By Order of Princess Twilight Sparkle
The representatives of the other nations had gone their separate ways. Tempest had escorted the students back to the skiff they'd used to follow Twilight to Canterlot. So Twilight finally had her private audience, alone with the Princesses.
Celestia had even ordered the guards out of the Audience Chamber so they might speak freely with one another.
"I see, Twilight." Celestia nodded. "We'll look forward to reading your detailed report, of course. But I believe we have the general picture."
Twilight, standing on the carpet before the twin thrones, gritted her teeth nervously. Both Celestia and Luna, seated side-by-side on the throne platform, had remained sitting tall and proud, their expressions calmly unreadable, throughout Twilight's hurried summary of the Friendship's recruitment tour and initial classes.
"Thank you, Princesses," Twilight said. "And my apologies for having to go ahead with this without approval from the EEA... and without consulting the two of you. It just... seemed like something had to be done. And there was no other way to do it."
Celestia looked surprised. "Twilight! You're acting as if you're here to be punished!"
"You... mean I'm not?"
"As you said, you did what had to be done. Luna and I are both quite impressed with your success in recruiting your initial class, and with their evident progress in so short a time."
"Indeed!" Luna nodded. "No princess of Equestria has ever convinced so many of our allies to participate in an international diplomatic function so quickly!"
"Nor recruited and managed such a diverse class of students and teachers," Celestia said, "with so few issues, even during the field-trip you mentioned. And I was most interested to hear about Vanhoover University! Though do I understand your reluctance to bring the subject up, Twilight. We will be careful with that information, trust me. As you said, the students don't deserve to have their studies interrupted."
"Thank you, Princesses!" Twilight said, gratefully. "Then... you're okay if I go ahead with my plans?"
Celestia and Luna exchanged a glance.
"Officially, Twilight," Celestia said, "we of course cannot approve of the School. But by the same token, neither must we officially disapprove of it. And nothing prevents us from making the existence of such an institution known to other nations, as well as the merits of the very capable pony who operates it." And now Celestia smiled warmly. "Off the record, Twilight? Luna and I are most proud of you for following your instincts on this. You're really learning what being a Princess is all about!"
"I'm also as good as breaking Equestrian law. That's not very Princess-like, is it?"
"It is true," Luna observed, "that a Princess should normally abide within the law, when it is fair and just and established by legitimate means. It represents a compact of trust with those whom she governs."
"Yet, every now and then," Celestia said, "there comes a time when a Princess has to act on her own judgment. And in so doing, expand the boundary of the law to where the law needs to be." Celestia smiled reassuringly. "In short, Twilight, as long as you always act in the best interests of your students, and of Equestria in general, we have no problem with your School. And Princess Luna and I will be most interested to see where this takes you!"
"Thank you, Princesses! Then, if you'll excuse me? I think I'll return to my students. I want to see how they're getting on with their homework assignments."
"Of course, Princess Twilight!"
The three of them exchanged regal nods. And then Twilight turned and trotted out of the chamber. The returning guards saluted to her and then shut the doors behind her.
"She's progressing so quickly," Celestia said, proudly and a little sadly.
"Indeed she is," Luna agreed. "And yet she remains the most unconventional of all of us."
"That is something I hope will never change." Celestia nodded. "She will need that, in the years ahead."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In the Friendship Castle's library, the other professors had returned and been apprised of the situation. They were gamely providing advice and guidance to the waiting students, helping to keep their spirits up. But there was an inescapable tension in the air.
And then Princess Twilight returned, swinging the library doors open with her magic. When the students saw the serious look on her face, they automatically assumed the worst.
"Uh oh." Gallus said. "Did something go wrong after we left? Should we get packed to go home?"
"How can we?" Smolder complained. "All our stuff is still onboard the Friendship!"
"You won't have to unpack," Twilight said. "Because we're still reopening the School. Will you all come with me, please?"
