Good Things Come

by Sweet Tale

27. A Night With A Friend

*2 Months Later*

"Then after that...it was...oh yeah, back to the club." I scribbled it down and tapped my chin with the pencil. "Then...me and Luna began seeing each other regularly. Twice a week. Could be more if it wasn't for her royal duties."

Twilight had suggested that I keep a log of things I have done since living in Equestria. It's been six months now so this notebook was filling up. Twilight had helped me remember some of the things I had done when I first got here, such as introductions, the dinner out and so forth. I had drawn out a grid to list my past activites.

"Next line, January 14th...umm...Twilight, help me out here."

"Your pet, perhaps?" she offered, lifting her gaze from her book.

"Ah, yeah of course. Shame about that really." I wrote that down, thinking back to the day. I had a bit of trouble looking after the snake - I'd never looked after one before. After getting some hints from Fluttershy, I tried out the new ideas but the snake was a little aggressive. He actually managed to bite me one time! After more talks with the animal caretaker, we both agreed that I didn't have the right skills to look after such a creature so I glumly gave him back to Fluttershy, who praised me for trying. One day I'll try again but it's something that I won't obsess over.

"Do you ever want him back?" Twilight asked.

"Can't happen. I think Fluttershy released him back into the Everfree. Right, next week." I continued writing down my activites from the previous couple of months. Everything from Pinkie's New Year's party to helping out Applejack when she sprained her hoof. Soon enough, I was at the last week.

"I'm sure you don't need any help remembering what happened in the past seven days." she said with a smirk.

"Too right!" I began to write down the events of Winter Wrap-Up. It was one of the most bizarre, yet amazing, spectacles I had ever seen. I mean, the whole idea about it is ludicrous but it makes sense since the weather is controlled here, not like on Earth. I did offer to help out but...well, let's just say I can't ice skate and my artistic skills are absolute zero. Nearly every pony in town was helping out with the annual clean up. Ice was skated on so it could melt quicker, bird nests were constructed for the birds flying back from the south, waking all the animals from hibernation - it was a busy day. But thanks to Twilight's job as 'All-Team Organiser', everything went smoothly. I was told what happened last year and that did not sound pretty at all.

"OK. All done." I closed the notepad and set the pencil down, looking over to Twilight. "I've got work in a little bit but do you need any help around here before I go?"

"Thank you but no, I should be fine. I suppose it is a little busy with Spike being away in Canterlot but I'm sure I can manage. You do what you need to." she replied.

I walked up to Twilight and rested a hand on her shoulder. "You're too kind, you know that?" Twilight turned her head and blushed at my statement. "Don't work yourself too hard alright?"

"Oh please, when do I ever work myself too..." A questionable look from me stopped her md-sentence. "OK, maybe I do. But I won't this time!" she stated, stomping her hoof in emphasis. Rainbow had enlightened me of an incident, before I arrived here, where Twilight fretted over not sending a report to Celestia. When I heard that, it made my day.

"Good." I said with a nod. "If you do end up working too much and can't sleep, just use that spell you used on me. I'm sure that'll work." Twilight nodded at my words. I walked upstairs and went into my bedroom, undressing myself to change. I ended up putting on a navy blue t-shirt, black trousers and a light jacket.

Walking back downstairs, I glanced at the clock which read 4PM. The club opened at 6PM. "Shouldn't be a late one tonight, should be out of there by eleven. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait!" I turned around. "Don't forget that a rain storm is scheduled for tonight. Rainbow told me it would start at 11:30."

"Thanks Twilight. I'm sure I'll be back before then. See ya!" With that, I exited the library and made my way through the town. The wind was still a little cold but it the weather was gradually getting warmer every day. Even in these cold times, the club was as busy as ever. Ponies would queue outside for up to an hour to get it - all the time standing in the cold.

After a good fifteen minute walk through the town, I reached the club and walked inside, greeting the staff on my way in. All the regulars were there, except for Minute of course. It seemed strange without him there but I remember why he was there in the first place and all thoughts of him are pushed away.

