23 - Baked Bads
Twilight Sparkle - 6th of Solar Dusk, 1st year of Harmony
749,573.29
GA Chebureki, Stellar Orbit -- Gruis, Aurigae Sector
Twilight stared at the bulkhead in front of her, her eyes looking past the metal as she recalled the exact nature of the spell she cast on the damned world she had left behind.
What did I do? I can’t remember any of the matrix. I can’t remember the frequency. All I can remember is… The bodies…
Twilight sniffled and did her best to push everything out of her mind and focus on the spell she had somehow cast upon the entire world. The raw power afforded to her by her alien biology was terrifying.
It’s like the fabric of reality is cardboard. I wasn’t even trying to do whatever that was.
Twilight winced as the image of a hundred half eaten corpses burst out from under the floorboards and advanced on her. Their moans were almost sexual. The stench, unspeakable and unforgettable.
Zuul winced from across the cabin. “I can see some of that… Do you want to share the memory?”
Twilight shook her head. “No. I need to find out what I did. I need to not do it again, at least… Not if I don’t need too.”
Zuul nodded, stood up and trotted over to Twilight, giving her a quick side hug. “I understand completely. It’s why I stopped using magic myself. Well, aside from transformation.”
Twilight blinked and turned to face the alien mare. “You can use magic?”
“Of course. I am magic. A stray consciousness bound to a species. Why wouldn’t I be able to tap into the universe itself for power?” Zuul asked with a smirk, which almost immediately became a frown. “Unfortunately… There is a problem with trying to cast a spell when you are a… Network of millions. My world had two moons once. I accidentally flung one into the sun trying to wave hello to a passing vessel.”
Twilight flinched, her wings flicking slightly. “Wait, so, because I’m connected to you, I shouldn’t cast spells?”
Zuul shook her head. “No, I felt nothing while you were down there… Other than terror.”
Twilight nodded and stared off at the bulkhead for another long moment. Her ears perked after a moment and she turned to Zuul. “Did you feel the aura of the spell I cast?”
Zuul nodded. “Yes. it was…” She tapped her hoof against the deck. “Rage.”
Twilight sighed. “Can you describe it as anything other than an emotion? I was too scared to feel it prop—”
Twilight stopped mid sentence and facehooved. “Oh, Celestia... Can you send me the memory?”
Zuul smiled and pushed the memory down their shared link. “Of course.”
Twilight closed her eyes and began to let the memory playback. She could feel the spell as she wove it. Its rippling matrix was turbulent, like a stormy sea. A dark and undulating energy sat within its center. Almost as if she had—
Twilight squeaked, her lips pulling back in a sharp wince. “OH, BUCK!”
Zuul’s ears perked in interest even as she took a half step back. “What is it?”
“I called on dark magic and just flung a completely random necromancy matrix at the planet.”
“That can’t be good.”
“It’s not,” Twilight sighed, her shoulders slumping. “It means I don't have full control over my magic. I’ll have to redo some basic foal-grade lessons to—”
Zuul flashed Twilight an irritated look and put a hoof over her mouth. “You lost control while being attacked by the corpses of one of your best friends in the home of a cannibal and sadist. Anyone would lose control there.”
Twilight bit her lip, then her face fell. “M— Maybe. But what if I lose control like that again?”
“Do you plan on going to the home of another of the galaxy's most wanted men?” Zuul asked with a snort. “I know you, Twilight. You’ll be fine.”
Twilight kept her eyes closed for a few moments. She opened them and turned to face Zuul. “You say you would have lost control there too. What would you have done?”
Zuul winced and tapped her hooves together. “P— Promise you won't tell anyone?”
Twilight rolled her lips in thought then nodded.
“I…” Zuul paused to collect the right words. “I would have eaten them all to use their biomass to replicate enough times to kill them all.”
Twilight winced. “E— Eaten them?”
“I’m a carnivore, Twilight. I don’t waste meat.”
“That’s fair,” Twilight sighed.
Twilight was about to ask another question when the Chebreki’s intercom crackled to life and the Captain’s voice barked a dire warning. “All hands, an unknown vessel has pulled alongside us. Our weapons are offline. We cannot bring weapons online without shutting down the Surf Drive. We have four minutes till FTL. Prepare to repel boarders!”
Twilight took a deep breath as a wave of anger washed through her. “Seriously?”
Zuul raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t anticipate a predator pursuing wounded prey?”
Twilight turned to her cabin’s screen and with a few quick taps of her hoof brought up a view of the unknown vessel.
The ship was shaped like an arrow with the point clipped off. It had two engines mounted on nacelles which were located halfway down each wing. The nacelles tapered to a point at the front of the ship so they formed a pair of spear-points right where the nose flattened out.
Unfortunately, the damaged sensors couldn’t show the ship’s color, presenting only a black and white image. One which was heavily distorted by the near-lightspeed space of the two ships as well as heavy shadows cast by the Chebureki itself upon the small vessel.
Twilight triple blinked as she took in the familiar looking ship. “Wait, what?” She giggled and shook her head. “Okay, I know this is dangerous, but that looks just like Buck Spear’s Thunderhawk. What are the odds?”
Zuul squinted at the black and white image and hummed. “It’s a geometric design. I think it must be fairly common.”
