Twilight's Pirate School

by Lets Do This

Lockdown

The Friendship finally made landfall again in Ponyville, in the meadow behind Twilight's castle, lowering its landing ramp so the students and their professors could disembark on hoof... or foot, or claw, as the case might be.

Starlight Glimmer was waiting for them, standing by the end of the ramp with her clipboard in hoof, checking off names as the students exited the ship. "Welcome to the Friendship Castle, everyone!" she called. "Students who will be heading over to the Castle for the early orientation and study session, form up behind me, please. Any students who are local to Ponyville, you're more than welcome to take a couple hours to visit your families, but please be back by three for the afternoon orientation session! Thanks so much!"

A few of the local pony students headed into town. The rest congregated around Starlight, and then followed her around the Castle to its entrance. Spike headed to the Castle as well, to work on an afternoon tea for the students. And most of the professors headed off to their homes and businesses, to check up on their own responsibilities.

The Odd Squad, being new in town for the most part, were the last students down the ramp, and were escorted at a discreet distance by Twilight, Tempest, and Grubber. The six students chatted amiably amongst themselves, comparing notes on what they liked the most.

"I liked Vanhoover," Sandbar said. "Being able to actually see places and cultures, instead of just reading about them!"

Smolder laughed. "He just liked the all-you-can-eat Dragon food buffet!"

"Yeah, well, I've always liked Dragon food. You dragons really know how to cook!"

"Huh! We'll go out for some real lava-rocks some time," Smolder warned him. "That'll cure you of your taste for it."

"Okay!" Sandbar agreed readily. "You're on!"

Smolder rolled her eyes, and tossed her claws in the air. "Does no pony ever get sarcasm?"

"Don't mind him." Gallus shrugged. "He's just like that. What I really liked was how all the griffons we met seemed to find ways of fitting in here. I mean Diceclaw runs her own store, for crying out loud! And that other griffon... Bug Out? He's loud and rude and obnoxious, yet ponies treat him like that's a good thing. That was... an eye-opener."

"The field-trip was really super," Silverstream allowed. "But I loved the classes too. I looooved Professor Pie's baking class! How we all got to make stuff, and then share it with each other!"

"If you can stomach Smolder's briquette-flavor cupcakes!" Gallus said, grinning at her.

"Yeah, well, some dragons just aren't into cooking," she tossed back.

"What about you, Ocellus?" Sandbar asked. "What did you like best?"

"Um... reading?"

The students rolled their eyes. "Why did I not guess that?" Gallus said.

But Ocellus went on, her eyes shining and a smile on her face. "I loved how I could read stuff in class, and then apply it right away when we went on the field-trip. Like knowing about that smudging ceremony, and the history of the Buffalo tribes. It really made it feel like it was worth learning all those facts about pony history. I've always had a knack for reading, ever since we changelings started keeping a library. But it was wonderful being able to put that to use!"

"Not to mention her mad mimicry skills." Smolder nudged Ocellus's shoulder. "I mean, that impression of Headmare Twilight was dead on!"

Ocellus hunched nervously. "Um... I hope no one thinks I was making fun of her."

"Nah, it's a compliment!" Gallus said. "You got her exactly right. You've been paying more attention in class than the rest of us put together!"

Ocellus smiled happily at that.

Then they all looked at Yona. Yona looked back at them. And then Yona gave her opinion, simply and succinctly:

"YONA LIKE FLYING WITH FRIENDS BEST!"

When they'd all recovered, Smolder nodded in agreement. "Yeah, the six of us teaming up like that, that was pretty awesome." She glanced around, a little self-consciously, and then shrugged and went on. "But my personal favorite was the pirates. They rocked, dragon-style!"

"Ooooh! Yes!" Silverstream cried. "I thought Captain Celaeno was a-ma-zing! She was just totally in charge, you know what I mean?"

"She must have been," Gallus said. "I still can't believe she talked all of you into keeping the secret that long."

"Yeah, well..." Smolder said cautiously, scratching at one of her horns with a claw. "She just... seemed like someone we could trust." The dragon suddenly looked somber, almost wistful, thinking of a favorite toy she would never see again. "She was all right... more all right than I would have imagined..."

Gallus eyed her, puzzled. Then he shrugged. "But yeah, once I got over being the butt of the joke, I've got to admit it... that lesson with the pirates was the coolest class of all. Learning about what the pirate life is like... swashbuckling... swordfighting..."