"Owen! Half an hour early, I like it." said a pleased white unicorn.

"Oh hey Vinyl. Yeah, I thought I'd come sooner as Twilight's studying...again."

"That mare never takes a break does she? Hey, by the way. Can you just work on bar tonight? I'm putting Cherry through the bouncer routine."

"Sure, no problem. As long as I...we can get out of here before the rain hits, we should be alright."

"I'd imagine that everypony will do the same so it'll be a quiet night...quiet as in, you know what I mean!" she said, rolling her eyes.

I chuckled at her word stumble. "Good. Right, I'll go and stock up."

After an hour and a bit, the doors opened up and the ponies started piling in. There wasn't that many so I could see this was going to be an easy night. After working here for four months, bartending has become second nature to me. Also, sometimes Vinyl lets the staff have a sneaky drink whilst they work. Best boss ever!

---

*10:30 PM*

There were only a few ponies left now and the club started to die down. The music was a little quieter and ponies were just generally talking. There were a few on the dancefloor and there was one particular pony at the bar. One who has had...well, to say he's had a few drinks would be a huge understatement.

"And...then s-she chucked me out. W-w-why'd she do that, huh?" the unicorn stallion slurred, waving an empty bottle at me.

"Did you treat her right?" I asked sincerely.

The stallion gave me an incredulous look. "Of course!" he said, slamming his hoof on the bar. "I gave her the *urp* best years of my life and what does she do? Huh?!" He swigs the last of his beer and sets the bottle down. "Give me another."

I shook my head. "I can't. You've had way too much and I think, judging by your current state, if you have one more drink, you're gonna collapse and I'm gonna have to be the one to carry you home. And I really don't want that." I explained.

The unicorn levitated the empty bottle and held it completely immobile for at least ten seconds. "See! I can h-h-hold my drink...see what I said there? Ahaha...now give me another."

"No can do. Now go on, get yourself home before you hurt yourself." I offered with a smile.

The unicorn stood up shakily and gave me a mean look. "Fine! Then I shall take my...business elsewhere. G-good day Sir!" he said before turning around to walk away. I heard laughing from the door and saw Cherry giggling at the situation. I responded by shrugging my shoulders and laughing as well.

I turned away from the counter and went back to re-stocking the fridge with a variety of beers and alcoholic drinks. After a while, I heard someone clear their throat behind me. "Be with you in just a second!" I called out. I put the last beer away and stood up. "Sorry about that. Now, how can I help--"

*THUNK*

"ARGH!" I fell to the floor as something hard collided with my face, right between the eyes on the bridge of my nose. The pain was excrutiating. I closed my eyes and held my hands to my face to protect me from anything else but I was mainly focused on how much this hurt! I overheard shouting from in front of the bar.

"What happened here?" That was Vinyl.

"That unicorn threw a bottle at Owen!" At least Cherry can verify it.

"I did no such th-thing!" Yep, that's the drunken idiot.

"Weight! Hold him down!" I heard a few thumps. "Cherry. Go and alert a guard."

"Get off me!" Weight must have him pinned. He's good at that. I still remained on the floor, wincing from the pain. A couple of hooves were felt on my side.

"Owen, are you alright?" I shook my head slowly and hissed as another wave of pain hit me. "Come on big guy, sit up for me." I did so and rested my head on the fridge behind me. "Take your hands down a second."

I did so and opened my eyes. Vinyl had discarded her shades and was looking over my face with concern. "How does it look?"

"Where did it hit you?"

"Right here." I pointed to the section of my face. "Right between my eyes, on the bridge of my nose." I felt around the hit area and it did hurt a bit. Feeling the bones, I could tell that nothing was broken. "Nothing's broken."

"How do you know that?" she asked with confusion.

"I've broken my nose before. Got in a fight..." Vinyl laughed softly and shook her head. "How does it look?"

