• Published 28th Nov 2019
  • 3,748 Views, 62 Comments

Princess Cadance Saves Equestria (Wait, What?!) - ThePinkedWonder



King Sombra took over the Crystal Empire. But when he got ideas about taking away Flurry Heart...let's just say her mom did NOT like it.

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Chapter 2: Princess Cadance finishes the job

Oblivious to the turn of events in the Crystal Castle, Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, sped through the currently empty streets of the Crystal Empire. They all wore their respective Element of Harmony around their necks and were on the way to the Crystal Castle.

Twilight said, “I hope Shining Armor, Cadance, and Flurry Heart are okay!”

“Don’t worry, Twilight. I doubt Sombra would hurt them and probably has them in a cage or somethin’,” Applejack assured.

Rainbow said, “But when we get there, we’ll kick his flank so hard, he’ll never come back!”

“And I like the sound of never having to fight him again,” Fluttershy admitted.

“But let us finish him off quickly. I have five dresses I need to finish before the next fashion show in three days.”

“And I have a very important cake I need to bake, plus three more to hide in case of ‘cake emergencies’,” Pinkie said.

“Wow, Rarity, Pinkie. You two have gotten really used to saving Equestria, if you’re already thinking about what to do after we win,” Rainbow remarked.

Twilight said, “Well, I’m glad you guys are so confident and--”

The six friends spotted a screaming gray figure in the distance running toward them, seemingly at a fast rate.

“Wait, who is that?” Applejack squinted her eyes. Partly because of her eyes’ squinting, as well as the figure simply coming closer, what the figure was became clearer. “Is that Sombra runnin’ towards us?!”

“Yes, it is!” Fluttershy answered.

Twilight started, “I guess he’s taking the fight to us, so--”

But before the bearers of the Elements of Harmony could unleash their instant-win move, a female voice bellowed, “Sombra, get your flank back here! I’m not done with you yet!”

The friends gazed toward the sky and spotted a pink figure approaching at a rapid rate.

“Wait, is that Princess Cadance?” Rarity asked.

Sombra ran closer still, making the friends grit their teeth once they lowered their heads back to him. Every muscle in their body tensed up.

But he didn’t attack. He instead dove to lay at the hooves of Twilight Sparkle. “Please, Princess Twilight Sparkle, you gotta help me!”

Looking down at Sombra, Twilight rubbed her head. “What? Help you?”

Rainbow asked, “And why would we ever help you?”

Princess Cadance reached the group, landed, and said, “Hold up, girls! I’m dealing with him!”

Sombra yelped and crawled around Twilight to hide behind her with a fearful frown. He lay a little too close to the Princess of Friendship’s rear. It was made worse for Twilight that her friends' and sister-in-law's eyes were on her and the cowardly Sombra.

“Uh, Sombra? Too close,” Twilight said with her cheeks bright red.

After a gasp, Sombra crawled two feet back.

With Sombra a more comfortable distance away, Twilight’s cheeks returned to their normal lavender color. “Princess Cadance? What’s going on?”

“I thought you needed our help?” Rainbow asked.

Cadance answered, “I did, but Sombra...encouraged me to fight for the Crystal Empire and my foal myself.”

Pinkie stared more closely at the shaking Sombra and set a hoof on her cheek. “Uh, okay, but I think he learned his lesson.”

Sombra nodded his head. “Yeah, I did, and I’m so sorry, Princess Cadance! I won't be bad anymore, so please don’t blast me again! I have three foals.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Uh, Sombra? I can smell a lie from a mile away, and when ya said all that, I smelt four lies.”

"Okay, I stand corrected," Pinkie conceded.

Rainbow asked, “Uh...not that we lie a lot, Applejack, but If that’s true, why couldn’t you tell when one of us lied?”

“I did. Who do ya think was behind y'all gettin’ indigestion the day after yer lies?”

“Oh...so that’s why!” Rarity exclaimed. “Wait, if that’s true, then when Twilight got an awful case of indigestion the day after she told us she was kidding about wanting to marry books…”

The friends stared at Twilight, who wore one of the hugest embarrassed grins in Equestria’s history. Her red face was visible from the moon.

“Uh, girls? I hate to interrupt your little confession moment, but help! She’s pulling me away!”

The friends broke from their trance to see Princess Cadance dragging Sombra in the direction of her castle.