"Takin' your attitude and showin' it to the world," Sandbar said, swinging a hoof, "standing up to everyone, not worrying about anyone giving you grief for it..."

"Um... and working together as a family?" Ocellus quietly reminded them. "For a good cause?"

"Oh, yeah," Smoulder waved a claw dismissively. "That too!"

Yona stamped her hooves. "Yona want be pirate yak! Arrrrr!"

"Yes!" Silverstream cried. "I wish they were our regular teachers!"

"I'd never be late for class," Ocellus agreed.

"You never are, anyway." Gallus smirked at her. "Hey, I wonder what a pirate final exam would be like... might give me a reason to actually want to study!"

"That'd be a first," Smolder said, with a snide grin. "But sure, it'd be cool if we had pirates swing by for lessons on every trip!"

The students all laughed, nodding in agreement. Behind them, Twilight smiled happily, proud of how well her most diverse group of students were getting along. She glanced at Tempest, who smirked proudly.

And then...

... a voice spoke up from right behind them... cold, and sternly disapproving.

"Am I hearing this correctly? This school employs actual pirates as teaching staff?"

They all turned. A shimmering blue vortex portal had appeared at the head of the ramp, and through it a familiar gray, goateed unicorn had stepped out.

"Chancellor Neighsay?" Twilight gasped.

"How nice of you to recall my name -- and my office, Princess Twilight!" He strode haughtily down the ramp towards her. "Bad enough that you disagreed with the EEA's decision regarding admission of non-ponies to your so-called 'school'. But teaching your students about pirating? Hmph! I wonder if the rest of your 'curriculum' has been similarly lax?"

"Chancellor," Twilight replied, forcing herself to speak calmly, "the Friendship School has accomplished exactly what it set out to do. As you can see, we've shown that students from all nations can learn to live and work together, in the best tradition of friendship."

She gestured to the Odd Squad, who were standing behind her watching the exchange in surprise.

"Those are students?" Neighsay glared at them in affronted disbelief. "Well, be that as it may... as I informed you when you presented this ill-advised idea, allowing non-ponies to attend is not in accordance with the EEA's guidelines. Guidelines, I might add, that the EEA has established for the protection of Equestria and its citizens from... undesirable elements!" He glared at the students, who stared back angrily.

"Yona confused... unicorn think yaks no need friendship?" She stamped a hoof. "Maybe yaks no need pony school!"

Neighsay sneered at her. "Well, then... perhaps you should just return to your kind!"

"Chancellor!" Twilight said, before the shocked students could respond. "You need take a clear, reasoned look at what we've accomplished so far. If you could see the report I plan to present to their Highnesses Celestia and Luna on our progress..."

"All I see," Neighsay retorted, unimpressed, "is proof of the importance of an organization such as the EEA, to provide guidance -- and, if necessary, enforcement -- of the laws governing the education of Equestria's students!"

Twilight suddenly brightened up. She smiled confidently at him, playing her high card:

"Laws which -- in this particular case -- don't apply."

"Don't they?" Neighsay smiled, in a way that made Twilight suddenly feel like she'd taken a step too far on very thin ice. He gestured a hoof at the landing ramp they were both standing on. "The moment this so-called 'pirate school' touched Equestrian soil, it came under the aegis of the EEA's legal purview." Neighsay drew himself up formally. "And as such, I find it in violation of numerous statues: unapproved teaching plans, inappropriate instruction methods... and extremely lax admission standards!" He briefly glowered at the Odd Squad again.

"And as such, by order of the EEA... I am shutting this school down!"

He swung towards the ship. His horn blazed alight. The entry doors at the head of the ramp slammed shut. Swirling blue arcs of magic encircled the hull of the ship, coalescing into heavy spectral chains, encasing it tightly. And the chains met on a massive wax-like seal bearing the EEA symbol, plastered right across the entry door.

Neighsay turned back to Twilight, a satisfied smirk on his face. Twilight stared back, at a loss for words.

Then she suddenly noticed that Tempest, standing beside her, had tensed angrily. There was a dark, forbidding scowl on the Commander's face. Her broken horn sizzled dangerously.

"Let me at him, Your Highness..." Tempest whispered dangerously, "... they can only execute me once..."

"Tempest!" Twilight hissed back. Then she spoke more loudly, somehow managing to keep her voice even. "Commander, will you please escort the students into the castle, show them where the library is, and then keep an eye on them? The Chancellor and I need to have a word... in private."