Twilight hummed then nodded. “True. Too bad I can't see what color it is. If it was gray with a red stripe maybe we’d get lucky and it totally is Buck’s ship… Well, at least a ship that small can’t possibly fit more than a dozen people in it. I think we’ll be—”
The ship on the monitor turned slightly, angling to fly alongside the Chebreki’s own flight path. The shadows slid along its hull, revealing a cloud and lightning bolt symbol that Twilight of course recognized instantaneously.
Her jaw dropped. “Wait, what?! But that’s Rainbow’s cutie mark—”
The intercom crackled again, this time carrying not DJ’s voice, but Rainbow’s. “Uh, hi. Sorry no one told me what you’re supposed to say over a radio to talk to another ship. This is Rainbow, though I think most of you will probably call me Blue. Long story short, I found a ship and I’m here to pick up Twilight and Pinkie because we need to do a thing. Don’t worry about docking or parking or... Uh, whatever you do. I got this!”
Twilight’s pupils shrank in horror as she pictured the angular ship plunging nose first into the Chebreki’s damaged hull like an arrow into a dragon's heart. All while Rainbow sang ‘This is the best plan!’
Then the ship vanished from her screen. Twilight’s wings flared in alarm. A flash of bright light made the shadows in the room jump, and a blindingly bright arcane aura caused Twilight’s arcane scenes to white out.
“AAAA! WHAT THE BUCK?!” Twilight demanded as she closed her eyes to block out the magical noise.
A reflexive action, since it’s a unicorn's horn that senses magical auras.
“I found a super old ship that’s a bracelet, that’s— Rainbow began only to squeak as her eyes fell upon the shark-toothed pony-like creature standing next to Twilight “WHAT THE BUCK!?”
Zuul raised a hoof in greeting. “Hello. I’m her special somepony.”
Rainbow blinked and tilted her head. “Huh?”
Twilight opened her eyes slowly, desperately wishing she could look directly at Rainbow, but the aura around her was painfully bright. “Long story. Turns out I like predators, okay? Now whatever you’re doing to shine like that, STOP IT!”
Rainbow looked down at her barrel. “I’m not shining?”
“Your leg! The thing on your leg! Turn it off!” Twilight begged as she shielded her face with a hoof.
Rainbow facehooved. “Right! Unicorn…” Her voice trailed off as she noticed the wings on Twilight’s back. “Uhhhh… what happened to—”
“She almost died so I made her a new body and stitched her old head and spine onto it,” Zuul answered helpful. “She asked for wings.”
Twilight took a deep breath and pointed at the tiny sun on Rainbow’s foreleg. “LIGHT! STOP NOW, PLEASE!”
Rainbow blushed and rubbed the back of her head with her bracelet clad leg. “Oh! Right! Uh… Faust? How do I—” Rainbow paused for half a second, as if she were listening to someone's angry snap. “Yeah well, I wouldn’t have to ask what this can do if I had a manual! Yeesh…”
Zuul and Twilight exchanged a brief look.
<Looks like it’s not just you and I who share a mental link,> Zuul remarked.
Twilight simply nodded in reply.
Rainbow took a deep breath and grit her teeth for a moment. “Well how was I supposed to know I just think ‘open manual’?! I don’t use god-tier items all the time, you know! And why was the aura-shield even off in the first place? That’s a stupid default setting!”
The glow around Rainbow’s leg faded, making the room once again bearable for Twilight who sighed in relief. “Thank, Celestia… What even IS that thing?” Twilight asked as she jabbed a hoof at Rainbow’s bracelet.
Rainbow smirked. “Oh this? It’s a starship.”
Twilight nodded slowly. “Okay. That would explain why the aura was painfully bright.”
Rainbow frowned. “You’re not impressed?”
Twilight shook her head. “No… Today isn’t a day for being impressed, Rainbow. You have no idea what I just went through to save Pinkie I—” Twilight closed her eyes and went silent as she did her best to keep the memories out.
Zuul cleared her throat. “It was… Bad.”
Rainbow frowned and trotted forwards to give Twilight a friendly hug. “You okay?”
Twilight shook her head. “No… I think I will be later. But not for a while. Probably not a long while.”
Rainbow’s frown deepened, her wings twitched nervously across her back. “Uh… Too nervous to fire the Elements?”
Twilight’s eyes snapped open. She reached out, grabbing Rainbow by her shoulders. “What’s wrong? Why do we need to use the elements? Did Discord break free when the pirates took us?!”
Rainbow shook her head. “No! But uh, funny thing… See, this bracelet-ship-thing uses magic based on the same idea as the elements, and um…” Rainbow took a deep breath. “Short version, my turning this on woke up a whole bunch of demons who want to blow up our planet because reasons, and I figure if the elements can stop Discord they can stop some demons because well, he was basically a god, right? We need to—”
Twilight let go of Rainbow and sighed in relief. “Oh thank Celestia! Just save the world. That I can handle. That’s normal!”
Rainbow blushed slightly. “I uh… That’s quite a mood swing. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m not okay,” Twilight said casually. “But saving Equestria will help me be okay. It’s a good thing. I’m a good pony. I can do that!”
Rainbow pursed her lips and looked over to Zuul. “What happened?”
Zuul’s eyes darted between Rainbow and Twilight for a moment as the alien mare tried to make up her mind. “Well… She accidentally necromancyed a planet. Because it was full of zombies and criminals of unspeakable evil.”
