• Member Since 30th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Monday

AngelShy24


I'm a mixed basket. Check me out!

Comments ( 59 )

AND I READ THE TITLE AND LOOKED AT THE PIC
*deep inhale with gasping noises*

>turns 13
>sex
I'm scared to read.

I don't often read stories like this for fear of wasting my time, but this was pretty good so far :twilightsmile:

I just raped the like button, I have to say this story is good so far

>Scootaloo's spending time with her family.

:derpyderp1:

1145413 Welcome to the world of fimfiction. Anything can happen here!

1145413
same.
please author. stop using the term "filly bits". PLEASE.

1145652
I've been here long enough to know so, but I like to point out to authors what they actually wrote - some just don't realize it right away.
I've done that countless times.

>Implying that being 13 is a perfectly fine age to call for sex
>Mfw:
i698.photobucket.com/albums/vv350/DaveWWEBatista/dafuq-1.jpg

And you spelled revealed wrong in the description. I don't like clop in general, but it never looks good when the description has typos in it :ajbemused:

1145659
Sorry, is too much; I saw it used before.:twistnerd:

Just to clarify to people getting freaked out by sweetie's age 1 horse year is 2 human years

Purty good so far! Make another chapter

1152115
Oh, that's a good comment.:rainbowlaugh:
But don't worry, something will happen...
sometime soon!:trollestia:

not very good. Dialogue and description is mechanical and unrealistic, and you use far too much tell and not enough show.

Do note that the 2nd chapter will be much longer than the first.
It has a lot of information...:raritywink:if you know what I mean.

Cute beginning, can't wait to see where it goes, so far I give it 4 mustaches:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: out of 5

Sweetie belle is my favorite CMC. I can't wait for the next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

The ending...i loled, genuinly loled.

Nice little romance story you have here, maybe you could do an AppleBloom romance next time.

Very well done. *Haha* Dat ending.....so funny.

1192500
Sorry, a single story idea; no plan for a sequel.:twilightblush:

1193342 Oh ok I just wanted to see Rarity's reaction after.

1194003
Same here. Maybe if we build up enough pressure he'll cave!

1194645
NEVER!!!:flutterrage: I'm afraid that's my final decision.

I don't want to be a nitpicker, but there's a point where it says "my soon to be 25th birthday". Otherwise, I loved this :pinkiehappy: especially the uh... "poking" :raritywink:

Also while I was reading, I had Tombstone's Bronypalooza mix playing. Right when She starts coming onto him, it got to "Hello I'm Sweetie Belle and I want to plaaayy" :rainbowlaugh:

Pretttyyyyy hoooooottttt.... :heart: Interesting that she wanted him to fuck her ass first. I didn't see that coming. And that picture of her, damn good art. Why Featherweight though? Hes such a little pansy... but whatever. Thumbed. good work. Still some past/present tense issues that could be ironed out, but it was definitely hot, and that's what matters in clop. Nice! :twilightsmile:

She's still very nieve about sex, making an announcement in front of everyone!! oh my :duck:

"Featherweight suddenly buried his snout deep into her virgina"
"well ah say Martha, there appeas' to be an enormous equine muzzle in the sky "
"It must be general Grant up to his old tricks"
I loled.

Awww, that was so romantic. Thumbs up!:moustache:

1219915
Thanks.:pinkiesmile:
By the way, the art is not mine:fluttershyouch: but it was the best one I had to reflect the story.

I like it, but it seems a bit rough. I have no problem with pre-reading clop, so if you need a pre-reader, just gimme a shout. :)

I love this story!!!! but dude, PLEASE get an editor. :pinkiehappy:

Nice, just nice. Can't believe you did anal first, but nonetheless, nice.

“You know… it’s funny; I was only planning to come here in celebrating my soon to be 25th birthday;

Shouldnt it be her soon to be 13th birthday?

1411198
:pinkiegasp:Whoa... I... can't believe I didn't noticed that; major error!

Login or register to comment