Tempest eyed her. For a moment, Twilight worried that Tempest was actually going to launch herself at Neighsay anyway. And then the Commander drew herself up formally, her horn silencing. Turning about, she moved to shepherd the students towards the castle's main entrance. Though it was not without her casting one final glance in Neighsay's direction.

You live today! her look said. Consider yourself lucky!

Once they were alone, Twilight went on.

"Chancellor, I wish you would reconsider. Don't throw away what we've accomplished here."

"Don't you mean what you have accomplished here?" Neighsay countered. "Can you honestly say, Princess, that you are concerned with the welfare of Equestria's students, and not merely your own self-aggrandisement, in flaunting the EEA guidelines like this?"

"I am not opposed to the EEA's guidelines..." Twilight said.

"I'm delighted to hear it," Neighsay sneered.

"... just the spirit in which you enforce them. The presumption of Equestrian superiority... when we ourselves have so much to learn in the process of teaching Friendship to students from the other nations."

"We have nothing to learn." Neighsay sniffed. "It is for us to teach them. And we won't accomplish that with... cafeteria stewardship! Allowing institutions to conform merely to the standards they happen to approve of! There is one standard, Highness! And it is our standard, approved and battle-tested! Fair and impartial! The EEA stands ready to defend Equestria from all who would threaten the very core of our society!"

Twilight shut her mouth tightly... to keep what she wanted to say from burning her tongue to ashes.

"Chancellor," she finally said. "I intend to make a full report to the Princesses Celestia and Luna... on the progress of our School to date, and the numerous points in its favor. I'll let our success speak for itself!"

"I wish you joy of it, Princess," Neighsay retorted coldly. "And I shall look forward to reviewing your revised, conformant plans for this so-called School, once you have them. Do feel free to remind me... after all, I have many important tasks requiring my attention." He smiled thinly. "Good day to you!"

Re-summoning the vortex portal, he stepped through it. The portal vanished, leaving Twilight staring helplessly at the forbidding seal, barring the door of her School.

She felt utterly devastated, unsure of what to say to her students...

... or to Princess Celestia...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the castle's main library, the Odd Squad were seated around a table near the door, looking at each other uneasily. Some of them had pulled books from the shelves and were making a half-hearted attempt at their homework assignments. But no one felt particularly like studying at the moment.

Starlight and the other students were apparently off on the initial orientation tour, somewhere in the castle's confusing tangle of corridors. Commander Tempest had sent Grubber to locate Starlight, and then she'd firmly shut the library doors and sat down beside them to wait. She was clearly following her orders to the letter, not taking her eyes off the students for a moment. Yet it was patently clear from the expression on her face that it was the last thing she wanted to be doing.

"Oooh! I hope we're not in trouble," Silverstream gasped. "For wanting to go to school! That would be... uh, ironic? Right? Because it's the opposite of how things should be, and it's not intended to hurt anyone?"

Sandbar thought about it, then nodded sadly. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Yona feel like bad yak!" Yona frowned. "Should Yona feel bad? Yona rather not feel bad, if others wondering."

Ocellus looked uncomfortable. "When Captain Celaeno mentioned this was a pirate school, I thought she was only joking. It looks like she wasn't."

"You mean our school was actually illegal, the whole time?" Gallus smirked. "Hey, that makes me glad I came here. I feel like I fit in now."

"Extra-legal," Tempest corrected, startling them. She eyed them, and then went on. "As I said, there's been official resistance to an international school of Friendship. Princess Twilight took it upon herself to employ a method of operating the school that's... well, outside official legal boundaries."

"That's even cooler," Gallus nodded appreciatively. "And that Chancellor wasn't happy about it. He came down on her hard."

"She should have told him off!" Smolder said. "Dragons never put up with crap like that. We don't let anyone push us around. Um, except for Dragon Lord Ember. Every dragon follows the Dragon Lord's orders."

"But," Sandbar asked, "what if your Dragon Lord told you to do something you didn't want to do?"

Smolder held up her claws in astonishment. "Uh, hello? How do you think I wound up here? But I feel just like Tempest," she added, jerking a thumb in the Commander's direction. "The way that Chancellor Horseface was looking at us, I wanted to give him a good scorching to remind him who he was talking to!"

"That's true," Silverstream nodded. "Tempest was really cross with him. I mean I've seen her get angry with us. But I've never seen her get that angry! Like she wanted to bite our heads off!"

Tempest raised an eyebrow at that. "I've never been angry with you," she said mildly, then shrugged. "Just uncompromisingly strict, because that's the job I signed up for. In fact, I've found you six to be the most entertaining part of this whole trip. It's been a kind of perverse pleasure, keeping all you students whipped in line."

