• Published 25th Dec 2018
  • 2,063 Views, 76 Comments

The Iron Ho-Ho-Horse: Hearth's Warming By The Numbers - The Hat Man



Hearth's Warming with the family is traditional! A family made up of robots... that's less traditional. Turing Test decides to unite her robotic siblings and their creator for a holiday gathering in Mustangia in this collection of vignettes.

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Division

Turing Test went up to her room to put the gifts she’d received with her things while the others began to prepare breakfast together. 001 was already trying to learn a new song on her accordion and the music filled the house.

As she was turning to leave, however, she spotted something outside her window.

It was a tiny machine with a propeller: a drone. It was watching her with a singular camera eye. It did not retreat when she spotted it, but rather stayed there for a few moments before slowly pulling back and flying out over the orchard.

Turing’s ears lifted and her eyes constricted. Could it be…?

She grabbed something from her luggage in a small box and galloped down the stairs as quickly as she could, even running past her family.

“Turing?” Cobbler called. “Where are you going?”

“I will be back soon, Father!” she shouted back, and ran out the back door.

Using her keen sense of hearing, she followed the sound of the small drone as it led her out into the orchard. It was cold, and though it wasn’t snowing, a light fog had gathered among the trees, and soon the family mansion was no longer visible in the heavy morning mist.

Almost anything could be hiding out there, but she had her suspicions of who it could be.

She began to slow as she heard the drone humming as it hovered in the middle of a clearing among the peach trees. It wasn’t running from her, she was certain now; the drone had led her there.

The drone gently touched down and skittered away on tiny metallic legs. Just as Turing was about to follow, she heard hoofsteps sinking into the damp grass.

She could make out the shape of somepony approaching. Then, through the mist, she saw the dull glow of a singular yellow light.

And then she was sure who it was.

“002?” Turing whispered.

Her second eldest sibling strolled into view, the moisture of the mist collecting all along her slender titanium frame. She stared back at her with one unblinking yellow eye.

“Hello again, 003,” she said, her harsh, raspy voice echoing among the trees. She tossed her head back, clearing the long strands of her mane out of her face to see Turing better. “I see you followed my drone.”

“Sister!” Turing cried, rushing forward.

“No!” 002 hissed, holding up a hoof. “No hugs. I’m not here to indulge your sentimentality.”

Turing stopped in her tracks, her ears drooping. “Oh. Very well.” She paused, waiting for 002 to explain herself, but when she didn’t, she said “Then why have you come here, 002?”

“Heh. I wish I knew,” 002 said, rolling her eye. She began to march in a circle around her younger sibling. “Part of me considered that this might be an ideal opportunity to get closer to that old fool and take my revenge without the Royal Guard getting in the way… but honestly, I was perfectly content just cutting him out of my life and being done with him forever.

“Or maybe it’s just some urge leftover from that idiotic dead girl that still lives in a tiny corner of our brains that made me want to come back to this place at this time of year.

“Or… or maybe it was my best chance to see you without a bunch of organics around.”

Turing tilted her head. “You wished to see me? Did you not say that you were not here to indulge in sentimentality?”

“No, I said I wasn’t here to indulge your sentimentality. My sentimentality is a different story…”

Turing Test’s eyes shifted into upward curves to indicate that she was smiling. “I see. Then I hope you are as happy to see me as I am to see you.”

“Well, I’ve been keeping tabs on Canterlot. You’ve heard of the drones. Maybe seen a few? I’ve built quite a few in my spare time…”

There was a sudden rush of sound and suddenly Turing Test found herself surrounded. A great swarm of insectoid drones of all different shapes emerged from the trees and flew into view.

“You have been busy,” Turing remarked, looking around.

“Oh yes, very busy,” 002 said. “Thus, I needed their assistance.”

“Assistance? With what? What have you been doing, Sister?”

“Science,” 002 said curtly. “My own science. Not hindered by those meatbags back in TechQuestria. I’m no one’s assistant or flunkey anymore.”

Turing nodded. “I am glad you have found something to occupy your time.”

002 raised her head. “Yes. I have.”

The two were silent for a moment. Then, her voice strained, Turing said, “002… I… I was so worried about you.”

002 took a step back. “Me? Why?! I can take care of myself!”

“But you have been missing since the day you disappeared! I have not seen you in half a year! You gave no word or greeting, and I often wondered if perhaps something had happened to you!”

“What I do is my business! I don’t need to waste my time reassuring you!”

“But… but 002… you are my sister. And now, perhaps more than at any point in my life, I have come to appreciate how wonderful it is to have a family. I wish you could have joined us. If you would only come back to the house with me—”

“Not happening,” 002 said abruptly, shaking her head. “Maybe you can forgive the pony who tried to make slaves out of us, but I can’t. And among our siblings, you’re the only one I tolerate.”

Turing sat down heavily. “You… ‘tolerate’ me?”

002’s eye shifted. “That’s not… I mean…”

She heaved a mechanical sigh. Then she took a few steps forward and embraced her.

