• Member Since 26th May, 2012
  • offline last seen May 6th, 2021

CalmNQuiet


I try to tell the stories others tell better than me.

T

A series of short, unrelated vignettes featuring Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash’s budding relationship. It’s supposed to be quite sappy and slice-of-life-y. I intend to release more chapters as I find time to write them, and I have a list of themes and situations I’d like to explore. Rated Teen for kisses, displays of affection, etc. There is no continuity between chapters unless explicitly stated.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 58 )

lol wut i thumbs up and it dose 2??? hmm well im liking the mini story idea, keep it up! Twi dash.... oh the shenanigans

1245696 Thanks for the support Capt! I'm not exactly a great writer yet so I have trouble with huge story-lines. I figured the mini-stories contained within chapters would be the best way to improve my skills. :twilightsmile:

1245755 Lol Obama pie.

1245718
chapter two to me was diabeticlicious. I'm really liking these. :twilightsmile:

1245866 I'm glad you like my work! To be honest, I felt I had a better grasp of the characters by the 2nd chapter. My goal is to churn out more sugary sweetness for Twilight and Rainbow! :derpytongue2:

Cute. Liked and favorited

I was going to say something about It feeli g really rushed and sudden but the. I remembered that this was just a scene. Still, seeing as its close to the theoretical first scene I feel like Twilight could be a little less... Willing? Pushy? Rainbow Dash was the one who's idea the whole thing was, obviously, but by the time it was halfway through it sounded more like twilight was trying to make it happen. Like I said this is obviously just a scene in a nonexistent greater picture but I feel like that scene. Oils be a little less rushed.

1246006 I admit that there is a lot more to be explored in their relationship. Especially since I didn't provide much background for either of them. Everything is written in the context that they are already "in-love" but trying various ways to culminate it into something more tangible. I'm guessing some chapters will be more apparent while others would seem to be the first anxious steps toward a relationship. I'll try to be more mindful of the pacing in future chapters - there's no reason why I can't do a longer scene or maybe a few scenes interconnected. :scootangel:

Nonono. There's no need for pacing in future chapters. The (not even really a) problem with thee pacing here is that it seems to be early on. The first chapter, for examole, was perfect and didn't need any "resistance/come to terms". In this chapter it's pretty obvious that Dashie already has feelings for Twilight, but Twilight doesn't seem to already return them, yet she falls for her so uikley. I'm not good at getting my point across, so sorry if I'm confusing. Don't pace future chapters though, only really early-in-the-relationship ones, if that makes any sense

1246071 I think I understand, though I still feel that a little more exposition would never hurt. I'm going to keep it in mind for the future. :twilightblush:

I think I'm really going to enjoy reading this. What an awesome idea!

I'm writing my own "Twilight and Dash slowly fall for each other" story, so it'll be interesting.

"If Twilight could think straight, she’d notice Dash’s surprisingly graceful movements... Unfortunately for Twilight, Dash’s grace didn’t extend to her movements."

Uhh... I feel like one of these sentences should change.

I'm enjoying the stories a lot so far though!

The second chapter was FAR sweetier than the first one :twilightblush:

Rainbow and Twilight dancing? :rainbowderp: Unusual reffering to RD, but sweet and awesome referring to TwiDash :heart: Awesome idea! :pinkiehappy:

My English isn't perfect, so it's very hard to me to notice grammar mistakes if they occurred.

I'm looking forward to read more :twilightsmile:

So... I really like this. I'm tired and not sure what else I might want to say, but yeah. I like it.

1246495 Thank you! I look forward to reading your take on TwiDash!
1246870 I'm glad you are enjoying the stories. My editor actually tweaked that very sentence and I wasn't sure if it's exactly what I was going for. I may go back and adjust it at some point.
1247104 It's hard to find an excuse for RD to dance, but hey, love makes you do crazy things. Love and being cool in Rainbow's case. :rainbowwild:
1247222 Thank you! I'm aiming to please. :twilightsmile:

I saw this added to one group or another, I think. Anyways, a couple suggestions:

- Beware of repeated words.
The nibbles progressed lower along her well-brushed mane, which was more than likely shifting from brushed to anything but brushed.
- I'd remove the second 'brushed' or change 'anything but brushed' to an antonym such as 'unkempt.'
- Avoid tense changes.
Fully revitalized from her little study break, Twilight made a mental note to thank Rainbow later. The pegasus always showed up right when Twilight needed her somehow. Still, her studies beckoned. The book’s pea-soup of words grates against her brain like sandpaper. Groaning in disgust, Twilight face-plants into the tome spread before her.
- The imperfect and preterite are fine, but I'd change 'grates' and 'face-plants' to the preterite.

