I Can't Work Like This
“I can see a rainbow, in your tears as they fall down…” Songbird Serenade serenaded her closing song to the cheers of thousands of excited ponies (and she hoped, a few captivated Oscar judges.)
The credits rolled, as the Canterlot celebration went off without a hitch! Well, unless you consider an invasion to be a hitch.
“Great job, girls,” Twilight Sparkle said to her five friends. “I almost forgot what friendship meant, but thankfully you five were there to remind me!”
“Awesome! Remember how I got those pirates to be pirates again? By singing a song, of course!” Rainbow boasted.
“I had so much fun with those seaponies! Just one small thing, one small thing,” Pinkie reminisced about her song.
“Yeah, and I…” Applejack started. “Wait a gosh darn minute. What exactly did I do, again? I know I didn’t sing a song.”
“Um…” Rarity started. “You helped me, darling, with the… uh, the thing. Hmm. Come to think of it, I can’t recall what I did, either? Nor what song I sang, other than the ones all six of us took part in.”
“Well, I was going to use the Stare on that Seapony Queen to get her to give us the pearl, but… I couldn’t find the time,” said Fluttershy. “Everypony else got in the way.”
“Everypony else? Don’t you mean, these three?” said Applejack, pointing an accusing hoof at Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle’s jaw dropped. “Me? But I had an important lesson to learn about how stealing a national treasure is wrong! Or, wait, was it that I always should trust in my friends? I think I already knew that one, though.”
“You snooze, you lose!” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Sorry that you three don’t know any cool tricks like the SONIC RAINBOOM!”
“Yeah! Or that you’re not super duper hyper like me!”
“Shut up, Jar Jar Pinks,” said Rarity. “Your humor on our adventure was only funny to the most childish of babies.”
Pinkie gasped. “You take that backsie wacksie!”
“You’ve been spendin’ too much time with those Cake twins, I reckon,” Applejack scoffed. “It’s made your jokes into silly, stupid nonsense! Rainbow Dash, your Sonic Rainboom almost got us all captured. You ain’t never been that reckless before.”
Twilight Sparkle scoffed. “I can’t work like this. I’m going back to my trailer!”
“Us too!” Rainbow Dash shouted, zipping off towards Twilight’s trailer.
Pinkie said something uncharacteristically mean, too.
After the mane three left, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity departed for Rarity’s trailer.
“Oh, my goodness, I need a cigarette,” said Rarity, floating a Mareboro Smooth 100 from her purse and magically lighting it with her horn. Yes, she actually can do magic beyond simple telekinesis, thank you for remembering season one.
“I need one, too,” said Fluttershy.
“But you don’t smoke,” said Applejack. “It reminds you of snorin' dragons, remember?”
“Well today, I do. I’m so mad, that I could… that I could… blow that smoke right out of my ears like steam!”
“You mean you’re able to display emotions other than meekness, and doing things other than saying ‘yay’ and cowering? I’d almost forgotten,” said Rarity, floating a cigarette into Fluttershy’s mouth.
“Cough! Cough!” Fluttershy wheezed. “Of course. I'm a terrific actress. Those other three just sucked up all the air in the room! I kind of have a Jekcolt and Hyde thing usually, though.”
“It’s a darn shame you didn’t get to use your angry side and go ballistic on those baddies we tussled with,” said Applejack, popping open a bottle of Applejack Daniels and taking a swig.
Rarity chuckled. “Applejack, everypony knows that you’re not really country. You’re an actress from Trottingham!”
“Darn it, I’ll stay in character until the DVD commentary is over!” said Applejack, stealing a joke from another movie as she took another swig from her bottle. "Lord knows I didn't stay in character on our adventure. I coulda lassoed us all to safety when we were fallin' from that pirate ship, but of course Twilight had to do all the rope-tyin' stuff. 'Cause she's an alicorn princess."
“I just can’t believe that I didn’t get to sing,” Fluttershy lamented. “I have a lovely singing voice and I was going to sing about kindness and helping your fellow pony to those seaponies…”
“But then Pinkie and Twilight stole your thunder!” Rarity scoffed, practically spitting out the two mares’ names. "Remember those mean, greedy creatures in the marketplace when we were looking for the Hippo Queen? The ones who wanted to buy and sell us? I was going to give them all a stern lecture about generosity and how to clean up their filthy, polluted town, but a certain cat who wasn't Opal decided to butt in!"
“They screwed us worse than a sch… a squeaky bolt on a barn door!” Applejack slurred through her drinking.
The door to the trailer popped open, as a certain cat on the prowl was looking for some after-credits equine "action", if you know what I mean.
“Hey, good lookin’, what’s cookin’?” said the tall tabby cat, the dapper Capper. Admit it, you already forgot his name.
“Get the heck on outta here!” Applejack shouted, throwing her now-empty bottle at the cat. But with his (actor's) cat-like reflexes, he dodged it, and it smashed to bits on the mirror with those little lights around it. You know the ones; they're in actors' trailers.
“What’d I do?” he asked innocently.
“Well, you tried to sell us into slavery, for one,” Rarity remarked.
Capper removed his cat mask, revealing a human head. "Hey, I didn't even do that! We're all just actors, remember? I'm just some kid fresh outta the human world, trying to pay his way through Canterlot Community College by acting!"
“Worse than the slavery thing, you stole our thunder!” Fluttershy shouted.
“You and y’all… them piratesh… I think y’all had more lines during our advenshure than the three of us combined!”
Capper's actor shrugged. “Then you need to fire your agents, ponies.”
