• Published 25th Dec 2018
  • 2,062 Views, 76 Comments

The Iron Ho-Ho-Horse: Hearth's Warming By The Numbers - The Hat Man



Hearth's Warming with the family is traditional! A family made up of robots... that's less traditional. Turing Test decides to unite her robotic siblings and their creator for a holiday gathering in Mustangia in this collection of vignettes.

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Eight

Cobbler, 004, and Turing Test all made their way up the wide alley lined on either side with ancient oak trees that led to the front door of the family household. 004 pulled a cart that carried Cobbler’s luggage and the portable generators for both himself and Turing.

“Ah, such a sight for sore eyes,” Cobbler breathed, looking all around him at the home where he’d grown up.

“Are your eyes sore, Father?” 004 asked. “If so, I would be glad to find you some medicine.”

“He is using a figurative expression,” Turing told him. “He only means that he is glad to see his home after a prolonged absence.”

“Exactly, Turing Test,” Cobbler said as they arrived at the entrance to the house. “Well, let’s not keep everypony waiting.”

He was about to step forward and knock on the double doors at the entrance when they both suddenly opened.

Auntie Bellum stepped out wearing her best green dress and smiled at them all. “Welcome, everypony!” she said. “Nephew, it’s so good to see you back at our family home. And I am ever so grateful to have my youngest grandniece and grandnephew here with us as well. I hope y’all will find it to your liking.”

She glanced over her shoulder and whispered “Psst. Sweetie, that’s your cue!”

001 leaped into view and shouted “Nappy Fart’s Warming, evvypony!” before breaking into song: “Deck the balls with balls so ballsy! Fa da da da—”

“Oh my goodness, 001, stop!” Auntie Bellum cried, clamping 001’s mouth shut. She turned to the others, blushing. “Dang it all… she got it right when we practiced, I swear!”

But Cobbler was already laughing. “Not to worry, Auntie,” he said, waving a hoof dismissively. “I’ve grown to appreciate 001’s… unique way of doing things.”

Auntie Bellum sighed and let go of 001’s mouth.

“Me give hugs okay now?” she asked.

“Yes, yes,” Auntie said, rolling her eyes. “By all means.”

“Yaayy! Dada here!” 001 shouted, running forward and wrapping her forelegs around Cobbler.

“Oof!” he grunted. “Easy there, 001, I’m not a young pony anymore.” Then he patted her on the head. “But it’s good to see you again, sweetheart.”

Turing Test stepped forward as well. “I am also glad to see you again, 001,” she said, lining up for a hug as well.

“Hihi, Turry Tess!” 001 exclaimed, going to accept the hug. “Me miss lil sissa. You still be Sinister?”

Turing looked to Auntie Bellum.

“She means ‘minister,’ Turing Test,” Auntie said.

“Ah, I see,” she said. “Then yes. And I believe my work is progressing well.”

“Speaking of progress,” Cobbler said, glancing over at 004, “why not greet your aunt and your sister, my boy?”

004 nodded. “Hello, Auntie and 001,” he said.

Both Auntie Bellum and 001 froze.

“What the… Cobbler Mustang, did you give him—”

“Lil Brudda talk diffint now!” 001 said. “Me like it!”

004 tilted his head. “You do?”

001 nodded.

“Well, I certainly do too,” Auntie said. “It just caught me off guard. Ain’t that just the loveliest surprise! But where are my manners… please come inside! We’ve got a fire in the fireplace and a fresh batch of mulled cider waitin’.”

The group of them went inside, ready to begin their family holiday together.