Never let him into the Everfree
Three Hours
Three whole god damn hours!
How much time did it take for 5 generals to at least bag one trophy in the middle of the forest?
That question kept ringing throughout Eisenhower's ears as he, Von Rundstedt, Montgomery, and now an equally puzzled Shining Armor attempted to figure out.
First of all, none of it ever made sense. Those 5 were more or less good shots and had proper training to handle a damn shotgun and rifle. So that ruled out any possibilities of any hunting accidents... Unless Rommel and Gause got into an argument about their wives, which was 90% unlikely, but still there was 10% remaining...
Secondly, yes, they did not carry maps, but they did stay on the outskirts of the forest itself and did carry compasses and provisions, and given all of their own professions, they themselves wouldn't even get lost in the first place. If that were to have ever happened, the North African campaign would've ended a lot earlier if either of them opted to accidentally stray into the middle of the Sahara desert.
Thirdly... The carried shotguns... So that would be self explanatory as to how little of a threat creatures within the outskirts of the evergreen would've posed, especially since they didn't even venture deep into the forest... And the stories they had heard of the shit that goes on there even managed to make Patton want to take the safe hunting route, so that left out even that possibility as well.
As all of this made Eisenhower's mind turn into near jelly from the shear implausibility of it all... He didn't take notice to Shining Armor exiting the little base of operations they had set up, to go set up a patrol, whilst the princesses watched onwards as their 3 human advisors tried to come up with any and every possible theory as to how they lost their 5 co-.... generals.
*** *** ***
He did everything right.... EVERYTHING!
Not one member of the company he was commanding had gotten lost or strayed off the designated path they were taking. When they came up to a fence and some sort of newly promoted superior ordered him to get his rear moving, he had his men cut a fence post so that they could quickly get moving towards the rally point (disregarding who owned the fence property and the fact that they let out a large amount of cows), and even managed to almost bypass a small interchange on the road with relative obscurity, if it hadn't been for one pony out taking a stroll in the middle of said interchange, and was nearly surrounded on all sides by said company.
All of it went so well, but now it seemed as if everything was going to go so wrong. Mareclellan had nearly froze when Shining Armor came marching towards him, and almost had a heart attack when he was told to set his company up for an excursion to find his tormentors... The Advisors, within the middle of the Everfree Forest.
So why in the name of Celestia he was forsaken with this task... He did not know. The only thing that he did know... Or well, wish... Was that he would not have to find the generals in the forest and that they'd find their own way back.
Some higher power heard his wish on that day, and his wish was granted... Though not without torment.
*** *** ***
Chuck could not do this to him... to subject him to this... this absolute hell. Why did it have to fall upon him to be lectured to shit by this sweet, sweet, thing. Oh, it did not feel right at all.... none of it did. This had to be one of Chuck's games if it was nearly making him want to pull his own ballsack off.
Looking around the room, he could see Bradley take it all in with a stoic face while the Germans remained stiffer than ever, well... stiff, but respectful. Why was he the only one who found something wrong with this absolute horse shit? Why did he have to be the one to push through the absolute bullshit of this god damn lecture before it melted everything right in his mind away.
Oh... George S Patton was going to be having quite a few shots when they get back... well, maybe more than quite a few shots. The whole bottle... yes, that sounded more like what he needed. Now, if only this pony named Fluttershy would get done with her god damn lecture...
*** *** ***
Despite his outwardly stoic expression, Bradley was secretly laughing his ass off as he watched Patton visibly lose his damn mind and sanity as he sat in the chair right before Fluttershy while being lectured on why the humans shouldn't even hunt, let alone use weapons like shotguns.
There had been some other ponies here earlier... apparently Fluttershy's friends, who came by to help tie them up within Fluttershy's home. Though they apparently left, he had a lingering feeling that at least two of them were still nearby... watching them from some bush like predators waiting to pounce if they made one wrong move.
One again, Patton was visibly cringing, and Bradley gave him a subtle look as to keep it all within himself until they were released from the pony's custody. Yes, they could probably take them all on without a problem, though it might be painful as they are literal horses... and besides, why make an even worse impression with the locals?
*** *** ***
There was something quizzically odd about seeing a Field Marshal of the Third Reich being sat down in a chair too small for him, and being lectured about why hunting with shotguns is completely immoral and why hunting in general should not be practiced... even though the man himself was a known hunter to those who were close to them. To add onto that, Rommel himself seemed to be taking it in with a thoughtful manner, even if it probably did not match in any way shape or form with whatever he himself thought of the matter.
Gone was the usually blunt Swabian, and in was the slightly too courteous Field Marshal. What a strange land Bayerlein resided in anymore...
*** *** ***
He had to admit, the pony herself was quite compelling with her argument against hunting.
