35. Q&A! (Questions Now Answered)
Just a quick word before we start. In this chapter, it will be from the author's point of view. When the author speaks, it will be in RED and the questions will be in BLUE. Also, when this has finished, everyone will...actually, just read it and you'll find out.
"Damn it, I hope that worked. Hello? Anyone there?" Through the whiteness of the plane, several figures started to show. Approaching closer and closer, the figures finally came into view. And what a sight it was. "YES! Thank fuck for that!" I cleared my throat. "I tell ya, I'm glad to see you guys."
"Where are we?" asked Twilight.
"Yeah! Why is there nothing here?" Rainbow Dash added.
"And who's talking?" Luna finished.
"I think introductions are in order first. I know who all of you are but you can call me The Author. As for this place? It's just a little plane of existence where we can speak freely for a little while."
"Speak freely? What do you mean?" Celestia asked.
"I mean that this is a little experience with other beings that know of Equestria and it's inhabitants. Mainly the ponies of Ponyville, the human and the two Princesses." Celestia began to charge her horn with magic. "There is no need to panic dear Celestia. I mean you no harm at all. To put it simply, these other beings are extremely interested in the world you live in and they know about this through a story. A story centering around our little human friend here."
Owen's eyes widened at the mention of him. "Me? Why me?"
"Unique creature on an alien world? Come on, loads of people are interested in that! Look, why don't you all take a seat and we'll get started." A set of luxuriously designed chairs materialised behind each pony and the human who took a seat and got comfortable.
"So what actually happened to us?" asked Luna.
"To put it simply, I teleported you all here. Here being just a little plane of existence where no-one can enter apart from me and who I choose. Anyone thirsty?" A side table appeared next to each chair with a different drink on each. Each pony and the human sniffed and checked their drinks before taking a sip.
"Peach punch! My favourite!" Pinkie chimed.
"Iced tea. Oh and a good one as well!" Twilight added.
"Mmm...raspberry juice with lemonade...how did you know our favourite drinks?" asked Rarity.
"My own little bit of magic. Now, as for the reason of why you are here. As I said before, many people are aware of your world. But some people are more intrigued that others and have asked questions. Questions directed to you."
"You brought us here so that we can answer questions asked by creatures from another WORLD?!" Twilight shouted. She remained silent for a bit before grinning. "Then let's get to it!"
"Well then, I need no more enthusiasm than that. As she said, let's get cracking!" Now...first question is to--"
"Ooh! Ooh! Mr Author?"
"Ugh...Yes Pinkie, what is it?"
"What's this funny thing?" Pinkie held up a large grey cube.
"PINKIE! PUT THAT DOWN NOW! BETTER YET, THROW IT AWAY AS FAR AS YOU CAN!" I shouted. Pinkie did so and launched it away from us. We watched as it disappeared into nothing.
"What was wrong with that? It was only a cube." Applejack asked.
"THAT is a source of a major problem that can strike at any time. It's called a Writer's Block and it really causes trouble wherever it goes. Thankfully Pinkie got rid of it before it did any damage. Now, onto the first question. It's for Owen!"
Owen gulped. "R-right. Err...ask away?"
"And ask I shall. This question comes from imgonaeatarat...what a bizarre name...anyway. His question is 'So Owen I have to ask. When you crashed through the CMC's clubhouse was it like falling from heaven? or blasting through the ground being hurled out of hell?'"
"What kind of question is that?" Rainbow shouts out.
"Yeah. I admit it's a bit odd but...I'll answer it. To be perfectly honest, at the time when it happened, I didn't know what the hell was going on but I can describe how it felt. Have you ever had a migraine? I don't mean like one of those little headaches, I mean a full-blown migraine. Well imagine that but ten times worse. And that was just my head! For the rest of me, it was like having a couple of sumo wrestlers using me as a trampoline. So yeah, I'd say it was a bit of both. Falling from heaven but suffering hell on the way down."
"At least the doctors healed you." Fluttershy said quietly.
"Yeah that's true. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for them...and you as well." Owen replied with a smile.
"Sounded rough. OK, next question. This one is from Avatar of Shadow and it's...directed to Owen again. You sure are popular!"
"Hehe...yeah. So...what is it this time?" Owen asked.
"The question is...WHAT? Hold on a second."
"What is he doing?" Luna said.
"Beats me. I'm still trying to understand why we're here." Celestia replied.
