Maybe a sequel.

The ending...i loled, genuinly loled.

Nice little romance story you have here, maybe you could do an AppleBloom romance next time.

Very well done. *Haha* Dat ending.....so funny.

1192500
Sorry, a single story idea; no plan for a sequel.

1192846
Perhaps sometime down the road.

1193342 Oh ok I just wanted to see Rarity's reaction after.

My reaction to another chapter finally here:
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1194003
Same here. Maybe if we build up enough pressure he'll cave!

1194645
NEVER!!! I'm afraid that's my final decision.

1194391
Now that's a lot of yeses!

1195561 i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w468/x_iHeartMLP_x/ibgDTkTYFeXNWB1.gif

I don't want to be a nitpicker, but there's a point where it says "my soon to be 25th birthday". Otherwise, I loved this especially the uh... "poking"

Also while I was reading, I had Tombstone's Bronypalooza mix playing. Right when She starts coming onto him, it got to "Hello I'm Sweetie Belle and I want to plaaayy"

Awwww, that's so sweet.

Epic win
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Pretttyyyyy hoooooottttt.... Interesting that she wanted him to fuck her ass first. I didn't see that coming. And that picture of her, damn good art. Why Featherweight though? Hes such a little pansy... but whatever. Thumbed. good work. Still some past/present tense issues that could be ironed out, but it was definitely hot, and that's what matters in clop. Nice!

She's still very nieve about sex, making an announcement in front of everyone!! oh my

"Featherweight suddenly buried his snout deep into her virgina"
"well ah say Martha, there appeas' to be an enormous equine muzzle in the sky "
"It must be general Grant up to his old tricks"
I loled.

Awww, that was so romantic. Thumbs up!

1219915
Thanks.
By the way, the art is not mine but it was the best one I had to reflect the story.

I love this story!!!! but dude, PLEASE get an editor.

Nice, just nice. Can't believe you did anal first, but nonetheless, nice.

That ending!

YES...

“You know… it’s funny; I was only planning to come here in celebrating my soon to be 25th birthday;

Shouldnt it be her soon to be 13th birthday?

1411198
Whoa... I... can't believe I didn't noticed that; major error!

1192548 I completely agree.

We demand a sequel! Lol

Coming from Sweetie Belle the Saviour, I was already a faithful follower (hide in the shadows and watch you ) I think this is pretty darn good for a first clopfic (if you are to be believed) I have a weakness for crusaders (obviously) anything goes (for grimdarks, one or all of them, preferably all) has to survive by the end. Needs about 20% more Scoots (Heh, I could think of a use for her Maybe she can hide in a couple of nearby bushes or something) I do love Sweetie Belle very much but any story with Scoots is a happy story in my book.

I still have this on my Nook, need to get around removing it, but I am way too lazy. Grown up stories like this bring me a strong case of nostalgia for the loss of innocence. (not just the sex, but the Cutie Mark and dream being achieved. Ending was funny if a bit vague on what will happen. I had a mental image of Sweetie Belle ruling the world maybe if somepony doesn't meet her desires, SEND THEM TO THE DUNGEONS Just the random mumblings of an excessive Crusader fan.

Applebloom is the bad ass of the trio

Scoots is the funny one

Sweetie Belle is the hidden genius

You should make a better distinction between speech and thought.

Needs work on grammar in some places. Needs consistent tenses (either past or present for the narration, not switching back and forth). Could use a refresher course on anatomy to learn what a clit is, and why it's a bad idea to do anal first. Also needs work on spelling -- especially the word "vagina".

2546612 I get it

They were all actually proud of Sweetie Belle and Featherweight becoming each other’s special someponies. Sweetie’s parents were so proud that that she turned 13 and found love; it was a touching moment. But… when they told them of how they became lover’s… well, the face expressions that they saw was all worth it to both of them.

“YOU DID WHAT?!!!” screamed Rarity at the top of her lungs.

SURPRISE MOTHAFUKA

very good story, I really liked it. Also I am happy for Sweetie Belle and Featherweight. May they live happily ever after.