"Looks a bit red but there's no cuts. You OK to stand?" She offered her hoof to help me up which I accepted, pulling myself off the floor. "Well look at you! Attacked by a bottle and still standing...even smiling!"

I didn't realise I was smiling. "It's because you helped me. You stopped the attacker and then came straight to me. Thank you."

Before we continued talking, Cherry walked in with a guard. The guard walked over to us and looked at the unicorn on the ground. "Is this the perpetrator?"

"Sure is! He attacked one of my employees after he refused to serve him." Vinyl explained, motioning towards me.

"And why would you not serve him?" the guard asked.

"Because he was too drunk. I felt obligated to stop him from drinking himself unconscious." The guard walked up to me and examined my face. "You can see where the bottle hit me."

The guard nodded and walked over to where Weight had the unicorn pinned. "I will take him from here." Weight lifted the unicorn up, who had since fallen asleep. The guard took him out of the door and that was the last we heard of them.

"Never a dull moment with you around, eh?" Vinyl said, jabbing my side with her hoof.

"Let's just hope that future events are happy ones then."

"How are you feeling?" she asks with a hint of concern.

"To be honest, I'm alright. Just a little headache. I'm still good to work."

Vinyl gave me a questionable look. "Only if you're sure."

"It's no problem. It's only another half hour anyway."

"Alright then. Just let me know if you need anything." Vinyl walked away, back to her mixing deck. She began to turn everything off as all of the ponies had left, following the fiasco.

I went back to work cleaning the bar and helping where it was needed. I got a few more 'Are you alright?' from Cherry and Weight but I explained I was fine.

After a while, Vinyl gathered us up. "Great work tonight guys." Vinyl looked at me. "Sorry about your little incident."

"There's no need for you to apologise. Besides, it was that fu--"

*CRACK* *BOOM*

"Holy sh...." The sudden lightning and thunder caught us all off guard. "Wait...aw no! No, no, no!" I ran to the window and peeked outside. Sure enough, it was..."Raining. What time is it?"

"11:45." Cherry answered.

I leant my head against the window frame. "Damn it. Twilight told me there was a storm tonight. Now I'm gonna get soaked."

"You and everyone else. Right everypony, gather up your things and let's get outta here." Vinyl instructed. We all went to the back room to collect coats, umbrellas, bags and so forth. I put on my coat and hat and shook my head at the impending run home.

We all walked back to the front door and walked out, with Vinyl locking it behind us. She looked around to see the immense downpour that was in motion. The noise was incredible. "Good luck everypony! Goodnight!" she said, before running off into the rain.

I looked at the others who were staring at the rain. "Well, might as well get it over and done with. See ya later!" I called as I ran out of the shelter and into the torrential rain. It was horrible. The rain was cold, the ground was muddy and my clothes were getting filthy and soggy.

'If I run, I can get home in about five minutes.'

That was all the motivation I needed. I continued running through the town, getting soaked throughout. After about five minutes of running, the library came into view. With my destination, in view, I picked up the pace and before I knew it, I was at the front door. I turned the handle and pushed but the door wouldn't budge.

"Huh, she locked it. Guess she decided to sleep after all." I put my hand in my pocket to get out my key....only to stumble across a small problem. "OK, where is it?" I started frantically searching for my key in every pocket of my clothing, with it still getting more and more wet as the rain continued to pour. "COME ON! WHERE IS IT?" I started to try and think about where it could be after not finding it in my pocket.

"It's not here and it's not there, then...oh no." My bedside table. I hammered on the door. "TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT, LET ME IN!" I kept banging but she never came down. "TWILIGHT! TWI...damn it! She used that spell! Me and my fucking big mouth!" I cursed out loud.

Knowing that the library was impenetrable, I knew I had to find somewhere else to try and stay for the night. The closest resident would be Pinkie. I ran back out towards the centre of town. By now, my clothes had soaked through and it was making me shiver. Continuing my run, now slowed to a jog, I soon came across Sugarcube Corner. I reached the door and raised my fist to knock but stopped.