Forcing herself to look past her “confession”, Twilight pulled Sombra closer to her with her magic. She also made sure to place him in front of her. “Wait, Cadance! I know you’re mad, but this isn’t the way we deal with villains that say they’re sorry!”

Pinkie explained, “Yeah! We let them off easy and let them reform! That way, they’ll save us someday!”

Cadance responded, “Well, I’m sorry, but we’re not doing that this time and he’s not actually sorry anyway! But I’ll make you girls a deal: Let me do my ‘job’ for five minutes, and then you can decide what to do with him?”

Twilight stared at the still-shaking Sombra lying on the ground. Everything she learned about friendship told her that this would be wrong. Even if it would be FUN to watch. “I don’t know, Cadance. This just doesn’t feel right, and as the Princess of Friendship--”

Cadance interrupted, “I’ll buy you a new book, Twilight, and I’ll ask Princess Celestia to let you legally marry books.”

Twilight gasped and formed a big smile. “Can I get three?”

“I’ll buy you two.”

“Deal!” Twilight tossed Sombra toward Cadance with magic, who “caught” him with her own magic. Princess Twilight had never claimed to be perfect at friendship, and she’s also an expert haggler.

Though, if you ask me, the Princess of Love still won that deal.

“All right, Sombra, Let’s go!” Princess Cadance flapped her wings and flew away, carrying a screaming Sombra with her magic. The five minutes Cadance would “do her job” with Sombra would be the LONGEST five minutes of the ex-King’s life.

Once the two were out of sight, Rarity said, “Hold on. Did Princess Cadance actually save the Crystal Empire and possibly Equestria all by herself?”

Fluttershy answered, “I...think so.”

Pinkie poked her eye and yelped in pain. “Nope, this is real.”

Applejack gave a deep sigh. “Guess I now owe Big Mac one-hundred bits.”

“You think that’s bad? I owe Spike and Starlight one-hundred bits each. They said that she’d do it eventually, but I didn’t listen.” Rainbow looked to the blue crystal statue of Spike five feet away. To her, it had a bigger grin than usual.

“I owe Silverstream straight ‘A’s for this semester,” Fluttershy added.

“You girls should consider yourselves lucky, because I owe Maud five-hundred bits,” Rarity admitted.

Twilight said, “I got it the worst: I have to pay Sunburst a thousand bits.”

Pinkie hopped in place with a smile. “But I think we should go to the Crystal Castle; we still have to decide what to do about Sombra after Princess Cadance is done with him.”

Sounds of magical blasts in the distance could suddenly be heard. They came from the Crystal Castle.

“If there’s anythin’ left of him,” Applejack commented.

“Or the rest of our bits if we lose the bet that we all made with Lord Tirek about Princess Celestia saving Equestria by herself,” Rainbow remarked.

Author's Note:

Please, Princess Twilight. You think you got it bad? I gotta pay Pinkie Pie two thousand bits!

Why do you think Pinkie smiled and hopped near the end of the story?

Comments ( 47 )

Twilight Sparkle: sellout for a book bride

9964560

Maybe, just maybe, they should think about getting a new Princess of Friendship if she sells out again.

Feh. Considering the royal stipend the Mane 6 (theoretically) receive for being the Bearers AND for each mission AND the standard hazard/imminent-danger pay (all theoretical, of course, but the Crown would be crazy to deny payment), I'd say the amount of the bets are peanuts. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

9964661

That in itself could make for a funny story idea, if they're not getting that kind of pay.

9964669
Some have explored that concept, and one story even went as far as saying that Celestia ordered the Mane 6 to secrecy that they were the EoH (which would explain why no one recognises them whenever they travel), and that they are all struggling financially.

Though it appears that they ARE known. When Lightning Dust almost got the Mane 6 killed by that tornado, many fans theorised that one reason she was expelled from the Wonderbolts was that she almost destroyed Equestria's main line of defence, which would amount to treason against the Crown.

Now I want a story of Twilight marrying a book...

9965146

It's one of several story ideas I have in my head I'm thinking about writing. Not yet sure if I will.

“Or the rest of our bits if we lose the bet that we all made with Lord Tirek about Princess Celestia saving Equestria by herself,”

.....DO IT.

9965158

I'm definitely keeping that idea in mind.

Cadance interrupted, “I’ll buy you a new book, Twilight, and I’ll ask Princess Celestia to let you legally marry books.”