She led the way out of the castle and around to the Friendship. Ascending the ramp partway, she turned to face the students and teachers.
"I want you all to understand, I'm not doing this arbitrarily. I've given it a great deal of thought. I always wanted to operate the Friendship School in accord with the EEA's guidelines, with their approval. I wanted us to be an educational institution like any other. But we're not going to be able to do that, because what we're teaching here is too new. The School will require an entire new rulebook of its own. And I can't wait to get started on it..." She glanced around her friends. "Er... with input from all of you, of course. We're just going to have to continue to operate the School outside the bounds of Equestrian law, until the law is able to catch up with us. And therefore..."
She turned to face the spectral seal and chains barring the door.
"The Friendship School is hereby back in session! By order of Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
She fired up her horn and blasted the seal with a dissolution spell...
... which had no apparent effect.
Twilight blinked, and looked around, worried.
Starlight coughed politely, and trotted forward. "Let me give you a hoof with that!"
Twilight nodded thankfully. Starlight's horn lit up, and she remote-projected her own deep reserves of magic, making it available to Twilight. With it, Twilight re-cast her spell on the seal... which shimmered... fractured... then shattered utterly. The spectral chains dissolved into a wispy blue glow, which faded away into the air itself.
"Yee haw!" Applejack cried, waving her hat. "Now that's gettin' her done!"
The other professors cheered and stamped approvingly.
"Thanks, Starlight!" Twilight said.
"Not a problem, Your Highness," Starlight replied cheerfully. "Just one of the perks of being seriously overpowered and a bit of a loose cannon with my magic."
The students were cheering as well, in particular the Odd Squad. "Woah, seriously radical move!" Sandbar said.
"Yeah," Gallus agreed. "I never realized our teachers were this awesome!"
"Oh! Does this mean we're dangerous outlaws now?" Silverstream asked excitedly.
"Only if they'll give us a degree in it," Smolder said, grinning.
"Well, if we're going to a pirate school," Ocellus said reasonably, "we must be pirate students!"
"Yona will be best pirate yak!" Yona smiled proudly. "Make Yakyakistan very proud!"
The students cheered excitedly. And then they all fell silent again, as Princess Twilight turned to face them.
"Commander Tempest!" she called.
"Your Highness?" Tempest stepped forward.
"I think it would be a good idea to cut this visit short. The students can complete their homework enroute. Are we ready to set sail again?"
"Of course," Tempest replied smoothly. But then her expression turned cold. She frowned darkly. "But I am seriously disappointed in you, Your Highness!"
"What?"
Tempest lowered her head, scowling, and stalked closer. The students quickly moved to get out of her way.
"I really wanted to teach that Neighsay a lesson... a personal lesson in just how far the borders of Equestria actually extend! You denied me the opportunity!" She scowled, her horn sparking. "You're too reasonable, Princess. Too reasonable by half! And one day, trust me... that's going to backfire on you!"
Twilight stared at her, wide-eyed and affronted. "Tempest!"
Tempest held the look for a moment longer. Then she came to attention, horn silent, her expression smug. She sniggered gently.
"Well! That time I got you going, didn't I, Princess?"
"You... I... uh... urrrhh!" Twilight fell silent, looking aggrieved. Then she shook her head. Rather than say anything further she turned and headed up the ramp to reopen the entry doors. The other teachers and the students quickly followed along, up the ramp and into the ship.
As the Odd Squad walked and flew up the ramp at the rear of the group, Gallus nodded back at Tempest, who was still standing at the base of the ramp discussing something with Starlight.
"You know... I really think I'm getting to like her," he whispered.
The other students agreed readily.
"The Pony who Fights Like a Dragon!" Smolder said, nodding approval.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was late in the evening, long after midnight. Tempest trotted unhurriedly along the admin-level corridor, having just finished an inspection of the students' level. The students were all safely in bed and for the most part quiet... or at least not drawing attention to themselves. Which was even better, since it made the game more interesting.
