Twilight's Pirate School

by Lets Do This

Ponies Smash Good As Yaks!

The high mountain winds tore through the Great Yakaznik Forest, making the heavy pines creak and groan, and knocking yesterday's snowfall from the branches. The snow sloughed away in heavy drifts, trailing dense clouds of flakes that whipped away on the cutting breeze.

Yona loved it. It was pleasant day in Yakyakistan.

Her family worked their way through the forest, looking for the perfect trees to knock down and break up into smashing logs. Oh, and some logs that were not for smashing, which could be used for walls of huts. But those were not the best logs. That was why they were not for smashing.

Yona bounded over the heavy snow cover, or simply bulled her way through the lighter drifts. It depended on Yona's mood. Occasionally her hoof caught one of her long mane braids, or her other forehoof, or simply landed wrong and Yona went tumbling, landing with a heavy thump in a confused heap.

But Yona didn't mind. Snow was soft, so what was problem? Tumble never hurt yak, and was fun besides!

Yona had wandered a little ways away from her family, coming to the edge of the forest. Here the snow-drifted hillside abruptly dropped away, diving into the tree line below. Beyond she could see the central village of Yakyakistan spread out before her, its great log walls and thatched huts a cheering sight in the chilly wilderness. She took in a great sniffing breath of the icy wind, enjoying the bracing cold and the tickling crackle of it inside her nose.

And then she snorted in surprise, huffing out clouds of mist. Her hazel eyes were wide open and staring.

There was something else down there, something that made her doubt her eyes. It was a massive lavender ship, descending steadily through the air towards the main entrance to the village. Yona had never seen anything like it. Yet, there was something oddly familiar about it... the vibrant colors, the peculiar swirling patterns on its sides...

"Oh! Is ponies!" Yona leapt happily. Like all yaks, she recalled the occasional visits of the curious, thin-coated creatures from the far south. For some reason no yak could fathom, everything ponies touched turned bright colors, including the balloon they traveled in, and clearly this big lavender ship as well.

Yona thought ponies were fun. Strange, yes, but Yona liked strange things. Except spiders. Yona shuddered at memory, of plunge through unexpected hole in snow, into cavern filled with cobweb and crawling, eight-legged creatures... and also strange pictures on cavern walls: yaks fighting dragons, bolts of lightning, and strange angular shapes floating in sky. Yona had no idea what pictures were about. Yona remembered only because Yona was able to follow them to find cave exit.

No, Yona decided... spiders definitely not on list of strange things Yona liked!

But this great lavender-colored ship... this could be fun!

Yona turned and bounded back into the forest, to find family and tell of pony visit. Harvest of smashing logs could wait. Yona needed to see this for self!

A short time later Yona and her family returned to the village, entering via the smaller rear gate. Yona hurried ahead, through the jumble of huts, to the village center where many important yaks were already gathered.

Yona arrived just in time to see a familiar, radioactively pink pony trot through the main gate, wearing a helmet with outsized horns on her head. The pony wound up and then belted out a high-pitched greeting:

"Goooooood Afternoon Yakyakistannnn!"

"Pink pony!" Prince Rutherford roared happily in reply.

"Hey there, Prince!" Pinkie bounded over to him, and clonked her helmet's horns against his gold-plated ones. Then she glanced around the open space excitedly. "Oh, hey! I didn't realize Yickslurbertfest was here already!"

"Is not!" Rutherford gestured with a hoof at the heavy logs scattered around the square in front of the many yaks present. "These not holiday smashing logs! These everyday smashing logs!" He scowled disapprovingly at her. "Pink pony not know difference?"

"Wellllll... now you mention it..." Pinkie eyed the logs carefully, in every detail. Then she shook her head. "Nope! Can't fool me! These are the same high quality smashing logs you use on every occasion!"

There was a dangerous pause. Then the yaks burst into bellowing laughter and loud stomping.

"Pink pony know yak ways!" Rutherford complimented her. "Is true honorary yak! Always good seeing pink pony and pony friends!"

"Awww, thanks, Prince!" Pinkie beamed. "Now, introductions... Princess Twilight here, you already know."

"Yaks honored by Princess visit!"

"A pleasure to see you again, Prince Rutherford." Twilight nodded in reply.

"And this is Spike! He's Twilight's assistant. And over there is Commander Tempest... and her assistant, Grubber. Tempest is Twilight's bodyguard!"

"Huh!" Rutherford looked doubtful. "Pony bodyguard for Princess? How that keep Princess safe?"