Twilight shot Zuul a hurt glare. <She’s not going to just be okay that I—>
Rainbow nodded. “Oh. Yeah I can see how that would mess her up.” She turned to look Twilight in the eye. “Twi? If it’s any consolation, Default said he was going to evict the people who took Pinkie anyways. Since uh, he’s not restricted by treaty now that I broke it and all.”
“I have zero context for any of that,” Twilight grumbled, her tail flicking irritably.
“Oh, right,” Rainbow closed her eyes and projected a hologram for Twilight and Zuul to see.
The screen showed the SYS Admin come out of a wormhole in orbit around a planet, eat it, then fire it through a smaller wormhole into intergalactic space.
“That’s Default. He really didn’t like the pirates that kidnapped you. Apparently they kept ‘unplugging my god damned internet’. That was their homeworld.” Dash summarized.
Twilight stared blankly at the hologram, her mane and tail standing upright in pure terror. A small squeak escaped her lips.
Zuul on the other hoof broke out into a huge grin. “Now that was truly awesome. In the modern and classical scenes of the word too!”
“Nothing should be that big!” Twilight whispered as a shiver racked her body.
“I’m not that big,” Default murmured through the open comm link he had played the video back for Rainbow through.
Twilight’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. AAAAAAAAAAA! It can hear me!
“I uh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! At least, not in a bad way!” Twilight yelped, staring at Rainbow’s bracelet in fear.
“You grew up on a way bigger ship. I can park in it,” Default pointed out.
“Uh, no?” Twilight said slowly.
Rainbow cleared her throat. “Y— Yeah, about that… We’re going to need to re-write history books. Cuz uh, we didn’t evolve. We were made by ancient lonely aliens who wanted friends and our whole solar system is actually one of their ships.”
Twilight blinked. “What?”
Rainbow adjusted the hologram to show Equus, and more importantly highlight the presently offline arcane structures which would cover the entire star system into a single intergalactic capable vessel.
“Exactly what I said,” Rainbow grunted.
Twilight stared at the screen. The spell was incomprehensibly vast and complex, but her unparalleled mind saw that not only was the spell sound, but also refined, elegant, and clearly the result of wizards who created such things very frequently as nothing else could explain the wondrously well engineered state of the spell she was looking at.
Twilight laughed once then passed out.
Rainbow Dash - 6th of Solar Dusk, 1st year of Harmony
749,573.29
GA Chebureki, Stellar Orbit -- Gruis, Aurigae Sector
“Twilight!”
Rainbow’s wings flared as Twilight fell face first to the deck. She jumped forwards, catching her before she hit the floor.
Zuul stepped over to the two and gently pushed Twilight upright while sending the mare a few mental probes designed to bring her back to consciousness.
“I’m sorry,” Rainbow said as she gently kept Twilight upright. “I didn’t think you’d pass out if you saw that. I thought you would think it was cool.”
Twilight stirred, shaking herself slowly as she came back to consciousness. “Ow… head,” she whimpered, her eyes firmly shut.
Rainbow eeped and leaned back to check Twilight’s eyes for any sign of a concussion. “I’m sorry! Did you hit your horn on me? I didn’t notice. I’ve got shields up and stuff so—”
Twilight shook her head and moaned. “No… No… I just…”
Twilight took a deep breath, her wings flapped slightly. “That. Is a incompre— It’s a big spell. Really big. Bigger than anything big!”
Rainbow gave Twilight a shaky smile. “Uh… No?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “NO!? How can you say no?! What can be bigger than a star system turned into a ship?”
Default cleared his throat, still remaining but a voice for the moment. “Well, there’s the shelter we made to dock over six hundred ships of that scale.”
Twilight blinked once then sat down as swiftly as her body would let her. “I’m going to just, sit here for a bit,” she murmured.
Rainbow bit her lip. “Um, unfortunately we don’t have much time…” She looked down at her foreleg, wishing Default would provide a video feed for her too look at. “Since you’re talking again, I take it you’ve got Rarity and Fluttershy?”
“I do,” Default reported. “Ra—”
The ship’s intercom hummed, interrupting their conversation with an announcement indicating the FTL jump had been completed and the ship was now enroute to a repair dock.
Default sighed in irritation at the interruption, wondering briefly why the ship didn’t quietly alert everyone via a telepathic notification. “As I was saying, Rarity refused to leave without her house. So, I’m carrying an extra planet right now. Don’t worry, I can slot this right into your star system in a nice orbit without messing anything up.”
Twilight raised a hoof. “Carrying a planet?”
“Yes. I’m a construction ship. I can build custom planets, as well as transport them to the desired property.” Default reported in the same way one might say they were a pizza delivery boy.
Twilight nodded twice before fixing her eyes on Rainbow’s bracelet. “Mhm… Mhm… And you also said that Rarity owns an entire motherbucking planet?! HOW?! WHY?!”
Rainbow sighed. “Uh, well… Almost everypony sort of lucked into— I mean…”
Rainbow looked down at her bracelet and transitioned into AI time. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “How do I explain to her that while she was stranded alone on an alien planet and fighting zombie criminals that Rarity became a stupid-lots-of-money-heir, Fluttershy was having the time of her kinky little life, and I uh.. Well, sort of wound up on a reality show? You know, without her getting very angry.”
Faust appeared in Rainbow’s field of view, her holographic mane looking a bit more well groomed than it had before. “Be honest, just not that blunt.”
“What’s with your mane?” Default asked with an odd sound to his voice.