The professors were mostly asleep as well, except for those who by nature were night-owls, finishing up a last grading session or a lesson plan.
Tempest was just passing the red doors of the royal suite, when from inside she heard a soft thump.
Glancing both ways along the corridor to be sure she was unobserved, she pressed an armored shoe against the door's lock, then gently rotated it. The disbarring gem built into her shoe invisibly engaged the lock's tumblers. The lock snicked open, the door swung ajar. Pushing it open, she peered inside.
Twilight was seated at the desk, face-down in a copy of her own rulebook for the School, gently snoring. And Spike was collapsed on his back on the desk, pen still gripped in one claw, mumbling incoherently to himself and surrounded by scrolls filled with editorial notes for the next edition.
Tempest nodded. About time, she thought.
Turning, she stepped away from the door into the corridor. Her horn came alight, gently crackling. She lightly tapped an armored hoof on the floor twice.
Instantly, two scarlet-furred soldiers materialized in the corridor to either side of her. A few seconds later, Grubber came hustling up the corridor from his room, rubbing his eyes. Tempest looked from each of them to the next, a stern expression on her face.
"Gentlemen," she said calmly, "the first one that makes a sound I shall turn into carpeting. Do we have an understanding?"
They nodded. Then they followed her as she stepped quietly into the suite and crossed to the desk. At her swift gesture, one of the soldiers collected Spike and brought him over to the small adjoining bedroom on the left, where Grubber helped tuck him in. And the other soldier gently gathered up Twilight, and carried her over to the loft bed, which Tempest had already turned down for her.
Getting her settled, Tempest inexpertly tucked in the covers around her. And then she stood looking down at the slumbering alicorn, an unreadable expression on her face.
"Sleep well, Princess," she finally said, softly. "Dream a few pleasant dreams... for those of us who have to live in the real world."
Then she turned and crossed back to the doors, where Grubber and the soldiers stood waiting. They all stepped out into the hallway, and Grubber gently shut the doors again. He breathed a sigh of relief, then looked up at Tempest.
"Geez, boss. How come you're always bright-eyed and on the go? You were never like this under the Storm King!"
"I've turned the catnap into an artform," she replied. "You can go on back to bed now."
"Thanks! What about you, Tempest?"
"I'm... just going to make another sweep of the students' level." She smirked. "After all, a truant officer's work is never done..."
The End
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, its characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro.
No infringement is intended. This story is a work of fan fiction, written by fans for fans of the series.
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"And now, the conclusion..."
Thanks so much, everyone, for reading and commenting all the way through. The feedback helps immensely.
So, what do you folks think? Is there interest in additional stories based around the airship-based Friendship School? And/or this version of Tempest Shadow?
Personally I'd love to do more stories with Tempest, if there's an audience for them. (Captain Celaeno as well -- having the two of them team up for an adventure has some definite possibilities.)
And the intent of the Friendship AU was always to provide a platform for telling stories in the Season 8 timeframe, as well as bridging over to Season 9, as we start watching those episodes.
The sky's the limit, so where should we go from here? Let me know what you think, and thanks again!
Oh yeah, I loved this tale! Glad to see Neighsay been reduced to feeling like a speck of dirt in front of all 3 princesses. If you write more stories with this AU Friendship school I'm pretty sure he would still be a torn in Twilight side, hopefully Tempest will give him what for next time if that's the case!
And speaking of which, YES I would be very interested in seeing more stories based around the Friendship! Maybe one tackling Spike molting phase while aboard the airship school. (hint hint
)
Anyway great story all around, looking forward to your next story!
9549087
You’re offering more? Gimme gimme gimme!
Interesting and funny almost a 10, it fell flat on some parts, an okay overall.
9549087 Two words.
Cozy Glow.
9549087
If the sky's the limit, then by all means, go for the sky!