Did I really want to wake up Mr and Mrs Cake and Pinkie Pie just so I can find a place to sleep for the night? They run this place all day so they must be worn out by the end of it. My good senses stopped me from knocking and I set off towards another building.

'I know she would say yes but I can't wake up Pinkie Pie. She'd never go back to sleep!'

Thinking of who was next closest, and most likely to let me in, I immediately thought of the perfect pony. I started jogging again, this time towards the outskirts of town. Jogging up a hill, over a small bridge and down a winding path, I soon came across the small cottage. I stopped to catch my breath and raised my fist, knocking it on the door three times.

No answer. I knocked again, louder this time. "Fluttershy! If you're in there, please answer the door! It's Owen!" Still no answer. Another flash of lightning and a crack of thunder sounded loudly which scared the living crap out of me. I started hammering on the door. "FLUTTERSHY! PLEASE!"

Still nothing. Knowing it was pointless and that I had probably scared her beyond her limit, I slowly began to walk back towards the small bridge. Maybe I can shelter under there for the--

"Owen?"

Oh, that sweet, sweet voice of an angel. I turned back around to see Fluttershy standing in her doorway in a nightgown. Must admit, she looked cuter than usual. I walked back to her and sighed heavily.

"Sorry for waking you but I'm locked out of the library and I have nowhere to stay. Would it be alright if I slept on your sofa for tonight?"

Fluttershy shuffled her hooves a little before looking back up to me. "OK...please wipe your feet." she said quietly. Salvation! I slowly walked in, wiping my feet as instructed, before closing the door behind me. The warmth of her home quickly gave me a hot flush. I heard Fluttershy gasp as she looked me over. "Oh my! How long have you been out there?"

"About half an hour." I said, spitting some water out of my mouth which had dripped down from my hair. She took to the air and began to take off my coat.

"Let me take that for you. You must be so cold!" she exclaimed. I took off my coat and she gladly took it, hanging it up over her window. She then noticed that the rest of me was soaked through. "Wait right there." She flew out of the room and I was left standing there, dripping water all over her floor. I kind of felt guilty that I had woken her and made a mess. She returned to the room and grabbed my hand with her hoof. "Come with me."

She led me through her hallway towards a room at the end. Getting closer, I could hear water running. Walking into the room, I saw that it was a bathroom and her bathtub was filling with hot water and foam. "The best cure for being out in the rain is a nice hot bath."

"You sure?" She gave me a bit of a stare. "OK. I believe you. Just...don't use that stare, it's a bit...scary."

She giggled and handed me a large towel, before leaving the bathroom. The tub had filled up quickly so I turned it off and felt the temperature. Undressing myself, I grimaced at how my clothes came off. They stuck to my skin and they were freezing cold. Finally naked, I stepped into the bath and sat down. Oh, how nice it was. Even though the bath was too big for me, I managed to sit down in it with my knees bent.

The thunder and lightning boomed and flashed outside as the storm raged on. None of that mattered now. I was lost in the tranquility of this beautifully warm embrace with water. I soaked myself in the warm water, also scrubbing myself with some of the various shampoos and soaps that Fluttershy had around her bathtub.

Soon enough, I got out of the bath and dried myself. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I exited the bathroom with the pile of wet clothes. Walking back into the living, I caught my breath at the sight before me. Fluttershy had set out a bed for me by combining her two sofas into a kind of couch-bed. She had lit her fireplace and set up a clothes line near it. She saw my clothes flew to me, taking them off me and then she started hanging them up!

"Fluttershy, you don't need to do that. I can do it." I walked up to help her but she stopped me with her hoof.

"It's OK. I don't mind. How was your bath?" she asked with a smile.

"You were right. I feel much better." I looked at the bed again and thought how generous she has been. "Thanks again Fluttershy. I really appreciate this."

A blush appeared on her cheeks as she finished hanging up the last piece of clothing. "Oh it's nothing, really...I, um..."