You may want to check out some groups. Here's a couple I've joined recently that might help: Author Support, The Writers' Group, and a useful group for proofreaders.

1247825 Thank you for your insightful comments. I'm exploring the groups you linked right now. In terms of the word-choice and tense changes, I'm surprised my editor and I let them though. I'm going to modify my original draft in Google Docs and then let my editor look it over. :twilightblush:

1245696 Someone else thumbsed up in between you looking at this page or reading the story and then giving your thumb, so when you did it updated to show both.

I really like your writing style and you show the story better than most. :twilightsmile:
I eagerly await more...
Keep at it!:rainbowdetermined2:

You've taken some incredibly amazing D'aaww scenarios and put them together into one story of my favorite ship. I think this might just be one of my favorite things ever. They're actually really well made too, not too many errors and to be honest I like the pacing and development of each chapter. The first one might have ended rather abruptly but it fits well for RD to change gears like that. Second one was just beautiful. Please keep it up, I love this.

1245718 if they are unrelated then i think it is supposed to be the "random" tag right?

1249804 You flatter me! I'm just getting into writing. Still, I really appreciate the compliments. :twilightsmile:
1250456 Thanks for your support, I'm trying to be careful and not make too many mistakes. I'm actually hoping I'll be able to write slightly longer scenes for more D'awww-ness for everyone. Currently working on the outline for the next one.
1250760 I was actually curious about this myself. I checked the FAQ on this site and it said that the Random tag was for stories which are "incoherent" and a sort of sub-category of comedy. So I didn't end up picking the Random tag. Hopefully I'm not messing anything up as a result! :derpytongue2:

This series is adorable and I love it.

Also 'moderate-cerise' makes me want to stab a puppy. Don't.. don't do that? Please?

But keep up the cuteness!

Sweet, i gonna keep an eye on further uploads. <3

D'aaawwww~ :raritystarry:

Adorable chapter, really like this sentence: Twilight flushed from her tail-tip to her ear-tips. :twilightblush:
A red Twilight appears! :rainbowkiss:

1252577 I apologize for the 'moderate-cerise'. My editor actually called me on it and I gave him some silly reason about how I wanted to describe Dash's eyes as Magenta, then Cerise then Moderate-Cerise because there always seems to be variations in how her eye color is described. However, I solemnly swear never to modulate her eye color description again. :twilightsheepish:
1253156 Twilight is a lucky pony! Thanks for your support!

Wow that was a great chapter I can’t wait for the next one.:twilightsmile::rainbowlaugh:

Simply beautiful. I can't believe this is your first attempt at writing these fics. They seem really well put together to me. I love them to death and I reread them when I feel a bit sad, always makes me happier.

Question though, how long are you planning on continuing it?

You should do a full length Twidash story, you have the characterization spot on and the skill to do it, and seeing the relationship form always make it so much sweeter.

Maybe something where Twilight, who's in the closet, comes out to Rainbow, (its always been the other way around in the stories I've read) who helps her overcome her fear, and come out to her friends and family. (and Celestia) While they explore their own feelings for each other.

I hope that doesn't sound like a stupid story idea. :twilightsheepish: Either way please continue to write Twidash your so good at it! :twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

Arms?:trixieshiftright:
Good read though.