Faust blushed and tapped her hooves together. “I’m watching your security footage.”
“And?” Default said.
Rainbow frowned. “Wait, why are you letting her see you right now and not me?”
Default sighed. “Okay, look… Fluttershy is… Obviously an unstable mare. She was in the middle of well, you know what she was up to right?”
Rainbow nodded.
“Do you really want to see her sobbing and begging someone who talked her into half a dozen different transformations and lots of stuff she wouldn’t normally do via emotional manipulation, then tossed her aside, to take her back?”
Rainbow felt a flame of pure rage well up in her heart. She clenched her teeth, not noticing her ship-enhanced strength forcing her teeth together so tightly her shields sparked. “No… But I want to see if I can fire a photon torpedo at a person sized target!”
Faust placed a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “It’s alright, Rainbow. I am going to fix this.”
“How? By giving that jerk a lecture then firing her into the sun?” Rainbow growled, her wings flaring as her rage built on itself. “Sure, Shy’s weird, but she’s also, well, her! Just because she likes a relationship which—”
Faust gently pushed Rainbow’s wings back against her sides. “Rainbow, it’s okay. She needs someone who is… Like minded. I’m going to go over there and give her anything she needs.”
Rainbow blinked. “Wait, like… You also like that kind of—”
Faust shook her head. “No. I don’t. But she is a very pretty mare in emotional distress and the simplest solution to ensuring she can do her part of our plan is to give her what was taken away. A loving and dominant partner.”
“That is not okay!” Default and Rainbow shouted in unison.
Faust tilted her head to one side. “Why not?”
“Because you don't like that kind of stuff!” Rainbow snapped, her eyes narrowing to slits. “It’s not okay to give her everything then take it away!”
“Yeah! That’s a huge violation of our ethics programming!” Default exclaimed his voice wavering slightly. “Are you okay? Do you need any hardware repairs? Because otherwise what the hell is wrong with you?”
Faust gave the two a deadpan stare. “Uh, guys? I’m authorised to make organic constructs. I’m just going to go calm her down, interview her, and make a partner custom tailored to her exact needs. A biodroid programmed to love someone is… Perhaps a little unethical but I can’t think of a better solution to this very immediate and time sensitive problem other than deleting her memories. Which I can’t do even with her permission. I would need a doctor’s note.”
Rainbow squirmed in place, eventually taking a hissing breath. “I mean… Yeah but it’s still not—”
Faust shot Rainbow a look so deadly serious it made her take a step back. “You said these elements took a thousand years to locate new bearers. Fluttershy is unable to provide her activation key right now. Do you know an alternative bearer for Kindness? We do not have very much more time.”
Default sighed. “Well shit, she’s got a point there.”
Rainbow nodded slowly. “Yeah… She does. Okay fine. Do it, but like, as not-evil as you can.”
“I will,” Faust promised, her eyes softening as she acknowledged Rainbow’s concerns. “Default, let me know if Pinkie requires any similar assistance. I don’t imagine she’ll be okay.”
“Will do,” Default acknowledged. “Rainbow, you need to resolve this conversation so we can pick everyone up and move to stage two.”
Rainbow nodded and swapped back to real time. She cleared her throat and look up at Twilight.
Twilight blinked, her eyes widening. “You just instantly changed your facial expression. How did you do that?”
Rainbow snorted. At least this one is easy. “I can use this bracelet to work at computer speeds. I asked Default how to explain things best… So uh… Rarity was bought buy a super rich guy who freed her. She’s been fine this whole time. Fluttershy was bought by someone we needs a kick in the face, to be used as a sex toy… I mean, you know Shy. She was okay with that. But not being tossed aside like she was just now.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Okay. Someone needs a slap and a lecture… Also, are you telling me that everypony but Pinkie and I had fun this whole time?”
“Buck no,” Rainbow siad with a shake of her head. “AJ was in a gladiator ring. That’s not really what matters though. What matters is I need to take you and Pinkie back home right now so we can get the elements.”
Zuul frowned, the corners of her mouth parting to show her teeth. “There is a problem, Pinkie is… Injured. Badly.”
Rainbow looked down at her bracelet. “Is that a problem, or can I do medical stuff with this?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem,” Default replied with a chipper tone. “If one of you could display a ship’s map while Rainbow gives me access to her teleporter system, I’ll transport you directly there.”
Twilight took a quick breath and began tapping at her room’s screen to pull up a map. Her wounds had been easily healed. Her body regenerated on its own. She’d simply had to eat a lot of palamini. Pinkie was in much more dire straits.
“Pinkie is… Poisoned. We can’t take her out of stasis for long and the medics here have no idea what to do to counteract the poison,” Twilight explained as she finally brought the ship’s map up. “We’re here, and the medical bay is here.”
The instant Twilight’s hoof touched the map Default initiated the transport. The three vanished in a flash of light, appearing in the medbay with a bright white flourish of sparks that sent three medics running out of the room while screaming about overloading power conduits.
Rainbow watched the three sprint past two surgical beds and endless wall mounted screens and out the doors with a smirk on her face. “Heh! I’ll have to remember that can happen when I teleport.”
Twilight cleared her throat, drawing Rainbow’s attention to a stasis field projector which had been placed in the center of the room. The field held Pinkie, weightless, curled up, frozen in a look of extreme pain and anguish.