I walked up to where she was hovering and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you." She returned the hug at full strength. I really like having her has a friend, she's always helpful, kind and caring. She broke the hug and looked at the makeshift bed.

"Will this be comfortable for you?"

"Let's find out." I sat down on the sofas and lay down on them, putting myself under the covers. "Oh, ohhhh. Yes, this'll be fine." I sat up and saw Fluttershy laughing.

"You're funny." she said, slowing her laughter down. "I can make you a hot drink...if you want one that is..."

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly ask you to--"

"It's not a problem. I'll join you if you have one."

"Then sure. That'll be great." She took off into the kitchen. I couldn't believe how kind she was being. She soon returned with a tray in her mouth. On those trays sat two mugs of steaming brown liquid. I took the tray from her mouth and set it down. I took one mug and she took the other. She looked around for a seat but noticed I was laying on them both.

"I'll just...sit here." she said, landing on the wooden floor, sitting down on it.

I shook my head and patted the side next to me. "Nonsense. Come and sit up here." She looked a bit uneasy. "I don't bite, I promise." I said, holding up my hand.

She giggled and gingerly stepped up onto the makeshift bed, sitting herself down next to me. I took a sip of what I thought would be tea but was caught off guard by a sweet drink. "Mmm...nice hot chocolate."

She took a sip herself and nodded in agreement. "Rarity bought me this from Canterlot. She said it was the best around."

"Well I have to agree with her." I took another sip and leant back, reaching my arm around Fluttershy's shoulders and bringing her close to me. "You don't have to stay up for me. You can go back to bed if you want."

She looked where my hand was and then back at me, before scooching herself closer and resting her head on my arm. "I know. It's just...I don't normally get visitors and it's nice when I do."

*CRACK* *BOOM*

"EEP!" Fluttershy quickly cowered at the sound of the thunder and huddled closer to me. I kept my arm around her.

"You OK?" She raised her head again and looked around carefully. "I used to be scared of storms as well. When I was younger I was petrified of them. Now I just see them as a light show." I say with a smile, which in turn causes her to smile at me. A couple more flashes show causing Fluttershy to duck for the impending thunder. It didn't come. "Huh, strange. Maybe the storm's dying down."

We stayed that way for a while. Fluttershy kept herself low to avoid being startled by the flashes. I remained sat up, relaxing in the makeshift bed.

"You know, I'm glad I came here. I was thinking about asking Pinkie but I didn't want to wake the Cakes. Also, I think she would have kept me up all night. And she would have never treated me like you did. Well, maybe, I don't know. She confuses me that girl. Do you ever understand all the crazy things she does?"

No reply.

"Fluttershy?" I looked down to see she had fallen asleep, using the side of my chest as a pillow. I fought the urge to wake her and let her sleep. "I wonder why you haven't got a partner. You'd be perfect for anyone. Kind, caring and friendly as hell." I got light snores as a reply. I chuckled and gently lay down, trying not to move Fluttershy. As I got myself comfortable, Fluttershy shuffled her body and moved her head onto the top of my chest, with her front legs dangling over me. "Guess I'll be your pillow for tonight then. I owe you that I suppose." I yawned quietly and lay my head back down. "Goodnight."

---

Morning came too quickly. Then again, I didn't go to sleep until around one-ish. Waking up, I was a bit disorientated as my bedroom didn't look the same. A small shuffle from my side revealed that Fluttershy was sleeping next to me, curled up in my arm. Not knowing what time it was, I set my head back down and relaxed in the bed. I tell you something, I never knew sofas could be comfortable. I yawned loudly which caused Fluttershy to stir.

"Mmm..." she groaned as she stretched. She raised her head and opened her eyes. "Hmm? This isn't my bedroom."

"Morning." I casually said. She sharply turned her head to look at the source of the voice and her eyes widened.

"Um...good morning." She looked around, noticing the still burning fire and my clothes hanging up. "Did you sleep well?"

"Sure did. The sofa was amazingly comfy. Did you?"

