Twilight Did WHAT?!

by RebelNarrator45

Twilight is a bad pony...or maybe not...

Author's Note:

This is totally a random, stupid story and I have no clue why I wrote it. Chalk it up to a coffee overdose, I guess

Enjoy it, hate it, like it, bash the heck out of it, I don't care......

I regret nothing in this story.

NOTHING.

"Anypony know why we're here?" Dash hovered above the castle floor, looking around the room.

"Nope." Applejack said. "Twilight wasn't too clear. Just said she wanted to have an emergency meetin' today."

Dash sighed and plunked herself down onto her throne.

"I do hope everything is alright." Rarity said anxiously. "Spikey Wikey seemed very anxious to deliver the message to all of us and get back to Twilight."

"Ooh, do you suppose there's been a cupcake invasion and Twilight needs us all to save the day by eating them??" Pinkie Pie asked, bouncing excitedly at the idea.

Dash snorted. "I think we'd know if cupcakes invaded, Pinkie."

"But what if they're secret cupcakes?" Pinkie asked. "On a secret mission to destroy Equestria?"

"Uh, I still think we'd know." Dash said. "Be kind of hard for cupcakes of any kind to sneak in and..." She broke off, shook her head, and raised her voice. "Wait a minute! No! No way am I having this conversation! Not now, not ever!!"

"Why not, darling?" Rarity asked with a smirk. "Wouldn't you like to fight off terifying cupcakes with Pinkie? Hmmm? We could call you The Cupcake Destroyer and Sidekick."

Dash leveled her with an icy glare, but any response she may have had was cut off as the door opened and in came Twilight, slowly, levitating six medium size boxes in front of her. She looked very sad and solemn as she put them down gently on the table. Spike and Starlight, looking like they didn't know whether to laugh or cry, tagged along.

"Oh dear." Rarity said. "Whatever is the matter, darling?"

Twilight lifted teary eyes to her friends and sniffed.

"I am a terrible pony." She said sadly. "And since you will find out why sooner or later, I am going to confess right now. And hopefully you won't hate me."

"Uh, Twilight, what...?" Dash started, only to see Starlight shaking her head.

Twilight began to pace, clearly struggling inwardly. Her friends exchanges worried glances.

"Sugarcube, ya don't hafta worry." Applejack said. "Ya know ya can tell us anythin'. We won't hate ya, neither."

"Of course not." Rarity said.

"Nope nope nope!!" Pinkie piped up.

"What they said." Dash offered.

"Um...what's wrong?" Fluttershy asked softly.

Twilight took a deep breath, let it out, and began to speak.

"It was supposed to be a very easy spell." She said. "Change something into something else and then back again. "

"Ain't that a spell ya already done a million times?" Applejack asked in confusion.

"Yes, but this is a speed change spell." Twilight said. "You change whatever it is into something else and back again in seconds, with the exact same blast of magic. In other words, you only need to light up your horn once."

"Its an easy spell. I've done it." Starlight added, only to earn a glare from both Spike and Twilight. "S...sorry. Clearly not helping. I'll just hush."

"Anyway," Twilight said, looking back at her friends. "I was trying it out and something went haywire somewhere. I...I destroyed my test subjects."

"You WHAT?!" Dash squawked in shock.

"I destroyed them." Twilight sniffled.

"How many subjects were ya tryin' to change?" Applejack asked.

"Six." Twilight said. "Six very cooperative subjects. They stayed exactly where I put them. And then I...I blew them to pieces. It was horrible."

Starlight and Spike were both turning red as what sounded like snorts came out of their mouths. Noticing this, the others looked to Twilight.

"Um, Twilight?" Fluttershy said. "Was it...really that...bad?"

"Worse!" Twilight wailed. "They had relatives! They were some of my dearest friends, too! I've known them since I was a filly!"

Fluttershy rushed to her side and threw her wings and forelegs around her, hugging her tightly.

"This is worse than invading cupcakes." Pinkie said, trotting over to put her own forelegs around Twilight.

"Well, uh, may...maybe a spell to put em back together?" Dash offered.

"They are too damaged!" Twilight choked. "I am such a bad pony! I'm a criminal! I shouldn't be princess, I should be in a dungeon!"

Spike suddenly bolted from the room. Nopony noticed that, nor did they notice him return with Princess Celestia following. Well...except for Starlight. Her eyes widened. But the princess shook her head.

"Well, maybe you could explain..." Rarity started, only to stop herself. "No. How do you explain loss of relatives that way?"

"Look Twilight," Applejack said. "It was an accident. Right, sugarcube? Ah'm sure nopony'll throw ya in a dungeon."

"And if they try it, we'll stop em!" Dash piped up.

"Yeah!" Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "I don't care who tries it, even if its Princess Celestia herself, I'll load my party cannon up and KABLAM! Right in the face!" She giggled.

Spike and Starlight looked up at Celestia, who smirked.

"Oh, no, Pinkie, don't mention her to me!" Twilight moaned. "She'll be so disappointed! And maybe I'll get banished to the moon."

She walked over to the table and stared at the boxes sadly, touching each with a hoof in turn.

"Goodbye, Harold. So long, Gregory. Farewell, Hamilton and Starry Sky. And you, Trottington and Dandelion. You were all true friends. I will miss you all." She teared up and turned away while the others stared at each other in horror.

"Twilight." Dash said. "You...you kept them? You...you didn't get rid of the...the...evidence???"

Twilight sniffled. "They all deserve a proper burial." She said sadly.

"Well, sure!" Pinkie said. "And I'll throw them a swell I'msosorryyougotblownupbyTwilight'smagicbutIhopeyourinabetterplacenow party!!"

