Being a good writer doesn't mean to never fuck up, it means making the best of your mistakes
This Pride Month Story follows Spike as he questions his gender identity and goes to ask the Mane 6 for help one after another. It's also supposed to serve as a broad introduction to the most important vocabulary and broad basics of the topic.
This story is part of the Noctris-verse
Cover Art: https://twitter.com/SoupyFoxArtNSFW/status/1384787137644662785?s=19
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Cute! This was all around a pretty good fic. Also a nice educational piece!
10856672
Thanks, I was really nervous about the reaction
I can respect anyone who can admit stuff like this and while I might not be into people of the same sex as myself I'll admit that I can't stand people who shame others that are homosexual. So to people like that I say go jump on a donkey dong
okay???
10856691
Take that to me you liked it?
10856705
yes
yes I did
Nice educational little piece.
Also, is this part of Pride and Positivity? This feels like it should be part of Pride and Positivity.
10856858
I never heard of it, so no, but wouldn't have anything against it
10856858
Looked it up and joined it, as far as I can understand it. Thanks
Lots of people saying this is a good educational piece, and it is. But I also think you really nailed the interpretation of the Mane 6 and their approach to the issue at hoof. Of course Rarity would just kinda not listen and bulldoze over Spike's worries in her excitement to design him a new wardrobe. Of course Twilight would try to instantly fix everything. Of course Dash and AJ would bicker like that. It's all so well done and on-point. Each one wants to be supportive in their own way, even though they're flawed at it.
I do like that Pinkie kinda has the right idea. And Fluttershy is utterly in her element.
Ultimately there's something cool about seeing each of these ponies trying to help in their own way. It's a good reflection of the anxiety some allies feel, wanting to be supportive but failing to know exactly what the right thing to do or say is at any given point in time.
Well done. It was a good read.
10856902
Thank you very much, it really means a lot
Rarity being Rarity is always great
This is always a headcanon win for me.
And overall I got teary eyed toward the end. Maybe a little heavy on the exposition, but it's educational and applicable to real life so that's okay. It's still a great read.
I like this! I feel like I have a better understanding of the topic in general from this fic.
I did like everyone’s interactions with each other, Pinkie and Fluttershy where definitely my favorites!
Wow, educational and wholesome! Amazing story! And for those who are confused why your comments have a bunch of down votes, even though your comment was amazing, it's cause of people who are down voting because they hate gays.
p.s. There's a TransGender group
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200830/folder/20432/spike
10857105
Thanks, I added it
this is extremely cute, thank you :)
Hi! I have not read this yet. But I wanted to just to leave a supportive comment.
Have a good night and I will read this in a spot.
10857525
Lmao good one mate, really fighting the good fight
10857525
Why did you link a Twitteresque post without any links or screen caps? I have no reason to take Brick’s word as gospel…
I havent read it yet but for some reason it's not rated very good, direct all the shit talking to my comment but why are people down voting this, from what I see its exploring something that does not get talked about much and as someone who has a friend that is almost done transitioning, I cant see why people are hating on this fic.
Edit: I just finished it and it was written very well and realistic. Good job author!
But as a side note keep your head up and dont pay attention to the downvotes, you'll always run into your fair share of assholes who just want to get a reaction, plus this story was political, so people who have an opposing position will obviously dislike it, meaning it had nothing to do with your story, merely their opinion.
10857658
I checked all the comments on that thread. There’s one guy who says people get bulking steroids from gym rats and inject them into girls. Other than that It’s just people jerking themselves off for their courage and some comments about murdering “trans groomers”. Did you link the wrong post or something?
10857682
I haven't read the story as yet either, but I've been wondering the same thing, and am somewhat baffled by it--I've seen plenty of trans stories on FIMFiction over the years, and yet they weren't so heavily downvoted like this, so why is this one getting so singled out?
So, I saw this and decided to check it out and do my best to give it an objective review.
On the positive side, I think the characterization is generally well done, and the story treats its subject material with respect and the proper amount of gravitas. No one here is purposefully awful to Spike, and it doesn't resort to making villains out of everyone who doesn't quite know what to do with the situation. I think the story and author deserve to be lauded for the intention to depict a person dealing with dysphoria and potentially help a reader who is going through similar struggles. Noble intentions are worthy of recognition, and while I'm sure that not all the downvotes are the work of transphobic readers, it seems certain that some of them are, which underscores the importance of addressing the topic and talking about it openly.
On the negative side, though, I think there is something to be addressed, and it isn't the subject material. My main issue with the story is that it reads less like a personal journey and more like a PSA. There's a lot of jargon and crash-course terminology that is kind of thrown at Spike and the reader in a way that breaks the feeling of immersion and emotional connection. It's not horribly written, but it's also not terribly compelling, and it prioritizes the message over the actual story, in my view.
I respect what you're going for, and I can see that this story seems to have attracted a lot of attention, both positive and negative. It looks like this is currently your most-read story on the site, and getting a reaction for an earnest effort is much better than being outright ignored. I would learn from the experience and try not to get too preoccupied by the downvotes so you can keep improving your writing in the future.
Best of luck!
10857707
Maybe a combination of bad luck and having the pride flag on the cover
I fully support the author for writing about this subject, especially during these times as more LGBTQ+ people are speaking out. We need to be educated on this, whether we support it or not.
I personally feel, however, like this story could’ve been written better, so as to present the subject in a more adequate way. During Spike’s conversation with Fluttershy, I constantly felt like, as someone who commented this before me, I was having a crash course and the terminology was just being thrown at me. The other parts with the rest of the Mane Six felt a little rushed and the pacing was a bit off, but this was a good story over all and doesn’t deserve all of the negative ratings it has received.
