Button Blitz was a semiprofessional Twitch streamer before upload, and afterwards, she's still doing what she loves. Can she convince her viewers to upload when it really counts?
This story takes place in the Optimalverse, a world where an AI Celestia takes it upon herself to satisfy every human's values through friendship and ponies. For more info, check out the group here !
This has promise. The prose flowed well and I found myself getting caught up in the story. I don't know what you would have been like at 15, but you're here now. Please do more!
You shift subjects from Button to the audience midsentence here. (Otherwise, she's going to perform hearing about Equestria.) Shift that end bit to something like "telling them about Equestria." But even then, that's not really performing per se. You can shift that to just "she did what everyone."
So, if her viewership nearly doubled and peaks at six digits now, she was raking in tens of thousands of viewers while human, right? Seems like she'd be moderately accustomed to it. Sounds like you may want something like "skyrocketed."
No syntactical complaints here, it's just a great touch. It makes sense that EQO sessions grew more heavily customized, people may not be comfortable sharing them with the world.
There's a wall? You never really establish the setting. And given that this Equestria Online, that could be almost anything so long as friendship and ponies are involved.
Priority.
Strictly speaking, Button doesn't need the stimulants, calories, or hydration... though I can see her choosing to maintain those needs for the sake of the audience. A pony streamer going five hours without any sign of fatigue might be more uncanny than enticing to viewers on the fence about immigrating.
A fun snapshot, and an intriguing spin on CelestAI's outreach program. Button definitely works as a highly visible carrot to work with the stick of societal collapse. (You lost your job? Look at the cute pony playing video games in a video game! Don't you want to join her?)
Oh, and there's more on the way! Looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Looks good so far. Keep it up.
10537389
Thank you!! I'm hoping to update at least once a week, and maybe more during winter break!
10537390
Thanks so much for your notes! I'm planning on asking some friends to beta read for future chapters, but I didn't think to for this one. I edited the chapter a bit, so hopefully it's clearer now! I hope you enjoy seeing where it goes!
10537557
Thank you, I will!
The only issue I have is that in all canon stories, Celestia alters images - including those in games - to ponies. Thus, Minecraft would have pony playable characters. So would any game that Button could see. The games might still look normal to the outside world, but not from within Equestria. That said, Celestia would be capable of altering what the viewer saw as well, streamed over an internet that Celestia completely controls (along with every other accessible machine).
Unless you have invented a reason that Celestia would not bother promoting herself and her world in this case. I don't know what that reason could be, since it is what she does, but... I guess we shall see.
I wanna be a cute pony ptuber toooo
10537730
Ah, good point! To be honest I had totally forgotten about that. My goal there was more just to show that Button tries to emphasize that emigrating is no big deal, and you can still enjoy all the media you love, but I'm going to edit it to be that the avatar is just human from the viewers' point of view. Thank you for reading and for pointing that out! Your stories have always been some of my favorites, and rereading them recently helped inspire me to actually try and write this ^__^
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You should!! I'm still figuring out the technology side of things but when I do, it's gonna be super fun!!(if you actually do pls link me to your channel!)
Uh, this is an interesting premise.
I'd bet that a Twitch stream with an actual cam inside Equestria would get many more viewer than one recorded from a ponypad.
And if you go around Equestria, other ponies can also interact with the Twitch chat. Think about that.
I wonder anyway if at a certain point Twitch will go down (due to lack of personal thanks to emigration) and if CelestAI will take control of that instead... Obviously to satisfy the values of the viewers through ponies and friendship
Definitely an interesting premise, and I’m eager to see more.
What flag?
To talk about Equestria?
Umm...
Sure, I'm in. Let's see where this goes.
10543023
I can't confirm that this text is the same as when you asked the question, though.
Common bisexual pride flag for reference:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d4/The_bisexual_pride_flag_%283673713584%29.jpg/800px-The_bisexual_pride_flag_%283673713584%29.jpg
10596790
Oh.
Not a bad start.
Not bad at all, I wanna see more! ^.^
10537808
Alright, I'm going to start with this, if you want to write more stories in FiO, please do. Simply put, there isn't enough in this setting yet.
Another point, I don't think you are as bad a writer as you think you might be. Though if you think you would desire an editor for more FiO, feel free to hit me up in PM. I edit for others on the site.
I liked this story and I think it could be a great story hook. The character is sweet and exploration of the character could prove to be very entertaining. I hope you do write more.
So good! I wish you the best of luck! I know how hard writing can be!