Cadance, I think marriage is your jurisdiction anyway. You don't have to go Celestia.

As a fan of the characters this is what you want to happen, but it can't because it has to fit in with the season's overall arc. But now that we know that Sombra and the other villains were a plot contrivance, why not have Cadance Unleashed smash Sombra and save herself? I'd love Discord-Grogar's reaction to this.

The other villains sat in stunned silence. Finally, "Grogar" cleared his throat to address his fellow fiends, "W-well, see that's why we must w-work together to bring down our mutual foes." The disguised draconequus turned away from the still awestruck collection of bad guys to head back to his quarters. He trudged down the corridors with just two things on his mind: "She cannot know I was involved. How do I frame them for this?"

9965327

I can't say too much here in case I write a sequel, but let's just say there's a reason why I didn't show Discord.

I hear what you mean about the events to the actual show, but that's also a big reason why I tagged this story with the "AU" tag, showing that this world's continuity won't necessarily line up with the show's and may be different. That AU tag isn't a tag I use lightly.

9965238
I'll put down 4000 bits that Luna takes out Chrysalis then for that story. Cozy Glow just gets put in Magic Kindergarten forever.

9965327

As a fan of the characters this is what you want to happen, but it can't because it has to fit in with the season's overall arc.

But isn’t it an Alt. Universe story like 9965340 said? I don’t get it. :rainbowderp::derpyderp1:

9965146
Too creepy for my taste.

9965327

I'm curious now on what you meant by your comment. Why does everything have to happen in season 9's overall arc, especially with this story being an Alternate Universe/AU story to being with?

I shall watch your career with great interest.

9965458
I was writing as I talk and when I say “as a fan of the characters this is what you want to happen” I’m including myself in that group as well. This story is my preferred take on that episode. I was only saying I understood why the story played out as it did originally. But you can do whatever you want here. I was endorsing your take wholeheartedly.

Huk

Ah, see? This is what I was talking about:rainbowdetermined2:!

Twist here, pun there, and unexpected unfolding everywhere. This was a hell of a lot better for me than 'To Save a Plant.' And the image of Cadance doing 'her job' with Sombra will stay with me forever. Also, that ending :rainbowwild:

Good job :raritywink:

9966227

Glad this one was more enjoyable for you :twilightsmile:

As you could tell, I upped the twists and turns in this story.

Huk

9966233

Yeah, I can tell, and I like it. This seems to be one of the ingredients of a good comedy. This, for example:

Shining Armor jumped in front of Cadance and said, "Wait, Cadance. Don't do it."

"Why not?! You heard what he said about us. Worse, he tried to take Flurry away!"

Shining responded, "I know. But you're about to finish him off before I can have my turn."

Here I was like 'Aha, Shining's gonna try to persuade her not do it. That soft bastard...:trixieshiftleft:' So I chuckled nicely on the twist :rainbowlaugh:

Once again, good job:twilightsmile:.

Now, if I were to pick on something, there's one thing you could try to improve:

In the throne room of the Crystal Castle, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, and Flurry Heart were trapped in a cage made of dark-purple crystal. The crystals were individually shaped like large spikes that crossed over each other, in effect forming a pyramid-like cage.

Maybe it's just me, but every time I see the same word used in the same paragraph (and following paragraphs for that matter), it immediately gets my attention. Using a nice synonym instead of 'cage' would improve that a lot for me.

It's just a thought:unsuresweetie:.

9965894
Makes sense.. Kinda.

This was fun, as well as funny! I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for sharing it!

9967025

Thanks, and glad you enjoyed it!

“Wait, Cadance! I know you’re mad, but this isn’t the way we deal with villains that say they’re sorry!”

Pinkie explained, “Yeah! We let them off easy and let them reform! That way, they’ll save us someday!”

Sure it is... Let's recapitulate


Nightmare Moon ... Brainwashed

The Great And Powerful Trixie... Her house destroyed, forced to flee and, work in progress

Discord ... Turned to stone and blackmailed to be good.

Chrysalis... Managed to flee two times and in stone

King Sombra... Killed by the heart, resurrected and now being tortured by Cadence

Tirek... Tartarus and stone

Sunset Shimmer... Brainwashed by the elements

Dazzlings... Banished to another world and their jewels destroyed after trying to feed

Midnight Sparkle ... Brainwashed

Starlight... Work in Progress

The pony of Shadows... Supposedly reformed even if he did not re-appear again until the final

Cozy Glow... Send to Tartarus and then turned into another statue.


