• Published 27th Oct 2020
  • 5,937 Views, 261 Comments

Against All Odds. - The_Chill_Author

[Displaced] John Oliver is sent to Equestria with his Six friends as Thanos. After being sealed in stone, he broke out. Now his gauntlet, his stones, his blade, and his team are now scattered across the planet. Can he back bring balance to Equis?

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Rescue 5 A Heated Battle Part 2.

Find the Infinity Stones! Seek out for them all!
You can journey around Equis with me
Listen for the cry, of the Infinity Stones!
What a great odyssey this will be

You can join my conquest because my friends won't wait
A deadly world, a terrifying journey!

For thousands of years, they've waited for me
When the Infinity Stones are together their wrath is set free
Killing, Killing, burning, unmatched ecstacy~

Glowing and sparkling, somewhere concealed
Mysterious and shining with their power revealed
Ageless, timeless, their destruction is surprising~

Let’s fight, fight, fight, fight all your foes
Fight the gods and the demons below
No mercy, mercy, mercy, there's no other way!
And find the Infinity Stones today~

Find the Infinity Stones! Seek out for them all!
Come and join my conquest with me
Listen for the cry, of the Infinity Stones!
What a great odyssey this will be

You can join my conquest because my friends won't wait
A deadly world, a terrifying journey!

I grunt as I kick away a Royal Guard away, I had defeated absolutely ALL of the guards guarding this cave. ALL of them, I sighed as I dragged my feet deeper inside of the cave. It was annoying beating all of those guards up, it's like swatting away flies, so many of them and you can't seem to get them. But after a while, trial and error, I bested them all.

'I'm sure that I- Wait... What's that in the cave? Don't tell me it's ANOTHER Royal Guard.' I though as I spot a little silhouette in the cave.

"...You know who I'm thinking..." Abridged Thanos said, I groaned and clutched my forehead.

'Oh no, no, no, no...' I begged- nay, pleaded for it to be anyone else but her.

"It would seem that it was only fate," MCU Thanos piped up, I then swore and advanced.

'I swear to god I will maim her if she acts like Tony Stark. I will do so with NO remorse! NONE WHATSOEVER!!!' I growled mentally.

As I approached the figure I recognized it as, who would've guessed? Twilight fucking Sparkle. I stopped as she looked up at me, glaring into my eyes. I simply looked down back at her, our eyes were locked to each other. There was a pregnant pause, no one spoke, moved, or breathed.

"So-" I went to speak but I was cut off by the mare.

"Thanos, I can't let you pass. You've done enough harm already, I can't allow you to set Supergirl free, submit now and we'll shorten your sentence in Tartarus by five hundred years." Twilight negotiated, five hundred? She's saying that like its not a long time!

"Oh I'm not going to give up on Jessica, nor will I let her down. I well never run around and desert my friends, I will not make her cry while she's trapped in that infernal prison. And I will never say goodbye to them, I will never tell a lie to them nor hurt them. This... IS MY WARRIOR WAY!!!" I declared, pointing a finger at Twilight. (Get rickrolled Reader.)

"Then you leave me with no choice," Twilight said, she then readies her fists and they take on a magical glow. She then shoots a wave of magic from her fists, I then pull out my Infinity Blade and I use it as a shield. Surprisingly it pushed me back, I hummed with intrigue before I used jump in the air. Using Geppo, I kicked off the air and shot towards her like a rocket, Twilight spread her wings and shot to the ceiling. However with my Future Sight I predicted this, I then use Geppo to bounce off the air and towards her.

"Steam... Kick!" I then perform a roundhouse kick to her rib, steam boosting my leg as I slammed it into her. Letting out a wheeze Twilight crashed into the walls of the cave, the cave shook from the force. Looking up I saw stalactites, I then smile as a plan formed in my mind. I was then blasted in the chest by an ice spell, my chest was covered in ice. I then look up to see Twilight's horn glowing. "Really?" I said, raising an eyebrow, I then use my Netsu-Netsu No Mi to heat up my body, melting the ice. "You can't handle me, nay, you can't best me."