9549445
You take this one, Starlight:
~🌟 "Oh yeah, really! In very fine, hard to read Old Dark Ponish script, which only appears if you accidentally -- not on purpose -- happen to drop the crown in the fire. Uhhhh, kidding? I was totally being ironic there, just to drive the point home..."
All true, which gives Twilight a serious case of cognitive dissonance here, which she has to overcome in order to realize that she's actually in the right, and what she has to do is step up, be a Princess, and make it right. This is basically the next step in her journey towards actual Princesshood, beyond the wings and the crown.
You're thinking way too reasonably here. To a helicopter administrator like Neighsay, a student anywhere other than in an EEA-accredited school is automatically in jeopardy. I mean, Twilight collects a bunch of students and hauls them off in a ship to who knows where? Neighsay certainly doesn't give her credit for thinking of her students first, or ensuring their safety, so he's got to think they're at risk, and the truth doesn't matter. It's all part and parcel of the blinkered, paranoid, xenophobic mentality the character embodies.
Absolutely true, as we see in the episode Non-Compete Clause... but Twilight isn't saying they're perfect -- she's saying they're not as inexperienced as Neighsay claims. She's basically in holding-action damage control mode here, trying to counter Neighsay's attempts to make the School appear hazardous and Twilight herself appear incompetent.
By the way, thanks for raising points like this -- it's fun being able to hash out some of the issues I had to weigh in putting this all together!
9549087
Given how their school is now mobile...
Remember the game where I recommended you the theme songs for the ship school from? Trails in Cold Steel?
Follow that game's format for your rewrite. No seriously, the potential similarities are terrifying. Each chapter has their playable characters split up and help out in various places like the map missions in MLP. As they travel the world, this is where they undergo plot and character progression. I don't know how you can fit in a trial to become a giant robot's pilot but feel free to try.
On a more serious note, while the flaws of the EEA are easy to pick apart and spit on, offer a chance to show some positive points in the EEA's favor of how they managed Equestrian education. That way, Neighsay's argument would hold actual weight and give him an actual reason to be stubborn rather than making him an empty strawman. After all, if they are really that incompetent, it makes you wonder how Equestria hasn't fallen behind in global education standards altogether before Twilight did her stunt. Since Celestia has to be aware as even she has to go through their process for her own school, not even she can claim ignorance without making her look stupid.
Slightly panicked when I saw the "complete" tag, wondering how could it be over so soon. Then after reading it, it turns out that you just covered "School Daze", which makes more sense.
Also, try have Twilight hire as many characters to act as additional (guest) teachers as possible. The royals, Pillars, her Canterlot friends and family etc. It will ease the Mane 6's workload and allow them to focus on all their other responsibilities. Like the farm, bakery, boutique, nature reserve, Wonderbolts duty. Make sure that all their previous obligations don't spontaneously go poof just for them to become teachers. If there is anything I felt wrong with the school in canon, it's that it practically replaced instead of adding to the resume of the Mane 6. Twilight basically demoted herself from "princess" to "principal". There's no paperwork on Royal stuff. How has she not cracked from her workload is nothing short of a miracle until possibly the events of Season 9.
Lastly, sooner or later the student six will have to face someone they have to fight. Maybe arm them with weapons for self-defense?
It was a blast reading this. Maybe I will start reading the prequel story to this sometime, because I definitely don't remember the Storm Army being able to have flying troops.
Sorry for the long essay.
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Not a problem, and thanks for the suggestions! I always appreciate readers who are willing to take the time to let me know what they think in depth.
By "reboot" I always meant a reboot of the opening of the season, i.e. a restart from the beginning, and this story is intended to cover roughly the same world-building ground as School Daze, which introduces the School and gets things running. Apologies if there was any confusion. I'll tweak the story description accordingly.
Yes, this is something I added to the mix in Reformation... It's a Pony Thing, which also presents an aquatic form of Tempest's soldiers for when they visit Seaquestria and the Deeps beyond it. Also, I added an interesting wrinkle to the origin and nature of the soldiers -- you'll see it in the first chapter of that story.