Yep, the power of reforming enemies and friendship

9968156

To be fair, most of that list didn't say "sorry" or show any kind of remorse, or not until after the "brainwashing" happened, and Sombra was lying when he said "sorry". The principal exceptions are Starlight, who made the choice to reform -- or start reforming -- in the season 5 finale without some kind of brainwash, Trixie in season 3, and Stygian, who himself really wasn't a "villain" but his alter ego, the Pony of Shadows, was.

9968188
I'm not sure but I think Discord did not say Sorry until Twilight rescue him from Tirek, not sure also if Trixie Apologized and the "brainwashed" apologized after the brainwash

9968590

I don't think Trixie actually said "sorry" but she did show remorse, and Discord showed it before Twilight rescued him, but he didn't outright say "I'm sorry" until he was rescued. That's why I had this line in my comment.

To be fair, most of that list didn't say "sorry" or show any kind of remorse, or not until after the "brainwashing" happened, and Sombra was lying when he said "sorry".

Though in a strict sense, reforming someone isn't that unlike brainwashing them, since it very often means changing who they are. It's just never thought of as "brainwashing" since it's for the better, unless their new line of thinking doesn't match up with your own.

Imagine this scene being animated. Combined with Sombra's unusually foppish voice, this would've been comedy gold.

9968923

I was thinking about that too. That voice would have been very fitting for this story! :rainbowlaugh:

9968967

I wish they had given Sombra a more menacing growl.

The five minutes Cadance would “do her job” with Sombra would be the LONGEST five minutes of the ex-King’s life.

Ah. She must be using Frieza Minutes.

10008081

I meant to check out those stories, so I'll read them a little later and see if there's any elements in them that I can use for my future comedy stories.

One thing I already know is that comedy is ultimately subjective, so even the funniest stories on the site that might have you and me literally ROFL may have some feeling more or less how you feel about this story from a comedic standpoint.

Doesn't mean I won't keep trying to improve the comedy in my stories though, so hopefully you'll enjoy the next ones if you'll check them out. but even if you do I wouldn't be surprised if another feels it's not funny since I got a very similar comment about a previous comedy story of mine that did relatively well and they loved this one.

I kind of assumed Pinkie has plenty of any given currency hidden away for various emergencies.

If Cadance found out its Discord's fault Sombra happened, things will get ugly.

Where was Spike though?
I thought he was with the girls in the premiere there when they went to the empire?

10511402

While I can't remember everything I was thinking of at the time I was writing it, but I may have had Spike out to set up The joke about him winning 100 of Rainbow Dash's bits with how she looked at his statue. I usually have Spike along with the Mane 6 in times like this, so there tend to be reasons when he's not there, as he wasn't here.

10511413
Still feels weird though..(due to he was with them in the actual premiere)
Wished he was there though to see what just happened though

Then again he would still apparently suddenly not be with the girls for no damn reason when they put the Elements back and that bit him in the tail hard(ending up brainwashed alongwith everyone Ponyville and shoved into the Mane 6's shadows while the girls were spared from the mind-control due to Sombra holding the idiot ball(according to the TV Tropes) and just leaving the girls like that.

Let's be honest here. Cadance and Shining will not be winning parent of the year awards for how they raise Flurry (A Flurry of Emotions is a perfect example of that).

But Cadance, at least, knows the #1 rule of being a mom. Never ever go after her kids. A mother protecting her kids is scarier and more unstoppable, than every MLP villain combined.

Sombra just learned that the hard way.

Wow that was a pretty interesting stories again I would love to see if Cadence and Shining Armor did something against King Sombra and it was pretty funny to be honest with you and I did like how the girls got so confused about his pleading for help anyway this was a pretty good story keep up the good work

11011964

Glad you liked the story! You didn't miss too much of what Cadance and Shining Armor doing their "job" with Sombra: they just took turns shooting magic at Sombra.:rainbowlaugh:

Never make a bet with any of the Pie family.

“I owe Sliverstream straight ‘A’s for this semester,” Fluttershy added.

*silverstream
just wanted to point it out

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11626335
He should have his sins confessed and his will probated because Cadance will have no mercy…

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