Rainbow felt a wave of disgust well up in her as she trotted forwards to place a hoof on the side of the field, wishing she could give Pinkie a hug. What the buck happened to her to make her like this? Whatever Twilight did with that necromancy, it wasn't’ enough.
Twilight trotted over to the med bay’s intercom and pressed the button down with her hoof. “Twilight to Bridge: There’s no power surge in the med bay. I teleported. Rainbow has arrived with um… Unknowably powerful magic. We’re going to try to heal Pinkie.”
A male voice crackled through the speaker. “Understood. Lieutenant, cancel the engineering team. Have them go back to fixing the dorsal struts.”
Rainbow looked down at the field projector. “So, Default. I turn this off, then what do I do?”
“Stick your hoof on her and let me work the tech,” the AGI answered.
Rainbow nodded and began to inspect the stasis generator case, searching for any kind of switch.
“You tap it twice,” Twilight instructed.
Rainbow tapped the small silver oval twice and the field flickered, fizzled, then flicked out of existence after lowering Pinkie to the floor.
Pinkie moaned and squirmed in place. The tears which had been frozen on her face began to flow down her cheeks, and low murmured whimpers filled the air.
Rainbow reached out and set a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder. The party pony was burning up inside. Rainbow flinched. It’s like she has a fever. A really really bad fever.
“Default? Are you—”
“Working on it… Hang on…” Default murmured. “Okay, that’s what it is. Give me a second to lock onto all of it… Okay, Dash? Look around for an empty bottle will you?”
Rainbow frowned, unsure why that would be helpful. A quick look around the medbay revealed an empty glass beaker on the countertop next to the door.
“There’s a beaker on the—”
“Yep! I see it, you’ve been streaming video this whole time. NOPONY drink this, okay?”
Rainbow’s bracelet flashed white. A wave of shimmering silver energy ran down Rainbow’s leg into Pinkie. It rippled across her body, making her fur glisten and sparkle. As the wave swept over her, a grayish-green yellow-flecked liquid flowed into the beaker from dozens of blood-vessel sized portals.
The wave reached Pinkie’s tail tip and vanished. The liquid stopped just under the top of the beaker. Twilight looked at the vessel full of transmuted blood and sludge, suppressed the urge to vomit, and carefully levitated it into the closest biohazard disposal bin.
Pinkie squirmed under Rainbow’s hoof. Her burning temperature was rapidly decreasing. Rainbow bent down and gently wrapped Pinkie in a hug. “Pinkie? Can you hear me? It’s okay now.”
Twilight vanished in a flash of lavender light, appearing next to Rainbow so she came out of her teleport hugging Pinkie as well. “You’re safe Pinkie. We’re going home now, okay?”
Pinkie’s eyes fluttered open. “It’s not okay…” She whispered.
Rainbow felt her heart break in two. What could they possibly have done to her to break—
Pinkie sniffled and wrapped her friends in a hug so tight Rainbow’s shields flickered with static around Pinkie’s grip. The party pony wipered and looked up into her friend’s eyes. “He— He liked to… Make you upset. Because flavor.”
Rainbow’s left eye twitched. She turned to look at Twilight. “This guy was going to eat her?!”
Twilight nodded. “Yes.”
Pinkie nodded. “Yeah… That’s okay. Everyone needs to eat.”
Her tone and serious expression made it perfectly clear that Pinkie truly didn’t care that someone had been planning to eat her.
Rainbow, Twilight, Zuul, and Default paused for a long moment then all asked. “What, what?”
Pinkie hugged her friends tighter. “I— Everyone has to eat. He eats meat. I didn’t want to be, but… No pony wants to die. But we all do. I don’t mind what happens after… So what if something eats me after.”
Twilight bit her lip, deciding to never tell Pinkie that she wouldn’t have been eaten after she had died.
Pinkie sniffled and let go of her friends, her ears and mane hung limply. “N--No, the… Flavoring wasn’t okay… That’s all.”
Rainbow felt something deep inside her snap. Whatever had been done to Pinkie to make her feel this way would be returned on her tormentors a thousand fold. Assuming Twilight had not killed them already.
“What did they do to you, Pinkie?” Rainbow asked, her calm voice and rage filled eyes making everyone in the room but Pinkie flinch.
“Read my mind…” Pinkie murmured. “Found the worst thing… Then make you do it.”
Twilight gently hugged Pinkie to her barrel. “Do you want to tell us? So we can help?”
Pinkie nodded. “He— He made me make choco-chunk-sugar-cookies! But wrong!”
Everypony blinked. “What?”
“Everything… Everything was a substitute. But the wrong substitute!” Pinkie whimpered, her ears laying limp atop her head as tears flooded her eyes. “Instead of all-purpose flour, cornmeal. Instead of milk, dehydrated skim milk! Instead of eggs, chia seeds. All the chocolate was carob, and— and— and—”
Pinkie threw herself to the deck and began to sob. “Instead of sugar I used aspartame!”
Zuul and Default spent several agonizingly long moments trying to figure out how this was torture and what to say to not make the situation worse. Twilight and Rainbow instantly tackled Pinkie to hug her as hard as they could while babbling about how everything was okay now and she could make them the right way as soon as they got home.
Pinkie returned their hugs, continuing to cry.
Default twiddled his digital hooves nervously then cleared his throat. “Um, I may be able to help.”
Rainbow opened her mouth to tell Default they needed a minute, but Pinkie reached up, gently took Rainbow’s foreleg and turned it so she could look at the bracelet. “You can, mystery-voice?”