Sandbar looked at Tempest uneasily. Pleasant chattiness from their unforgiving truant officer was feeling a little surreal. "So... what's up between you and the Chancellor?" he cautiously asked. "Did he kick you out of school or something?"

Tempest shook her head. "Oh no... much, much worse!" Her voice was silky-smooth, her eyes glaring dangerously at them. "He disappointed Princess Twilight!"

Startled, the students looked at each other for a moment. And then broke out laughing. After a moment, Tempest smirked, and joined in as well.

Ocellus was the first to speak. "I guess you really like Princess Twilight, huh?"

"I do consider her a very close friend," Tempest agreed, "As her bodyguard, I have a professional bone to pick with anyone who gets in her way. And on a personal level..." Tempest sighed unhappily. "During the Storm King's invasion of Canterlot, I was in a really bad place. Princess Twilight trusted me, helped me find my way out of it. She helped me to re-find my sense of purpose, my sense of self, my place among ponies. And I do really admire her for that..."

She s suddenly stamped a forehoof angrily, the armored shoe ringing on the tiled floor.

"... because she's the kindest, most understanding pony I know! I can't stand seeing anyone walk all over that. I can't stand just sitting here, unable to do anything about it! Because ponies like her are few and far between! They need someone to stand up for them, make room for them, force others to listen to them, kick down the door if necessary! And, if I can do nothing else in this world... that is something I can do!"

She realized the students were all staring at her wide-eyed. She lowered her eyes, embarrassed by the outburst. "I just... feel like I owe her my entire life," she said quietly.

She fell silent, momentarily unable to go on.

"Wow..." Gallus finally said. "That was... intense."

"Yona understand." The yak smiled. "Tempest pony okay in Yona book!"

The others nodded as well.

"Thanks..." Tempest looked up at them with a wry smile. "You know... I hadn't actually planned on doing the whole opening-up-and-getting-to-know-you thing for a while yet. But... I'm kinda glad I did, just the same..."

Further conversation was halted when the library doors gleamed with magenta magic, and then swung open.

Twilight stepped into the room, a solemn look on her face.

"Headmare Twilight!" Silverstream leapt into the air and hovered nervously. "Is the school shut down? Are you in trouble? Are we in trouble? Are we going to be sent to another school? Are we going to be sent home? Do we still have to turn in our book reports on Monday? Is there anything we can do to help?"

The other students looked at each other. "Uh, yeah," Sandbar added lamely, "everything she just said."

Twilight took a moment, and then spoke.

"The Friendship School is temporarily shut down," she said. "And I want to apologize to you all for not explaining our... unusual legal status. I didn't want it to interfere with your studies. It was my worry, not yours." She looked downcast, and went on in a sad monotone. "As you saw, the EEA has certain reservations about our methods. They feel the School conflicts with their guidelines. And thus the School needed to be closed down, pending further discussion, and..."

"Well, that's just dumb!" Smolder interrupted. She glanced around, and then shrugged. "I mean, okay, I wasn't into this place all that much at first, but... yeah, I like it here! The Friendship School is all right!"

"Have to say," Gallus agreed, "I'm learning things here I'd never have learned at home. About ponies, about griffons, and about all the rest of you too. Seems worth it to me."

"And our school is so much better than that school in Vanhoover," Ocellus piped up. "Because our school can fly! Instead of just sitting in classrooms, we get to have our lessons someplace new, every single day! I like our school!"

"Yona not want Headmare Twilight unhappy! Yona like Friendship School too!"

"Yay! Go Friendship!" Silverstream shouted. "Oooh, is that our new school cheer?"

Sandbar shrugged, grinning. "It'll do, until we come up with something better!"

Twilight looked at them all, a hesitant smile spreading across her face.

"Don't worry," she said. "I'm heading to Canterlot right now, to speak with Princesses Celestia and Luna. I'll describe the wonderful progress you've all made, and I hope I'll be back soon with good news. In the meantime, I'd like all you to keep busy with your homework assignments. Tempest, can I ask you and Starlight to manage things here until I get back?"

"You... don't want me with you, Highness?"

"It's probably better for me to do this one alone. And despite what Chancellor Neighsay seems to think, the well-being of our students is our top priority. So I'll need you to see to that."

Tempest nodded. "Consider it done, Your Highness. And we'll see you when you get back."

