The Author's Note on The Pony Of Vengeance
When I first started writing The Pony Of Vengeance, I intended for it to be the most violent, longest-running, and most rewarding detective-and-criminal fanfic on the Internet, filled with deep investigations, hardened criminals, twisting cases, arms shipments, suspicious glances, furious accusations, stuttering denials, scowls, grunts of consternation, violent interrogations, corrupt politicians, and saloons of hard cider. It would be about the hard-boiled Case File, the bumbling Dr. Brainstem, and the doggedly resolute Mane Six making their way through a labyrinth of political corruption, leading all the way to the kingpin of crime, Ironheart, with a troubled past catching up to him at last.
I failed in every conceivable way.
In a way, that's discouraging, but also, in a way, that's simply a way of saying that you just don't know how a finished product will turn out. It started out with my intent for it to be a mystery story, but it actually warped into something akin to a comic book--complete with onomatopoeia and weirdly overpowered action scenes.
I was intending on giving Dr. Brainstem and Case File a larger part of the story, but of course, that didn't happen. I wanted to give the mystery a bigger part of the story's focus in the beginning, but it would have only been filler, and nobody wants filler.
I also wanted to further develop other antagonistic and neutral characters like Kevin the griffon, Amadeus, the police commissioner, and Flitter Gust. But those characters are really just extras. And I think it's a good thing that I didn't give more time to them. The focus of the story needed to be elsewhere.
The main focus of the story is on an argument between morality. Ironheart is on one side, the Mane Six is on the other, and the fate of millions lies in the balance. A fairly reasonable and compelling plot. But there's much, much more beneath the surface.
It's a discussion of evil. Evil is the main part of this work of fiction. But this is not a novel that glorifies evil or chooses to enact evil. This is a work of fiction that denounces evil by talking about what forms it takes, why people want to believe it, and what people believe as a result of accepting evil thoughts. This is intended to show the people that have this problem in real life a better option than the cold, villian-like mindset Ironheart possesses.
My depiction of evil does not mean I advocate it. Let me repeat this; The depiction of evil does not neccesarily advocate it.
Although, even though I was raised a devout Christian, I once believed Ironheart's actions were justified.
When I was younger and more impassioned, trapped inside elementary school, I looked around me at all of my rude schoolmates and at all of the teachers that were doing absolutely normal things to them that were shocking to me--callous swearing, physical harm, and ignoring the people that needed help. They were absorbed in technology to the point where they became idiots, and they were more often then not lazy. Because I tried not to be like them, I became isolated very, very quickly.
Years passed. I was in middle school now. I liked to say that the sheer stupidity of people there stank like a dead fish. People got angry at me more often, and I often suffered verbal abuse--though not to the point of me developing depression. Looking around me, I felt pathetic. I felt weak and unqualified to stay in their good graces. I wanted to become something stronger.
And that's when the idea of Ironheart popped into my head.
I wanted to be a machine that could sprout futuristic weapons from Star Wars from his arms at will and fire them at anyone that annoyed me or hurt me. It wouldn't matter that they would retaliate back, because I was simply much more stronger than them. It was a childish dream, in a childlike mindset, but it's never left me.
I could go on and on about how I fleshed out Ironheart, so to speak, into a better character than The Terminator mixed with Durge. But that's not why I'm here. I'm here to talk about the story itself.
The story is entirely about Ironheart. Not the Mane Six. Ironheart. Why? Because that's where the struggle is at. That's where the evil is. That's where we want to focus.
Where else would we find evil? In Count Privilege? I dealt with him cheaply. All I did was say he was a corrupt douchebag, and I made him do douchebaggy things whenever he appeared, and you booed and hissed whenever he was present.
Amadeus, False Felony, Kevin, and all the rest of the absolutely unindividualized criminals in Manehattan are not where evil is, either. Those people are simply trying the best they can to survive in a harsh and unforgiving world.
And even with Rainbow Dash, she saw the light eventually and decided to abandon her thoughts before they could take deep root inside of her. So even with the "good guys," evil is not dealt with.
Where, then, is evil dealt with well, effectively, completely? Why, in the main character, Ironheart. He is the centerpiece of both the story and the conflict--and is, in a sense, the protagonist of the story. Isn't it Ironheart who struggles the most with his basic instincts to hate others because they do bad things? Isn't it Ironheart who we want to have overcome the challenges in the story? Isn't it Ironheart who at last succumbs to the power of his own desires to harm others? Isn't it Ironheart who we weep for when he rejects the Mane Six's invitation to join them, and again when he finally kills himself and detonates the Manehattan Project?
