscathed.
There were a surprising number of snakes, both real and fake.
Several cakes wandered the hall, either moving as slugs or on countless little spider legs. One of them was snatched up and devoured by a mimic that looked like a suit of pony armor.
Little in the building was the same color it had started as and a number of things were invisible to pony eyes having changed to colors that could not be seen. mostly doors and walls, a few of them had craters in them because of this.
In the main throne room however a stand off was happening.
Princess Twilight Tuesday Sparkle ( a name now appointed by royal decry) stood on the remains of the carpet leading up to the thrones, the normal red of it now a off shade of paisley blue, with moving patterns. Her normally purple form looked more like a black and white sketch drawing at the moment.
Sonata had started singing Take on Me the moment she saw it.
Sir Spike Sparkle Scale (not a Royal Decry, that was his full title and name) stood next to her his arms crossed over his chest. His scales were teal with a yellow underbelly and his spikes were all on fire.
Lord Rahs Shar Sparkle of the Oneiroi, First of his name (also not a Royal Decry, he just liked the sound of it. ) stood on the other side of Twilight. He was his normal colors, though he had a rainbow clown wig and a bright red clown nose stuck to his head. Also every time he spoke it came out as a a clown horn noise.
Princess Celestia Solaras (technically a Royal Decry as her mother had named her and Law was the queen at the time.) stood next to her throne. A throne that was currently existing only in two dimensions and thus could not actually be sat upon unless some funky maths got involved. Her normally white fur was a glaring shade of pink that some how offended both Pinkie Pie and Princess Cadence when they had seen it, her horn was a brass saxophone, her mane and tail standing up straight in liberty spikes, and her wings were currently on her butt with her cutie-mark on her shoulders.
Princess Luna Nocturnus( also by Royal Decry as her mother, Law, was still a Queen at the time), was no where near the castle today as she had a date, two of them in truth.
Discord had been watching with popcorn, and was now in bed with the mother of all stomach aches.
Not literally, just to clear that up, he has some taste, and was trying to get back with Aqua so cheating on her with a stomach ache wouldn't have helped.
The group of them had been going full bore the last few days and it had cumulated with the current showdown.
"So Princess. You finally surrendering?" Twilight smirked.
"Hardly. I've yet begun to fight." Princess Celestia chuckled.
"Well that explains why your pranks have been so weak lately, you better start trying to fight." Spike added.
"Honk!" Rahs agreed.
"Such confidence means nothing. You are several thousand years too young to beat me." Princess Celestia scoffed.
"BEEP!" Rahs taunted.
"Owch." Twilight flinched.
"Yeah dude, no need to get nasty." Spike offered looking at Rahs.
"Awoooogah!" Rahs added.
"Yeah okay, maybe there's some reason to get that nasty. "Spike shrugged.
"Regardless I am hardly out of prank ideas and I can keep doing this for years more. While you seem to be running on fumes already." Princess Celestia taunts.
"Please. We've not even gotten to a quarter of the ideas we've come up with. "Twilight snarked. "We can keep doing this for as long as it takes."
"NO YOU CAN'T!!!!!!" A massive cry erupted from around them.
The Sparkles and the Princess looked around some how having missed that the room was no filled with most of the palace staff, a good chunk of the nobles, a large number of citizens, and most of Ponyville, including the Mayor, the other Element Bearers, the Crusaders, Rahs' suitors, and the rest of the Apple family.
"Ummm." Spike blinked.
"This Prank war ends now. " Empress Cadence stated flatly. "It has gone on all year and it feels like it's been going on for two years because of it!"
“The damages alone far surpass what the local insurance companies are willing to pay for. As such 'Pranks' are now counted among the things that no insurance company will cover, same as Noble Excess, hurting Fluttershy, and pissing off a Sparkle." Mayor Mare offers. " And all of it is in MY TOWN!"
"Uhh." Twilight eloquently stated.
“Not to mention Princess.” Raven Inkwell stated. “ that the entirety of Canterlot has practically been a war zone with nothing running smoothly due to this prank war for the entire time. We had just started to catch up on our backlog and with these events, now we are a year behind yet again.”
“Then there is the fact that no other country is willing to send any of their ambassadors here for fear of them getting caught up in this, so a large number of trade negotiations have fallen through. “Prince Blueblood added.
“It's also the time of year where something happens, and we need these guys focused.” Rainbow Dash gestured to the Sparkles. “ Seriously every damn year.”
“That's a fair cop.”
“Seriously it's been a year and you've not even managed to pay me back for the piranha thing yet.” Chrysalis offered.” I'm getting bored.”
“Um a lot of the pranks are disrupting the local animals with the loud noises and odd smells.... you kinda need to stop.” Fluttershy offered.
“Then we can have an end of the prank war party!” Pinkie Pie added.
“You can't just end a prank war.” Princess Celestia huffed. “There has to be a winner.”
“Oh we know Darling.” Rarity chimed up. “The thing is the winner doesn't have to be anyone involved in the prank war.”
“Hold on.. what.. GAK!!” Spike gagged as Applebloom trotted up stomped on his tail and dumped a potion down his throat as he opened his mouth to cry out.