"I know I can't, but she can." Twilight said, pointing to the entrance of the cave, I turned towards it. And saw... Oh you gotta be shitting me, it was Celestia. She was holding Tora by her neck, she then threw her against the wall and the cave shook again. The stalactites were loosening.

"Ah, Master and Student versus the big bad villain! I think this is suppose to be happening at the finale and NOT the beginning of the war. Or it's just the cliché, 'Oh no, my master is dead, I must avenge them' type shit." I snarked, the two ponies then stand side by side.

"It's time we end this," Celestia said, turning to her student. Twilight nods and Celestia fires off a beam of light, piercing through my chest. I then fall down dead... Only to pop up behind of a rock.

"Hey Sunny!" I called out, Celestia turns to face me. "You missed, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!" I trolled as I tactically ran away. Celestia snarled and flared her wings, Twilight did the same.

"Don't let him get away!" The duo shot towards me as I ran away, as I went deeper into the cave I noticed that the cave turned into a caver. There was a bridge that lead to Supergirl, there she was, imprisoned in stone. However it was at least a mile wide. I looked around me and I saw pillars of rock held this place up, preventing it from falling, and to top it off there were red, orange, and pink crystals to light up the area. It was beautiful. "Wow..."

Though my moment of awe turned into pain as Celestia smashed her foot into the back of my head, making me go through the bridge and towards to lava. I fall in the lava or magma... Would it be called magma? Yeah, it's magma. Anyway, Celestia looked down the hole and Twilight finally caught up. "Did you get him?"

"I hope so," Celestia said solemnly, I then shot from the magma, my fist fueled with the element.

"Surprise motherfucker!" I then punched Celestia in her abdomen, making her spew saliva in a Dragon Ball Z like fashion. I then use steam to shoot the Princess of the Sun into Twilight. Knocking them off, fortunately for Twilight she caught Celestia and flew back on the bridge. I then turn around to face the trial that awaited me on my venture to free my comrade. I saw that there was a giant golem made out of pure obsidian and magma. I then shoot towards the golem, using steam to propel myself towards the golem, the golem was far and was in front of Supergirl. So it would be a few minutes or rather seconds because I'm fast as fuck.

I then hear Celestia speaking with Twilight in the background. "Twilight," She had grunted out, "Go, prevent Thanos from reaching Supergirl. You are our only hope, I've taken too much damage, his heat... His new found power is too much for even I to handle. But with the power of Friendship and the power of Good, you can send him back to the hole he crawled out of. Go." Celestia said, wow, what a speech.

"Okay, I'll do it, for you." Twilight said, going to her feet. I look at the golem as I was now close to it, I was picking up speed thus making an attack more effective. Though I'll have to be careful, with Jessica sealed in stone it'll be hard for me to go all out.

"Soaring... UPPERCUT!!!" Using steam to drive my fist into the golem's chin. I sent the bastard into the cavern's ceiling, shaking the cavern. The golem's then fell into the magma that was below the bridge, I then look at Jessica, we were ten meters away from each other. "At long last... Jessica, you shall be fr-" Pop




"Where's Jessica?" Jessica was no longer in front of me, I slowly turn around, steam began to emanate from my body as the bridge below me began to melt. "TWILIGHT YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!" I roared in pure unadulterated rage, I see Twilight flying towards the cave's exit. She wasn't far however, I took a step to advance but the golem had made it's appearance. Grabbing me and pulling me down into the magma, I fly out of the magma, the arms of the golem on me. I then roar and my Ki made the arms fling off of me, I glare at Twilight as she vanished. I then shoot towards Twilight... Only to be kicked by Celestia, I was then flung into multiple pillars of rock before slamming against the cavern's walls.