"Right, sorry about that. It's just this question surprised me and I had to double check. Right, Owen. The question is 'What's your secret fetish?'"
"How rude!" Rarity said in a scolding manner.
"Indeed! Owen, do not answer that question!" Luna ordered.
"Bondage."
"OWEN!" screamed Luna.
"Wow, seriously?"
"Yeah. I think it's...pretty sexy. I'm yet to try it though." Owen looked over at Luna who was staring daggers at him. "Maybe sometime we can...*gulp*...I'll ask you another time."
"That's probably for the best. Next question is for...huh...doesn't say. Well, let's have a look at the...OK, who the hell wrote that? There's no way that...hold on." The sound of shuffling papers are heard by all. "Alright, OK. I'll ask this to everyone as I really don't have a clue. The question is from High_Wind and the question is 'What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?'"
"African or European?!" Owen shouted, laughing.
"Ugh...seriously, you own that boxset. Show it to the ponies. I'm sure they'll understand and who knows, you'll make Python fans out of them!"
"Python fans? You mean we'll like snakes?" Pinkie asked, bouncing on her chair.
"No Pinkie, it's...never mind, next question. This one is for...ooh...I guess to either Celestia or me...I don't know. It's from Chaotic Pony and it reads 'Is it possible for our hero to impregnate his mare in this story universe?'"
"Oh...um...I'm not entirely sure." Celestia stutters. "I would love to think so but I really don't know. Any ideas Owen?"
"How should I know? Human biology was never my strong subject and it still isn't. The only think I know is that humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes if that helps." Owen explained.
"Ponies have 32 pairs. I'm sorry but I cannot see that it's possible." Celestia replied with a hint of sadness.
"Oh man, what a downer. Who knows, maybe some magic'll come along and change that. I wish I could help. Right, next question. It's directed to Owen, again! It's from darkstar64 and it reads 'Did you know that in our world, all of Equestria is actually a children's cartoon? Twilight and her friends are the main characters. And since Shining Armour and Cadance haven't gotten married yet, I should probably warn you that--'"
"What does he mean by that? Is it true?" Owen asks.
"Um...excuse me for a moment. I have to check the...validity of this question. The sound of a door opening and closing was heard.
"What do ya think's going on?" Applejack asks.
It was the middle of the night. A human was asleep on their bed, frolicking in their own personal dream world. This human was a brony and of course, his dreams were about Equestria. The human had just visited Applejack on her farm and was walking back towards Ponyville. All of a sudden, a white light enveloped the human and in a second, the human disappeared.
Opening their eyes, the human looked around to see that it resided in a white space. Getting to it's feet, the human checked it's surroundings. Nothing. "Hello?"
"Hello darkstar64. I'm the author of Good Things Come. Welcome to my domain."
"What do you want from me?" the human asked.
"Only one thing." A powerful force struck the human across the face. It felt like a slap from a really angry woman. "Don't ask questions like that! Do you know how close I was to revealing everything to the characters? Don't do it again! Now, go on. Go back to your dreams."
In a split second, the human was back on the path towards Ponyville. The human looked around nervously before picking up a rock and aiming it towards it's head.
"Wake up." WHACK "WAKE...UP" WHACK "WAKE UP!"
"Right, sorry about that everyone. Turns out someone tried to err...insert their own story into this one. I personally took care of it. So, onwards. Next question is for Princess Luna."
"Ooh! I wonder what it'll be?" Luna muttered to herself, biting her lip in excitement.
"You look so funny when you're excited. It's from kragor123 and the question is 'Would Luna like some homemade blueberry waffles?'"
Luna looked slightly taken aback by such a friendly question. "Oh...um...yes please." A plate appeared on her table, stacked high with fresh blueberry waffles. Luna hesitantly levitated one up and tried a piece. Her eyes widened at the flavour and she was soon chowing down like she hadn't eaten in eons.
"You won't get another word out of her. Please proceed." Celestia said with a chuckle.
"Don't worry Pinkie, I'm sure they're not as good as yours! The next question is for...well I guess everyone. It's from Firethrower1256 and the question is 'Will there be any other characters involved in their own romance?'"
The plane was silent. No-one said a word as they were all too shocked at the question that was asked. "Come on guys, is there anyone you like in that way?" Owen asked.
"Um..."
"I err..."
"Hmm..."
Owen looked between the rest of the group. "Seriously? No-one?" He looked over to the far right. "What about you Big Mac? You like anyone in that way?"
