• Member Since 11th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 10th, 2014

Poppinfresh


Had some fan-fic ideas I mulled over for a while. Then wrote part of them, but they didn't get a whole lot of attention on DeviantArt. So, I figured I'd try my luck here.

E
Source

Rainbow Dash is the world's greatest flyer. Not only because she practices and trains so much she could wear out the Wonderbolts, but also because she has turned flying into her own personal therapy.

However, some feelings don't just go away on their own.

Some feelings, you can't outfly.

Chapters (3)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 109 )

*Author's Note*
From here on out I'm just gonna make any additional notes I have to say in the first comment. Since putting them in the description or at the beginning or end of the story doesn't look good.

Anyway, author's notes on "When I Can Fly"
Apparently, shipping is popular, like really popular. I guess I already knew that since I've been reading fanfics for quite a while, and funny enough, my favorites were always shipfics.
After "Compassion For the Great" was published and the response I've gotten to it over "The Everfree Conspiracy" 's reception (Which is to say, none), I decided to write another shipfic. Hopefully this one will turn out well, I was originally going to do this as a quick one shot story. but I've found this style of writing to be entertaining and from what I've seen not often done.

As always, and as any good aspiring writer should say, feedback is always welcome. I even take the angry hate-filled vile that some people throw at me into consideration, because sometimes they actually make a good point somewhere between their brutish insults and poor spelling. Needless to say though, I do prefer positive, constructive criticism (or endless praise, your pick).

Regardless of what you may think of my story though, thanks for reading!

this is going to read later list it sounds really inrteresting tho :)

D'aww, loved it. Great job :3

Leaving the story out because I didn't read (yet), you should give credit to nIde.
(The artist of the picture, pretty sure he doesn't mind you using it though.)

Just sayig.

1084425 "I think I'm going to write another ship fic"
Wake up.
"poppinfresh has posted a new story..."

1st person Dashie? While she is more or less in character? I foresee good things in store for this fic my friend. However, I would be unable to live with myself if I didn't aid you by pointing out a few errors I found during my run through:

It feels me with a certain kind of peace
I think you meant fills.

The air around my is getting colder,
me?

There were a couple others, but those were the only ones that stuck out. This story wasn't bad, but with an editor, you could make it great. I recommend checking out this group if you are so inclined. http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=27

Good start, can't wait to see where it's going.
Track+thumbs up

1085493
Thanks for the heads up, those two issues should be fixed now.
Unfortunately, I am my own editor and proof reader so I try not to let things too big get by me, but a lot of the smaller (and in my opinion, the most annoying) mistakes get through.

I'll give this another look through for errors again as soon as I can.

1085302
Source has now been added.
Thanks for the link.

"Whatever egghead"

Yuck. Just yuck. This isn't Rainbow Dash at all. Your characterization of her is fairly good, I think, but why the hay is she talking to Twilight like that??

The chapter is fairly good otherwise. I'll look forward to the next bit!

1086579
The idea is to show that Rainbow Dash is intentionally being a little more crass with Twilight Sparkle than usual. The more she talks to Twilight, the more she will think about her. This is why unless Rainbow Dash is speaking to Twilight directly, she still only refers to Twilight as "She" or "Her."

Calling Twilight egghead to her face isn't a nice thing to do (though I will point out she calls Twilight egghead quite a lot in the actual show), but that's the point, you always hurt the ones you love.

I'll work on trying to get my points across better in future chapters and stories though, thanks for the feedback!

I had to check this thing's completion status after reading, just to dispel my fears that that was it. You have no idea how relieved I was.

Usually I don't like the fanfics that have one of the mane 6 falling for another because thats not what i'm into but this is REALLY REALLY GOOD. :heart::heart:

The paragraphing leaves a little to be desired, but characterization is spot on - for an example, that last line would have been out of character(too fast) if it wasn't for built up context as well as a bit of RD's impulsiveness; good job dodging that bullet.

I like it. :) You're right, non-ship fics don't get a lot of attention, and that should change, but this is still really cute and i'd love to see how it goes.

:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:
I STILL love this.

EDIT: congrats on the feature box :)

why do you keep calling her appledash?

Aplledash? Do you mean Applejack? Appledash is the ApplejackxRainbow Dash ship name. This is really good though, and I can't wait to see what happens next. The ending was good and I sorta think I know what's happening, (Twight upset cause she thinks RD was joking and she returns the feelings?) but it could be something else so update asap, please.

1091221
My apologies. I fixed that now.
Writing at 5 in the morning after a long day at work and reading shipfics is probably not the best time to write.

There were some major issues with punctuation, but I liked it. I would suggest looking that over if you have some free time because it would read a lot better that way.

1085724 Yes. Just yes.
"I wish you’d be surprised with what you like.
Wow, that was stupid."
The sappyness and bits of humor throughout this story are just awesome; this kind of writing style, if done right, always gives me chills.
The TwiDash part doesn't hurt though :twilightsmile::rainbowwild:

1091292

Understandable yet hilarious typo :rainbowlaugh:

Still, a very well written story with mostly unflawed grammar. Can't wait for the next chapter!

i am going to halve to congratulate on a great story.
i can not stand first person narratives but i really like this one.
I can not what for more.:twilightsheepish:

Minor spelling mistakes. xDD It kinda threw off the flow in the first chapter and more in the second, but I'm always happy to see some twidash. Sorry, I'm a little iffy about it.

This is what goes through my mind as I read the chapter title

MORE SOON PLEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :heart::heart::heart:

I need MOAR!! I can't end it on saddness and cliffhangers! D: :raritycry:

I feel like this really needs a sad tag in addition to its romance tag.
Great work though. Fun to read. The perspective really gives her emotions the proper attention. It's very refreshing :twilightsmile:

Well you guys are all great. I appreciate the feedback you've all given me so far.
I'll give both chapters another look-see for grammar and spelling mistakes again before I work on the next chapter, I know just how much those little bits of errors can take you out of a story you're enjoying. If you want to point out specific errors in the comments, I will be more than happy to fix them as soon as possible. Unless of course, I made an error on purpose, in which case I'll explain the reasoning behind it. I'm a little new to this first person stuff, so I apologize if it feels like Dash falls out of character sometimes. Thanks for reading everypony!

I like the oddly-clustered paragraph spacing. It feels illustrative.

1093719
I'm glad you do. Adding a little more character through text formatting is what I was going for.

1091533
I watched that video.
And I'm not ashamed to admit that I did in fact dance along with the beat, and I did in fact kinda like it.

I'm very much enjoying this story, but I have one question:

Why are all of your pronouns capitalized? There's no reason for that unless your character literally has no name at all...:applejackconfused:

Anyway, that minor flaw aside, keep up the great work!:pinkiehappy:

1094345
I assume you're referring to "She" being capitalized. If that's the case, then I'm glad you noticed! There is actually a point to that, which is that Rainbow Dash doesn't like addressing Twilight Sparkle by name in her thoughts, it helps her try to forget that she's thinking about Twilight. But in order to help dispel any confusion, I capitalized "She" and even "Her" in many places to help the reader understand that Rainbow Dash is still thinking about Twilight Sparkle.

oh gahd. killin' me with the cliffhanger mate! this is some good readin'!:pinkiehappy:

D'AAAAAAWWWWWW! SOO cuuuuute! :rainbowkiss:

I think I just got diabetes from reading that.

1097079
Is there any other kind after reading something like this?

1097096
I suppose not.
Thanks for reading!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!