"You are not laying another finger on my student," Celestia declared, I seethed at her and I growl. "Are you angry, my, I haven't seen you this heated up."

"I will tear your atoms apart!" I growled, I shot towards Celestia... Only to make a hard left, shooting towards Twilight. "AFTER I GET JESSICA!!!"

"No!" Celestia went to her feet, only to drop to her knees, she then glowers at the scorch mark that left an imprint of my fist on her coat. I look back at Celestia and I cackle in victory, I then look at Twilight as she feebly tries to flap away like a little bug trying to escape a bird.

"I'm gonna getcha!" I said, as I pulled out my blade, using Kamisori I appeared above Twilight. A look of sheer horror adorned her face as I had my Infinity Blade over my head. "Double Bladed Style: Hell Spinner!" Spinning around, I made a fiery tornado, making Twilight drop Jessica to avoid it. Unfortunately for her, she was caught in the tornado anyway, I swiftly catch Jessica and set her down.

"Alright, time to release you," I said, I then clench my gauntlet hand, the Reality Stone began to grow with power and I touched Jessica's forehead. "Awaken Jessica of The Girls!" Like a mud mask, the pieces of stone broke apart and what was revealed was none other than Kara Zor-El aka Jessica. She drops into my arms, she was cold, I then use my Netsu Netsu No Mi to make her warm. I smile as I look down at my friend, I look up to see Twilight glaring at me. Her coat charred.

"What's next Thanos? What's next after this? Do you wipe of the Dragons, do you keep getting stronger? What happens when you win?" Twilight said, struggling to stand up correctly, she was shaking in fear. Twilight was scared of me, as she should.

"Balance," I simply said, "Everything will be in balance, there will be a perfect side of Good and Evil. A villain and a hero, chaos and order, everything will be as it should. This universe will never end, with the stones that only I can wield. I have the power to make the universe never end! I can make the age of the universe loop to a certain point that you still age and die yet time still moves on. I can stop every single star from exploding, I can prevent the inevitable heat death of the universe! Me winning is inevitable, I am inevitable, so why do you struggle? I WILL win, I will not fail, you know why? It's because I have friends." I then hear a moan, looking down I see Jessica snuggling in my arms.

"What do you mean, Thanos?" Twilight asked, I looked up with her with a smile.

"Think Twilight, all of your enemies, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, King Sombra, Sunset Shimmer, Tirek, and Cozy Glow never had friends. They didn't have any other strong allies they could depend on, no one to back them up when they fail. It was all about them, their strength, no second in command, NOTHING. That's how you won, you had allies that were all as strong as you if not stronger, what happens if another so-called villain has that power? It's if an unstoppable force meets an immovable object Twilight, with my friends we are unstoppable!" I said, looking at Twilight's face of horror.

"Each and everyone of my friends walked through hell and didn't get burnt, each of them can take down armies, destroy cities with a swipe of their hand. What happens when inexperienced fighters such as yourselves go against people who have YEARS of experience?" I then grin and let out a cackle, throwing my head back. "You and your puny army can't hold a CANDLE to us, now take Celestia and leave. She's the ONLY one out of all of you who can pose a threat to us, run along you fool." Twilight looked at me, conflicted, I then take a step forth. The step startled her and she scrambled away like the coward that she is.

"You talked your way out of conflict? Is this a dream? Normally you rush into things head on." I look down and I see Jessica looking at me, I crack her a warming smile.

"Yeah, yeah shut up," I set her on her feet, she was wobbly and fell over, thankfully I caught her. I then carry her since this is better now, "We REALLY need to get you caught up." I say walking into the light of the outside.

I stood there in my air ship, my men standing guard in case somepony dares sneak into our ship. I look down as the Minotaurs spill out of their ships and down onto the main battlefield. I look to my right hand man, Flash Sentry.

"Rain hell on those air ships," I said, pointing to the air ships that had Minotaurs in it. Flash Sentry nodded, and looked back at our men.