Rommel really did want to rebuff her, saying that humans did require meat to survive... but then again, there was the Führer, and his... vegetarian tastes. Well, he was a madman, so maybe it was the lack of meat...
Don't start thinking of that again. He reminded himself. He would just sit through it... and take it all in. Absently, he wondered how Gause was handling this situation.
*** *** ***
As a Chief of Staff, Gause has been dressed down numerous times by either superiors, or said superior's wife... He has also had to dress down either idiots or clueless officers who needed additional understanding of a subject, but he never envisioned himself being dressed down by a female other than his wife... let alone a female pony.
Well, at least this one seemed very well mannered and didn't have any Polish wrath within her... as opposed to the likes of Frau Rommel.
*** *** ***
Determination was a key aspect that was sorely needed when arguing, or making a claim with someone. Fluttershy knew that very well. Still, as she lectured the tall bipedal creatures dressed in weird clothing within her room, she kept a calm, and somewhat quiet demeanor... no matter how much their barbaric way of hunting made her angry.
For the most part, as she spoke to them, they all seemed quite thoughtful and understanding of her argument, save for the tall one... who looked like he was probably going to lose his mind. He probably was, but he was thrown a look from one sitting across from him, who was dressed in the same uniform. They all probably had a feeling that they were being watched, so naturally... whatever hard feelings they held were kept in check.
Besides, for as large as they were... taking on the likes or Applejack or Rainbow Dash in a fight would be hopeless. Actually... those two probably wouldn't even be needed. Pinkie Pie would probably cause their minds to shut down. Either way, they still opted to stay quiet, and try to be respectful, which was something nice.
*** *** ***
Meanwhile in the Everfree
This was not good... no, no, no, no... this was not good at all.
Why did they assign him to this duty... of all bucking things? Being sent to supervise the rock mines in the west was one thing... but this, searching the Everfree to find 5 creatures, one of whom probably is planning his own murder, was absolutely outrageous. No, he was no frontline soldier... he was an administrator. But still, he was still somehow within the Royal Guard... so he had a duty to do.
Duty... yes, he had a duty to do. Damn it all if it was the Everfree, he would lead his Stallions and find the Advisors.
"TIMBERWOLF AMBUSH, EVERYPONY RUN! Somepony called out.
Suddenly, all that determination melted away as Mareclellan and his brave Stallions ran back the way they came, all the while they were being chased by Timberwolves. Subconsciously, he began planning his own escape if he got back before the Advisors did.
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Wonder if any of Shining's subordinates will remember how close to Ponyville they may be (Kindness + hunting = ??)
10500545
Luna and Celestia already know where the 5 are and they aren't going to tell the others for a good reason. All shall be explained in the next chapter...
Hehehehe
10500685
I shall my dear reader!
Mareclellan: Princess Celestia, I resign.
(It would be the best thing for him to do.)
10500694
Oh, no he is not. He is stuck on the wild ride until the very end... Unless I kill him off or make a redemption arc for him.
Band of brothers ref I love it
10500756
Haha! Somebody spotted it! Well done. I was wondering when that was gonna happen.
you know, a good counter argument would be if there was no predators the prey would eat all the grass and vegetation before it had a chance to fully recover.
10500848
Probably, but who in their right mind would want to argue with Fluttershy?
10500928
true.
10500947
There is an uncanny logic to it all.
10501059
on the one hand is important for predators like humans to thin out prey populations to prevent overgrazing.
on the other hand fluttershy would understand if they was hunting for food, not sport.
Battlefield 1, I know it!
Fluttershy kind of being a bitch here. I mean really who made her the moral authority over other sapient species?
I'm stunned that a Nazi official would be stunned by being lectured about hunting.
Hitler was something of a vegetarian (albeit for health reasons) and he thought killing animals was wrong.
I find it puzzling how one can rationalize the killing of humans like insects while being against animal cruelty.
10513291
Rommel himself was quite the avid hunter actually, especially in his later years. Also, bear in mind that once again... This is Rommel we are talking about, the man who was too hard headed to stop advancing, thinking that his constant advance would rout the enemy... Which it did, until they reached El Alamein, and all of his supplies for anymore meaningful offensives were drained.
10516233
One almost has to respect how far the Germans got in both World Wars, despite resource constraints and going up against powerful enemies.
10516324
Almost... To a certain extent as you have to remember, many of their own logistical constraints were brought upon by themselves... With the added things they were doing in occupied countries.
10517185
I've watched the movie Come and See. I have zero notions of the German army being honorable.
Fighting the commies is one thing. Roasting innocent people alive in barns is plain monstrous.
10517193
I have seen that movie before and trust me... I know all too well.
10564503
George Patton
ah yes the classic 'Madman Hitler'
10604014
Muh Clean Wehrmacht eh.
11454622
Shoigu, Gerasimov! Where is the military equipment!