Very nice. Be funny if there was a spin off where Celaeno started a school for literal pirates.
I'm sorry? Twilight to weak to undo some stupid lock spell? What the hell? She might make different desisions, might have a slightly different character, but too weak or not up to par with the best of them? The hell?
9557848
Originally I wrote it with Twilight just breaking the seal, once she'd decided to do it, but as in the show, that just seemed a little too easy to me. This way, it's a nice "uh oh" moment, followed by an opportunity to show friendship and teamwork in action (and give Starlight something better to do than provide security blankets and empathy cocoa)...
9557637
It's as Twilight describes it in the second chapter: it's a semi-tolerated dodge to get around local ordinances against gambling -- so long as the gambling itself takes place outside town/city limits, and the business files the appropriate forms and pays appropriate taxes, the local government doesn't explicitly forbid it. I'm using it as a metaphor for Twilight operating her school outside the EEA guidelines.
9557889
Well, to Twilight being unable to undo a stupid chain spell. PLEASE don't nerf her. She had it bad enough. WHo levitaed Ursa Minor. LEVITATED. For a good few minutes, not to mention water tower dissasembly, then floating it through a barn, up to Ursa, levitating the water tank WITH the Ursa for whatever the distance. Not to mention she should have known where the water tower was, where the cave with Ursa was(probably some sort of scrying spell). Oh, and that is when she was still a unicorn. After that effect, and studying under Celestia from her foalhood. She ascends to an alicorn. What happens? She loses to what appears to be SELF TAUGHT unicorn, in a tug-of war. She provided quarter of Equestrian Magic and fought Tirek to a STALEMATE. That's how bad the nerf was. Please, let her be who she IS, at least in fiction.
Just think, she's been taught by Celestia, She's a powerhouse by herself. As a unicorn. One would think she would be able to match Starlight as unicorn. and DESTROY her as alicorn, and be able to do any spell a teacher/minister can. When she's an alicorn? She's with the princesses with pure magical output, well, SUPPOSED TO BE.
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Ah, I see, never had this stuff here. Thanks for info. We did have a restaurant, but it was legal, and stationary. But, nothing lasts forever. There was a fire, then change of management, and later still they were closed. Pity, was a damned good restaurant too.
9558405
Oh, believe me I know how to write Twilight OP... in Twilight Runs Away, I basically have her blowing the roof off the Royal Palace as part of getting her cutie-mark.
But back to the seal spell... I would never nerf your (and my) favorite book pony. I just made the seal spell appropriately difficult for one pony -- even an alicorn -- to remove unaided. After all, Neighsay needs to have some teeth, even if we'd all like to hand them to him in a bag.
And remember too... it isn't about how powerful Twilight is. It's about how she turns her enemies into allies and close friends. That's her real superpower.
9558410
"Smoke on the water..."
(Obligatory Deep Purple reference...)
9558640
She's Luffy, is what you say... But still, she's not just a friend. She's a damn powerful unicorn. Give me a sec. She's stated to have talent in magic itself. By itself, not a random fact. She has MUCH wider range of available spells than any regular unicorn. Teleportation - said to be a difficult spell. She can do that, first accidentaly, then reliably. She can lift however many tons of Ursa, water tower and milk, and levitate them all from Ponyville to wherever Ursa cave is. She doesn't collapse, she's winded for a while. She know a LOT of spells. She studied in Charles'... Sorry, Celestia's school for gifted unicorns. Her surge had enough power to hatch Spike, turn him into a giant, suspend teachers in air and turn her own parents in greenery for gardens.
What spells she actually knows.
Shields.
Levitation.
Teleportation.
Gravity.
That's from top of my head, without consulting a wiki.