"RAIN HELL ON THOSE AIR SHIPS!!!!" Flash Sentry barked, the Earth Ponies that were currently linked with the gunsmen nod.

"Fire the can- Wait, what do you mean the cannons are destroyed? HE'S HERE?!?! GET OUT OF THERE!!!" One of the Earth Ponies cried out, I turn to face the Earth Pony.

"Soldier, what the Tartarus is going on there?" I approach the Earth Pony, he looked up at me fearfully.




"Do you hear that?" I said, looking around, trying to locate the voice. "It sounds like heavy metal music." After I had said that, the air ship shook and I nearly got knocked off my feet. "The Tartarus was that?!" Then Flash Sentry gave me a look, a look of sheer terror.

"C-Captain Sh-Shining A-A-Armor... B-b-be-behind you..." Flash Sentry said softly, gulping down his saliva. I slowly turn around and placed my hand on the hilt of my blade, when I turned around... I saw General Grievous with a white and blue aura.

"Hmph, you realize you're out numbered right?" I said smiling as I took out my blade, he said no words. "No last words? Hm, fine by me." I then stab Grievous... Only to find him gone, a wave of heat hit my back as I heard a deafening explosion. When I turned around I found all of my men dead, Flash Sentry had a metal pipe stuck through his chest. I gasp and I hear more explosions, I then run to the windows to see what was happening outside. I saw a blue streak crashing through our air ships. The first ship, the blue streak crashed through the engine and started to make holes in it like a worm eating an apple. It made it's way to... Oh no, Luna's ship! The Lunar Nuova! I cried out but they couldn't hear me, signals were cut off.

"Damn it!" I swore, the Lunar Nuova then explodes for a wave of pure lightning slammed into the air craft, causing an explosion. Soon after a pillars of rock penetrated through another one of our greatest ships, the ship then slowly slides to the ground off the pillars. I gasped and watched the damn thing explode, what kind of monster would do- I then hear a pop! I slowly turn around and I see Grievous, blood on his body but not his.

"Rip and tear until it is done." He then drove his sword deep inside of me. I let out a moan of pain.

"Y-you're splitting me apart," I grunted out as he drove it deeper until it was all the way in. The Cybernetic General said no words, "Y-you're sure not the gentle one... A-are you...?" Grievous then pulls out and kicks me into the metal floor. I then feel the aircraft going down and he give me one look.

"You're mad sus," And like that he pierced through the ceiling and left.

"The fuck does sus mean?"

"And then I was ran over by PHIL FUCKING SWIFT!!!" I said laughing, Jessica erupted into laughter and leaned on me for support. We were now walking side by side.

"Man, you've sure gotten stronger since we've last met, are you strong enough to make me limp should we-" I then put a hand over her mouth.

"Shut up," I said shaking me head, she then licks my hand and I snatch my hand away from her mouth. "DISGUSTING!!!" I called out, Jessica just grinned.

"You made me do it," Jessica said, pointing finger guns at me.

"Anyways, I got what I came for-" I was then cut off when Jessica spun around, twirling around me before she stopped in front of me.

"So you actually ejaculated when I touched your leg that one time? You're a simp!" Jessica touched my chest with her index finger and gave me a cheeky smile. I raise my hand up and I chop her on the top of her head, Jessica's whole body except her heat went into the ground.

"Fuck you, you horny bastard," I then walk around her and she fly up from the little hole I made her. Jessica then began to fly next to me, her hands on the back of her head, flying backwards.

"Well being sealed in stone doesn't really make you less needy. Hey Big T, wanna scratch my itch when we get home?" Jessica said, raising an eyebrow.

"I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU LEAVE ME A LONE THEN YES!!!!" I roared, I then hear a groan and I look below me. There lays Tora, "Oh hi Tora." Tora then jumps to her feet.

"Back and ready to fight sir, where is Celestia sir?" Tora said, saluting to me.