“Alright he's good. That'll last about twelve hours.” Applebloom started as she walked back into the crowd. “This needs tah stop cause Ah want my boy friends free time tah be on me, not on plotting tah make Princess Celestia bald or whatever.”
“MMMHMMMM” All six of Rahs' suitors agreed, then glared at each other.
Rahs swallows hard.
“There's not been any precedent for a prank war to end without a winner or some one conceding, and there's only been one case of..... oh no.” Twilight's eyes widened as a Cadence, Chrysalis and a few other gods in the horde put up a teleport barrier around the four at the throne.
“Ready. Aim. Fire!” Sweetiebelle shouts out as every one present starts throwing pies at the group, the mass of whip cream and fruit fillings splattering into the prank group, most missed but there were enough that the pile on the floor and throne started getting bigger and bigger leaving the group flailing and slipping in the prolific pile of plastering pastries, as the Sparkles, and Princess Celestia were soon burred under a pile of pies that continued to grow as everyone in the room throws a pie or two. The first group then rotates out for the massive line that was running down to the train station to start shuffling in. Several stalls selling pies out side the castle doors were making a brisk business, and the Cakes and Apples there were constantly making more pies for the the event.
After about two hours of this, the throne room was filled with pies with nearly the entire population of two cities adding to it.
Prince Sombra Nocturnus, (Sorta by royal decry, it's complicated and he doesn't answer to any of it but Sombra) walks up to the mess, looking at it then looking down at the chocolate pie he had purchased before shrugging and walking off starting to eat the treat.
“Waste of a good pie.”
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Hahaha hahaha
and so here endith the Prank War...
Why do I see Twilight, Spike, Rahs, and Celestia ending the prank war, by pulling one on everyone who just did it to them?
Surprised it didn't end with the line "This is getting too silly"
Preach it
I was wondering if this was going to stop but go d damn all year. That's funny and silly. I'm insane. I'm sure discord is just absolutely stuffed to the point, even he is ready to burst
Lmao, Sombra being so chill is great
Start of the chapter... Who overfeed Discord on sugar?
Pretty sure the collateral damage on pranks got hit hard over quite some time... a hole year? ...damn...
Was that potion so Spike isn't drowned in the backed products?
Wonder how Shining Armor looks like
That list is hilarious and terrifyingly in its implications.
Is there a official time frame for super villains to act?
Luna drowning someone in baked produce prank, classic.
But did Celestia eat most of it?
Kinda expecting Celestia and Discord moaning about a stomach aching together next chapter.
Pretty good chapter, Sombra even got something out of it.
If it wasn't for Luna, I suspect Philomena to have set up the drowning in pies and cake prank.
camo.fimfiction.net/XiyicHRjYOiL19iQfqscHq2vTKfeJjUgLx8rg-s0ROw?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com%2Ff%2F940fced9-db60-4299-8d69-56825b1e47ff%2Fd9m8trw-0c82ec23-885d-4039-8d15-d2441f100e54.png%2Fv1%2Ffill%2Fw_1024%2Ch_768%2Cq_80%2Cstrp%2F__happy_hearth_s_warming_eve___by_the_butcher_x_d9m8trw-fullview.jpg%3Ftoken%3DeyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9NzY4IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvOTQwZmNlZDktZGI2MC00Mjk5LThkNjktNTY4MjViMWU0N2ZmXC9kOW04dHJ3LTBjODJlYzIzLTg4NWQtNDAzOS04ZDE1LWQyNDQxZjEwMGU1NC5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.zZkOSR3RrinYkuD5pC4XQY9ZYzZt9MaIjyH3BI_nJgw
Awww... We started at the end?!
I mean, epic aftermath, don't get me wrong. But we missed both the three phase Battle and Boss Music. 
Or...
Don't tell me this was just an Elite Battle?!!!
If so...... I shudder at the implications.
I can't think of any other way this could have ended.
Thou shalt count to tuesday, and tuesday shalt be the day of accounting. Monday shalt thy count only upon to arrive at tuesday, neither wilt thou count Wednesday, and Thursday is Right Out.
Finally, someone has to play the referee. I already am amazed that anyone could have this much patience living with these out-of-control pranks war.
Nice way to end the prank war.
11782989
seriously this version beats the one from the actual show in every posible way
Somewhere, Soarin is crying over all those poor, wasted pies.
Not how I expected it to end, but I can understand that an outside party would have had to force them to end it, as both sides are simply too stubborn to stop
This is like the reverse GET ON WITH IT!
11783379
Aye, this was 1 of 2 inevitable conclusions, and I believe this to be the better one.
The Sparkles are strong.
With the power of a literal MAGIC god, a magic-resistant god who draws strength from dreams, drama and imagination, and the non-god Spike being a tactical genius; even with Celestia's thousand+ years of experience over them they are at a stand still.
And as you said, they are all as stubborn as mules.
It would only have ended if, A) They went too far. Or B) Someone else puts a stop to it.
This can be turned into a learning moment, if either party thinks about it.
Did it really take two years to get through season six? Where did that a year ago?
11783570
YES! GET ON WITH IT!
"I don't care who started it, I'll finish it!" - Manny the Mammoth, Ice Age
And Sombra proves he is the most sane pony in this story. After all, who wastes food like that?