He ducked out just before Applejack threw a makeup kit at him. It, too, hit the mirror, now broken.
“That’s seven years of bad luck, you know,” said Fluttershy.
“Seven years, or seven seasons?” Applejack lamented, drowning her head in her hooves. “Y’all all get to learn lessons and go ‘round, become princesses, open up new stores, become a wonderbolt, and what do I get? Still buckin’ apples at the farm!”
“We’re getting a bit off track, dear. Let’s stick to our most recent adventure,” said Rarity.
“Oh, right.”
The door to the trailer opened once more, and in walked Starlight Glimmer.
“Hey, guys. Man, I don’t know what came over me! It’s like I forgot that I could teleport when the Storm King arrived. Then I forgot that I had super powerful magic after that, and I ended up in chains with the rest of the ponies and didn’t even break them with a beam or something. At first I thought they couldn't afford the special effect, but then I saw all the other scenes. Hey, Rarity, can I bum a smoke?”
“Shut up, Starlight!” Fluttershy shouted.
“You ain’t one of us!” Applejack yelled.
“Indeed. You get all the glory during our more regular adventures,” Rarity scoffed. “You know what the only good thing was about this whole mess of a movie?”
The three of them shouted in unison, “You weren’t in it!”
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Gotta disagree when it comes to Rarity. Besides having some of the funniest lines in the movie it was her selfless act of generosity that causes Capper to have a change of heart.
I see all these people complaining that not enough characters got the spotlight, that the movie skipped out many others, and that we didn't see locations like Ponyville or the Crystal Empire or whatever. Jesus, do bronies want this movie to be 3 hours long?
8481423 That would be fucking amazing. Could you imagine the bricks Denis Villeneuve would shit if he found out Blade Runner 2049 was still fifteen minutes shorter than the MLP movie?
Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one who thought this!
8481443
Yeah, that would be pretty cool.
*snerk* applejack, and her applejack daniels. that got a good chuckle out of me in general here.
8481409
She just fixed his shirt... how is an action like that supposed to convert someone like him?
8482012
It was that she was willing to help him without expecting something in return, it inspired him. He's not a bad guy he was just in a rough position.
8482043
It's still a heel face turn no matter which way you slice it. And Rarity's conversion of Capper was ultimately rendered pointless by Rainbow Dash performing a Sonic Rainboom, thus alerting Tempest to their location.
8482073
It still led to Capper helping them in the end.
8482087
Because the trailer is the entire movie...
8482080
And all he did was use Spike as a flamethrower. ANYPONY could have done that. And he didn't contribute to the final confrontation. Actually the ponies' allies pretty much sat there and watched as that happened.
8482093
'Tis as CellSpex says:
"Trailers ruin everything!"
They got very little screen time and lines, but I still loved AJ and Fluttershy's scenes. Applejack realizing she really was raised in a barn, and Fluttershy empathizing an enemy minion into submission, were both fantastic.
8482188
That AJ line was probably my favorite comedic moment.
8482218 That or Rarity collapsing in a heap. But AJ's line wasn't spoiled by the trailer...
8482237
You have a point there, because I absolutely loved Rarity’s bit in the trailer. Only she could get away with saying “I cannot even.”
8482096
Capper, the parrot pirates, and Skystar all contributed to the plan to get into Canterlot. The actual confrontation with the Storm King was between him and the ponies, as was appropriate. They all served a purpose.
8482087
Most people look at the Mane 6 as a collective force instead of individual characters. Whether that excuses AJ’s and Flutters’ lack of significance depends on who you ask.
8482616
They wouldn't even have needed them to get into Canterlot if they just went to Thorax, Ember, and/or Discord for help. In fact, none of the events in the movie would have happened if they remembered those three existed and two of them were leaders of their entire races.
*tastes the air*
Must be by the ocean, cause it's pretty fuckin' salty here, cap!
This would come off as really petty if you didn't make the whole thing so comically ridiculous. I approve.
8482660
Keep in mind that the movie started production during season 5, before Ember and Thorax were even things. As for Discord, we can just assume he was uncontactable for whatever reason, but irl the issue is twofold: 1. Booking DeLancie. 2. Keeping things simple for the sake of non-fans. Especially the latter, because getting them to accept the various powers the pony races have is enough of a hurdle by itself; asking them to roll along with Discord might be too much.
8484202
So? Starlight was still a villain in season 5 and yet her post season 5 self still makes a cameo. Not to mention DHX plan things out way ahead in advance (that doesn't automatically make the show good though). What's your point?
8484218
First of all, you just answered your own question: she had a cameo. No speaking lines whatsoever. She was never included in the script because Meghan and the other writers never knew what was going to happen with her down the road. Hell, she was probably a last-minute addition during post-production.
And no, DHX doesn't plan things out. You would mean to say the writers plan things out in advance, and no, that's not true either. I would love for them to do so, to adopt the typical anime production style, but us fans can only wish.
8484233
They still had plenty of time to work around the seasons. Hell, a passing mention of why they aren't in the movie would have been good enough for me.
8484258
Not really. They had the script locked down very early on, meaning they couldn’t make any significant changes by the time season 6 rolled in. Besides, it was likely a conscious decision not to give Starlight a prominent role, anyway.
And again, they needed to keep things simple for non-fans, meaning they can’t make mention of characters that won’t show up just for the sake of pleasing us.
Wow
8485167
Let's agree to disagree, alright?
8485189
Whatever.
These three didn't do much outside of Rarity fixing Capper's shirt and Fluttershy talking with one of the Storm King's Troopers (which was funny). Good work.
You can has review!