“Oh, fine,” 002 said softly. “If you really want me to say it, then I will… but my way.”

Turing looked up as the drones began to maneuver themselves into a new formation. The flying and crawling drones used the nearby trees to form a message out of their little skittering bodies, and this is what it said:

I ❤ U 003

“Ah… Sister…”

Turing returned the hug.

“Yes, fine… I cannot deny that I care for you, 003,” she said, pulling away. “For what it’s worth, I’m fine. I just do not wish for the company of others… especially smelly meatbags like the kind you associate with. I won’t say where I’ve been or where you can find me, but you may take comfort in knowing that I am well. And, in truth, I have realized that I miss you… to a degree. So… let me give you your Hearth’s Warming present.”

Turing Test tilted her head to the side. “A present?” she asked.

002’s eye momentarily brightened and a single drone flew down to her. It then folded up into an egg shape.

“I call this drone ‘Pigeon.’ It can record a short message if you ask it to,” 002 said. “It will then relay it to me and I can send it back to you. I would prefer it if you would keep your messages relatively free of frivolity, but at least you won’t have to worry.”

She picked it up and gave it to Turing. “There. Happy now, 003?”

Turing nodded. “Yes. Thank you, Sister.”

“Good. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll be on my way—”

“Wait!” Turing cried.

“Oh for the love of science… what?!”

Turing held up the box she’d taken from her room.

“And that is…?” 002 asked.

“It is your Hearth’s Warming present!” Turing said. “It is a new LED eye that will allow you to express your thoughts and feelings more plainly, like I and our other siblings do!”

002 looked down at the box. “Facial expressions… like an organic.” She scoffed. “Thanks but no thanks, 003… it will be a cold day in Tartarus before I start acting like a meatbag.”

“Tartarus is not particularly warm from what I understa—”

“You know what I mean!” 002 snapped. Then she heaved an artificial sigh. “Fine, you know what? I will take this present just so you don’t feel bad. Perhaps some day I will even find a use for it.

“Now, since we’ve exchanged gifts, may I please leave?”

Turing nodded. “Of course. Happy Hearth’s Warming, Sister,” she said cheerfully. “I hope you will join us next year.”

“Tch. Right. And maybe changelings will turn pastel.” As she moved back into the mist, she paused, looking over her shoulder. “...Happy Hearth’s Warming, 003.”

Turing Test watched her go, the drones disappearing with her into the orchard, until she was once again alone.

***

Back at the house, Turing Test went to the parlor. She went up to the mantle and made a little room next to her own Hearth’s Warming doll.

I suppose it is true that we are not a traditional family. But Maud Pie is right… celebrating Hearth’s Warming with family, creating new traditions, connecting with each other even when we live far apart… it truly is the best.

She placed 002’s Hearth’s Warming doll onto the mantle. She gave a nod of approval and turned back to celebrate the day with her family as they discussed the past and looked forward to whatever the future held in the new year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HEARTH’S WARMING

AND THE BEST TO YOU ALL IN THE NEW YEAR!

Comments ( 24 )

So, 002 secretly founded Aperture Science?

Real cute! Thank you for the Christmas gift.

9367301
It was a triumph!

9367376
You are welcome! I'm glad you liked it!

Merry Christmas Hatman

Okay, this story was just precious. Now I kinda wonder what 002 will say when the changeling reformation happens ... (probably that unlike Chrissy, she can keep her drones in line, but what can you do?)
I love this story, especially because everything 001 does is adorable (interesting to know that her way of speaking is a result of her difficulty in vocalizing her thoughts not of the thoughts themselves).
The one minor gripe I have is the first chapter stating that Turing is 'one of many' robots. I know it's a matter of personal opinion, but at least to me, five does not constitute 'many'.
Regardless of that though, this was wonderful, and Happy Hearths Warming

Ri2

Oh, there you are 002.

I'm a bit concerned about what she might have been up to...

This was absolutely adorable!

I like how much Turing and Maud care for each other. How they interact fits so well.

I love how you added 001's thoughts. Even though you have implied and (practically shown us) it before, you really emphasized in this story that 001 is basically the equivalent of a mentally challenged kid that is as sweet as the peaches she picks. (I do not know for certain which one she might be, I think it's close to autism, but if I'm wrong, please, please, please correct me, I would like to see what you think.)

004 is learning and is growing so much. And I love he got his new voice. IDEA!!! Since you mentioned possible dangers to Turing Test and her family, and you said he can still use his old, more menacing voice, you could do a story where 004 is learning about his emotions and himswlf as a pony when someone (maybe one of those bitter Old Techquestria ponies you mentioned) threatens his family (which would mostly include Turing Test and Cobbler). He then calmly approaches the villain and then using his menacing voice (and perhaps switching into a more powerful form, like A form, if only for a few seconds), pulls a "If you hurt my family, I will pulverize you" kind of moment scaring the pony off.
This could really let his character development and growth shine. If you include Unit 002 as part of the family he's protecting, then it could a moment for Unit 002 to start respecting Unit 004.