Tempest glanced at Twilight for permission, and then she stepped forward to face Rutherford.

"Like this," she said.

She stamped an armored shoe on the end of the log sitting in front of him, flipping it high into the air. Bounding after it, she swiped a forehoof, cutting it in half. Her hooves lashed out in two directions, detonating both pieces.

She came down, foresquare on her hooves... in a shower of toothpicks.

In the stunned silence that followed, Yona's excited scream was piercing.

"Yona not believe that! Ponies smash good as yaks!"

There was general agreement, and much excited shouting and stamping of hooves by the assembled yaks. Rutherford nodded in approval. "I see Princess Twilight safe, with Tempest pony as bodyguard. Ponies full of surprises! Now, what bring Princess to yaks for visit?"

"Well..." Twilight said, "if I could have juuust a few minutes of your time, I have an exciting idea I wanted to share with Yakyakistan. One that can benefit both yaks and ponies alike."

"Ponies have yaks interest! Yaks listen!"

Rapidly, Twilight spelled out the School and her plans for it. The yaks nodded attentively. "So... is pony school?" Rutherford summarized, a little doubtfully. "Teach pony friendship?"

"It teaches friendship," Twilight gently corrected, "which applies to every creature, whether they be yaks or ponies or otherwise. And it also teaches how every creature may express their friendship differently, but we can all benefit from it just the same."

"Hmmm... is good for School to teach Yak ways of friendship! Yaks live in cold and snow. It make yaks tough. So yaks not always show friendship. But yaks know it valuable. Teaching yak friendship help others to understand yaks better... so they be better friends for yaks!"

Yona hopped excitedly. "And School teach ponies how to smash like yaks?"

"Eee-yes, well," Twilight said, a little self-consciously, "that's not all we teach. Although I certainly wouldn't object to adding a physical education class. Maybe Commander Tempest could even be persuaded to teach it?"

"I'll see if I can fit it in my schedule, Your Highness," Tempest replied with a smirk.

Rutherford nodded. "Ha! Ponies more like yaks than yaks thought! Yaks be proud to send student to school that understand yaks so well!"

"That's great!" Twilight said, relieved. "So, did you have anyone in mind?"

"Oh! Yona! Yona want to go!" she cried, bounding in place.

"Is good idea!" Prince Rutherford gestured toward her. "This Yona yak! Very strong, very smart yak. She go to School, she make it better!"

"Yona can go? Pleeeease?" She looked beseechingly at her parents. "Want to see ponies, tell all about how Yakyakistan is best!"

The bemused yaks looked at each other, then her mother nodded indulgently. "Yona old enough to wear hair in braids, Yona old enough to make choice for self," her mother said flatly. "Yona make yak family very proud!"

"Yay!" Overjoyed, Yona bounced in the air. "Yona not let family down!" Then she turned and raced forward towards Twilight. Unfortunately, she landed a hoof wrong, catching the end of one of her braids. In moments, she was tumbling out of control, heading straight for the Princess.

And then she hit what felt like a solid wall. It was Commander Tempest, who had swiftly interposed herself, taking the full force of Yona's impact against her armor without flinching.

Yona landed on her back. She stared up at the Commander's darkly serious expression.

"Yona not mean to do that," she offered meekly. "Pony not be mad at Yona?"

Tempest simply raised an eyebrow. "Maybe we should add lessons in poise as well, little one," she replied. Then she looked to Twilight. "What do you think, Princess?"

"I think Yona will make a great addition to the School's initial class." Twilight beamed. "Prince Rutherford, I can't tell you how much this means to us! Thank you!"

"Ponies welcome! Now, come join yaks in friendly smashing!"

Comments

[SpikeSmolder fan]

Smashing success in getting Yona into the school there, I approve!

Guess that leaves our green pony to meet his future creature friends, can't wait to see that plus the school actually running in full swing.

[Eroraf86]

Tempest continues to smash all expectations.

[Starlight Nova]

Will Cozy Glow still be the main villain?

[Scyphi]

Right then! Time to swing back to Ponyville to fetch Sandbar!

[Equestrian Defender]

Always good to see Yona.

Yaks love smashes? They'd probably be best buds with this guy!

The smash to end all smashes.

[Little_Draco]

Did we already do a meme where yona is hulk`s favorite creature?

[Dark Shade 75]

and also strange pictures on cavern walls: yaks fighting dragons, bolts of lightning, and strange angular shapes floating in sky.

Man, that Wild Wasteland perk is crazy.