It is because of this that Ironheart is the only real, well-developed original character in the story. Ironheart is the only one you're going to remember from all this. So I hope you do remember him. I put a lot of effort into him. I've had him with me for a while now, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to share him with you. This was my opportunity to share him with you, and if you forget him only a few weeks after you read it, then I have failed as a writer.
There's also a lot more beneath the surface as well. Did you notice that not all of your questions were answered by this? You still don't know how Ironheart manages to sprout guns at will from his arms. You still don't know how the temperature drops whenever he's around. You still don't know how the beating of his heart grows louder and louder in some parts, but he manages to mute it in others.
Why, then, didn't I answer that? Because sometimes it's best to leave things in mystery. Sometimes part of the fun of reading is wondering, "How did he do that?" How did Ironheart know where the Mane Six were in time for him to suddenly appear in Cold-Blooded Killer? Did it matter? Do I need to explain each and every single action the characters do? No. No, I don't have to talk about exactly how everything works. It can make rereading the story a more rewarding experience.
I suppose we can say that the Dark Knight trilogy is remarkably similar to this story--going along with the fact that this turned out to be a comic book story. Figures in shadows, what the city needs but not what it deserves, extreme violence, yadda yadda yadda. But a difference is that in those Batman films, they explain too much on how everything works. Maybe it's time to have a little bit of mystery again in how the heroes and villains work.
It's good to have an element of mystery and power in the story that you don't feel the need to explain to the audience. You wouldn't care if I were to scientifically explain how Ironheart can summon weapons at will. Oh, uh, molecules, electricity, pseudo-science bullcrap--you don't care anyways!
In the story itself, there are plenty of motifs you could be interested in pointing out. Hearts. Shadows. Darkness. Cake. One of those doesn't go as well as the other, but they're all worth talking about.
Our brains contain our emotion, but our hearts define who we are. Some hearts are strong and unstoppable. Some disintegrate and fall apart. Some are loud. Some are soft. And there are some who have no heart at all. Heartless beings who spread their ruthlessness across the face of the earth. They are unguided beings who don't know who they are. In words that are not my own, those people go about, "Umbilical in his hand, looking for an outlet to plug himself in." Those poor souls are young, undeveloped, and unremarkable. If you possess a heart, however, you have hope. You have life.
I used shadows a lot, almost like how a cinematographer uses them for dramatic purposes. There's a purpose in shadow. The shadows help us to find ourselves by showing us the outline of what we could have been. We must not step into our own shadow, but, as writers, we must always learn from them. I have never murdered another person, but I must understand the motives and emotions that could drive a person to take the life of another, in order to construct a realistic picture of the world I want to draw you into. We must study evil to see how it works, and learn its methods, in order to further recognize it and avoid it.
Darkness is comforting, and darkness is recognizable once you are in it. I personally am more familiar with my own forms of darkness than I would like to be. Everyone is most comfortable with their own forms of darkness, the kinds of darkness that lie within your heart, no matter who you are on the planet. As writers, it is our jobs to show that darkness the best way we can in order to make the rest of the world understand it better. Writing that shows no darkness or conflict as a result of that darkness is useless and has no place for us. It is comfortable to be in darkness, but that is what the darkness wants you to believe. The darkness wants to draw you in by appearing to be more appetizing than the harsh light of the sun. But in the light, you are awake and alert because of the harsh reality of light.
What is the harsh reality of light? It is that there is darkness, in the form of the shadow behind your back. The harsh reality of light is that there is always darkness there, and that it will never leave you. However, it can also never harm you. Once you understand this, you will understand comfort, and you will be better off then than if you remain in darkness surrounded by evil, without the knowledge that it cannot harm you.
So how can that be morally applied to you?
Step into the light.
And finally, we come to the ubiquitous motif that pops up as much as any other--cake.
Hoo boy, I wasn't expecting this one when I first started writing.
Pinkie Pie and her obsessive hobby of bringing up cakes started in only the second chapter. When Celestia first tore apart the cake to demonstrate the power of guns, I included Pinkie Pie's mournful response only as a way to show her character the way she would have normally reacted in the show. From there, and aided by the comments, cake slowly became more involved in the story. It showed up in places where I wasn't planning on having it before. Besides the Ironheart moments, cake is one of the most recognizable elements of the story. I am still unsure as to why I included cake as much as I did, but even then, the cake moments lead to one specific part of the story where it actually becomes important.