Rainbow smiled slightly. Seems like she’s not too broken. Good!
“This is Default,” Rainbow introduced. “He’s nice… But a little scary once you know how big he is.”
“How big?” Pinkie asked slowly.
“Big enough where if it would help, you and I could make one of those cookies as big as a whole continent,” Default replied.
Rainbow snorted. “Please, I’ve seen that cargo bay. You fit a planet in it!”
Pinkie’s ears instantly perked. “A planet?”
“Yeah, but I don’t have that much organic mass stored for synthesizing—”
Pinkie twisted Rainbow’s leg to stare directly into the glowing gem. The manic look in her eyes burned almost as brightly as the artificial star trapped within the stone.
“Planet. Sized. COOKIE!” Pinkie exclaimed, her mane immediately poofing up to its normal volume.
Default cleared his throat. “Well, I guess I could do a matter-energy conversion. So, yeah! Sure! If it makes you feel better, and if we can put it in orbit around a random planet that’s in the process of evolving sentient life.”
Pinkie gasped and covered her moulth with her hooves as she broke out into a huge smile. “We’ll give them a cookie moon!”
Default laughed. “We should do a planetary ring of milk to go with it.” The AGI paused for a heartbet then hummed. “Should we fabricate a cosmic sized blender and stuff to do this, or—”
“YES!” Pinkie shouted as she hugged Rainbow's bracelet. “Dashie, you make the best friends!”
Rainbow sighed and slowly shook her head. “You know, with anypony else, this wouldn’t have worked.”
Twilight nodded. “Yep.”
Zuul raised a hoof. “I have several questions.”
“As do I!” Default announced. “Pinkie, you're the fun kind of insane, right? I’m not trying to be mean. I want to know if you’d be interested in watching a Rube Goldberg machine I made to kick a gas giant into a black hole. There’s a bit where I made this little cosmic train that uses an asteroid belt as the rails.”
Twilight blinked and cleared her throat. “I’d like to see that, actually.”
Pinkie let go of Rainbow’s leg and smiled. “So would I! But after the cookie… And also after the save the galaxy thing we need to do.”
Default quickly checked his memory logs. “Wait, but, we didn’t tell you about—”
Twilight gently placed a hoof on Rainbow’s bracelet. “Default, it’s Pinkie. Trust me, don’t think about it.”
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That bit with Shy and Faust is really disturbing on the moral scale, but needs must and all that
That planet is going to have the weirdest mythology ever, I can see it already
Cosmic scale Goldberg machine. Damn that must be cool. Shame they have to worry about saving the galaxy, for now.
Pinkies Back.
Why moon sized chocolate cookies?
Because Milky Way Galaxy.
Of course, you know this means the demons havent a clue whats heading their way.
Im waiting to see what Default does when Pinkie does the 7 leg thing and the three people ladder carry, and the kitchen swing door cake bake for an order thets just going to be made etc.
If Pinkie was brought up on the rock farm, can she check that gem out, or would Maud have to Observe it to make Default very uncomfortable?
Bringing Rarities planet along? Talk about always packing far too much luggage for a short trip.
I think you meant whimpered.
That's not good.
Hey, it could work, she's got a really fancy ship, you know.
Maybe after Twilight wakes up she'll be in a better state.
Damn, so it didn't go well for Fluttershy after all.
Well good news, Dash. Twilight has that handled in spades.
Huh.
Well, I guess if Pinkie has come out the other side of whatever that was.
The ending was so Pinkie Pie! It made me laugh so hard and long that it made me cry! I am still laughing as I write this comment.
Guess some planet really will have a moon made of food stuffs
that is not a nice way to go
Soo, you started with a Darkhallow, and then just let Them decide what they wanted to do with the situation? Fair enough.
Charles, glad to see you made it.
After some thought and considering Defaults sense of humor wonders if some planet doesn't have a moon made out of green cheese
Corpse of your best friend, is that what happened to robot pinkie?
THANK YOU!
I sware the Necrons are going to show up at this rate
I can just see how this all happened:
D: "Are you ready yet miss Rarity?"
R: "Just about darling, I simply can't leave some of these things, not to mention how other ponies would benefit from some of this."
D: "Miss Rarity, if you wish to bring that much, I could simply pack the entire planet and place it around Terra once the demon threat is over."
R: "You can do that?"
D: "Yes, I can and have moved planets before."
R: "Then yes darling, let us be off and take this wonderful place with us."
*Planet noming sounds*
Poor Default has no idea what he is in for, fate help him if he tells her when his birthday is and how many she hasn't celebrated yet
9358270
Corpses, plural. Meaning several partially eaten Pinkies.
Yeah, I kinda figured she'd do that.
That this was it admittedly brings a smile to my face, even though I probably shouldn't because I'm sure this was a quite traumatic experience for Pinkie...but that's probably why. Of all the worst possible things it could've been, for Pinkie, it was merely this.
And then this is all that's needed to fix it.
Aw, Pinkie...never change.
Question though...what happened to Pinkie's robot double? I was kinda wanting to know what happened to her, and I don't think she's reappeared since her initial introduction unless I missed or have forgotten something...
9358860
I... forgot to mention that. Her HDD is currently in V1X's pocket.
As for Pinkie. It's Pinkie. She asked nicely for her torment to be funny and her slaps hurt so, you know.