I repeat, she has SKILL and POWER to remove a seal, as an alicorn even more so. I just don't believe that there would be any magic caster, that is not a specialist(Nei may have an amulet, but he's just a bureaucrat) to cast anything, SHE would have trouble casting or canceling. She can COPY spells after seeing them ONCE. Hatred school, once shown to her by Celestia. Only had trouble because she can't easily tap into hatred and negative emotionts. Easily casts gem finding spell, shown to her by Rarity.
9558640
Also, while Twilight is powerful, she's far from OP. She is rolled over by Alicorn Amulet, and then she cannot keep Trixie's sneering off her mind, messing with her training routine. She sturggles with friendship, since, you know. She only studies the thing. She has really bad issues with thoughts of failure. She REALLY doesn't want to dissapoint Celestia. Want-It Need-It spell, breakdowns when she's under pressure.
"Just a test".
*BOOM*
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"Fire in the Sky". Classics never die, all I can say. Well, hopefully never die. Modern music does not fill me with confidence.
9558700
Wow... it's kind of cool encountering someone who's an even more dedicated spokesperson for the Lavender One than I am... you know you're preaching to the choir here, right?
9558726
Let's just say, there's been too much dirt, splashing against her. I try to defend her at every twist and turn I get, but some people... I swear.
Trixie makes Starlight miss pre-arranged dinner? Twilight is at fault.
Discord makes Twilight's friends ditch her? Twilight is jealous(actually, neglected), and is a bad friend in that she hides that "fact".
She is the last mare standing, in a fight against someone, who took down three princesses, and had to save her friends from death time and time again. Her last hope is withing her reach. What does she gets? "One small thing", a favor. I guess, it would be a lift to nearest shore, with whomever helps them just goes away the moment they see land.
VERY few defend Twilight in these moments. Can't remember if anyone even does.
And what does preaching to the choir means? I'm Russian, I don't know much, here...
So, you going to leave Twilight weak, or do you retcon the stuff to what you wrote previously. You know. Where a princess can handle a seal cast by an idiotic unicorn with an artefact with no problem? Because it just doesn't look right. Twilight Sparkle, student to Princess Celestia, having raw talent and power, ascended to alicorn, and she cannot handle some beurocrat spell? That stinks, and you know it. X)
9560851
Ah, thanks for info. You learn interesting stuff from internet sometimes. X)
9560270
Not just Neighsay's own talents. Given its a literal governmental seal, odds are the effect is from an artifact that goes with the office. And since said offices are derived from the Diarchy, it's probably designed to be nigh-impossible to easily defeat, much like the hornkeyed vault Celestia has.
9592225
Horn lock desined to guard Elements of Harmony, and tethered to a PRINCESS, vs a modifying medal, desined to boost a unicorns capabilities and made for, you know, everyday use at an office? Seals, teleports, etc.
I can belive Twilight, being an ace caster, could get past the lock. Seal, made by an artifact wearing unicorn? Pff, childs play for Twi.
I finished this story in a little over an hour and I'm very happy to have finally caught up on it. XD
I really enjoyed the AU for the School of Friendship, and honestly I wish that something like this would have been the case from the start. A flying school, to allow travel all over...
Also, great work on characterizing the Student Six. In particular Smolder and Gallus, I really grew to enjoy them here in this story. (The opening scene with Smolder of her burning her "girly" toys as part of a self-perceived "growing up" was pretty moving/saddening, nice work with that.) And as to Gallus, I really got a kick out of seeing the sparks fly with him and Tempest. That was a joy.
I've really grown to like your version of Tempest Shadow, and I mean that as high praise, because I wasn't too enamored of her in the movie honestly.
And as for the rest of the fic... I must congratulate you, I'd nearly forgotten (or perhaps repressed? XD) what an unpleasant prick that Neighsay was. In some ways I wish we could have seen him get a bit more karma, but at the same time I also know that this MLP we're talking about here.