"Eey...nnope."
"Really? Because I'm sure that Smarty Pants would beg to differ." Owen said with a grin. Big Mac's face went redder (if that was possible) as he shrunk into his seat.
"Nice one."
"I thought so. Come on, anyone else?" The rest of the group stayed silent. Owen huffed and slouched in his seat. "Alright, fair enough. Go on, next question."
"Alright, the next question is for Princess Celestia. It's from RainbowDragon and it reads 'Do you like.....BANANAS?????!!!'"
Celestia cocked her head and looked confused. "I...suppose I do. But...was that my question? Do I like bananas?"
"There's a subtle joke there somewhere, I'm sure. But no, that was a joke question. Your real one is 'What do you like to do when you have free time?'"
"Ah, that is more like it!" Celestia stated. "When I DO have some free time, I love to read. I spend hours in the Canterlot Archives reading up on a variety of books, varying from spells to archaeology to cooking! I love to spend time in the Royal Gardens, marvelling at the beauty of it all, minus one particular statue. Since Hearth's Warming, I have used Owen's gift a lot and I listen to the many pieces of music from Earth. If I had more free time, I would love to live a day or a week as a different pony. Just an ordinary citizen. Maybe one day I will."
"Sister! You can't decieve our subjects like that!" Luna scolder.
"Oh lighten up. I think it'd be funny!" Owen added.
"I agree! But that's for another day. Next question is for Twilight and it is from ExcitedReader. It reads 'You're not very good at keeping secrets are you?'"
"Oooh...that's gotta hurt." Owen mumbles.
"What do you mean I can't keep secrets well?!" Twilight shouts out
"Well, there's the whole keeping a secret when Fluttershy was modelling." Pinkie quipped.
"Yes but--"
"Then there's the time when we tried to keep Pinkie's party secret...you really struggled at that." Applejack adds.
"OK, but there isn't--
"And what about in the past few hours? You went around blurting out a secret I didn't want anyone to know." Owen finished.
"OK I GET IT!" Twilight shouts. "Sorry. OK, maybe I have trouble with keeping my mouth shut but I didn't mean it. Anyway! Who are you to ask me such a question! Author, where is the asker?!"
"Sit down Twilight, it's impossible for you to reach him..or her. We'll just move on OK?" Twilight huffed and sat back down in her seat, crossing her forelegs. "Cute. Now, next question is for Owen. These people really like you! The question is from seanderetro and it reads 'What games, books, movies etc, does Owen hate the most?'. Ooh, that's a good one!"
"OK. Strategy games really tick me off and I never want to play them again. I despise Sonic The Hedgehog 2006 for obvious reasons. Books. Now, I'm not much of a reader but I like to read information books from time to time. History, Geography, Geology. But since I arrived in Equestria, Twilight has introduced me to a whole new range of books! Daring Do is one of my favourites now. For movies, I hate anything sappy. Lovey-dovey stuff is awful. I'm more of an action and comedy lover."
"Egghead."
"Oh, I'm sorry Rainbow. Don't you read books too? I guess you must be an egghead as well." Rainbow threw her plastic cup at Owen which hit him on the head. "That's two."
"Two what?" Rainbow asked.
"Two times I'm gonna get you back. I never got you back for that prank you pulled on me when I was in the hospital. That was the second."
"Bring it on!"
"Alright you two, calm down. Save it for later. The next question is for Princess Luna again. It is from ExcitedReader again and it reads 'Have you been tested for that love potion yet?'"
"Love potion? What's that?" Owen asks.
"A potion that makes a pony fall in love with the first pony he or she sees." Luna replies.
"Oh, like Cupid's arrow, I get you. There's no way I had that right?" Owen asked with worry.
Luna leant over and put a hoof around his neck. "Not a chance. Otherwise you would be in love with Fluttershy or Twilight or even that Doctor!" she finished with a laugh.
"Oh god...that'd be terrible."
"That'd be freaking hilarious. OK, next quest...oh, last question!" The group all murmured between them. The question goes out to Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity and both the Princesses. It's from a dear friend of mine but he didn't want to give his name. The question reads 'When you first met Owen, what were your first impressions of him?'. Wow...now that is a good question. Let's start with you Twilight."
"Me? Well alright. I first met Owen in the hospital when he was injured. Upon first glance, I was fascinated by this new creature that had somehow made it to our world. I was wary at first but I gave off a happy approach. After speaking with him, I found he was a kind and gentle being and I gained a great friend from it."