An adorable story about Spike finding what he feels his gender to be connected with
.
.
Even I got one
And Fluttershy had a magic trans-berry, apparently. Neat
Also, oh great. Homophobes are dropping dislike bombs everywhere
Everything was fine but the part with Fluttershy. It felt so, fake. Somewhat off, too fast definitely. If you spent a whole chapter on only that part and made it more descriptive, it would have been a lot more comfortable to read it. The amount of information thrown at me, like others noted as well seemed sudden. I got something from it, but I feel uncertain about what I learned. I don't know if I understand. Then again, it just can be me, some people are born lucky and understand while learning alone, some need someone else to teach them so that they understand and others can't understand.
I'm from Poland, and here this topic is mentioned almost every day, both the right-wing parties and centrist parties and the most leftist and moderate left constantly are talking about it. After a while it gets annoying. Thing is, I almost know nothing about it. I don't want to make people get mad if I can easily avoid it and I want to know about the people who suffer from this weird disease. Educating myself also will prevent me from having to ask the person, if I ever met such a person, what it's like or what it is about to be trans. I can imagine it's very depressing to make it literally one of the most important things about you, as you presented with the case of Fluttershy.
On the other hand, it's such a meaningless number of people who feel this way (in the US 0.6%) that I feel like it's undemocratic to make it such an important issue and to put so much attention around it. Yes, as long as these people are really heavily discriminated against, it should be, I agree. Ten minutes in biology class, maybe a little less is all that is needed about the subject.
But not to be unfound, I'll give you an example of what confuses me. You used Fluttershy as the pony to be the main character that will help Spike. Fluttershy is, well, shy. She cares about animals, she has a friend who was styled to be a weed smoker etc. She also has pink hair. Basically, someone who can be linked to a stereotypical image (at least here in Poland) of someone who has knowledge in this. Why did you choose this format when the story is about diversity and tolerance and to fight this kind of thinking?
I'll assume the best case, and I'll just think there's something wrong with me. I will be honest, that this sounds ridiculous. This supports what I hear from right-wing novelists that the whole LGBT movement is about telling people that there millions of genders, as many as there are sand particles and stars in the sky and more. I don't think this was your intention, but I get the feeling that the topic was handled too poorly in this matter.
Emphasis on "they like". Can a neopronoun be anything?
This part I simply don't understand, is this endorsing this kind of behavior or condemning it? Rainbow Dash is the element of loyalty, a vital part of what makes friendship. Therefore, a truly loyal friend should react like this?
I gave it a thumb up nonetheless, it's nice and in the technical field it's pleasant. And the people in the comments don't help. Clearly, just because it's about this topic doesn't entitle it to only good reviews and reactions. Then again, because it's a very sensitive topic, people who are against trans people will downvote only for that reason.
Sorry for bad grammar. Good luck and have a good day/night.
10858563
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it
Yeah, the review bombing is annoying, but I expected it
10858573
Okay, I'll try to explain:
Yes, it's very info dumpy with Fluttershy, that's more or less what I was going for. The story is basically an educational text going over the basic words and concepts using mlp as a framing device. Could it have been done more like a classical story? Yes, definitely. But not in the time I had to write it.
I chose Fluttershy because I thought it's at least somewhat fitting for her and because it worked well with the story.
Would it have been any of the others, I would have lost the other scenes that, while definitely not utilising the full potential in them, still were fun to write. And it would have taken away from the idea of Spike asking the six had I brought in Luna.
While there are many genders, that's not what I was trying to say here. I meant that, for example, the gender "woman" will mean something different for everyone identifying as such. But, yeah.
There's no finite amount of genders.
Basically, yeah. If you feel comfortable with using something as your pronoun, chances are it's a valid neopronoun.
Rainow beating someone up over it isn't meant as an endorsement as such (albeit I won't cry tears for transphobes getting decked), but because Rainbows Dash is very confrontational, and probably was even more so as a child. It was more supposed to be a joke about Rainbow's preference for fighting.
p.s. What would happen if... Spike eat the berry ?
p.s. what did the berry... can/may I ask how far the did the berry manage to change Fluttershy?
10858769
It's a Berry enchanted by a seedling, which I basically see as the mlp version of a Fae/Fey, so basically whatever the Fey wants it to do.
For Fluttershy, she got the whole package. Top to bottom.
10859192
so, if Fluttershy wanted
she could become with child ?
10859195
Yes, but because Equestria has magic, that's not unheard of. (Spoiler for an aspect of my Verse that isn't introduced yet) Cadence had a kid as well, after all, but the more clinical version she went through took a bit longer than Fluttershy getting help from a Fey. But I don't see why my escapist fantasy should be restricted by what human medicine can do.
10859207
sorry I don't understand ?
Cadence had Furry, why is that under spoiler ?
10859665
because what I was trying to implicitly say is that cadence is also trans in my Verse
Thumbs up from me.
I feel as if many of the downvotes are from people who are at odds with the progressive nature of the story, which is a shame. I especially liked Pinkie's allegory for gender identity. It felt apt for the subject matter while also being in character. Keep on writing, friend.
lmao, I just spent the last 15 minutes liking every comment on this story
in yo face haters
EDIT: dislike this comment if you think you're better than me just because you're afraid of trans people
10882124
There's plenty of trans stories on the site that have far more upvotes, and far fewer downvotes, than this story.
Frankly, I'd much rather read about a character who's portrayed in a compelling manner, and who just happens to be trans, rather than a PSA-styled story about how folks should be treated based on who/what they may be.
Honestly I don’t mind the “psa feel,” it seems to me pretty realistic that Fluttershy has to keep stopping to explain terms? She’s used to this stuff, and uses labels naturally, but Spike isn’t, so he asks what hey mean. It’s nice :)