If there's ever any more done with this premise, I would *love* to see further adventures of the Friendship and its cast of students and teachers. And its fearsome truant officer too, of course. ;)
9617191
Thanks so much, SC -- your feedback as usual is both encouraging and detailed, and I'm really glad you liked these two stories. Likewise, I definitely want to do more with the Friendship School and/or Tempest Shadow as a recurring character. I've got some ideas along these lines, and hearing feedback like yours gives me a strong incentive to pursue them. I'm particularly glad I was able to rehabilitate Tempest as a character for you. It's great to know there are readers who like a "rational" take on Tempest like this, and I've had a lot of fun writing her so far.
Thanks again for reading, and for your kind and encouraging thoughts!
In my AU, I put the school on a submarine in international waters, but this was probably a better way to handle it.
Entertaining from start to end. Love all the changes made.
9707746
That's a very nice review! Thanks much!
9549087
Yes... I am very interested in there being more. I love the idea, and I love Tempest's personality
9776289
Well, he is the only one who passed the test at any point... Even if it was just the preliminary stage. Still needs to work on his stage 2.
Hint: Tell the faculty.9776226
The problem here is that you canNOT use BOTH an article, AND the name. Have you ever heard "the queen Elizabeth"? It's either "the queen", OR "queen Elizabeth". Othervise it seems like you're using an article with the name. "The Elizabeth".
Tempest is right Twilight's forgiving nature will come back to bite her, but then Tempest is there for that eventuality isn't she?
9779457
I dunno. I think the episode suggests she has a much better image of Garble and doesn't regard him in the usual dragonlike manner. Heck, even Torch ended up being kind and supportive towards Ember, so maybe they have strong family ties in dragon society. I really can't see Ember thinking of Garble as a weak loser who deserved to be put in his place. (Also, she did seem really surprised to learn he had been bullying Spike, so I imagine she doesn't quite know the extent of how irritating Garble is without her.) Personally, if this was my situation, I'd have come back to change a few sentences around that scene, to make it seem like Smolder disapproved of Garble going that far with his facade, while knowing it was good for him to have opposition in it and being considerate enough not to try to defend him openly because it would hurt his image.
Anyway, I just finished reading the story, and beside this little thing with Smolder and Garble I enjoyed it a lot, just like the original story! Just so I'm not overly dripping with sugary praise, I do have a few slight criticisms overall. Firstly, I think there were too many straight parallels with how School Daze went, especially the completely repeated dialogues and scenes, like with Starlight setting Twilight straight or the throne room scene with all the leaders. Sure, they were in different context and had alterations, plus they were still entirely appropriate, but it felt like you were trying to take the awesome idea and the development of said idea that had been happening right until the Ponyville landing and fit it into a differently shaped hole left by the original plot. For example, it could have been Tempest setting Twilight straight instead of Starlight (as much as I am a huge fan of Starlight). It might have been a much more sensible way for her to ensure Twilight succeeded instead of just kinda showing up with the students at the right moment and hoping that would turn things around (that just didn't feel like a surefire enough solution for Tempest) and it also probably would've helped Tempest feel a bit more important to the story, since in this one she just kinda felt like a side character (which might have been the intent for all I know).
Actually, I guess that's the only criticism I have. There's little personal things like me never being a fan of anything from the comics being included in a fanfic, but hey, if Strife worked just fine for the original story, then Dragontown was fine for this. Being honest, while the pirate ship school concept is amazing, I enjoyed its execution a bit less than I enjoyed the original story, but that's still a lot of room for enjoyment and I certainly don't feel sorry I took the time to read this one
I still want to shoot the Chancellor.
9788426
I think you mean "keel haul". I think.
Superb story! I shouldnt really expect anything else from you really.
Are going to continue this story?
Also... i really, really hate that chancellor. He pushes a lot of my buttons when he was in the show... and you pulled it off in equal mesures of not better.
...really hate him. Wish him so much hurt.
On the other side i really like Twilight and Tempest.