You remember this moment, right? It's when Pinkie Pie gives a cupcake to Ironheart in Step Into The Light. Ironheart, however, doesn't recognize the taste of sweetness. He has been away from good things for so long that when he is exposed to it, it's foreign and alien to him.
This, above all other cake moments, is the only one that really matters. What is the takeaway? Do not become unfamiliar to the promptings of goodness when it really matters. Ironheart was spiritually dulled to the sensitivity of the good things in life because he had spent so much of his time in darkness that he didn't know anything else.
But apart from my attempts to connect a gospel principle to dessert pastries, I have little more to say on this, other than I am still shocked by the amount of attention this received. Apparently, vigilantism and violence sells really well. Hey, if the Punisher could do it, why can't I?
What do I personally think of it? I think it turned out great, but I definitely could have done a lot better, as well. Some parts were a little awkward, and some parts were fairly predictable, and I could have used an editor to help clean up my prose. It was all over the place. One style of writing out thoughts shifts to another in an instant. Not everyone will like this story when they come across it. But that's also good. Any idiot can go through life without offending anybody. And the fact that you retain your love for this in spite of its flaws, grammatical or story wise, only cements the fact that I did something so good you can overlook the errors of human nature.
See, when you first get into reading fanfiction, you start with the low-quality stuff, with bad grammar and weak plots. Then, you get into stories with more compelling plots and OCs. After you read a particularly good one, and you return to the first one you've ever read, you say, "Look at this! This is awful!" By the time you get to the end, you're either raving in madness or you're slamming your head into the keyboard and ritually immolating your computer.
But this doesn't mean the stories have gotten worse; you as a reader have simply gotten better. And the fact that you trusted my skills enough to stick with me means the world to my appreciation of myself.
What was my favorite part? Well, there are many of those. I am especially proud of the beginning chapter that was able to hook and snag so many people. I also really like the chapters Cold-Blooded Killer, An Abused Privilege, Step Into The Light, Catastrophic Warfare, and The Only Power That Really Matters, in addition to the chapters when the girls are reading out of the lab book.
What did I learn from this? Mostly, that you people associate Ironheart with songs by Disturbed. Honestly, I wasn't aware that that band existed, and it certainly wasn't used for motivation. I can understand why you thought I would, though, and thanks to you, now I know the band better. I mostly used inspiration from orchestral songs, from artists like Two Steps From Hell, Cody Still, and Epikus.
Should I choose to de-ponify this story, would it do well? Yes, I think so. But it's done here now. There won't be a sequel to this. I mean, how would the sequel work? What would be in it? It's best to just leave it how it is.
What to do from here now? I have no idea. But I'll think of something. Don't worry.
You've come this far. You made it past everything I gave you to think about. All I can say to that is...I'm glad you came.
I dedicate this story to you, with all my love, for taking the time to walk this journey with me and for caring enough in it to finish it. To all of you that cared for me enough to love this journey. You made this happen. You gave me the power to continue and the resolve to type crude letters into words powerful enough to influence character and send tears swimming in your eyes. At the time of writing this, I am small, untouched and untainted by the real world. I am not a professional writer by any means, but the way you supported me made me feel like I was.
Even now, I have no idea how it was I managed to finish this. I already attributed it to you, but I think sheer dumb luck played a big part of it. Divine inspiration played another small part, here and there, and another part of it was just me ignoring my schedule to give this out. Mostly, though, it was you.
Thank you, farewell, and remember always the hero's way.
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Well, a neat ending for me. I really enjoyed this story.
8971851
Your approval is all I seek. I did my job right if you come out of it thinking a little differently than you did before.
8982678
It’s a possibility
What tell. This world isn't white nether black,the evil or good is that our moral we tell (PS: sorry for english)
9048715
9048586
Praise me. Please.
9048715
My story “The Black Sun” may have an answer for that.
Definitely recommending on my wattpad
9194638
Hold up, dija read the whole thing, or is this an early assumption on reading the first chapter?
Because the assumption is right, this is a good story, but I want to know!
9194638
I read the whole thing. It was really good!
