A deal between rulers, a bargain that seems too good to be true, and a unicorn caught in the middle of it all. Between Celestia, Luna, and Chrysalis, how is anypony supposed to stay sane?
A few month ago, Rainbow Dash found Twilight stargazing up on the balcony of Golden Oaks library. Ever since then she comes back, every night, and listens to Twilight's lectures on everything astronomy.
When a clash of cultures accidentally leads to Scootaloo getting in a fight with her shy new classmate, it's up her big sis Rainbow Dash (and a garishly-dressed Twilight) to help her realize the importance of getting along with griffons.
This was a thoroughly enjoyable story. Beautifully written and it flowed smoothly from scene to scene.
Certainly one of the best TwiDash fics out there, and I do believe it beats your other one, despite this being shorter.
The only thing I think is "lacking" is some buildup before the dream starts. I'd have wanted to see Twi present the "gift" for Dash. Though that is, at best, a minor point.
I felt that this story had a lousy build up to the gift. this story leaps straight into the middle of the story where as your other Twidash had one thing leading to another. Perhaps you could include a circumstance that made Twi want to do this for dash. Other than that though, it was wonderfully written. 5 stars!
Well, the reason is Hearts and Hooves Day as I wrote in the description and they're already a couple in here. I just felt that an inevitably dialogue heavy lead up was unnecessary, since Dash and the reader with her discover things as she goes along anyway. I really wanted to focus on conveying the dream parts.
I'm still surprised that people on here actually remember me and my story from almost half a year ago.
I, on the other hand to many, thought that starting the story where you did was a good idea. It left some ambiguity in the exact nature of the relationship between the two until the very end, which I'm sure was the intention. Sometimes build-up is unnecessary.
Lucid dreaming... what I would give to master such a thing... then again I have enough trouble ending dreams as it is. The introduction, I have to admit, sounded somewhat like a cheesy clopfic intro. Had I not seen the rating beforehand I would have expected shenanigans leading to clop-punchline. Oddly though, I think that may have been intentional, and works to the benefit of the story. I enjoyed it, even if I found snowboard Twilight to be a little unbelievable... But when have dreams ever been fully consistent with reality?
And lastly... that feeling of knowing how to fly... using muscles you don't have in ways that can't work... it's a great feeling.
Yes, dreams don't always reflect reality, but rather a bit abstractly how the brain perceives it to be. I've once dreamt about snowboarding for whatever reason even when I've never done so in real life. But I can imagine how it would work and lo and behold in the dream I could.
But I don't see how the introduction could lead consistently to a clopfic.
(I apologize if this message appears many times... I'm having serious connection issues with the server)
it was the 'Lay down' and 'don't want to wake up in the middle' lines.
For some reason, though I rather loathe cigarette smoke... I tend to have dreams I'm a smoker trying to quit... then again I also dream I'm doing an impossible to complete task and for whatever reason I'm not allowed to stop until I finish...
(is anyone else having consistent gateway errors lately? I can barely access the site at all)
226068 Wait, you wrote Dawn of a New Day? And it's not on here yet for me to Favorite? I found that on EQD, and was sad when I could never find anything else by the same author, and now I know it's cuz you were hiding it!
That story is still one of my all-time favorites, and this one is a perfect sequel to it. The way you blend their personalities is beautiful, and the imagery of the worlds they visit is fantastic.
This was a thoroughly enjoyable story. Beautifully written and it flowed smoothly from scene to scene.
Certainly one of the best TwiDash fics out there, and I do believe it beats your other one, despite this being shorter.
The only thing I think is "lacking" is some buildup before the dream starts. I'd have wanted to see Twi present the "gift" for Dash. Though that is, at best, a minor point.
I felt that this story had a lousy build up to the gift. this story leaps straight into the middle of the story where as your other Twidash had one thing leading to another. Perhaps you could include a circumstance that made Twi want to do this for dash. Other than that though, it was wonderfully written. 5 stars!
225957
Thank you. The other one was written five months ago and I'd like to think that I've learnt some things since then.
226032
Well, the reason is Hearts and Hooves Day as I wrote in the description and they're already a couple in here. I just felt that an inevitably dialogue heavy lead up was unnecessary, since Dash and the reader with her discover things as she goes along anyway. I really wanted to focus on conveying the dream parts.
I'm still surprised that people on here actually remember me and my story from almost half a year ago.
226049
Are you kidding? Dawn of a new day is legendary. Just post it here. I dare you. your inbox will probably explode once people find it.
226056
I was going to do that anyway, but I wanted to make some (or many) revisions to it first. Reading through it again now gave me shivers.
226068
It's not that bad... although after such a long time to mature your idea, I'm interested to see what comes out of it.
It's okay. It lacks build up and you kind of already know where it's going. Still, I liked it.
An enjoyable story. You have some very evident talent to create captivating scenery.
PS. I would give you some stars, but WHAT THE HAY? Somepony replaced them with lousy thumbs up/down... What to do, oh what to do?
Ah, well, home a thumb up then.
the Fluff is strong in this one. Gotta say I enjoyed it
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/211/9/5/ditsy_gives_a_thumbs_up_by_pogogo51-d424uls.png
That is all.
Four hooves up! Loved it
loved it!!
that is all
kthanxbai
I, on the other hand to many, thought that starting the story where you did was a good idea. It left some ambiguity in the exact nature of the relationship between the two until the very end, which I'm sure was the intention. Sometimes build-up is unnecessary.
Great fic. I liked Most of it (Except for the No buildup to the gift thing), but over all great job. 5 stars
Lucid dreaming... what I would give to master such a thing... then again I have enough trouble ending dreams as it is. The introduction, I have to admit, sounded somewhat like a cheesy clopfic intro. Had I not seen the rating beforehand I would have expected shenanigans leading to clop-punchline.
Oddly though, I think that may have been intentional, and works to the benefit of the story. I enjoyed it, even if I found snowboard Twilight to be a little unbelievable... But when have dreams ever been fully consistent with reality?
And lastly... that feeling of knowing how to fly... using muscles you don't have in ways that can't work... it's a great feeling.
229264
Yes, dreams don't always reflect reality, but rather a bit abstractly how the brain perceives it to be. I've once dreamt about snowboarding for whatever reason even when I've never done so in real life. But I can imagine how it would work and lo and behold in the dream I could.
But I don't see how the introduction could lead consistently to a clopfic.
(I apologize if this message appears many times... I'm having serious connection issues with the server)
it was the 'Lay down' and 'don't want to wake up in the middle' lines.
For some reason, though I rather loathe cigarette smoke... I tend to have dreams I'm a smoker trying to quit... then again I also dream I'm doing an impossible to complete task and for whatever reason I'm not allowed to stop until I finish...
(is anyone else having consistent gateway errors lately? I can barely access the site at all)
229592
You're not the only one. I'm having those problems, too. The gateway ones, not the smoking dreams.
Wow,
110/100
That was so beautiful.
226068
Wait, you wrote Dawn of a New Day? And it's not on here yet for me to Favorite? I found that on EQD, and was sad when I could never find anything else by the same author, and now I know it's cuz you were hiding it!
That story is still one of my all-time favorites, and this one is a perfect sequel to it. The way you blend their personalities is beautiful, and the imagery of the worlds they visit is fantastic.
I'll be keeping my eye on you.
285659