"Um...yes. Why am I sleeping in here though?"

I chuckled and sat up. "You made some hot chocolate last night and we sat and talked for a while. You fell asleep, using my chest as a pillow. You looked so peaceful so I didn't want to disturb you."

"Oh, well...thank you." She stood up and gently descended from the bed before walking over to my clothes and giving them a feel. "All dry. Sorry they're not clean."

"There's no need to apologise. I can't thank you enough for helping me out last night." I said, slowly getting out of the bed, holding the towel against my private region. "I'll just get dressed, I'll help you clean up and I'll be out of your hair."

"Oh, you don't need to clean. I can do it..."

I held a hand up to stop her. "I insist. It's the least I can do to repay you." Fluttershy nodded and smiled before she left the room to give me some privacy. I gave the clothes a feel over and she was right, they were completely dry. Thank you fire. I quickly got dressed and the heat of the clothes immediately warmed me up. I folded up the covers from the bed and set them down neatly, before moving the sofas back to their original positions. I walked into the kitchen to see Fluttershy chopping up some vegetables.

"I've cleaned up in there and put your sofas back. Did you need any help in here?"

"Oh no. I have everything under control. Um...Angel doesn't like it when other ponies prepare his food." she said meekly as I felt a tap on my leg. Looking down, I saw said rabbit giving me a stare. He nodded his head at me and hopped away. "See? He agrees."

"Well then, if you're absolutely sure you don't need any help, I guess I'll head back to the library. Twilight's probably wondering where I've got to."

"Oh I'm sure, thank you. Um...give my best to Twilight."

"I will do. Thanks again!" I said as I opened up her front door and walked out. Outside, the extent of the storm was visible. Large puddles were everywhere and many trees and bushes' leaves had been blown off. I started my walk back towards the library. I still could not believe that I forgot my key. But at least I had a friend to count on.

I reached the library and knocked on the door three times. It opened almost instantaneously, revealing a worried looking Twilight.

"There you are!" She looked over my trousers which were covered in dried dirt and mud. "What happened to you?"

I walked in and she shut the door behind me. "Long story short - I forgot my key and couldn't get in last night. I managed to sleep at Fluttershy's last night."

"Why didn't you knock? I could have let you in."

"Did you use that spell on yourself?" She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it as she remember what she did. "That's why. Did you sleep alright?"

"Um...yeah." she said, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. "How did you get Fluttershy to open the door in the middle of the night?"

"I kept banging and banging on her door. I gave up and walked away but she called me back. I'm glad she did because she did so many kind things for me. She ran me a bath, made up a bed for me on her sofa, hung up my clothes to dry and made me a hot drink."

"Well she is the Element of Kindness." Twilight stated.

"Indeed she is. You know, it was quite cute." I chuckled. "She sat with me whilst we drank our hot chocolates and ended up falling asleep on my chest." Twilight laughed softly. "But anyway, she told me to say hi to you from her."

"That's nice of her. I'll make us some breakfast." She began to walk away but stopped abruptly. "Oh. A scroll arrived for you this morning." she said, levitating a sealed scroll to me.

"Thanks." I began to unroll it. "From Celestia or Luna maybe...Luna's got the gem so it's probably Celestia." I began to read.

Dear Owen,

I have come across a spell which may be of some use to you. I will come to Ponyville tomorrow afternoon to inform you of it.

Yours Faithfully
Princess Celestia

P.S. Luna knows you're hiding her favourite quill. Hide it well!

"Oh bugger." I snorted and laughed at Celestia's extra message.

"What's wrong?" Twilight asked.

"Luna knows I've hidden her favourite quill. I've got to find another place to hide it!" I said, trying not to laugh.

"Why would you do that?"

"Payback. She hid my Ipod from me for three weeks as a joke. Now it's my turn." Twilight shook her head and walked back into the kitchen. "Oh, and Celestia said she's coming here tomorrow afternoon."

*SMASH*

"Think you dropped something."