This story could only have ended in one way. It was dark, gritty, and filled with emotional anguish. At one point in my life I was damn close to becoming like our villain/victim. I was one of those souls who almost went Columbine on my school because every one of them would have deserved it. Private Christian School was hell on Earth. I hated everyone around me and would lash out at anyone even looking at me. I got teased, punched, kicked, and so forth until I violently exploded. Everybody, even my own Mother, ignored the fact that John Davis (not the lead singer of Korn) was a terrible little pile of anger and hate, but the ONE TIME that I blew my top, I was sent to a shrink. Not him though. Why? Because his father was a criminal in prison and they felt sorry for him and let him do whatever he wanted. That bastard NEVER faced any repercussions for anything he ever did. He's probably murdered 15 people by now. And honestly, if I saw him on the street, I would very likely try to run him down with my car. Not only for vengeance, but to make sure he never did anything like that or worse, to anyone ever again.
Overall, a good story. That said, it did not make me feel good... and that is what made it excellent. The best stories are the tragic tales of warning. I gave this a like and a fave.
9225086 Erm... not to sound rude, but you contradicted your own argument. While it is true that children are born ignorant of what good and evil are, as people, just like Celestia said, we have a powerful natural inclination toward the darkness of our own most base desires. You're a believer so you should understand this principle better than most. If children were truly born innocent then we would have never needed Jesus to die for ours sins because we would have no drive to perpetrate or perpetuate wickedness in the first place.
After reading this, all I can say is... WOW! THIS STORY WAS AMAZING! HOW DID I NOT FIND THIS SOONER? It had everything I wanted to read for a long time. It had action, drama, mystery, and anything you'd expect from a story like this. When I was reading the story, I really felt like I was Ironheart. I sympathized with him, and supported him until the end. He deserved a happy ending, but even he himself knew that it was impossible for him. I love him even more for that.
No one acted ooc in here. The mane six were completely like the show, and the oc's were awesome. All and all, it was a fantastic read.
Thank you for making this story. Without you, I'd never think about the line between justice and vengeance like before. This was exactly what I needed to read.
9370126
This may be one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I'll remember this one. Thank you for making me feel like I did awesome on this.
Now read how this story should have ended! It's another story of mine. You should have no trouble finding it.
9370165
Way ahead of ya! That one was paw-some too!
(See what I did there? Huh? Anyone? Okay, I'll just shut up.)
9604072
Yeah, Ghost Rider, I know. I made that comment in 2017, m8. Was watching the Punisher series at the time.
I don't know if this will ever get any sequels, but I'd like to see it done. Maybe not with Ironheart as the main character, since he's probably dead. I've got some general ideas for a sequel, but it's up to Brady to decide.
Just wanted to mention that this was a great journey, and every time I look at the story's icon showing up, I remember all the time and emotions I spent reading it.
9627521
What are the ideas for a sequel? An apprentice takes up Ironheart's motto and begins her own bloody swath of vengeance?
9627715
Well, it's similar, but it variates depending on the outcome. They're not fully-stretched ideas yet, so I need a bit more time coming up with something real good.
9627725
I gotta be honest, though, I would never have considered that possibility of a "Disciple of Ironheart." I intentionally left things off so there wouldn't be a sequel.
But to be fair, "Disciple of Ironheart" sounds like the coolest thing ever.
9627735
It does? Thanks! But like I said, if you wanted to ever make a sequel, I could give you ideas. So, even if you don't, it doesn't bother me that much. Your story, bro.
A review
9849368
Yeah. "Oohhhh..." indeed.
I think I found the perfect theme for Ironheart...
10047349
Oh, that's chilling me to the bone. Great choice. Other songs people suggested were from Disturbed. And there's a Two Steps From Hell song called Ironheart as well that I used as the inspiration for his name.
I regret that I haven't found this sooner, I was enamored from the first word! As someone who's always enjoyed the gritty characters like Punisher or Red Hood, this story fascinated me from the start, but it becoming more tragedy than simple anti-heroism grew on me very quickly. And as someone who was bullied harshly in my younger days, I could see a lot of relatable occurrences, but never once did I think "This is the type of being I could become'.
As you'd expect, I deeply enjoyed this story, from its characterization to it's action. Quite frankly, even Privilege was well done because some people are that disgustingly one "note" (Pun intended.) I couldn't help but get Count Of Monte Cristo vibes, as another vengeance driven tale where, except Dantes had someone there for him to prevent him from likely ending up as jaded as Ironheart.
Anyways, I ramble and digress. Loved the story, 10/10, and leave anyone who reads my comment with a quote from Camelot. "Revenge... the most worthless of causes."
10624282
Sorry I didn't get to this comment in time. Thank you so much for enjoying the story and leaving a comment! It means a lot to me. This story is one of my darlings. I hope you consider reading others.