Dash facehoofed. Then, curiousity getting the best of her, she reached for the lid on one of the boxes.

"Rainbow Dash, no, don't disturb them!!" Twilight cried.

Dash lifted the lid anyway and peeked in cautiously. Her expression of dread switched to utter confusion, and the others, except for Fluttershy, came to see. After a long moment, Applejack spoke.

"Sugarcube. Ah'm not tryin' to be mean or nothin' but...why does this look like a pile of burnt paper?"

"Yeah!" Dash said. "Just what the hay did you blow up, anyhow??"

"My boooooks!!" Twilight wailed. "Gifts from Celestia!! I destroyed them!! I'm a muderer!!" She flung herself down and cried.

"Are you telling me all this fuss was over a few books??" Dash demanded. "I thought you blew up PONIES! Ugh...Twilight, you can get other copies. They're just books!!"

Twilight looked up, eyes blazing. She rose up and glared at Dash.

"Just books??" She snapped. "They are not just books! They were gifts from Celestia! And they were my friends and companions. And I destroyed them! Now I'll have to tell Celestia I destroyed her gifts!! Maybe she won't be upset and banish me!"

Celestia chose that moment to burst into laughter. All eyes swung towards her, including Twilight's.

"Oh no." Twilight gulped.

"Twilight, I assure you its ok." Celestia said, amused. "Accidents will happen. I know you didn't destroy the books I gave you purposely."

"So, no banishment?" Twilight asked.

The highly amused Sun Princess shook her head.

"No. No banishment." She said.

"Ok." Twilight said.

"Would you like to stay for the party?" Pinkie asked.

"Thank you, no." Celestia said. "I must return to Canterlot immediately. But I wished to make sure you were alright. Spike was worried."

Twilight beamed at the baby dragon, who mumbled something unintelligible. Celestia took her leave and Starlight looked at Twilight.

"So..."she said. "Can we drop this now?" Twilight sighed.

"Hey!" Pinkie stood with forelegs crossed. "Not a chance! Harold and Gregory and Hamilton and Starry Sky and Trottingham and Dandelion deserve to have a party and be buried."

"Ok, ok." Dash said. "Can't believe I'm doing this...but what can I help with?"

Pinkie took charge and it wasn't long before the group was outside under a tree, laying Twilight's books to rest.

"You will never be forgotten." Twilight promised them, teary eyed.

After the brief burial, the group returned to the castle library to eat cake and talk about the books.

The books were gone, but they would live on in the heart, and especially the mind, of Twilight Sparkle.

Comments

[LunaFan183]

OMG!!! this was the best thing ever!!!!

[Hopeful_Ink_Hoof]

... I went through quite a list of what Twilight destroyed, starting with her friends before reading and going through small animals and even figurines. This... this was not what I expected.

[Karmada]

I expected books at the moment she mentioned relatives.

[Renodil]

Totally called it. When he said this was a totally random and stupid story I knew that it was gonna be books.

Thank you rikithemonk for teaching me about using spoilers.

[rikithemonk]

9184013
Spoilers, really!?

It managed to get on the front page and you spoil it?

[Renodil]

9184036
Whoops. Sowwy.

I changed it to be spoiler free.

[Yutah123]

Ahh, this was a good dose of comedy. I wonder how I haven't come across a Twilight as comedically ridiculous as this in the same way before. This type of over-sentimental Twilight has definitely been written before.

Regardless, I found this very funny.

[LoveMLPForever]

Totally hilarious!

[AmanDash]

I know that feeling. I lost my Chrysalis plushie 3 weeks ago. May she rest in peace.

[RebelNarrator45]

9189419
Your Chrysalis plushie? Chrysalis??? As in, the changeling that attacked Canterlot and nearly destroyed all of it? As in, kidnapped all of Equestria's princesses so she could take over?

THAT Chrysalis???

How could you, AmanDash? How could you betray the ponies of Equestria by consorting with one of their worst enemies? Plushie or no. How could you??

Ahem. That being said...

I do not regret the loss of your plushie.

I'm sorry, but I don't.

[AmanDash]

9189610
Yes, that Chrysalis, queen of the changelings. Not the one who is secretly a pony with shape-shifting abilities who wanted to perform a coup and take over Equestria AND the Changeling Empire :P

[Kevin Lee]

9189610
I'm pretty sure I read that in the Chryssie story you wrote. ♪♫

[TheGreatEater]

Hmmm ... mixed feelings on this. A great subversion of expectations. But how the naming was done ... and the speed of the subversion. It kinda fell flat for me. Still a pretty decent fic. Definitely upvote worthy.

[TheYear2525]

Argh, you got me, I could have sworn she destroyed plushies. But then again, books are like plushies to Twilight, so I should have expected that.

[Coolmathgamer124]

DAMMIT, I fell for it, I thought she had killed real ponies

[ThePinkedWonder]

I got a good laugh out of this! It even inspired me to write a variation to this a little while back, but I couldn't find this story again until now.

[TheCrimsonDM]

Its exactly as i expected but its also still very funny

[dziadek1990]

They are too damaged.

Ah, ok, non-living subjects. Books, I'm guessing? Especially since Spike is snickering?

Initially I thought that Twi blew up the girls, via a destructive teleport spell.
Like, she blew them up, and they re-formed in another location, without memory of death. And the plot twist was that she was talking to the ponies she "killed".

Then she said that she knew those friends from when she was a filly, and I was like "...did she became friends with her literal book-worms?" (the idea of Moondancer&Crew did not come to my mind.

But Twi-saying-her-friends-are-too-damaged (instead of injured, hurt, or such) made me sure her friends were not alive in the first place.

I will now continue reading and see if I guessed right.