9364440
That suggests something happened to the robot the HDD goes to, and for me, that just raises more questions. I mean, it's not too hard to guess what happened, but...
Look, I really took to AI Pinkie, so I've been looking forward to her sticking around, and I haven't been getting anything of her the past few chapters.
Somehow, I can see that happening very easily...
Uhhhh... Okay... At least it's not objectively bad...
Did... Did she just confuse an AI?! One that's cracked enough to make a orbital dessert?
Also, please explain what happened on that planet Twilight blew up? We're kinda missing a lot there.
Ouch. Poor Fluttershy. I kinda expected that, but still...
9357340
All of the above, really.
UNS Korevo
Unknown sector, Multiverse MLP/413697/KJ786F
6th of Solar Dusk, 1st year of Harmony
749,573.37
"What's our status?"
Silas Blunt straightened up from the tactical console he was observing and turned to face Captain Stanley. "All systems fully operational captain. We are closing on the planetary system and should drop out of Translight in about two hours."
"Good. Now I want to drop out of translight in the outer rim of the system, so we can observe what's going on for the moment without anyone being too interested in us." Stanley leaned over the console as Blunt pulled up a map of the system.
"I think in that case, my suggestion would be about here - halfway between the orbits of the 8th and 9th planet. There's a small group of large asteroid fragments nearby and a thin asteroid belt about two orbits in which gives us some options for cover. There's activity on some of the outer planets which look like minor colonies but nothing immediately nearby, so most shipping in that area's either minor local traffic or on deceleration/acceleration from the main tourist spot around here." Blunt focused the map on one planet in particular "Planet number 5, surface 98% ocean, M class environment, S3.4 atmosphere. There's a sizable space station in mid - orbit, and a number of industrial facilities on the surface."
"What kind of facilities?"
"Looks to me like refineries of some sort - possibly heavy water to fuel their reactors. The station definitely looks like a commercial complex rather than purely for leisure or trade. Most of the ships we've seen there so far have been cargo vessels."
Stanley nodded. "Might be the Tavros Station mentioned in one of the earlier chapters, may be somewhere else completely. There's no way to know until we can obtain map data for this multiverse. How are we coming with the comm protocols?"
Blunt grimaced. "It's slow work. They might all be speaking English for all we know but their com systems are all based on designs sufficiently different from ours. We can hear their frequencies but without knowing how they break the information down into transmissions we can't understand what's being said. It's like trying to tune into a TV signal which uses a completely format to build the picture. But..." Blunt changed the display to focus in on an area of space away from the water world, near the 6th planet of the system. "We do have another idea about that."
"Go on."
"We're pretty sure there's a subspace network operating throughout this region, possibly galactic in range. All of the ships encountered so far have been using it and all have been using similar transmission modes, so it must be a common protocol system. We've traced some of the transmissions to what we think is a relay station here - possibly a network hub like our own subspace relay platforms. This thing is pretty ancient from what our scans say, but it's definitely in contact with both local ships and other sources outside of the system - probably more relay platforms."
Stanley nodded "Makes sense. What's your idea?"
"Well - we were thinking, we have standard handshake and 1st contact protocol messages programmed into our system, we just need to find someone to send it to who would make sense of it, the idea being they can then talk to us and tell us how to interpret their signals properly. So we were thinking why not just transmit those to this relay station and see if it repeats it on it's network?"
"Do you think it'll work?"
Blunt rubbed his temple in thought "Well, It's an automated station - so either it'll ignore it completely as background noise or a corrupted transmission, or it'll recognize it as a signal it can't understand. What it would do next though is hard to tell, but I suspect that someone will see the signal at some point. Either from the relay just broadcasting the signal across the network, or more likely - if you think about it - what do machines often do when they don't understand something?"
"Of course...They call someone to sort it out."
"Right. So if the relay receives a new signal it can't read, it might send the transmission to someone living - maybe a System Administrator or something - who would realize something's trying to contact it..."
"...and they'll find the translation matrix in the message. Good plan. Prepare a suitable message and include our standard hailing protocols and frequencies. I'll compose a short message to include and send it to you. Start transmitting as soon as we are in range, and we'll see what happens."
"Yes sir." Blunt turned away from the tactical station and hurried up to the Comm station on the command deck.
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Hello. You are being hailed by the UNS Korevo - an Arabasque Class Patrol Frigate of the United Nations Peace and Enforcement Agency (UNPEA) of Planet Earth Space Fleet.
We are on a mission of peace from another Multiverse parallel to your own space time continuum.
If you are receiving this message please respond on this frequency or on a frequency between 8 to 50GHz
The information below is a standard translation matrix detailing how to decode our standard com signals and the proper encryption and format for reply transmissions.
<<Translation Matrix and Communication Protocols >>
Further message text:
Greetings. I am Captain Mathias Stanley, Commander of the United Nations Peace and Enforcement Agency (UNPEA) Frigate UNS Korevo. I have been instructed to make initial contact with you on an important matter.
The United Nations Peace and Enforcement Agency, commonly known as the Blue Wolf Fleet, has recently received what amounts to a distress call from a planet in an area we believe you refer to as the K3 sector. The distress call stated that they have come under attack from privateers and some of their citizens were forcibly removed from their planet and have been subjected to severe mistreatment. We also understand that the leader of this planet has requested military aid to repel the pirates.