Unit 002 seemed exactly as she should be. She was mischievous, snarky, had an attitude, and seemed unaccepting. All the little details you mentioned opens up the series to so many different possibilities for ideas. Because as this story shows, she's not emotionless. She cares for Turing. Even if you take that out, she has snark and attitude. That wouldn't be possible without emotion unless she was programmed to be like that. (Personally, I feel as if she cares for all of them and that she is just bitter (for good reason) and due to her former situation, she feels the need to be independent. I mean, her dad and everyone else kinda used her and essentially enslaved her. I also have a feeling she is trying to rid herself of these feelings because 1) She is bitter and doesn't want to be similar to those "stinky meatbags" that did that to her and possibly 2) She is scared to have emotions. She thinks having emotions will hurt her more than help her. This would explain her reluctance to be around anyone. But no matter how far away she stays, she can't get herself to stop caring about Turing, her sister and one of the mares who helped free her from her enslavement. In reference to the story idea I gave earlier, if a Old Techquestria pony captured her and the other family members and then Unit 004 saved her, it would probably increase her overall respect for him.

I wish you could add a epilogue where it shows them all saying goodbye. (Maybe add how one of them noticed she put 002's figurine up on the mantle)

I always love your work. Good Night, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.

Signing out, VShuffler42

When do we get the crossover where 002 becomes GLaDOS?

Sorry I was so late to the party. This was an awesome story to read, and loving the family that was set up here.

One of the things I always liked about your stories was the small details that were thrown in to help the characters be themselves. Thank you so much, and you got this!

Merry Christmas (belated...)

Such a sweet story for Christmas :twilightsmile:

It feels so good to read something about Turing Test and her siblings again. Their are all so sweet on their own way.
But most of all I enjoyed 002 the most. She may be calculating and cold to the world she was born into...but even she cares for Turing and see her as an important part of her life.

I wish you and all other readers :

Merry Christmas and a happy new year! :pinkiehappy:

P.S.: May I make a guess about the reference of the story title?

"Heartaches By The Number" by Guy Mitchell? :ajsmug:

9367708
001 is actually quite smart, it's just none of it comes out of her mouth quite right, so everyone else gets the impression she's mentally challenged.

9368405
Well yes, I knew that, she is very smart. She just can't communicate well. I did not mean mentally challenged as in not intelligent or dumb. I meant mentally challenged as in she can't communicate her ideas, emotions, and thoughts well. That is still a form of mentally challenged because she has trouble connecting what happens on the inside and what happens on the outside.

I have known many people that are mentally challenged who are extremely smart.

I hope this clarifies what I said.

Signing out, VShuffler42

AAAAAAHHHHHH
I haven't even read it yet (going to in a bit) and I'm already super duper excited! :rainbowkiss:

Ahh, nice. :)
I may have gotten to it a few days after Christmas, but it still had some effect. And, hey, the bit about the new year's still good, and we're not certain just how Hearth's Warming wraps to our calendar, perhaps. :D
Thanks for writing. :)

The bit about the family tradition of having someone pass out gifts brought back some of my own holiday memories; every year from as far back as I remember to at least when I moved away from home, I think it was (and I did most of my growing up near a college town, so moving away from home was after I got my bachelor's degree), we'd go down to my paternal grandfather's house, where a bunch of other members of my dad's side of the family would gather (my mother's family unfortunately lived significantly further away), and when it came time for presents, he (my paternal grandfather) would sit by the tree in the living room, call out names, and pass out the gifts. :)

“Tch. Right. And maybe changelings will turn pastel.” As she moved back into the mist, she paused, looking over her shoulder. “...Happy Hearth’s Warming, 003.”

Alright, looking forward to next Hearthswarming then :p

Counting on Turings memory to recall and hold her to that!

Woah 8 chapters? I was expecting a one shot let alone 8 chapters either way I'm very happy for this

Thank you very much for making this amazing story and thank you for the work you put into these stories and happy new year ^^

9378696
And a very happy new year to you too!

“Tch. Right. And maybe changelings will turn pastel.” As she moved back into the mist, she paused, looking over her shoulder. “...Happy Hearth’s Warming, 003.”

Looking forward to your 2019 xmas special, then. XD

I finally got around to reading this...

Hush I've been busy.

As per usual, this was flipping adorable. Your stuff always brings a smile to me, even in these dark days of mine.

Never change, Hatsie.

“Tch. Right. And maybe changelings will turn pastel.”

Then she sees what happens to the changelings not long after. "...Damn meatbags...."

002 does care, in her own way. Well, until <redacted> can be deleted...

“Tch. Right. And maybe changelings will turn pastel.” As she moved back into the mist, she paused, looking over her shoulder. “...Happy Hearth’s Warming, 003.”

Several years later

002: WHEN THE BUCK DID CHANGELINGS TURN PASTLE??!?:flutterrage:

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