Applejack stood. "Ah'll go next. When ah first lay my eyes on this here human, ah was unsure at first. After givin' him the checkover, ah knew he was a good'un. We introduced ourselves and then we had a huge party out in the barn! Best to say my view of Owen improved after a few mugs of cider!"
Rarity stood. "I remember viewing this new creature in the hospital, shortly after Twilight barged into my Boutique shouting all kinds of nonsensical words. When I approached him, I was shocked. Mortified! Such a unique creature and his fashion sense was zero! The first time we properly spoke was when he visited the Boutique and scared poor Sweetie Belle half to death. Our friendship grew from there."
"Rainbow and Pinkie?" Owen called out. Said mares both looked at him. "I think you two should say together." He said, rolling his eyes.
"Sure! We played a prank on him!" Pinkie shouted out.
"We sure did! It was so awesome!" Rainbow added. All eyes were on the two laughing mares and they both quickly simmered down. "We first spoke when he found out it was me and Pinkie who made him...you know. When I first saw him in the hospital, he looked so gross!"
"Rainbow!" Twilight scolded.
"What? It was true! He had all these cuts and bruises. Anyway, after we spoke for the first time, I realised he was just like anypony else and he was up for taking on my challenges!"
"What about you Pinkie?" Luna asked.
"When I first saw Owen I noticed he was new so I thought he had to have a 'Welcome To Ponyville' party so I started preparing his party and I made cake and muffins and cupcakes and--"
A hoof in Pinkie's mouth stopped her verbal tyrade. Rainbow's hoof. "Go on Fluttershy." she said.
Fluttershy stood up but shuffled her hooves before speaking. "Um...I was the one who found Owen. I was scared of him at first as he was big and...scary. But when I saw he was hurt, everything changed. I took him to the hospital where they healed him. The next time I saw him was um...at the Boutique where he thanked me for saving his life. He was still quite scary to me so I...I...ran away."
"Not so scary anymore am I?" Owen asked.
"Oh...no. Of course not." Fluttershy responded with a smile.
Celestia stood. "I was intrigued to learn of a new creature here in Equestria. My first thoughts were one of safety to my subjects and what dangers could this creature represent. When we first met...first impressions were not so good on Owen's behalf."
"Oh hey, come on! I can't help it if the teleportation made me vomit." Owen retorted.
Celestia laughed before continuing. "After that...scenario, we talked. Talked about his life, his world and how he found Equestria so far. From this talk, I follow Twilight's words - he was kind, friendly, generous and easily approachable. Our friendship is strong now and we are great friends."
"Go on love. Your turn." Owen said to Luna."
Luna stood and looked down at Owen. "When I first met you, I wasn't scared or skeptical. I was neutral towards you. From first glance, I could see that you harnessed no malice or anger. During that first dinner with you, Twilight and Celestia, I got to know you. All of those jokes you told us, all of the wonders of your world made me interested in you. But I still remained neutral. It wasn't until that night. That fateful night when we discovered why and how you came here. When you comforted me in my chambers and related your life story to me, I felt connected to you. There was no more neutrality." Luna took Owen's hand with her hoof. "There was genuine friendship. And look where it's lead us now."
"Sorry, e-excuse me a second..."
"Is...is he crying?" Owen asked.
"NO! No, no I'm...I'm fine. Well er...that was really informative from you all. And that was the end of the questions. I want to thank you all for answering them and I hope you enjoyed it."
"Yeah, it was great! But, just one question to you. What happens now?" Owen asked.
"Now? Now is the time when you go back to Equestria at the moment when I teleported you here. Oh, and you won't remember a thing about this. Sorry. My rules."
"What? You can't just make us forget!" Twilight retorted.
"Oh yes I can. Watch."
*SNAP* *FLASH*
In a second, the ponies and human vanished. The Author was alone again.
"Suck it Twilight. Oh man, that was good. But we have one more question. One I couldn't answer in front of them. It is from Dysons_Fear and it reads 'What drives you? What motivates you to create these awesome tales of awesomeness?'"
"What drives me? Well let's start at the beginning. When I first joined up to this site, I couldn't believe the amount of stories that had been made for My Little Pony. For a few months, I spent most of my time reading fic after fic after fic. It was when I got to one particular story that made me decide I wanted to try it. The story I read is called 'Sophistication and Betrayal by Drefsab' and it is a truly great fic.