Comments

[RainbowDragon]

DAT ENDING

[DrakeDragon13]

My night just got brighter with the posting of this chapter.

[Tardis of Dr Whooves]

hoh mah! Twilight= PANIC MODE ACTIVATED!

[Chaotic Mind]

"Oh, and Celestia said she's coming here tomorrow afternoon."

*SMASH*

"Think you dropped something."

You have no idea how many times I've been in Owen's position here...

[Sweet Tale]

1714546>>1714882>>1714999 Glad you liked it!

1715493 Happened to me quite recently. One of my friends being the sarcastic prat that he is.

[Seraph973]

Hope that usefull spell isn't one that turns him into a pony. That would really ruin the story. At least in my opinion.

[Kazigami]

What is it with ponies in HiE stories using us as pillows I mean come on it getting annoying 1723372 honestly I do not mind either way either way it can open up an whole new world of story plots or stay on the same track so...

[Vates Despero]

Even though the bath was too big for me, I managed to sit down in it with my knees bent.

That bit in red? Yeah, that would mean the tub was too small. Not sure where in there the mistake is though, logically a pony bathtub should be bigger. However you have shat all over logical progression at several points in this story so it could go either way, you gave Fluttershy a small tub and mistyped or erroneously thought that a extra large bathtub would be a problem. (it wouldn't be, it would be very nice in fact)

[Fire Angel]

HOW IS FLUTTERSHY CHOPPING VEGETABLES!?!?!?!?

[BioChemicalWolfGear]

Ok now I realized why I left in the first place. And I want you to know this too so in the future you don't make this mistake. I favorited because I liked the idea of another HiE fic to read. And I kinda wanted to see more improvement to be honest. I saw that improvement early on but it still needed something. Now I'm back by...god knows how long later :/

Anyway advice time!

I've noticed in nearly all the chapters you have here, you've skipped major events. The pet snake thing is so significant that it could make or break your story! You literally passed up over 3 chapters worth of shenanigans with dealing with a disobedient snake that would be entertaining to read, and allow you to continue to think of the progression of your story while you write those chapters.

You've done ok so far, but up till now (Because I haven't read future chapters) you've been running off of cliché's and things you remember in other stories. Don't get me wrong, you have original idea's that are interesting here, but you fell back on things that everyone else is doing.

Keep in mind that if I'm ever wrong with what I say, it's because I haven't reread anything I only read three chapters after reading a lot of this story a long time ago and unfavoriting until recently.

But the parts where you skip details, or summarize important events such as the getting a pet (still don't know if you did this earlier on in a chapter) are put downs to what a great story this could be. I really like this story, but I can't keep myself hooked long enough to have the patience for the rushed chapters and scenarios.

I'd also like to hear dialog where there was only mentioning of it. Such as times when you say things like "Celestia ordered the guards out of the throne room." That in itself makes it slightly boring, and I can tell you right now, that dialog is the most entertaining part of a story, especially when it directly effects the main character.

I could go on...but I'm listening to an epic song and I've got some writing of my own to do. So I guess I'm heading off :D Good luck to you!

I was going to leave you with a rhyme...but how about a song instead?

[Buckshot2825]

"I wonder why you haven't got a partner. You'd be perfect for anyone. Kind, caring and friendly as hell."

HOW DARE YOU INSULT FLUTTERSHY

[doctor_n]

At the end twilight be like "excuse me while I pick my face up off the floor after I tripped."

[Railroad Brony]

Even though the bath was too big for me, I managed to sit down in it with my knees bent.

If the bathtub was too big, then he should not have to have his knees bent. I think this should be "too small"

clothes flew to me

There should be a comma after "clothes".

[ultrasolarflare]

lol I can only imagine why something smashed when the news of celestia coming tomorrow was told.

[AdmiralPopeyesBeard]

2051494

Holding a knife in her wing-hands.

[Buchernov2012]

Even though the bath was too big for me, I managed to sit down in it with my knees bent.
Why would you need to bend your knees if the bath is too big?