But the entire time i keep getting a... bleh feeling deep inside, like something bad is going to happen. Dont know what yet.
(Accidentally posted comment right here.)
All other times my damned rose colored glasses are on and all i can do is ship them. The end though... i got the heavy feelings of shipping them and the ominous feeling in equal mesures.
...thanks for that by the way. Lol
Anyway, thanks for this. Think ill go read another of your stories.
I should really learn how to pace myself in regards to reading material. Gems like this aren't that easy to find.
I do so hope that we get more of Tempest in this AU. Your portrayal of the characters are so on point with the show's portrayal, that I can't help but envisioning the shows style in my head while reading. These are probably my favourite show-adjacent stories so far and definitely part of my top few on the non-dark end!
I quite like the lower stakes placed here, keeping it in line with the show's slice of life episodes, although I'd also love to see another more adventurous story-line, which I feel the Pirate Airship School of Friendship works well for as a plot device. A trip to introduce the old elements to the school?
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so, there gonna be more stories like this and set in this universe?
i've got dozens of ideas for where it could go from here
the first idea is seeing more races interact with the school
such as the kirin
or maybe some buffalo
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Thanks for reading! The Kirin could be fun, thanks for reminding me... given their penchant for playwrighting, for some reason that makes me think of a riff on Pirates of Penzance, or similar. I also had an idea for setting a story in the Zebralands, so we could see a bit of their culture.
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cool
more than anything tho, i just want someone to write about buffalo and yaks interacting
especially Yona and Little Strongheart
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No idea what that is
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I know. That's how I feel about my siblings. My mom is the one who says I shouldn't think like that. Then again she was the younger of two siblings.
A friend-ship-ship.
I really hope to see this story again because really an interesting take on au story
This was very, very fun and a great AU take on season 8.
Well then rereading this series was fun to do once again. Though I probably should elaborate on my previous comment.
This story was the first story I read by you and also why I followed you after that.
Back then I didn't know the story was a sequel but reading this, it really doesn't necessarily require reading the previous story to enjoy reading this which is great! Though reading the previous story does let readers enjoy the little moments mentioned here and there like Fred or Mama Shark.
This story is an AU version of the Season Premiere but better. That's not to say the episode was bad. Its just that a story can add more than an hour long premiere. Here we get to see each of the Young Six with some added details (which was seen in later episodes) of their characters and interactions with their guardians. And I love how Tempest got along with most of the Guardians because of her toughness.
There was even a field trip part where we got to see the Student Six interact together like in the show. (And if I recall, a field trip to the Cloudsdale Weather factory happened in the show but only at the season finale) And how Gallus learned something from one of the folks there.
Overall, interesting changes made as I've said before.
And looking deeper. This is technically where you started doing fully changed AU of "cannon" events which would become the main theme of your Not Exactly Friends series.
Hoped this series does continue too along with the Not Exactly Friends series. It would be interesting to see Tempest not giving a sh@t to Cozy's deceptions. Or maybe even Cozy not even being in the school but causing problems like convincing Neighsay on the School's faults thus causing problems.
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Thanks much, MMB! Together with Reformation... It's a Pony Thing, these are among my favorites of the stories I've written, simply because they're an attempt at "longer form" tales, with more characters and more going on. I had a lot of fun putting them together, and I'm glad you like them.
To continue this, I'd probably want to find a way to do more "episodic" stories, as I've done with the Not Exactly Friends series, since those seem to do better than serialized novella-length stories. But it depends on the subject -- more detail and characters means more words, after all.
Also, I'm wondering if, at this point, folks have "moved on" from the events of the series, and are looking for something completely original, rather than just a tweak here or there of the canon storyline. I personally like working within the framework of the canon episodes, since it's a nice challenge keeping a story aligned with what was broadcast. And at the same time it's a source of ideas of things to delve into and "explain" along the way. But we'll just have to see what folks are like-ing, over time.
Thanks again for the read, and for your in-depth feedback!