Our Fleet's primary mission is to protect the rights and freedoms of either the people of Planet Earth and it's colonies in our home Universe or anyone we encounter who have insufficient or no defenses against an active aggressor, subject to the rules and principles of the Arthuro Charter on which the Blue Wolf Fleet was founded. I have therefore been instructed to inform you that the Command organization of the Blue Wolf Fleet has taken a very dim view of the above situation and have put a response in operation to provide military aid to the victim planet (known as Equus or Equestria).
We therefore request that you contact us immediately regarding appropriate channels for contacting either the government of Equestria or it's allies, or forward our request to them without further delay. We also would like to discuss a peaceful exchange of information regarding navigation in your universe and common protocols and procedures regarding communication and information sharing etc, which we can exchange for similar information from our universe and also a limited amount of unclassified technology.
We look forward to your reply.
End of Message.
Data Packet follows:
End of Transmission.
9366637
I wont ever fully explain it, as it would loose some of the terror, but you will get a piece of the puzzle soon.
Finally caught up, and I gotta say, I'm enjoying it. There are quite a few grammar issues in pretty much every chapter, but the world and story is too compelling to care.
Can't wait for more
9381064 That's annoying... I have an editor >.>
9381991
I don't want to talk bad about your editor, but it doesn't seem they're very experienced. I'm terrible with grammar and spelling, but what I've seen is pretty obvious.
Mostly it looks like typing errors, like hitting the wrong key (a few cases of 'ot' instead of 'or') or hitting space a fraction of a second too quickly and having the last letter of a word at the beginning of the next. Also a few that look like spell check mistakes.
In the chapter where you introduce
DanaZuul's pony(ish) form, you describe him as having a horn and in the very next paragraph specify that there is no horn.9382676 ... Okay yeah. 1. I need to put in more effort. 2. I need to either make my editor pay more attention or get a new one.
9382753
It happens. Maybe you can try what I do. Every time you fill a page, read back over it before continuing. That way you aren't having to read an entire chapter at a time and you can spot continuity errors before they can really cause issues.
9382758
Doesn't work for me. #AutisumIssues. My brain knows what it should be and will ignore errors in the text.
9382832
Well, damn. Then the only advice I can give is get a second editor. There's a group here just for that. A few, in fact.
Well poop, 'hiatus' so close to a climax.
9382832
That's not really an autism issue, that's just a writing issue. The problem is that your brain knows what "ought" to be there and sort of elides what is actually there. Happens to everyone.
9382832
Subconsciously filling in /glossing over typos and minor grammar errors because you know what you meant happens to normies too, both in writing and in speaking. It's the main reasons one of the common tips for practicing oral presentations is to record yourself and play it back; it happens a lot less when you're listening to a recording.
That's weird, i think this is the first time you dropped a story so close to the climax like that Meep, what's up?
9469342 I altered a large chunk of story line to fit with fan request, and that bothered me, due to how much plot I had to re-do. Furthermore, I was very very stressed IRL for other reasons. Most importantly I was finding it nearly impossible to do the story's core idea... "What if a story was one single long shark jump?"
In short, a clusterfuck happened. I was having real mental problems trying to continue this, and after three friends told me I should do something else, I listened to their advice.
I DO know how to end this though, and might do so in a week or so.
9469925
Ah yeah, that would do it.
The only thing i can tell you is: readers like me may have ideas and think it's pure brilliance, but it's usually a complete piece of shite, that'll look like a rotten, beached whale in practice.
Most of us come to read your stories, not what some people think should be your story, so take your time man and do it your way.
9469969 To be fair, wanting to see what would happen to some of the kidnapped characters is a valid request... I wanted it to be off screen to let your mind do the horror better >.> That said, a certain character wasn't supposed to live and now has.
I mean, she has a point...
wasn't
Ah, well then. I'm caught up. I think I missed your blogs specifically related to this fic, Meep, cause potential spoilers I guess? They were a while ago anyway.
Thank you for writing this. It is a work of art and I love it. If your muse ever looks this way again, I will be as excited as a lot of people get about Star Wars. If not, don't worry. Don't think about it too hard, it's Pinkie, is a really good concept to end a story on. Especially hilarious, given the context, and who is being told to not think about it.
I still hope you will finish this one.
It just sits there, begging for the ending.
10124482 You know what? I should.
10949340
This is one of these silly stories that's actually really great.
11105370 Thank you. I try to make most of my work exactly that :3
11105431
Hey Meep, how much longer is this story gonna be On-Hiatus?
Also, do you remember a user by the name of Willight Robinbine? If so, then that was my 2nd account here that was hacked in April of last year. I'm now using this account(aka my 1st account here) for my main account.
I'll give this story a read some other time.
11616094 Not sure.
11616887
Okay, just wondering.
11616961 I know a lot of people love this, and I know how it is meant to end. And it's not even that far from the end I'd intended.
The problem is back when season 5 happened, Starlight Glimmer getting a face turn without any punishment at all despite doing things that IRL would have had her executed anywhere the death penalty exists and the majority of the fandom being like "Oh it's fine she's a psychopathic killer with a Joker Tier insane person motivation because she's cute!" just... killed my love of the series and setting. It also made me feel unwelcome in the fandom in general because clearly, the fandom did not align with my morals or ethics.
However, recently, thanks to reading The Night is Passing and seeing Glimmer based stuff starting to die down... I might come back.
11616987
*nodded* I liked that.