"She's currently recovering after I punched her with steaming hot magma," I said, pushing past her, Tora's mouth fell agape.

"Don't leave your mouth open, flies will get in your mouth." Jessica warned, pushing Tora's chin up and closing her mouth. Tora then turns to me.

"I-I knew you were strong sir but I never knew you were THIS strong." Tora then walks beside me, I glance at her and I put my hands behind my back.

"I'm a Titan, we're naturally born to be stronger than even the strongest ponies around. Now Tora please be a dear and go alert the others that it's time to go." I say brushing Tora off, she gave me a salute.

"Sir yes sir, I will not fail you, sir!" Tora then runs off to alert the others.

"So... Is that like, your Police Girl to your Alucard or..." Jessica mused, I just rub my eyebrows.

"If you mean student; yes, yes she is. Tora has some beef with Celestia after she killed Tora's kin, the... Human Tribes I think? So she's absolutely dedicated to my cause and especially in fighting Celestia, she got her ass kicked fighting her as I got here." I explained, Jessica then opened her mouth. "And she's a Futa, and is also apart of the New CP9, so far she's the only member. So I guess it's CP2." Jessica then pouts like a brat, and immediately Lucci, Warmonger, Entity, Sally, Grievous, and Nappa were present. Though Grievous had the aura of Ultra Instinct.

"Whoa, you have a SICK aura," Jessica said, looking at Grievous... Though he didn't respond, "Oh okay, that's cool, just ignore me.

"So you the Jessica everyone's been talking about, wanna fight?" Nappa said, smashing his fist into his palm.

"Only if you buy me drinks for a day," Jessica said, turning to Nappa with a grin.

"Why the hell not?" Nappa said with a shrug, Sally just sighed in a joyful manner.

"Finally, it's been a LONG time since we've talked Jessica." Sally said, smiling at the Kryptonian.

"You say it Sal, say, have you and Entity gotten married yet?" Jessica asked, Sally just pinched Entity's cheek.

"No, because this little shit is too scared!" Sally said, Entity then grimaced at the pain, Jessica just laughs. Grievous then stops as the Dragon Lord himself appeared before us, Celestia, Luna and their so-called protectors side by side with them. We then all stop and there was a face off. Grievous and Lord Torch, Supergirl and Luna, Lucci and Applejack, Warmonger and Sunset Shimmer, Nappa and Twilight, Sally and Rarity, Entity and Pinkie. These were the people who were staring at each other and of course, me and Celestia.

"It's time we send you meanies packing!" Pinkie Pie said, smashing her fist into her palm.

"No you," I simply replied, giving her a middle finger.

"Hey, hey, I have an idea!" Jessica then whispers something devious into my ear, with a smile that mimicked the Grinch I looked at Pinkie Pie.

"Hey Pinkie, I pinkie promise that I will win. Cross my heart, hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye." Entity just shot me a horrified look.

"You monster," Entity said, holding a blocky hand to his mouth. "You absolute villain."

"How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doing what comes-" Lucci then slaps my bald ass head, "Okay I deserved that. So where were we? Serious conversation here with us staring intently in our eyes like some kind of couple. What is this? Hearts and Hooves Day? Fuck off will you guys? We all ready w-" Grievous took a single step and Celestia and her goons were blown away. Grievous was now in front of Lord Torch, standing on his tusk.

"Die." Grievous touched the hilt of his Earth Sword and a huge spike of earth sqewered the Dragon Lord like a pig. The pillar then shoots up to the skies and went above the clouds, at that moment out jaws dropped.

"Holy shit man he didn't even expect that!" We all exclaim, Grievous just looked back at us.

"Exactly, thank you for the distraction, my first Dragon Lord slain. I wonder what else I can kill." Grievous then walks forth to our main air ship, Nappa looks at us before following the General. We loom at each other nervously before following him.

Dear god Grievous has no chill.

Author's Note:

Chapters are going to be getting shot at you like you're a white man in the hood!

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