Twilight smiled in return, and left through the doors, shutting them behind her.

"If she's coming back..." Gallus whispered morosely.

"You mean she might not?" Silverstream looked panicky. "Oooh, I wish we could do something to help!"

"Yeah," Smolder agreed. "But what?"

"Like, speak up for her?" Sandbar suggested. "I mean, why should she have to defend our School alone?"

"Yes!" Yona stamped a hoof. "Yona in! Ha! Yona in first this time!"

"I'm game, too," Gallus said. "Uh, just one problem: she's on her way to Canterlot, and we're stuck here? Doing homework?"

Ocellus glanced around. "I think I could put off doing homework..." she said quietly. "Just this once."

"Okay, so... how do we get there?" Sandbar asked.

"Ahem!"

Startled, the students all looked worriedly at Tempest...

... who was looking back at them with a crafty smile.

"You know," she mused, "Her Highness told me to keep an eye on you... but she didn't specify exactly where, now did she?"

She looked around at them, feigning surprise.

"I mean, the Friendship School isn't the only ship in my fleet, is it?"

Comments

[Scyphi]

"Am I hearing this correctly? This school employs actual pirates as teaching staff?"

Oh yeah, of course, not only does he show up at all, he shows up just in time to hear the conversation out of context.

Honestly, though, Twi, you should've known he was going to try this sooner or later, the first chance you gave him. He does have his axe to grind, after all.

"I wish you joy of it, Princess," Neighsay retorted coldly. "And I shall look forward to reviewing your revised, conformant plans for this so-called School, once you have them."

He acts like Celestia can't overrule him. But legally speaking, she technically could if she so chose to, and Neighsay couldn't exactly stop her. It may not go over well in the public eye, which is why Celestia didn't just do that in the first place, and would probably be hesitant to do it now, not when other methods could be just as effective, but his arrogance on this is just....

[Eroraf86]

Neighsay is so SCREWED. I cannot wait to see what Celestia has to say to him.

[Fetch]

Future scene:

Celestia: Neighsay, you have overstepped your authority for the last time. You are hereby removed from your position, effective immediately.
Neighsay: Fine. That just means my lock spell will keep that 'school' closed.
Twilight: Oh, I could have removed that spell right when you placed it.
Neighsay: WHAT?
Twilight: But I did not want you to possibly do something rash, like burning the ship. I don't want you dead, which is likely what you would have been if Tempest thought you were a serious threat.
Celestia: Guards, please escort Neighsay to his former office so that he can clear it for his replacement. Princess Twilight, return to your school and run it as you see fit, with my blessing.

[SpikeSmolder fan]

I knew Twilight would have to deal with Neighsay sooner or later, but seeing him in his utter arrogance against her & the Young Six really made my blood boil. I believe my fave of the young six Smolder said it best :

Smolder held up her claws in astonishment. "Uh, hello? How do you think I wound up here? But I feel just like Tempest," she added, jerking a thumb in the Commander's direction. "The way that Chancellor Horseface was looking at us, I wanted to give him a good scorching to remind him who he was talking to!"

I really hope you got something good that will hit him hard on his speciest face!

[Electric_Ghost6]

This and your past story really do deserve more attention, they’re really well made and entertaining

[Arkonfleight]

9547307
>Pirates as staff
I mean, that entire deal is kind of wibbly anyway. Who exactly are they stealing from, now that the storm king's gravel? Or is "Pirate" a conveniently unrelated word in equestria?

[Lets Do This]

9548297
My take on it is that, this being a kid's show, a "pirate" in this world is as Celaeno's crew describe themselves: swashbuckling treasure hunters: in other words, adventure-seeking scavengers who live by their own code and define themselves by the worth of what they're fighting for. And... who aren't above swiping the odd gemstone or airship, when it's not nailed down and doing so isn't leaving anyone in the lurch... they have to keep up their image, after all. They're outlaws, but not the murderous cutthroats that pirates are in RL.

[Scyphi]

9548297
I was more pointing out that the self-described "pirates" (they do kinda use that term a little loosely, honestly) were not actually members of the school staff, and were more...guest-speakers at best, and I hesitate to even run with that term. But because Neighsay clearly entered the scene in time to hear one of the Young Six float the idea of them being on the staff, that's the idea he runs with.

And this of course overlooks completely how said "pirates" are both allies, and were key allies in giving a certain Storm King what-for anyway, but of course Neighsay overlooks that on the grounds that it'd invalidate his argument, and he can't have that, now can he?