I think my blood just got caramelized. :heart:

As much as I love these stories, I'm gonna go ahead and be a douchebag after eac chapter. First, you repeated something somewhere in there really close to eachother. It was the same sentence like two paragraphs down. If you do this repeatedly, it becomes a way to tell the story, but doing it just once is really awkward. Secondly, never use obscure words for descriptions. Whatever color yu said RD's eyes were, nobody's heard of it. That takes away from the effectiveness of the description because it confuses readers and makes the writing seem to precise and kinda emotionless. Magenta or maybe a tiny bit more specific is about where you want to be. Third, and this is mostly personal preference, but Twilgt calls Rainbow Dash "Dash" like six times. Lovers don't refer to eachother by their last name. That's mostly my head cannon for Equestrian names talking, but it seems kinda awkward. Amazing chapter though and surprisingly long. Keep up the good work

An intolerant Equestria? Unexpected, but it only serves to show how strong their love is. I yearn for more chapters from you. :ajsmug:

And yes, I knew exactly what cerise what as soon as I read it. :raritywink:

1268191 Thank you. I'd say more, but I don't really know what to say.
1268241 I intend to continue writing these until I'm comfortable with various story elements. I'm glad my stories make you happy, I wrote them to cheer myself up as well after reading some of the sadder stories on the site.
1268361 Ah-heh-heh, I may have slipped up here and there. Or maybe my editor, I'm still getting used to this.
1268633 Indeed! I feel a little bad about using such a plot device to drive conflict - but I'm still learning.
1268725 Aww, that's so sweet! Now excuse me as I hide from the pun-police.
1270472 I do have quite a few issues I'm still working out when it comes to using pronouns, nouns, word variation. I will probably stay more consistent and call Rainbow Dash by either her full name or Rainbow. The eye colors, the official color is moderate-cerise. My editor dinged me on using it, but I insisted. Currently I'm torn between cerise and magenta. I do like to use more obscure words from time to time for the sake of being flowery, but I guess that's a risk I'm willing to take.
1270927 Yep, I felt bad for doing a less than tolerate Equestria. However, since I imagine that prejudices in some form or another, it was a stretch I was willing to take for the sake of driving some conflict. I'm hoping for something a little more idyllic next time.

1268347 I almost forgot your comment! I'm contemplating a longer story but it's much harder to do. I'd need to finish outlining a full story synopsis first (I'm maybe 10% there). I also need to drive some conflict beyond general angst and emotional pressures from either parents, friends or mentor. I'll certainly keep everyone posted. However, I highly doubt it will appear in any shape or form until I am more comfortable with writing and I start to wrap up my writing practice in this story series.

So, so much sweet! :pinkiesad2: I knew that Twi wouldn't imagine her life without Rainbow! :twilightblush::rainbowkiss:

Love it, love it so much! :D Wanna more! :twilightsmile:

This is the only fan-fic I've read where ponies were anti-gay, it made me kinda sad :fluttercry:

1280881 I'm go happy you like it. I really poured a lot of emotions into this chapter.
1282511 I'm sorry I made you sad! I didn't want all the ponies to be unsupportive, just some of them. I used it as a catalyst to introduce some conflict into the story, my intention is to make my future scenes much more accommodating. Love and friendship right? :twilightsheepish:

1282563
well, that part was supposed to be sad, so it did its job

GAH! DA FEELS!
Awesome work though:twilightsmile:

:raritycry::raritydespair::fluttershbad: NO PLEASE DONT STOP THIS STORY I ALMOST BROKE MY PC CAUSE THIS ENDED *CRY* KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!

For some reason, when Rainbow Dash and Twilight took off into the air at the beginning, this started playing in my head: :pinkiegasp:

I'm very much enjoying these little vignettes, keep up the great work! :pinkiehappy:

Lovely. Twas a beautiful read.

Indeed, these were a lot of fun and obviously quite heartfelt. Well done! :twilightsmile:

that was a cool slice of life just enough to make it very good and realistic.:twilightsmile:

Ok that was a very cute and I think Dash purposely did that I already think she could dance lol :rainbowlaugh:

Daaaaw! that was so cute and it hit me in the feels good feels. :twilightsmile:

All theses slice of life of Twilight's and Rainbow Dash's relationship was beautiful it's a sham it has come to an end :ajsleepy: But they were all good and well done I look forward to whatever of your works interests me in the future. :twilightsmile:

This is adorable Twidash with some very vivid descriptions and stunning scenery. The setup with the fire is particularly nice. I like how this chapter just focuses on the purity and innocense of a slowly budding attraction.

Login or register to comment