At first, I was a bit...well...shit at writing. I constantly made mistakes and continuity errors but I plowed on. And this is what drove me - the comments, the praise, the favourites, all of it. Every single comment I receive (positive or constructive) gives me the boost to continue writing.
Motivation comes from watching the episodes. I've probably watched every episode at least three or four times now and I love every one of them. I get a lot of motivation from my friends who also read this story and offer ideas from time to time. Although, I realise that Human In Equestria fics on here are generally frowned upon but I love reading them. And to actually produce an HIE story that people actually like and read is motivation enough to keep me going. I must admit though, there were certain times when I wanted to quit but I plowed on through and am still going strong."
This has been the Q&A session. Author out."
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Unbelieveable...the story gets in the feature box for a Q&A session...
1976279 Hey, at least you finally get to see it in the feature box... If I recall, it was actually the feature box that led me to this story in the first place, so are you sure you've never seen it in said box before?
1976279
Guess Q&A's are favorited! XD
1976285 Yeah it has been there before - this is either the third or fourth time it's been in it.
1976287 Suppose so!
1976294 Well congrats. Also, for those who dislike your fic, this shall be their reward
lh6.googleusercontent.com/YNAKTv_sCsLMj-6irvk62-ulHUjclBq_RyIqjIEgbEvEsX81N8J9b5_9iT3c9HJiV1GfE1uYaxXJWXzWr577lkD_7-QJmDGpOZoAvBINgmXN-5MGO2IT
1976309 No way! There's now way that can......*checks on internet*......son of a bitch......oh well, at least I learnt something
Any question answered?
....
1976382 Seriously. If you have a question, I will answer it - just send me a PM. Even if it is lewd, rude and downright crude
So given your ratio of like-to-dislike, I'll give this a try. I expect something great from front page material. Unfortunately, some things I'm hearing coming from the comments aren't helping your cause. Time to delve.
1976392 Yeah, I've had some constructive and negative feeback near the beginning but it was my first ever time writing a fic. Thanks for giving it a chance though
1976446 Thanks very much
As you continue reading, there may be some scenes where you just think 'WTF?' but they should provide some...amusement
blogs.jwatch.org/hiv-id-observations/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/bridge-of-death-monty-python.jpg
What is the average airspeed of an unladen swallow?
1976508 What do you mean African or European Swallow?
1976624
What? Wait... OH SHI-
gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs7/3746007_o.gif
1976646 How do you know so much about Swallows? Well you have to know these things when you king you know.
1976672
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1976752
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1976846 Bah you've beaten me at British and fancy. I honestly can't find anymore. You win.
1976468
Hmmmmmm, the power to move hundreds of stars from millions of lightyears away. Shoulda've been able to wipe the floor with Celestia during the Lunar Revelion.
okay so ive just started this story, the mane character is supposed to be courted with twillight but tis a luna shipping, let me guess in my own stupidty he later on get on with either luna twi or both am i right cause im rightly confused here
1980502 Keep reading and you'll see
1980536 and so i shall already on chapter 8
1980551 You'll find out in Chapter 9 and onwards
1980577 oooooooooooo! spoilers!!
So that explains that weird dream last night... and why my head hurts...
Loved the twirage
This made me laugh.
Oh man, you actually did it.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/483/025/fb8.jpg
1992285
1992410 I had fun writing that bit
1992521 I'm glad! More comedy to come in future chapters
1992548 I said I would answer ANY question. I think I pulled that one off pretty well
HEY.... I like my name.... Needless to say i was not disappointed. You will have to do this again so i can ask better questions.
I'm glad Luna likes mai waffles.
Thanks for putting my question in the chapter.
OK IM LOVING THIS SO FAR PLEASE KEEP IT UP!
I love HIE Fics as long as the Human is believable as a character. Not an Ex-marine core martial arts expert who turns mares (or stallions if it please) into jelly with a single frigging word.
But I love this one!
1992555
Seeing as no one has posted this yet, here we go.
(I've got every movie on DVD! What is your favorite?)
1976846 ah yes I remember this. You still beat me especially seeing as my exquisite photos are no longer functional. Yes quite mmmh yes tophat tophat monocle monocle.
Wish I found this sooner, I would have asked Owen what he would do if he could absorb any magic directed at him!
3708343
Ahhh Monty Python and the holy Grail... That was a good one... And I'm American!!!
*bonk* ouch! That block hit me!!!